Whispers of Love (4 page)

After that the waiting seemed to be interminable. Her mother came up to bed but still her father and Lewis remained downstairs. She was so tired that she'd almost given up in despair when she heard the drawing-room door open and heard the two men come out. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard her father say, ‘I'm going to lock up for the night so perhaps we can talk about it again tomorrow.'

As Lewis was about to walk past her door, Christabel called out to him in a whisper.

‘Heavens, you startled me,' he exclaimed. ‘I thought you'd be in bed and asleep by now, since you came up over an hour ago.'

‘Lewis,' she said as she laid a hand on his arm. ‘I desperately need your advice. Can we go for a walk first thing tomorrow morning
before any of the others come down to breakfast?'

He frowned. ‘Of course, but can you tell me what it is about? You sound as though there is something dreadfully wrong,' he said, his voice full of concern.

‘There is, that's why I don't want to talk about it here in case someone overhears us and you know what a little chatterbox Lilian can be.'

He nodded understandingly. ‘Eight o'clock? I'll be waiting at the end of the drive for you? Are you sure you don't want to give me some idea of what it is about?'

She shook her head. ‘Thank you, Lewis, I knew I could depend on you. I'll tell you everything in the morning.' She closed her bedroom door quickly, not giving him time to say anything else or question her further.

 

It was a cool, hazy September morning as Christabel made her way down the drive to meet Lewis. He was already waiting and, without a word, he tucked her hand through his arm as they set off at a brisk pace down the road together.

‘Now come on, what's all this cloak and dagger stuff about?' he asked, squeezing her arm as they turned into the next street, ‘Are you in some kind of trouble?'

It took Christabel several minutes to formulate what she intended to say to him because
each time she started to speak the words seem to stick in her throat. In the end, she blurted out, ‘I'm pregnant, Lewis, and I don't know what to do. I need your help.'

‘Pregnant!' He looked down at her, a shocked look on his handsome face. ‘You surely don't mean you've become involved with someone since you've been at Hilbury?'

‘Heavens, no.' She shook her head. ‘It happened before then, on Philip's last leave. As soon as I suspected, I knew I had to get away from home before Mother guessed. That's why I decided to train as a nurse. It was the only way I could think of to get away from home without them stopping me.'

Lewis let out a long, soft whistle. ‘Why on earth didn't you tell me earlier instead of packing your bags and leaving home. That's only made matters worse.'

‘I wasn't completely sure . . . I . . . I half hoped I was wrong and that everything would come right again and that my feeling sick was something to do with the shock of losing Philip,' she mumbled, her face red with embarrassment at having to talk about such matters with her brother. ‘Even when I arrived at Hilbury and found that I was still being sick most mornings I tried to convince myself that it was the change of environment and the smell of antiseptic or else the different kind of food I was eating because the symptoms always wore off by lunchtime.'

‘You could be wrong,' he said hopefully. ‘It might be shock and so on.'

‘No, I know for certain that it isn't any of those things,' she said despairingly.

‘So you are absolutely sure?'

Her colour deepened. ‘After last night I am quite positive. You know what Lilian said, when she asked Violet about whether she had quickened.'

‘Yes.' He frowned, and waited for her to continue.

‘Well, I have, too. Several times I've felt the baby moving and I know it is there and growing bigger all the time because my clothes are all too tight for me. That's why I need your help, Lewis; don't you see, soon it will be obvious to everyone. I won't be able to stay at Hilbury and I can't come home.'

‘Are you quite sure that you don't want either Mother or Father to know?'

‘Of course I don't! You know perfectly well that they'd be terribly shocked.'

‘Would they?' He frowned thoughtfully. ‘They might be quite understanding. After all, you were planning to get married the next time Philip came on leave.'

‘No!' Her chin jutted. ‘I don't want them to know anything at all about it.'

‘So what are you planning to do, then? You won't be able to go on working as a nurse.'

‘I know that; I've left it too late to have an abortion, and I want to have this baby and then
have it adopted. I'm hoping that that will be the end of the matter and I'll be able to get on with my life again.'

Lewis stood stock still and grabbed her by the shoulders and stared down at her in disbelief. ‘Do you know what you are saying, Christabel? This is me you are talking to.'

‘Don't try and talk me out of it,' she said, pulling away from him and starting to walk again. ‘I've thought it all through and that is why I want you to help me.'

‘So what are you hoping that I can do about it?' he asked in a bewildered voice.

‘I can't ask Father to increase my allowance and no matter how frugal I am I know it won't be enough to live on once I am no longer at Hilbury, so I want you to help me find a cheap room somewhere and pay the rent for me until after I've had the baby.'

‘That's a rather tall order, Christabel. I have increased responsibilities of my own now that Violet is pregnant. I'm not sure that I can afford it.'

‘Please, Lewis; I'm depending on you. You earn a good salary and I'll pay back every penny it costs you as soon as I am back at work again. I'm not asking you to install me in a house of my own, I only want one small room in a cheap lodging house or somewhere like that and, of course, it must be in some other part of Liverpool.'

‘Where on earth do you think you are going to find a place like that?'

‘I don't know but I thought you would. There must be cheap rooms around the dock area, some of those small streets off Scotland Road, somewhere like that.'

‘Most of those are overcrowded slums. Two or three families all living together under one roof, sharing everything from kitchens to lavatories,' he told her flatly.

‘I know, and I don't mind. I've become used to sharing a room with someone since I've been at Hilbury.'

‘It's not quite the same though, is it? I imagine everything is scrupulously clean at Hilbury and—'

‘But I have to find somewhere, Lewis. Look, we have to get back before anyone misses us and wants to know why we went out so early.' Her voice rose and she smothered back a sob. ‘I'm counting on you to help me to find somewhere to live and then, after I've had the baby, please would you help me to arrange for it to be adopted?'

Lewis looked taken aback. ‘All right, all right. I understand the fix you are in, but I do need time to think this through. When did you say you thought this baby was due?'

‘About the same time as yours; sometime in February. So you see the predicament I am in and how much I need your help.'

‘I'm still of the opinion that you should tell Mother, or even the Hendersons – after all, it
is
their grandchild.'

‘That is right out of the question,' Christabel told him. ‘If you won't help me, then I'll find someone else who will or I'll get rid of it myself somehow.'

‘Christabel! You are overwrought; you don't know what you are saying.'

‘So you will help me?' She looked at him pleadingly. ‘I'm counting on you, Lewis.'

‘I'll have to think about it,' he said evasively. ‘I think we'd better be getting back now or they'll be wondering where we are.'

‘I can rely on you to help me, though?' Christabel persisted as they began to retrace their steps.

‘There's an awful lot involved,' he parried. ‘It's not just a question of finding you somewhere to live, but also arranging where you can have the baby. If you want to keep it quiet, then it will have to be a private nursing home and they are very expensive.'

‘I've told you I will pay you back every penny. I'll go back to Hilbury the minute I've had it,' she promised.

‘What if they don't agree to take you back? When they hear you are going to have a baby, they'll probably dismiss you.'

‘They're not going to know, though, are they? I'll tell them I will be taking some time off to look after Mother. You could write them a letter saying she has been taken ill and asking if I can have a few months off to look after her.'

‘Christabel!' Lewis stopped and stared at her
in disbelief. ‘I can hardly believe that you can be so devious.'

‘Would you write the letter? Not yet, of course,' she added hurriedly. ‘I want to go on working for as long as possible. With any luck, I won't need to leave Hilbury until November.'

Christabel was extremely conscious that her body was rapidly changing and there was no disguising the fact that it was thickening.

Each day when she put on her nurse's uniform it seemed to be that little bit tighter and she became increasingly worried about how long she was going to be able to manage to keep the fact hidden from Peggy, who shared her room, never mind Sister Speakley and everyone else at Hilbury.

It wasn't until she went home one weekend in late October and her mother commented that she seemed to be putting on weight, that she decided the time had come to leave Hilbury.

That weekend she went to see Lewis on the pretext that she wanted to find out how Violet was.

‘You are only home for a couple of days and you are going to spend time visiting them? I didn't think you liked Violet all that much,' her mother said tetchily.

‘I thought you would be pleased because it seems to be the polite thing to do,' Christabel said smiling tightly.

‘Yes, perhaps you are right. Maybe I should come along with you.'

‘No, you rest, Mother. You can see Violet at any time,' Christabel said quickly. She guided her mother towards an armchair. ‘Why don't you sit down, put your feet up and have a little nap. I'll only be gone for an hour or so and when I come back we'll have a nice cup of tea and I'll tell you all my news.'

To Christabel's relief Violet was in her bedroom resting when she arrived so she wasted no time in telling Lewis that she now felt she had to leave Hilbury as soon as possible and asking him to do whatever was necessary to make it possible.

‘I've given it considerable thought and I don't think writing to the hospital is the answer,' he told her.

‘Why ever not?'

‘Well, for a start, they'll think it strange that I write to them and not Father and, furthermore, what will we do if they reply and he gets hold of the letter?'

‘Then why not come to Hilbury and collect me? They won't think that strange; they'll think it's very urgent and that you're doing your best to help. They'll understand that you've come because Father is staying at Mother's side. In fact, it will make it look all the more serious.'

‘Very well, but where will you go?'

‘I was hoping you would be able to find me a room first,' Christabel told him impatiently.
‘Somewhere that is very cheap and far enough away from home so that there is no chance of me ever bumping into anyone I know.'

‘I have made one or two enquiries. I thought it might be a good idea if you went over to Wallasey, but everything over there is quite pricey, far more expensive than here in Liverpool.'

‘Then can you find something around the docks? I'm not likely to meet anyone I know there, and it will be cheap,' she asked him.

‘It's not a very desirable area, Christabel; you won't like it there.'

‘It will do; I'll only have to be there for a few months, until I've had the baby. After that I will be going back to work at Hilbury.'

‘If you are quite sure, then I'll see what I can arrange,' he promised. ‘As soon as I've found somewhere for you I'll let you know and then, providing you like it, we can decide when I will put the other part of our plan into action and I will come and collect you.'

‘I'll need to be out of Hilbury as soon as possible, though. Could you rent the room and then come for me at Hilbury? You don't have to let me know when it will be; taking me by surprise will be all the better because I won't have to pretend that I'm shocked by your news.'

Christabel was on tenterhooks when she returned to Hilbury. Every time someone called out her name she hoped that she was being
summoned to Matron's office and that she'd find Lewis waiting there.

The week dragged by and she began to wonder if he'd let her down, then, on the Thursday, when she'd almost given up hope, the call came.

She was helping Peggy to put clean sheets on a bed when Sister Speakley came bustling over. ‘Nurse Montgomery, Matron wants to see you at once in her office,' she told her sharply.

‘What have you done wrong this time?' Peggy grinned as Christabel straightened up and headed for the door.

‘Nurse Montgomery!' Sister Speakley's voice cut like a whip. ‘Smarten yourself up before you report to Matron. Your cap is lopsided and your apron strings are not tied correctly.'

‘Yes, Sister.' Christabel obediently straightened her cap as she hurried to the door. Once outside the ward, she almost broke into a run in her eagerness. Lewis and Matron were in such a serious conversation when she arrived that her affected surprise at seeing him there went unnoticed.

‘Nurse Montgomery, I'm afraid I have bad news for you. Your brother tells me that your mother has been taken ill and has asked if you can return home and take care of her. Normally I would not permit a nurse just to leave without notice, but, under the circumstances, I am prepared to make an exception. You may collect whatever you need from your room and meet
your brother in the main hall. I hope you will be able to return to your duties here soon.