Whispers of Love (7 page)

More and more, she found she was wondering what had happened to her baby. She'd had no idea when she'd made plans for it to be adopted that she would feel the parting so much; there were days when she felt as though a part of her was missing.

Being absent for so long also had an effect on her work. There were so many new procedures and rules that for the first couple of weeks she was struggling to keep up and frequently made mistakes or misunderstood instructions, something Sister Speakley was quick to notice.

‘Your work is far from satisfactory, Nurse
Montgomery, so if you are still worrying about your mother, then I suggest that you go home for a couple of days and set your mind at rest,' she ordered, halfway though the second week.

Christabel was more than happy to comply. She hadn't been home since October. Although her mother had seemed to accept the explanation of why she couldn't come home at Christmas and had realised that she couldn't keep in touch because of the high security measures, Christabel was worried in case somehow or other she discovered the real reason for her absence.

The two days she spent at home reassured her that she need have no worries at all on that score. Both her parents were pleased to see her and when she told them that she was not allowed to divulge what had been happening at the hospital they said they quite understood.

She'd had an uneasy moment when they went to see Violet and her new daughter Kay. Her mother was such a proud grandmother, exclaiming how perfect the baby was, and pointing out that little Kay had the Montgomery blue eyes.

Christabel couldn't help feeling a twinge of remorse that she'd said nothing about her own baby when her mother had added, ‘My only grandchild, and she looks just like you did, Christabel, when you were that age.'

Lewis handled the situation in his usual diplomatic way and the next minute they were
talking about more serious matters to do with the War and its effect on everybody at home as well as the soldiers on the Western Front.

Even so, Christabel was relieved when it was time for her to return to Hilbury. She knew that from now on her work there would be far more demanding than when she'd first decided to become a nurse, but she was determined to focus on nursing to the exclusion of everything else.

On her return, she found her whole attitude to the patients was different. At first, each time a new batch of wounded men were brought into the wards she'd been sickened by the sight of some of their appalling wounds, but now she found she could look at gangrenous limbs, horrendous flesh wounds and suppurating sores with detachment. It was almost as if the soldiers were no longer individuals, merely impersonal bodies that she was handling, and because it no longer worried her she became more dexterous when helping with the dressings.

Sister Speakley was quick to notice this and when casualties started arriving after the second battle of Ypres, she began to give Christabel more responsibility.

Many of the wounded, Christabel discovered, were her own age and those well enough to do so often tried to flirt with her or one of the other young nurses. Peggy claimed that cheering them up was as good as any medicine they could
administer. Christabel didn't agree with her theory and remained aloof and she soon found that the patients noticed this and treated her with respect.

The one exception was Karl Blume, a young German. Blond, with pale-blue eyes and chiselled features, he spoke fluent English. His injuries were slight; a broken shoulder and a flesh wound in his chest. He was not confined to bed and, to her annoyance, he followed her constantly and tried to engage her in conversation, even though she usually ignored him.

Whenever she had any time off duty, she usually took a stroll round the perimeter road and, more often than not, Karl would be there. The very thought that he must be watching and waiting for her irritated her.

When he overheard her telling Peggy that she was going home for the weekend, his eyes narrowed. ‘Take me with you,' he ordered.

For a moment, Christabel thought he must be joking. ‘Patients are not allowed to go outside the hospital grounds,' she reminded him.

‘Not officially, so if you tell me the time you will be leaving I will join you along the road.'

‘You can't do that. You'd be caught. The MPs would spot you in your hospital blue uniform and take you into custody and you'd be severely punished!'

‘I would wear my khaki uniform.'

‘A German officer's uniform, are you mad?'
She stared at him in disbelief. His nerve astounded her. Surely he must know what the punishment would be if he was caught.

‘Well? Will you let me accompany you?' he challenged.

‘Most certainly not,' she told him sternly.

In the two days that followed Christabel went to great lengths to avoid Karl. She toyed with the idea of cancelling her leave, wondering what her own position might be if he followed her and then claimed that she had agreed to his going with her. As she changed out of her uniform into her own clothes, she hoped he'd abandoned his preposterous idea and that he wouldn't be at the station.

He was and, to her astonishment, he was wearing a British uniform. He nodded but she ignored him even when he raised his stick to his cap in a formal salute as she walked past him.

As they waited on the platform she was conscious of him walking up and down with a measured tread, tapping his stick rhythmically against his trouser leg.

He occupied a different carriage to her, but when she alighted at the Exchange he was right there at her side as she made her way out into Tithebarn Street.

Christabel tried desperately to think of what to say to stop him from following her, but then, when she turned to speak to him, she discovered he was no longer there. She looked around
but he seemed to have completely vanished. Puzzled, but nevertheless relieved, she wondered if she ought to report him when she returned to Hilbury or whether it was best to say nothing about it.

Determined not to let it spoil her weekend, she put it out of her mind.

Her parents seemed pleased to see her; her mother thought she looked thinner than when she'd last been home, and worried whether this was because she wasn't getting enough to eat or whether she was working too hard.

Lilian wanted to know all about the patients and said she wished she could become a nurse because she was fed up with having to stay at home and help her mother.

‘You are too young at the moment,' Christabel told her. ‘Anyway, think yourself lucky that you have such a comfortable home and time to go out with your friends.'

At dinner, her parents dominated the conversation. Her father talked endlessly about the war and how he would deal with the situation were he in charge. Whenever her mother managed to speak, she bemoaned all the shortages of food and everything else. Lilian said nothing and although Christabel found their conversation tedious she tried hard not to show it.

Neither her parents nor Lilian had any idea about what it was like to go short of anything, she realised. They lived in the lap of luxury,
she thought, as they enjoyed an excellent meal and generous helpings on all their plates. Her mother complaining so bitterly about shortages made her want to tell her about the squalid poverty she'd witnessed in Wilcock Court, but she knew that she couldn't do that without revealing why she had been living there.

As her father settled down to read the
Liverpool Evening Echo
, she could almost hear Maggie Nelson saying, ‘I never buy a paper because they're a waste of money. You can read all the latest news from the lurid headlines on the placards for free.'

She remembered how Maggie had shopped, buying a joint of lamb for Sunday roast, having it cold on Monday, minced on Tuesday, in a pie on Wednesday, and with an assortment of vegetables as scouse on Thursday. Then it had been fish and chips on Friday and bread and scrape on Saturdays – or sausages and mashed potatoes, if she had enough money before it started all over again.

Maggie had been forced to be frugal yet she rarely grumbled, Christabel recalled, even though she had no luxuries at all in her life and had to make every penny do the work of two.

She was so kind, and looked after me so well, yet I never even thanked her, she thought guiltily. I left Lewis to tell her that I no longer wanted the room.

When Lilian began talking about the new baby it made her feel uncomfortable. She had
not intended to visit Lewis and Violet this time but Lilian was insistent.

‘It's months since you last saw her and you'll be amazed by how different she looks,' Lilian enthused. ‘I had no idea that babies grew so quickly.'

The next afternoon Christabel agreed to go and visit Violet with her mother and Lilian. As her sister had foretold, she was amazed. Little Kay was now almost four months old and no longer a tiny little thing who spent most of her time asleep but plump and lively and taking notice of what was going on.

Her gummy smile and occasional gurgling laugh brought smiles to all their faces. Lilian sat cradling her until Violet suggested that Christabel might like to hold her.

For a moment, the thought of holding the plump little body in her arms horrified Christabel but she didn't know how to refuse. As the baby looked up into her face, her deep-blue eyes staring straight into her own, Christabel felt her heart thudding.

Kay was the same age as her own baby would have been, and it might just as well have been her own child that she was holding in her arms, who was looking at her so intently. She couldn't help wondering where her own little girl was and whether or not she was as loved and well cared for as little Kay was.

Mabel was so proud of little Kay, making much of the fact that she was her only grandchild, and
Christabel once again wondered what her parents' reaction would have been if she'd confided in them when she was pregnant.

When she went to bed that night she found herself wondering if perhaps Lewis had been right after all and whether, as her parents loved his little Kay so much, they would have accepted her child?

It was now too late to do anything about it, she thought sadly. She had given up her baby and now she had no idea at all where her baby was; she could only hope that her child had found love and that she was well cared for and happy.

There was one thing she could do, she resolved. First thing in the morning before she caught the train back to Hilbury, she would go and see Maggie Nelson and thank her for all she'd done for her.

Maggie was astonished to see her on the doorstep. She greeted her enthusiastically and looked startled when Christabel handed her a big bunch of red roses.

‘For me?' she gasped. ‘No one has ever bought me flowers before in the whole of my life.'

Over a cup of tea she expressed sympathy for Christabel's loss. ‘Your husband told me that you'd lost the baby,' she said, laying one of her work-worn hands on Christabel's. ‘Perhaps there will be another one soon,' she added. ‘You're such a lovely couple that you deserve to have a family, you'll make lovely parents.'

Her words made Christabel feel so guilty about the way they had deceived her that she almost broke down and told Maggie Nelson the truth. Then, realising that it would not do either of them any good, she held her tongue. It was all in the past, she reminded herself, and she'd resolved to start afresh, so why burden Maggie Nelson by telling her?

The train was on the point of pulling out as Christabel rushed on to the platform. As she settled into a corner seat she suddenly wondered if Karl Blume had also caught it or whether he was still at large and, if so, what she ought to do about it.

Peggy Wilson clamped a hand over her mouth, her grey eyes filled with astonishment, when Christabel walked into the room they shared, dumped her bag on the floor, and flopped on to the bed with a groan of weariness.

‘What on earth is wrong with you?' she laughed.

‘I feel half crippled,' Christabel groaned. ‘I've had to walk from the station because there was no transport,' she grumbled, kicking off her shoes and massaging her aching feet. ‘Do you know why?'

‘All leave has been cancelled. There's a hue and cry going on because that German patient, Karl Blume, is missing,' Peggy told her. ‘The Military Police are here investigating.'

Startled, Christabel sat bolt upright. ‘Oh heavens! He followed me to the station!'

Peggy looked startled. ‘You mean when you went home?'

‘That's right. He'd heard me telling you that I was going home and he asked if he could come with me. Of course I told him it was impossible, but he was on the same train as I was and he was wearing a British officer's uniform. Heaven
knows how he managed to get hold of that. I didn't speak to him, but he got out at the Exchange, the same as I did, and then he just seemed to vanish.'

Peggy looked worried. ‘When the officer in charge of the investigation was checking the staff list, Sister Speakley told him you were on weekend leave. Perhaps you ought to go and let them know you're back . . . and about Karl Blume.'

‘What do you mean?' Christabel frowned.

‘Well, you do know where he went, even if he didn't go with you,' Peggy pointed out.

Christabel looked uncertain. ‘I'll think about it,' she demurred. ‘You keep quiet and say nothing . . . right?'

‘I'm certainly not going to say anything. I don't want to be in trouble,' Peggy blustered, her face flushing. ‘I still think you should let someone know,' she added, leaving the room before Christabel could answer.

As she put her shoes back on, Christabel decided that she would go and tell Sister Speakley what she knew about Karl Blume's disappearance.

‘You did the right thing in reporting this to me, Nurse Montgomery,' Sister Speakley told her approvingly.

Privately, she wondered if Nurse Montgomery had led the young German officer on, but there seemed to be no point in making an issue about
it since the Military Police had taken the matter over and it was out of her hands. All she need do was send Nurse Montgomery along to speak to Sergeant Williams who was in charge of the inquiries. If he believed her story, then everything would be cleared up quickly and quietly and the nursing staff would be exonerated over any carelessness on their part in allowing Karl Blume to leave the hospital.