Whispers of Love (3 page)

‘Nonsense! If she was taken ill, then of course we'd make arrangements to release you temporarily. If that's your only concern, then you should go ahead and sign on the dotted line,' he told her emphatically.

Christabel nodded thoughtfully and, for one fleeting moment, wondered if she should also confide in him about her predicament; explain that the real reason for her hesitancy was that she was pregnant and didn't know what to do about it.

Instead, she remained silent and as Dr Murray started to move away, asked, ‘I wonder how long it will be before Hilbury receives its first consignment of wounded soldiers?'

‘If you stay with us, you will be one of the first to find out,' he said, smiling warmly at her.

Christabel's infatuation with Mark Murray
grew ever stronger over the next few weeks. No matter where she was working, whether it was on the wards, in the sluice room or in the kitchen, she found herself looking out for him and felt quite disappointed if a day passed and she didn't see him.

Peggy pointed out that she ought to be careful. ‘People will soon be talking about the way you're flirting with Dr Murray,' she warned.

‘Rubbish. I'm not flirting with him,' Christabel defended. ‘I admire him, that's all.'

‘You know what Sister Speakley said about fraternising,' Peggy reminded her.

‘That was with the patients who will all be young soldiers. She said that because they had been injured they'd be very vulnerable and looking for someone to hold their hand. I hardly think Dr Murray comes into that category.'

‘No, but he is a doctor and you are only a trainee auxiliary nurse,' Peggy rejoined.

Christabel ignored her advice. She continued to make sure that her and Dr Murray's paths crossed as often as possible. Again she considered whether to tell him that she was pregnant and to ask his advice then she jibbed because she was sure he would be shocked by her behaviour and she hoped that one day they would become real friends.

Her hopes of that happening were dashed when Peggy told her that he was a married man and had two small children.

It was like a slap across the face. For a moment, she didn't want to believe what her friend was telling her.

She stood there completely stunned then felt herself flush hotly. How could she have ever been so silly? she thought ruefully. Her crush on Dr Murray was suddenly shattered and she wondered how she could have been so deluded as to compare him with Philip. True, they both had a shock of fair hair and deep brown eyes, but there the resemblance ended.

As she made her way to her room, she felt an overwhelming sense of gloom. What was she going to do now? Carried away by her foolish dreams she had lost count of time and she realised with a sinking heart that by now she must be three months' pregnant. That meant that even if she had contemplated having an abortion as a possible way out of her dilemma it was out of the question now because she had left it far too late.

She would have to act and fast, she thought in dismay. Another month and it would become so obvious what was wrong that she wouldn't be able to hide her condition.

She felt choked by panic and an inability to think clearly. She daren't go home; her parents would not only be horrified but would also consider it a terrible social disgrace.

For one moment Christabel thought of taking Peggy Wilson into her confidence, but then decided that was probably very unwise. There
was nothing that Peggy would be able to do to help her and there was always the chance that she might gossip and tell some of the others at Hilbury.

Once anyone in authority knew about her condition then Christabel was pretty sure that she would be asked to leave immediately.

She tried to tell herself that she still had plenty of time to make a sensible decision about her future and, even though she had no idea what that would be at the moment, she was sure that she would be able to think of someone who would help her or something that she could do.

Long after she and Peggy had gone to bed, turned out the lights and stopped talking, Christabel found that sleep eluded her. Her mind was a confused jumble of what had happened in the past and how she had come to be in such an alarming predicament.

The next morning she felt heavy-eyed and weary and found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the lecture she was attending. Twice Sister Speakley rebuked her and when the class ended she asked her to stay behind.

‘You seem to be very distracted and inattentive this morning,' she commented, her voice sharp with annoyance.

She listened to Christabel's mumbled apology in silence, studying her so closely that Christabel was certain that Sister Speakley would discern the reason.

As she walked away after she had been dismissed with some severe words of caution she felt a fluttering beneath her ribcage and she thought she was going to faint.

For a moment she thought it was stress because she felt so humiliated at being spoken to in such a way by Sister Speakley. Then she forgot all about that as realisation dawned on her that it wasn't stress that had caused the flutter but the baby quickening. The child she was carrying was already capable of movement strong enough that she could feel it.

As she undressed for bed that night she surreptitiously studied her silhouette. The belt of her skirt had been getting tighter for days and as she was wearing only a long white lawn nightdress, she could see that her stomach bulged noticeably; her breasts seemed bigger and were quite tender.

As she crept under the covers her fears mounted. She recalled the exact date when she and Philip had made love and worked out exactly how pregnant she must be.

The results alarmed her. She realised that somehow she must have miscalculated. She wasn't three months' pregnant but was well over four.

In the small hours of the morning the answer finally came to her about what she must do; she must take her brother Lewis into her confidence just as soon as she possibly could.

She and Lewis had always been very close.

When they had been much younger he had always made a great fuss of her and had been very protective. Whenever she had been told off by one or other of their parents and sent up to her room, he'd always managed to find a way to come up and comfort her. They'd become even closer after their sister Lilian had been born.

At eighteen he'd started work as a junior clerk in their father's firm and from then on, when he received his pay packet each week, he'd bought her little treats like a bar of chocolate or a comic. When Lilian found out, she protested so much about it, claiming that it was not fair because Lewis wasn't buying her anything, that in the end he'd been told to stop doing so.

They had still remained close even after he had started going out with Violet, who was now his wife, and she knew that she could rely on him to help her. He was twenty-four, a man of the world, so he wouldn't condemn her or be shocked by what had happened. He would not only be understanding but he would also be able to advise her about what he considered was the best thing to do.

There were only another few days left of the six-week training course to run. Once it ended and the students had passed their final examination, they would all be given a week off before starting work on the wards.

Even though Christabel's parents had been against her becoming a nurse, they would
surely be proud of her achievement when they heard that she was now a fully fledged auxiliary nurse.

They were bound to make it an occasion for a family dinner to celebrate. Lewis and Violet would be there as well as Lilian so she would have to find a way of getting Lewis on his own so that she could confide in him and ask him for his help.

At all costs she must be careful that Lilian didn't overhear their conversation. Her sister would be sure to tell their parents and she could imagine the consternation that would cause.

Violet would also probably be taken aback but she could be relied on to be discreet. She would not say a word to anyone if Lewis told her not to. She certainly wouldn't say anything to either Basil or Mabel, because Christabel knew that she was far too timid and too much in awe of her in-laws to face them with such news.

Christabel's announcement that she was now a fully qualified auxiliary nurse met with a lukewarm reception from her mother because there appeared to be some other exciting family developments that were far more important.

‘Take your things up to your room and then hurry back down because we are waiting to start dinner, and it's a special celebration,' her mother told her.

‘Of course.' Christabel smiled. She thought the family had forgotten all about her birthday, even though it was such a milestone being her twenty-first, but obviously they hadn't. This was to be a family meal to celebrate the occasion.

‘Lewis and Violet have been here for ages and have some special news but I'll leave Lewis to tell you all about that,' her mother added.

‘Heavens,' Christabel paused at the foot of the stairs, ‘he isn't going to join the army, is he?' she asked in alarm.

‘No dear, not as far as I know.' Her mother frowned.

As she took off her outdoor clothes and put them away, Christabel gazed round the familiar setting with a feeling of nostalgia. It was only six
weeks since she'd left home yet in that time her entire life had altered so much and there were even more dramatic events to come, she thought morbidly as she selected one of the many dresses hanging in her wardrobe, changed into it, brushed her hair, and prepared to meet the rest of the family.

They were already seated in the dining room; all of them, except Lilian who was considered too young, enjoying a glass of sherry. She went over to where her father was sitting in his usual chair at the head of the table and kissed him perfunctorily before taking her place facing her sister at the other end of the table. She waited to be offered a sherry and felt disappointed when she wasn't.

‘Have you heard the latest?' Lilian babbled excitedly, looking from under her lashes across at Lewis who was sitting on the left of his father. ‘It's far more exciting than all this gloomy talk of war.'

‘It's not merely talk, Lilian,' Basil intervened reprovingly. ‘War has been declared and some of our troops have already landed in France. What is more, I gather that, any day now, we can expect to hear reports of actual fighting.'

‘I think Lewis has some news for us all,' Mabel said quickly, smiling across at her son.

‘Well, yes.' He hesitated, looking at his wife as if for approval, and when Violet gave him a brief nod and a timid smile, he cleared his throat and continued. ‘Yes, we do have some news
for you.' He coughed nervously. ‘Violet is pregnant; we are expecting a baby soon after Christmas, probably at the end of February.'

Christabel felt the colour rush to her cheeks. She quickly took a sip from her glass of water to try and calm her racing heart. ‘In February!' The words were out before she could stop them. No one seemed to notice, they were all too intent on congratulating Violet and Lewis, asking if they'd chosen a name yet, and so many other questions that Violet looked overcome with embarrassment.

‘So does that mean you are four months' pregnant, Violet?' Lilian asked, her clear, piping voice cutting across the chatter. ‘If so, have you quickened yet?'

‘Quickened?' Violet's sallow cheeks turned red. ‘I'm not sure what you mean, Lilian.'

‘Have you felt the baby moving? Are you quite sure it is alive, because a great many first-time pregnancies end in miscarriage; did you know that?'

‘Lilian!' Lewis gave her a furious look.

‘In our biology lessons we've been told all about what happens when you become pregnant,' Lilian explained looking all wide-eyed and innocent.

‘I hardly think that gynaecological subjects are suitable at the dinner table,' Basil said firmly. ‘I am sure, Lewis, we all wish to congratulate you and Violet, but now we should change the subject and talk about something else.'

Christabel let her thoughts drift as congratulations were showered on Lewis and Violet. She waited for her mother to remind them that she had just had her twenty-first birthday, and to tell them the news that she had now qualified as an auxiliary nurse, but her mother seemed to have forgotten about her.

Christabel felt rather hurt but, not wanting to steal the limelight from Lewis and Violet, she decided to say nothing. As soon as she could politely do so she said goodnight and escaped up to her room.

‘I was late arriving and so I haven't unpacked my suitcase yet,' she explained. ‘When I've finished doing that I'm looking forward to having an early night. It will be so wonderful to be able to sleep in my own comfortable bed again.'

Once upstairs she undressed and put on her dressing gown but she had no intention of going to bed. Her mind was far too active to even consider sleeping. She wouldn't be able to rest until she'd found a way to talk to Lewis on his own. She wondered how long it would be before he and Violet came up to bed.

Several times she went out on to the landing and listened with growing impatience to the sound of voices from below. It seemed they were all still in the dining room because she could hear the chink of cups and smell the tantalising aroma of coffee; she would still have a considerable wait.

It was almost an hour later before she heard her mother call out to let Mary know that she could come and clear away and to ask her to make sure that there was a jug of water and glasses in each of the bedrooms. Ten minutes later they all started to say goodnight to each other and make their way upstairs.

Christabel drew back into her room, peeping out through a crevice in the door to see if there was any possibility of waylaying Lewis.

She felt a surge of relief when she saw that Violet was coming upstairs at the same time as Lilian and guessed that her father had detained Lewis so that he could have a private word with him.