Why Not Me? (25 page)

My college friend Lindsay is coming and I promised her there would be single guys for her. She’s really cute,
I swear
, and not in that way where only girls think it, like that time last year when I insisted Frida Kahlo was hotter than Britney Spears.

Love,

Mindy

Mindy Kaling

Latin Teacher, High School

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

(212) 555-1445 (work)

(617) 453-8688 (cell)

Tumblr: aromeofonesown.tumblr.com

AIM handle: LatinLover1979

—You can also catch me on Facebook—

“No more drama, no more drama.” —Mary J. Blige

From:
Sam Cook

To:
Susan Cook-Velazquez

Subject:
RE: RE: babysitting?

Date:
Fri, Sep 9, 2005

Actually, I think I’m not going to go, so I don’t need you to babysit. Thanks.

Sam Cook

US History, High School

Chair, History Department

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

     SATURDAY     

From:
Mindy Kaling

To:
Sam Cook

Subject:
hi

Date:
Sat, Sep 10, 2005 at 8:20 AM

Hi Sam,

I know you’re probably out enjoying your weekend with your daughter, but I hadn’t heard from you and I thought I would write anyway. You can ignore it if you want.

The truth is, I am having a pretty tough time right now. When Ethan broke up with me, I felt like I’d been pushed off a cliff. It sounds crazy, even to me, because now looking back at our relationship, I don’t understand what was so great about it. I guess I’m the kind of person who likes to be part of something so much that I won’t care if the something is bad. Then I went to Rome this summer by myself on the trip we planned together, thinking it would be like
Under the Tuscan Sun,
but it wasn’t. I ate dinner every night alone at a restaurant where the reservation was made for two. I felt guilty that I was there alone, I bought two entrees, and ended up spending an enormous amount of money on food. Also, I got mugged the second day, which is why I’m wearing the same sweater in almost every picture on
aromeofonesown.tumblr.com.

Now, there’s a chance I
might
like a guy, I don’t know him, but if there is even a remote possibility he thinks I’m attractive, I feel like I need to take that chance. Unfortunately he’s coming with my friend Lindsay and the only way she’ll come is if there are cute single guys there. If you could stop by tonight, it would mean so much to me. I will do anything for you, even stop sending you long, personal emails from this account.

Love,

Mindy

Mindy Kaling

Latin Teacher, High School

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

(212) 555-1445 (work)

(617) 453-8688 (cell)

Tumblr: aromeofonesown.tumblr.com

AIM handle: LatinLover1979

—You can also catch me on Facebook—

“No more drama, no more drama.” —Mary J. Blige

From:
Sam Cook

To:
Mindy Kaling

Subject:
RE: hi

Date:
Sat, Sep 10, 2005

I’ll see you tonight.

Sam Cook

US History, High School

Chair, History Department

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

From:
Sam Cook

To:
Susan Cook-Velazquez

Subject:
RE: RE: RE: babysitting?

Date:
Sat, Sep 10, 2005

Hey, remember how I said I wasn’t going to go to that work thing? I’m gonna go. I will drop Molls off at 8 if that’s okay. Will tell you about it later. xo

Sam Cook

US History, High School

Chair, History Department

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

From:
Mindy Kaling

To:
Sam Cook

Subject:
RE: RE: hi

Date:
Sat, Sep 10, 2005

OH MY GOD, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, YOU ARE SO GREAT!

I’ll never say US History is easy again just because it’s only like two centuries old, and I’ll never let anyone say anything mean about you EVER, like when people say you drink all the coffee but you never throw out the grounds!!

SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mindy Kaling

Latin Teacher, High School

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

(212) 555-1445 (work)

(617) 453-8688 (cell)

Tumblr: aromeofonesown.tumblr.com

AIM handle: LatinLover1979

—You can also catch me on Facebook—

“No more drama, no more drama.” —Mary J. Blige

From:
Mindy Kaling

To:
All Faculty

Subject:
EVENT REMINDER “A Back to School Soiree Chez Mindy”

Date:
Sat, Sep 10, 2005

Hello everyone!

Tonight’s the night! Just a friendly reminder, please allow 90–100 minutes to arrive from Manhattan if you are coming by subway. You can take the Q train until the last stop at Ditmars Blvd. Once you get out, you’re on my street! I am nineteen blocks west on the right side of the street. I am sorry to say that because I live on the sixth floor and because it is a walk-up, the party is not easily wheelchair accessible. I have written my landlord about this matter but unfortunately it won’t be resolved by tonight.

If you want to bring alcohol, that would be great!

Can’t wait to see you there!

Love, Mindy

IF YOU CANNOT ATTEND THE PARTY FOR ANY REASON—PLEASE LET ME KNOW VIA EMAIL OR PHONE SO WE CAN PLAN ACCORDINGLY AND WE ARE NOT WAITING FOR A PERSON WHO ISN’T GOING TO COME.

Mindy Kaling

Latin Teacher, High School

The Dalton School

108 E 89th St, New York, NY 10128

(212) 555-1445 (work)

(617) 453-8688 (cell)

Tumblr: aromeofonesown.tumblr.com

AIM handle: LatinLover1979

—You can also catch me on Facebook—

“Don’tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” —Pussycat Dolls

10:23 PM

10:45 PM

11:12 PM

11:40 PM