Wilder (The Renegades) (18 page)

He was quiet so long that I figured he’d fallen asleep.

“Leah,” he said, startling me.

I steadied my nerves and turned back to him. “What?”

“You need to know that it doesn’t matter to me,” he said, his eyes open and honest. “Well, it matters because it hurt you, shaped you. But the rest of it? None of it matters. I hope one day you’ll tell me so that I understand
you
better, but that’s the only reason. I read one article that gave vague details, and then I shut it down. I wasn’t digging for gory details, or voyeurism. I just wanted to know about you.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding my head because I was too drained to argue anymore. I wanted to hide away in private and lick my wounds, both the ones he’d inflicted, and the ones I’d caused with my own very public reaction.

He tipped my chin toward his. “And I don’t care about whatever physical damage you’re hiding.”

I almost laughed. “You have the body of a Greek god.”

A wry smile lifted the corners of his perfect lips. “I have more scars than you can count. More broken bones than could ever mend. You are far more perfect than I will ever be. I shouldn’t have looked, but I did. And now I know, and you know that I know, and the whole plane knows, too.”

I rolled my eyes. “And what are you going to do with this knowledge?”

“Understand you better. Learn what makes you tick, what makes you pull away when I get too close, what it’s going to take to break down those walls of yours.”

“They’re pretty thick,” I admitted, knowing they were damn near unscalable.

“Good news for me is that I’m exceptionally good at defying…well, everything.”

Our eyes locked—anger, fear, regret, and a new understanding passing between us with a simple glance. He kept me tethered with nothing more than a thought, unable to move or pull away. Then he lowered his head slowly, giving me ample time to pull away if I wanted to.

I didn’t.

He brushed his lips over mine in a kiss so tender that my eyes watered all over again. “Nothing matters to me except how you feel about it now. How it affects you now. What you choose to do about it
now.
”

“I’m doing the best I can,” I answered truthfully.

He nodded. “I get that. But I need you to understand something. To know it in your bones.”

“What?”

That devilishly sexy look flickered across his features. “My number one goal is still to get into your pants—and stay there as long as possible.”

I almost snorted, but his comment gave me back the one thing his knowledge had stripped away—my confidence.

Chapter Seventeen

Paxton

Mykonos

Leah’s excitement was palpable as we headed out of the airport. It bubbled around her like a living, breathing thing as she took in every detail around us.

“You know this is just the airport, right?” I asked, reaching out my hand for her backpack. How funny that it had only been meant to last us the day trip in Istanbul and now it was our sole piece of luggage for days.

“But it’s Mykonos,” she said, her smile brilliant as she handed me the bag.

I swung it over my shoulder, glad she was talking to me. I’d been nervous the rest of the flight until she’d taken my hand during landing.

“Pink is definitely your color,” she joked as we left the shade of the awning and stepped into the sunshine.

“Only manly men can pull off pink,” I argued.

She laughed, the sound peeling away another one of my layers. If I didn’t watch it, this girl was going to have my soul bare. After my confession on the plane, I felt like I’d already stripped.

“Okay, so where are we going?” she asked as I led her through the parking lot.

“Right about…” I pointed toward the usual place. “There.”

She looked from the bright blue Jeep Wrangler to me and back again as we came up to it. “And what are we going to do with this?”

I squatted down in front of the left wheel and pulled out the key that had been taped there, dangling it from my fingers. “I figured we’d drive it?”

She crossed her arms under her breasts, the lace of her bra clearly defined against the silk of her shirt. “You cannot steal someone’s car.”

Oh, this was too much damn fun. I opened her door, popped the glove box open, and handed her the registration. Without waiting for her to read, I started unzipping the top.

“Wait…” She shook her head as I was finishing up. “I don’t read Greek, but…that’s your name. How is that your name?”

“Because I own it.”

Her beautiful forehead puckered. “I don’t understand.”

“No, but you will,” I promised as I motioned for her to climb in.

Once she was buckled, I took off, my turns extra careful and my speed beneath the limit. As we made our way up along the side of the terraced hill, I kept near the middle of the road unless there was someone coming in our direction.

“Whoa,” she said as we crested the first hill.

“Yeah,” I agreed. The port was spread out beneath us, the waters of the Aegean the greenish blue I missed every day that I wasn’t here. Against the backdrop of the shoreline, the white houses, and that little windmill I was fond of, it was gorgeous. Sitting next to Leah, her hair coming loose from its bun, the wisps flying in the breeze, and the top of the Jeep off, it was perfection.

She turned in her seat, trying to keep the view as we headed inland.

“Don’t worry. I’ll bring you back later. You’ve never seen anything until you see the sunsets here.”

“You’ve been here,” she said, her little eyebrows drawn together.

“Yes,” I answered, keeping my hands on the wheel and off her. As the streets narrowed, I slowed to almost a crawl. A branch of pink flowers overhung the gate above us, and I quickly snagged one of the flowers, tucking it behind her ear as I brought my hand back into the Jeep.

“A lot?” she asked, her fingers tracing the outline of the flower.

“Yes.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to explain yourself?”

I couldn’t stop my grin. “In about ten minutes.”

“You owe me,” she muttered.

“Anything you want,” I promised, picking up her hand and kissing the soft skin on the back of it.

When I lowered our hands to the console between us, she didn’t let go.

I knew we were on tentative ground, where our relationship had no definition, but that also meant it had no boundaries—no limits. In that moment, holding her hand in mine was everything.

I wasn’t even going to stop to examine how frightening that thought was. No. I was just going to enjoy it.

We neared the other side of the island, where we pulled off onto a dirt road that led to a large white arched gate. “I keep telling her that she needs more security than this,” I muttered as we drove straight through.

The house itself was white and fairly large by Mykonos standards, single-level until it followed the terrace of the natural landscape down the hill behind it toward the beach.

We pulled into the circular driveway, and I kissed Leah’s hand again. “I need you to know something before we go in there.”

“Okay?” she said, her eyes darting between me and the woman who had run out of the front door, her arms wide open.

“I’ve never brought another woman here.” Because no one had meant anything to me. Because I didn’t want to give the wrong impression. Because this was my haven, my safety, the one place I could get the hell off the grid, and I didn’t want some crazy ex-girlfriend knowing about it.

Because maybe…maybe I had been saving it for Leah.

She gave me a shaky smile, and I nodded before letting her go and jumping out of the Jeep.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called as a petite figure raced into my arms. She was still too damn thin, and I lifted her off her feet, spinning her in a circle.

“Put me down and let me see you!” She laughed in my ear.

I did, my smile uncontrollable. God, I’d missed her—missed everything about her, but nothing more than the way she made me feel, like I was something precious. “I look the same as I did six months ago.”

“Liar,” she accused me, her eyes a familiar shade of blue. “And who did you bring to meet me?” She took my hand and turned us to where Leah stood outside the Jeep, her knuckles white where she gripped her little backpack.

I moved toward Leah until she took my outstretched hand, her eyes wide and all the more captivating for her nervousness. “Leah, I’d like you to meet my mother. Mom, this is Eleanor Baxter, the woman in charge of keeping me on the straight and narrow this year.”

“Your mom?” Leah said softly.

“Leah!” Mom crushed Leah to her in a hug that would have crippled larger men. Then she pulled back and put her hands on either side of Leah’s face as she’d done to mine. “What a natural beauty.”

“Our boat left us behind in Istanbul and kind of sailed away with my makeup,” Leah said with a grimace.

“Well, you wouldn’t know it,” Mom reassured her. “How are your grades? What are you doing with your future?”

Leah’s eyes widened into huge pools of panic. “I’m near the top of my class at Dartmouth, majoring in international relations, and I’m applying to graduate programs once we’re back stateside.”

Mom nodded. “What do you like about my son?”

Leah’s eyes flickered toward me then back to Mom. “He’s true to his word, and his reckless streak is a little addictive.”

Mom nodded thoughtfully. “What don’t you like about my son?”

Leah relaxed, arching an eyebrow. “His reckless streak runs a little too wide.”

Mom laughed. “That is far too true.” She dropped her hands, clapping them together. “Are you two together?”

“No,” she answered.

“Yes,” I said at the same time.

Mom gave me
the
look, and I closed my mouth.

“Maybe,” Leah conceded. I nearly cheered. Hell, I’d take an inch as progress with her. “It’s complicated.”

Mom nodded. “It always is with Wilder men, dear. I like you. Now, let’s get you settled.”

She turned to walk into the house, and Leah just about sagged in relief.

I took her backpack and put my arm around her shoulders.

“You could have warned me,” she accused.

“And miss that? Never.” I tucked her closer to me, loving the feel of her curves against my frame.

“Did I at least pass the test?” she asked quietly.

“You passed it when he brought you here, dear,” Mom answered ahead of us, opening the door. I rushed ahead to hold it for them. “That was just for fun.”

“I see where you get it from,” Leah said with a shake of her head as we all walked inside.

Home. That was the only word that fit whenever I walked into this house. The open floor plan made the floor-to-ceiling windows, and therefore the sea, the main attraction, all the furnishings in the house comfortably minimalist.

It was the one property out of dozens that she’d asked for during the divorce.

“Paxton, why don’t you take her down the hall to the bedrooms. You take the blue one and give her the white one with the ocean view. Leah, it’s right across the hall from Paxton’s just in case that maybe turns into a yes.” She threw Leah a wink and headed toward the other end of the house where her room was.

Leah was quiet as I walked her to her room. Well, my room. But I didn’t mind giving it to her, knowing it meant she’d be in my bed—the bed she immediately sat on when we walked in.

She gazed out the window, where there was an unencumbered view of the beach below. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Yeah,” I answered, watching the way a slight smile tugged at her lips. “It is.” I’d had those lips on mine, tasted her tongue, felt the way she came apart under my hands. She was every bit the firework I’d known she would be, and I couldn’t touch her. Not until she’d made the decision to trust me with everything she was. “You know, I’m going to get settled. There’s a computer there if you want to log in to eCampus. I know you’re dying to.” I pointed to the desk on the opposite side of the bed. “There are some of my clothes in that dresser. They’ll be too big for you, but they might work to sleep in tonight.” With each word I backed up a little more, until I was standing in the doorframe.

“Are you running away?” she asked.

“Yep,” I answered truthfully. “It’s that, or I start persuading you to take off your clothes.”

She gave me a purely incredulous look. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Now I was standing in the hall, but I wasn’t sure the distance was safe enough, not as tightly strung as I was over her. “Okay, well, I have a practice area here, so I’m going to go check everything out.”

“I’ll wave a red flag if I get turned on,” she answered with a smile.

Fuck it.
I crossed the distance between us, taking her mouth in a kiss that was blatantly sexual, my tongue moving inside her mouth the way I craved moving inside the rest of her body. I kissed her like I’d left a piece of my soul with her and I needed to explore every line of her mouth to find it.

She groaned, her fingers digging into my shirt, kissing me back with her own fierce demands.

I’d never felt such a primal need in my life. Not just to fuck her, or even make love to her, but to brand her in a way that she’d never doubt that she was mine, that I was hers.

I broke the kiss and backed away with my hands in the air. “Yeah, red flag. Good idea.”

Then I walked away from her as fast as I could.
You fucking ran, admit it.

“Paxton, you need to eat something before you head out to that track,” Mom called from the kitchen in Greek.

“I’m fine,” I answered, but I still pulled out a stool and sat at the bar, the white granite cool beneath my fingers. There was no point arguing with Mom when food was involved.

She put a grilled cheese in front of me and then rested her palms on the counter as I devoured it in about five bites. “God, I miss these,” I said, my mouth full.

“What are you doing with the girl, Paxton?” she asked.

“Or we can cut right to it,” I said before taking a long sip of iced tea. She still made it sweet—the way Dad liked it.

“She’s not your usual type.”

I looked away, knowing she’d cut straight through my bullshit. “You don’t like her?”

“On the contrary. I might like her too much. At least, too much to let you crush her if you’re only interested in the chase.”

“That’s not fair. She’s not like anyone else. She’s…she’s special to me.”

Her eyes softened. “I knew that the moment you showed up with her. You and I have always been birds of the same feather. Nothing ties us down for long. But, Paxton, not everyone is built like us, and you need to keep that in mind before you turn that young woman’s maybe into a yes. The life you lead…”

“I can have a relationship, too. I deserve to try.” I hated that she saw every problem at its base, every fire at its point of origin.

“You deserve love, Paxton. You deserve a woman who is going to stand by you and support the crazy things you do, because it’s part of who you are. You deserve to watch yourself through her eyes, to grow into who you can become simply because she deserves your best. But that also means that you have to be willing to change.”

Leah’s face ran through my mind. How she looked when I first saw her on the balcony, the way her lips slightly swelled when I kissed her, the way I hadn’t been tempted by any other girl since I met her. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m ready.”

She squeezed my hand, her eyes lit with a fire I hadn’t seen in years. “Maybe you are. Now go tune up your bike—I know you want to—and I should take Leah shopping so she’s not stuck wearing your old clothes while she’s here.”

Leah. Wearing my boxers and a white tank top. Or my pajama pants so loose that I could slide them over her ass. I nearly groaned at the thought. “That would be great. Use my credit card.”

She scoffed. “I have more money than I know what to do with.”

I leaned over the counter and kissed her cheek. “I know. I just like spending mine on Leah.”

She waved me off, and I headed out back, savoring the warmth of the sun as it soaked into my skin. This place had always healed my soul, even when I was a kid. Through the fights and the inevitable divorce, Mykonos had always given me a safe haven.

I hoped it could do the same for Leah.