Where Love Finds You (The Unspoken Series) (16 page)

I wanted to hope. I wanted to believe my grandfather’s last words. Perseverance paid off my entire life. From Honor Roll to the world renown violinist I could’ve become. But somehow I allowed that instrument, my voice, to become buried with Parker. In the ground. Dead to this world. Believing that perhaps I needed to look elsewhere for the so-called hope I promised my grandfather I’d never give up.

Problem is . . .  I never discovered the right place to look.

 I liked Olivia. Don’t get me wrong. The girl had beauty, brains, and charm. But being with a girl who is eyed up by every man within a one mile radius isn’t my idea of fun. I know some guys like the whole trophy wife thing. They want a wife who looks good because they think it makes themselves look better or at least feel better. I have no desire to look or feel better. I know who I am and I’m comfortable with my shoes, beat up as they might be.

High maintenance and I don’t go hand-in-hand. In fact, high maintenance will eventually realize that although I can repair just about anything in a house . . . I refuse to repair bruised egos with shiny shoes and two-hundred dollar hair appointments.

I’m a simple guy. And I wanted a simple woman. Simple is romantic to me. Ordering pizza and talking on the couch is more romantic than a fancy dinner and a bottle of wine. That’s one reason I loved Lydia. She and I never fought over what to do or what to eat or how to be. And although she could spend a million years on her hair and makeup, she didn’t mind if I ruined her curls by running my fingers through her hair. Or if I smudged her makeup when I kissed her eyelids. I loved kissing every centimeter of her sweet face.

“What are you thinking about now?” Gavin walked into the room. “Sounds depressing.”

“What’s new, right?”

“So I take it your date with Olivia won’t be turning into another date?”

I removed my hands from the piano keys in front of me and turned to face Gavin. “Did you have to ask? Do you even know me at all? Why would you think I’d like someone like Olivia?”

“Well, you said you wanted someone different, something else. I’m trying to help you find that.”

“I don’t want someone different. I love everything about Lydia.”

“Then why aren’t you with Lydia?”

I turned back to the piano. “It’s more complicated than that.”

Gavin’s footsteps trailed off. “If you say so.”

After another moody melody I knocked on Gavin’s bedroom door.

“Yeah?” he said.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

Gavin’s room and my room looked as opposite as him and I did. He could’ve been a spokesperson for Ikea. Everything Ikea. Spotless and modern. He took care of his stuff. Enter my room and beware of the mountain of clothes piled up on the floor. Right next to the basket they belong in, mind you.

“So what’s going on in the mellow yellow world of Matthew?” Gavin put his iPad down and leaned against the black headboard of his bed. 

“Just bored.” I sat in a chair by his desk. “What’s going on in your life oh mysterious one?”

“There is something.” 

“By the looks of your face it’s something good.”

“Do you think it’s possible to find the girl from the coffee shop years ago?”

“I gave up on that kind of hope long ago. We don’t live in a Nicholas Sparks movie and I’m not sure I’d want to.”

“But let’s say something like that were possible . . . would you want to be with her or would you settle for someone else?”

“I don’t know. Why do you have to make my life more complicated than it already is? Isn’t that my job anyway?”

He smiled and picked up his iPad.

“Leaving me on that note, huh?”

“Just thinking.” He slid his finger across the glossy screen. “Why don’t you go play us a song piano man? I’m actually in the mood for depressing for once.”

“Funny, because I’m not.”

My phone rang as Heidi and I finished up the last few strokes of the turquoise bathroom. I didn’t recognize the number, so I let it go to voicemail, but it rang again.

“You gonna get that?” Heidi said.

I nodded. “Hello, Matt speaking.”

“Hey Matt,” the familiar voice said. “Know who this is?”

“Forgive me, but I’m not sure I do.”

“It’s Dee. From the cafe. You didn’t stop in this morning.”

I laughed. “Am I that regular now?”

“Well, yeah. But hey, I had a question for you and since I had your number I figured why not ask, right?”

“No problem. What do you need?”

“Well, I asked you about going on a blind date with the owner here before, right? Her name is Ella. Not sure if I told you that already or not. Anyway, she said she saw you the other day outside of the cafe. Did you see her?”

“Yes. I didn’t realize it was her though. Not as businessy as I thought she’d be. I thought it was just another girl like yourself or something.”

“Yes, she’s unusual like that. Fine taste in art, but not so much in clothing. Simple gal. Anyway, how about that blind date?”

I paused. Frozen by my fear of letting another girl down. Or letting myself down. Again and again.

“Please?”

“What’s in this for you?”

“I just want to see what happens.”

“A real live Cupid, huh?”

“You could say that.”

“I don’t know. I appreciate the thought, and she is pretty, don’t get me wrong.”

“But. . . .”

“I loathe, absolutely loathe, blind dates.” 

I caught Heidi’s smile and rolled my eyes. 

She raised her eyebrows and gave me the eyes, then whispered, “Do it.”

“How about I make you a deal?” Dee said.

“And what would that be?”

“I will get one of Gavin’s paintings sold, get you a gig in here on our busiest night, and all you have to do is entertain a beautiful woman for an hour Friday night.”

“Wow. You’ve got a deal.”

We hung up and Heidi smiled at me. 

“So you’re going on another blind date, huh?” she said.

“Don’t look so excited. Are you and Gavin and Dee ganging up on me or something?”

She smiled and finished washing her hands, then scooted out of the bathroom. I followed her down the hallway, the steps, and into the kitchen. Heidi became a true friend to me, like a sister. I admired her so much and loved our time together. We had one more room left to paint after the bathroom. The baby’s room. But I knew we’d stay in touch. And I’m glad because she really needed friends to be near her during this time. We poured some water and sat at the kitchen table. 

“I have a confession.” She finally broke the comfortable silence between us.

“Yes?”

“There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately and it’s really eating at me.”

“What is it?”

She tapped her fingers on her legs and looked everywhere but my direction. I allowed the silence to take a seat at the table again, figuring she would escort it away when she wanted.

The clock on the wall ticked. Birds flew from branch to branch in the tree by her kitchen window. We took turns sipping our waters as I waited for her to usher silence away, but she never did.

I pushed my chair back and stood. “Well, I better get going. Now I have to go cry myself to sleep over this future blind date failure.”

“Oh stop.” She stood beside me and took my empty glass. “It’s not that bad. You never know, you may fall head over heels.”

I shrugged. “Doubtful.”

Heidi swept her hair into a loose bun in the back and caught me staring at her. We both looked away and I headed for the door. She followed. If I closed my eyes I could almost hear
Moonlight Sonata
in her steps. Something in the air. Something different about her demeanor today. Her smile seemed a little dim and her heart a little heavy.

“If you need anything, anything at all.” I said as I opened the door and stepped out.

“I know you’re there for me.”

I walked away from her weak smile and wished she would’ve opened up to me, but I figured she would when she wanted. Maybe I’m not the right person for that anyway. I found myself constantly wrestling between romantic and sisterly thoughts of her. Until I reminded myself that the reason I loved her the most was her unabashed faithfulness to her husband. 

Friday snuck up on me quicker than I hoped. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock beside my bed. Ten in the morning. Most people already started the last day of their work week and then there’s me. Still in bed.

The shower water hissed in the background. Gavin had a big art show in Lancaster tonight. First Friday. They do this big thing every first friday of the month. All the art galleries and shops in Lancaster have little freebies and fun events. People walk around and love it. I went one time. Bored me to death, so I haven’t been back since. He goes to meet people and sell stuff. Understandable.

I rolled over and meandered to the kitchen, a magnetic force pulling me toward the orange juice. Not looking forward to this blind date.

The shower water stopped and Gavin walked out a few seconds later.

“What are your plans for today?” he said. “Want to come with me to Lancaster? I could use some company.”

“Nah. I’ve got big plans.”

“You? Big plans?” He walked into his room. 

I stayed in the hallway and leaned against the wall. “I promised Dee from
Chances
that I’d go on a blind date with her friend there, the owner.”

“Oh yeah? Decided she isn’t too snobby for you after all?”

“I saw her the other day. She looks pretty low key. Who knows. I’m doing it more for everyone else than I am myself.”

Gavin got dressed, made a quick breakfast, we talked about random stuff, and he left. The rest of the day went by slow as can be. Dee told me to meet Ella at a nearby park at four. When the clock finally hit three I showered and put on my nicer jeans and a normal black t-shirt. Looked in the mirror a few seconds, laughed at myself, and walked out the door.

It was nice enough outside to walk instead of bothering with the car. So I took shortcuts and alley ways and found myself sitting on a bench in the middle of the park, waiting for another woman to let down. Not that I thought I was better than her. Definitely not. Just that I knew most likely it wouldn’t work.

There was always something that kept me from happily ever after. Just wish I knew how to figure that out and get rid of it.

My heart raced all day. Even kept me from sleeping. I didn’t think Dee would actually set me up with Converse shoes, but she did. And I couldn’t get him out of my head since. Over and over I played scenarios in my mind and helplessly watched as they took up residence in my fertile heart.

Now, a few minutes before walking out the door to meet him, I wanted to run back inside and call it off. What if it was him? The him? What if he didn’t recognize me? What if we didn’t like each other?

I didn’t want to see my dreams in the trash can. At least when dreams are out of reach they maintain a hope that doesn’t surface. But there isn’t much hope left underneath when a dream dies.

I walked the streets of Philly to a nearby park. We said we’d meet on a bench in the middle.

Butterflies swirled and fluttered in my stomach. I wiped my palms on my jeans and told myself to breathe. As I rounded the path of the park I saw him. Converse shoes loosely tied. Legs spread. One hand on his left leg, right arm resting on the bench. 

He looked familiar, but could it really be him?

I stepped behind a tree and looked closer, squinting to see through the rays of sun in my eyes. He shifted and looked in my direction. I jumped behind the tree. Hand on my chest, I tried not to laugh. How ridiculous of me. 

I turned to peek again.

“Ella?” 

My eyes stayed down. On his shoes. The same shoes from that long lost day. Same color, same loose laces. No doubt in my mind.

“I’m sorry.” I looked into his eyes. Analyzed his face from the messy blonde hair to the stubble on his defined jaw. “I probably look like an insane person. So embarrassing.”

He laughed. “It’s okay. I have a great love for trees too.”

I smiled, still analyzing his face. Still wondering. I couldn’t tell. This wan’t how I wanted it to be.