Where Does My Heart Belong? (8 page)

CHAPTER
20

Tony and Angie move in
the following weekend and life will never be the same.  I swear that child as
the energy of ten people.  During the week, she goes to preschool until noon
and then she’s ours for the rest of the day.  She’s too much for Grandma with
her incessant chatter in Spanish and constant running throughout the house.  I
tell Grandma to go about her usual charity work; I’ll babysit, and try to keep
her busy. 

Keeping her occupied
really isn’t that difficult.  Like all kids, she just wants someone to pay
attention to her.  I ask her to help me learn Spanish.  I took three years of
it in high school but I’ve forgotten most of it.  I’ll point out something and
ask her what it is in Spanish.  She thinks it’s a game and laughs at my
pronunciation.  We play with her dolls, color, and I show her how to bake
cookies.  I teach her how to crochet; it keeps her small hands busy and she’s
so proud of the little square coaster she made for her Daddy to set his coffee
cup on.  One day she tells me that I’m her best friend and I want to break down
and cry.  “You’re my best friend too,” I tell her, and we hug each other.  I
have become way too attached to her and it can only end it heartbreak when this
arrangement is over.  I wish I’d never suggested that they move in.  What was I
thinking?  Apparently, I wasn’t.  Most nights, when Tony gets home, he finds us
snuggled up under a quilt watching TV or me reading to her in Spanish from one
of her little children’s books.  One night after he’s put her to bed he says he
wants to talk.

“I really appreciate what
you’re doing for Angie.  I’m so glad we moved in here.  Are you finding any
time for yourself?  I didn’t mean for you to take on full time babysitting.”

“It’s okay, Tony, there’s
no one else I would rather spend time with.  It’s not like I have anything else
to do anyway.”

“Why don’t you let me take
you out of here once in a while?  Have you been to the Presidio, Lincoln Park,
or China beach?  They’re all walking distance from here, practically outside
your back door.”

“No, I haven’t been there
yet.”

“Then let me take you. 
I’m not doing anything on Thursday, day after tomorrow.  We can make a whole
day of it.  Angie can stay at the school in the afternoon.  They have a day
care for the kids who don’t go home at noon.  What do you say?”

“Okay, I’d like that;
it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten out here and done anything.”

“Terrific, let’s say
10:00 o’clock.  Hey, do you play golf?  The Presidio has a great golf course.”

“Never played it, but go
ahead if you want to. I’ll just follow along.  I always wanted to learn but I
have a shoulder injury from a horseback riding thing and the doctor said it was
something I probably shouldn’t do.”

“No problem, I’ll rent a
golf cart so we don’t have to walk and you can amuse yourself watching me make
a complete fool of myself.  I love to play, but it’s probably been six months
since I’ve been on a course.  I’m really looking forward to this, Libby, I hope
you are too.”

On Thursday, we stop at a
restaurant where Tony’s had them prepare a picnic lunch for us and then it’s on
to the Presidio.  The park is beautiful and huge.    Historically it was an
army post for Spanish, Mexican and American armies and there are hundreds of
historical buildings to see.  Besides the golf course, there are creeks, hiking
trails through shaded forests with vista views that overlook San Francisco
Bay.  You could never experience it all in just one day.  I hope I’ll be able
to come back again sometime.

After Tony rents the golf
cart and his equipment, we set out for the course.  He was right, watching him,
is more than amusing.  He’s a terrible golfer.  Every time he chops up the sod
or puts the ball in a sand trap or water I’m cracking up.  “Don’t quit your day
job,” I tell him.  He laughs with me; I’m glad to see he has a sense of humor. 
After that debacle is over we find a nice grassy spot and he brings out the
picnic basket.  The restaurant has given us fried chicken, cheese and crackers,
grapes, apples, a French baguette, and of course a bottle of wine.  It couldn’t
be more perfect.    After lunch, he asks me if I’m tired, do I want to take a
nap.  Nope, I tell him, it’s best to keep moving, work off that food.  He packs
up the remains of our picnic and takes it to his truck.  When he comes back, he
has two kites with him.

“Kites?  We’re going to
fly kites?”

“Yup, San Francisco is a
great place to fly kites.  Which one do you want?”

I choose the one with
Batman on it, and once I’ve got it all sorted out, I start running, and it
launches into the air.  I let the string reel out and watch it go higher and
higher.  Then I lie down on my back on the grass and watch as it climbs even
higher.  Tony isn’t having that kind of success.  His kite doesn’t want to fly
and when it finally does, it ends up tangled in a tree.  He cuts it loose and
comes over to where I’m lying on the ground.

“Guess this isn’t my day
for outdoor sports,” he laughs.  I laugh too and think to myself, ‘I don’t
think any day will be your day for outdoor sports.’  He watches, as my kite
gets further away.  “What are you going to do with it?” 

“I thought I’d cut it
loose and let it travel free,” I tell him.  He gets out his pocketknife and
cuts the string.  We watch as it climbs towards the heavens and then disappears
over San Francisco Bay.

Next, we go to China
Beach and Lincoln Park.  They’re wonderful too, but in my mind, nothing can
compare to the Presidio.

On the way back to pick
up Angie at her school, he tells me what a great day he’s had.  Will I go out
with him again sometime?  “There’s a new club that’s opened in town,” he
says.   “They play country/western music.  Would you like to go there with me? 
We can have a few beers and dance.”

“I like to drink beer,
but I don’t dance that country stuff, Tony.  I never really learned.”

“No problem, I can teach
you.  We can move the furniture around in Jessie’s family room and have our own
private dance lessons.”

“I’ll think about it, but
no promises.”

“I want to see you again;
I want us to be friends.”

“Me too, I already think
of you as a friend.”  What I don’t tell him is that I’d like to be a lot more than
just friends, if only I didn’t have this hang-up with not trusting men.  He’s
the kindest, sweetest, most decent man I have ever met and he’s really starting
to get under my skin.

CHAPTER
21

Before Tony and I have a
chance to go to the new club, Grandma tells me that we have been invited to a
charity ball.  The proceeds from it will be going to the food bank where we
volunteer.  I tell her that sounds great so I start shopping for a new dress. 
I decide on one that is electric blue in color with one shoulder strap, low
cut, tightly fitted and short, just above my knees.  It’s sexier than hell.  I
buy a matching shoulder wrap and heels to go with it.

When I get home, I try
everything on for Grandma and ask her opinion.

“I’m not sure that’s
appropriate, Libby, a long gown would be much better.”

“I know, but it would
have to be altered.  I’m too short to buy anything off the rack and there isn’t
time for that.”

“So be it, but you’re
going stand out like a sore thumb.  You do look stunning though.  Tony won’t be
able to keep his eyes off of you.”

“He’s going?  You didn’t
tell me that.  Who’s watching Angie?”

“He’s not going with us,
but he said he’d be there.  I think he’s taking Angie to his folks place for
the week-end.”

On the night of the ball,
Fred picks us up in his limo and drives us to the country club where it’s being
held.  Once there, I look around for some familiar faces but don’t see anyone I
recognize until Tony comes in the door with a blonde on his arm.  I get a sick
feeling in the pit of my stomach.  He sees us, comes over, and introduces us to
his date.

“Libby, I’d like you to
meet Mitzi Bergstrom. Mitzi, this is Libby Kingsley, Jessie’s grand-daughter.”

“It’s nice to meet you,”
I say and offer her my hand.  She ignores my hand, and sways slightly on her
feet.  It’s obvious that she’s gotten a head start on the party.

“Oh, so you’re the little
country bumpkin that I’ve heard all about.  I was wondering when I’d get to
meet you.  Do you talk country or do you have a real education like the rest of
us here?”

Oh boy, another snooty
rich bitch.  “I kin tawk cuntry jest fine.  Whatcha y’all lak to heah me say
?”  
Tony
is grinning and staring at my boobs.

“I’d like know why you’re
taking up so much of my man’s time, here.  I never get to see my baby anymore
since he moved in with the two of you.  Oh, Jessie, forgive me, it’s nice to
see you again.”  She air kisses Grandma on both sides of her cheeks.  “Still
keeping that
hard earned
money of yours together?”

That bitch, I don’t care
if she’s insulting to me, but when she goes after Grandma, I’m seeing red. 

“I think we should go
find us table now, Mitzi,” Tony says.

“Geez, what a bitch,” I
tell Grandma.  “Are rich women always this nasty?”

“Some of them, especially
the young ones.  Libby, you’ve met my friends and they couldn’t be more
gracious, so don’t go judging everyone by that one girl.”

I keep watching Mitzi as
she greets people and it’s obvious she makes them uncomfortable.  One woman
leaves in tears after talking to her.  I don’t think anyone should have to put
up with this kind of bullshit and I think Tony is a damn fool in his choice of
a date.  Then I get the bright idea to put a stop to it.  The bartender tonight
is a friend of mine, Mac; he’s bartended for us several times at Grandma’s
parties.  I go over to him.

“Hey Mac, what’s the
blonde over there with Tony drinking?”

“Rum.”

“Do me a favor, next time
use 151, and put an extra shot in it.”

 “You got it, Miss Libby,
you naughty girl, you.  I’ve been watching her and she sure does deserve an
early night.”

It doesn’t take long. 
About 20 minutes after she’s had her next drink, she’s out on her feet and Tony
staggers her out the door.  I spend the rest of the night enjoying the music
from the band and dancing a couple of times.  One dance is with an older
gentleman who tells me he’s a rich shipping magnate from Greece and wants to
take me there immediately.  I turn him down.  The other is with a nineteen year
old who’s the grandson of one of the event organizers.  His name is Waldo
Frink, an unattractive name for a more unattractive person.  Pimples cover his
homily face and his neck is oozing with eczema.  Once I get to know him though,
all that unattractiveness goes away.  On the dance floor, he’s Fred Astaire,
turning me into Ginger Rogers.  He has me doing moves I never thought were
possible.  Personality wise, he is one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest,
people that I have ever met.

“I like you, Libby; I hope
we can be friends.   I work at a security firm here in town.   We installed the
system at your Grandma’s house.  Call me if I can ever do anything for you.  I
hope I get to see you again.  I’ve really enjoyed dancing and getting to know
you.”  He gives me his card and kisses my hand.  After the party’s over, I’m
feeling happy; I think I’ve just made a friend.

The next morning when I
come downstairs I find Tony sitting at the little breakfast nook in the
kitchen.

“Hey, what happened to
you last night?  I was hoping we could have a dance together but I couldn’t
find you.  Where did you and Ditzy run off to?”

“Her name is Mitzi and
she had a little too much to drink so I took her home and didn’t feel like
coming back.”

“Geez, you guys were only
there long enough to have what, one or two drinks?  It looks like you’ve found
yourself a cheap date.  I’d like to see Ditzy again; I owe her one for the way
she talked to Grandma last night.  Could you set something up with her for me? 
Maybe make it somewhere dark and out of the way so I can beat the shit out of
her without anyone being around.”

“Boy, you have some kind
of mouth on you.  How do you ever expect to snag a husband when you talk like
that?”

“My husband will be
someone who isn’t afraid of that,” I tell him. 

“Just let it go, Libby, I
don’t plan on ever seeing her again.”  He gets up from the table and starts to
walk away.  Then he stops and turns back around.

“Oh, Libby, just so you
know, I thought you looked amazing last night.”

CHAPTER
22

For the next couple of
weeks, Tony tries to teach me to jitterbug and line dance.  It doesn’t go
well.  He’s really not that great at it and I can’t seem to get the hang of it.

“Don’t worry about it.
We’ll just dance the slow ones,” he laughs.  “Let’s go to that club I was
telling you about.  The dance floor will probably be so crowded that we won’t
be able to move much anyway.  We can just hold each other and sway to the
music.”

“Okay, but if I make a
fool of myself, it’s your fault.”

The next Saturday night
we go to the Lopin’ Lariat.  What a lousy name for a club.  We get seated in a
nice booth and order beer.  I notice a flyer stuck into the napkin holder and
take it out and look at it.  It’s a list of the bands that will be performing
in the next few weeks.   Two weeks from now a band called
The Real Americans
will be playing.  Oh, my God, could this be my Johnny from home, my best friend
in the whole world.  It has to be.  How many other bands could there be with
that name.  I take the flyer and stick it in my purse.  I’ll look into it
tomorrow. 

Tony loves the country
music and the band that is playing is pretty good considering that country is
my least favorite genre.  We have a nice time and I manage not to embarrass
myself on the dance floor.

“That was fun, Libby,
let’s do it again some time.”

“Sure, but next time can
we try ballroom dancing?  I’m getting better at that after dancing with Waldo. 
I’m thinking about asking him to give me lessons.”

“You won’t need Waldo;
I’m really good at ballroom.  Leave it to me; you’ll be a pro in no time.”

“Sure Tony, just like you
taught me to dance that western crap.”

“No, I mean it, Lib, I’m
good, you can ask anyone.”

“Fine, you can be the one
to give me lessons then.”

The next day I call the
Lopin’ Lariat and ask them if they can tell me the name of the bandleader for
The
Real Americans
.  They tell me his name is Johnny Rainwater and the band is
from Eagle Valley, Washington.  I knew it.  I’m ecstatic; I can’t wait to see
him.  What in the world is he doing in San Francisco?  I decide to be there the
night he opens. 

Johnny is one of my
favorite people in the whole world.  I met him in my senior year of high school
when we were both trying out for The Mikado.  We had an instant rapport, became
friends, and have stayed close ever since.  I think of him as the big brother I
never had.  He’s gorgeous, half-Sioux, and half French Canadian; a big cuddly
teddy bear of a man with a tremendous baritone voice that gives me goose bumps
when he sings, and he’s a really good bass player too.

Three days before the
opening, I tell Grandma that some friends of mine from home are in town for the
weekend.  I want to see them. Will she watch Angie Friday night?

“Of course, sweetheart, I
think it’s wonderful that your friends are in town.  Feel free to invite them
here.”

Thanks, Grandma, I’ll do
that.”

On the night of Johnny’s
opening, I dress in brown leather pants, a cream blouse, and red vest, with
high-heeled cowboy boots.  I tell Grandma not to worry, I’ll only be gone
couple of hours.  When I get to the club the door is locked, they won’t let
anyone in until 9:00.  I go around to the back and there’s guy unloading a
pickup.

“Get the hell out of
here,” he tells me.  No one is allowed back here.”

“I’m looking for Johnny
Rainwater.   If he’s here, tell him his little sis wants to see him.”  A few
minutes later the back door opens and he’s standing there, bigger than life.

“Little sis, little sis,
is that really you?”  He runs downs the steps and grabs me in a big bear hug,
swinging me around and around.  “Oh, my God, I can’t believe it’s you, what are
you doing in San Francisco?”  He hugs me so hard that’s it’s hard to breathe
and kisses my face.

“I guess I could ask you
the same thing.  How did you get here?”

“We had a gig in L.A.
that didn’t work out so our manager found this one for us.  Why are you here?”

“My Grandma lives here. 
After Red dumped me I had a rough time of it so I came here to get away from it
all.”

“Come on, let’s go inside,
and catch up. So how are you, what are you doing now?  Are you doing any
singing?” 

“I’m okay but life here
is boring.  I only have one friend and I’m not working.   Grandma keeps me busy
with her charity work but it’s not enough.  I haven’t sung since I left Eagle
Valley.”

“Come sing with me next
Saturday.  I’ll clear it with the owner.    We can practice here all next week
during the day.  What do you say?”

“Oh, geez, Johnny, I
don’t know, I’ll think about it.  It would be great to be back on stage
though.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,
now give me your phone number and I’ll let you know when I’ve got the okay from
the owner.  Right now I have to get set up, but stick around and listen to us.”

“I was planning to and
thanks, Johnny.”

I listen to them play for
over an hour and the band he’s got together is just as good as the one he had
back home.  The drummer, Wade Frazier, is the only member from his original
band; all the others are new.  When they take a break, Johnny comes over and
walks me out to my car.  “I’ll call you tomorrow.  Start exercising that
voice.”

The next day he calls and
says we’re all set.  The owner is even going to feature my name in their radio
ads.  He wants us to start practicing tomorrow afternoon and every afternoon
this week.    I wasn’t going to tell Grandma and Tony about this but now I’ll
have to since I won’t be here to watch Angie.  I break the news to them at
dinner.  Tony looks astonished.  “You sing?  I didn’t know you could sing.  I’d
like to hear you.  Where are you singing at and who’s the band?”

“At the Lopin’ Lariat and
the band is
The Real Americans
.  They’re a Native American group.  The
band leader is from Eagle Valley and has been one of my best friends since high
school.”

“Oh, my,” Grandma says.
“You’re in for a real treat, Tony.  That man is a fantastic singer and so is
Libby, I think I’d like to go along too.  We’ll have to find a babysitter for
Angie.”

“Don’t worry about
babysitters, Jessie.  Angie can stay at the school daycare in the afternoons. 
On Friday, I’ll take her to my folks for the weekend.  I’m really looking
forward to this.”

So am I.  I just hope my
voice is as good as it used to be and that I can learn those stupid country
songs.  I want to do Johnny proud.