Why Not Me? (27 page)

3:14 AM

     SUNDAY     

From:
Mindy Kaling

To:
Jim Dufault

Subject:
Hello

Date:
Sun, Sep 11, 2005 at 11:13 AM

Dear Big Jim,

I don’t know how to tell you this, but, I just woke up, and while cleaning up my utterly trashed apartment, I noticed the unthinkable: two of the three trash cans you lent me are missing, presumably stolen.

You are not the only person who has suffered a loss—my piñata was also stolen, and yes,
after
it was stuffed with candy. It never occurred to me that someone would do something like this in my own home. Although, a lot of strange things happened last night, so perhaps it’s just par for the course. First, a close friend didn’t show up with a potential guy I might like. Then, while I was reeling from that disappointment, and picking up plastic cups from on top of my toilet tank cover (honestly, who leaves plastic cups in the bathroom of someone’s
home
?), a man kissed me out of nowhere. It was pretty confusing because a week ago this man was someone I might have blocked on Facebook, if he was the type of person who had Facebook, which he isn’t. Suffice it to say, I have a lot to think about, and I’ll reimburse you for the trash cans, and please don’t tell Headmistress Resnick-Klein. She has a PhD in being an old crone.

Yours truly,

Mindy

P.S. please don’t repeat that old crone comment to anyone.

Mindy Kaling

Latin Teacher, High School

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

(212) 555-1445 (work)

(617) 453-8688 (cell)

Tumblr: aromeofonesown.tumblr.com

AIM handle: LatinLover1979

—You can also catch me on Facebook—

“Don’tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” —Pussycat Dolls

7:02 PM