Where Does My Heart Belong? (5 page)

CHAPTER
12

December
1969

After the deaths of Desi
and our baby, I am totally dysfunctional.  I quit my job.  I want to get away
from here and decide there’s only one place that I want to go.  My Grandma
Jessie’s in San Francisco.  I call her and tell her what’s happened.  She cries
along with me and then says, “You’re coming to stay with me, and that’s final. 
Get yourself packed up and when you’re ready I’ll send my Learjet for you.”

A Learjet, oh yeah,
Grandma has a jet; she is wealthy, massively wealthy.  Her daughter and
son-in-law used to own three newspapers in California and when they were both
killed in an auto accident Grandma inherited it all.   She sold the newspapers
and invested the money.  She is set for life.  She also inherited their
beautiful 4 bedroom, 3-bath home in the Sea Cliff neighborhood of San Francisco. 
It is huge with 4,000 square feet and a fantastic view of the Pacific and the
Golden Gate Bridge.

Grandma is also no
stranger to troubles and bad times.  When she was a young bride with a new
baby, she watched when her father was killed when he drove his team and wagon
across some railroad tracks and was struck by a train.  Two years later, her
mother died of a ruptured appendix.  She took in her little brother and raised
him only to suffer his death in World War 2.  Then five years later her husband
dropped dead suddenly of a heart attack.  If anyone can help me through my
despondency, it will be Grandma.

I sell my car and some of
my furniture and give everything else away.   I rent a storage unit, paying a
year in advance, and leave my accordions and music equipment behind.  I call
Grandma and tell her I’m ready.  She tells me the Learjet will be here on
Thursday, two days from now at 11:30 in the morning.

I hire a taxi to take me
to the airport and get there early.  I want to see the little jet come in.  I’m
no stranger to aviation; my Dad was a pilot and an aircraft mechanic by trade. 
He would buy wrecked planes and re-build them.  We always had an airplane to
fly when I was growing up.  I held the stick of a plane long before I ever held
the steering wheel of a car.  He taught me to fly and I got my private pilot’s
license but I’ve never been in a jet. 

I watch as the beautiful
little white and blue striped jet comes in for a landing.  When it stops the
pilot and co-pilot both get out and introduce their selves to me and then I see
her at the top of the stairs, its Grandma.  “Grandma, Grandma,” I scream and
race up the stairs to her.  “What are you doing here?”  We hug and kiss.  She
looks so beautiful.  Grandma is 69, still slim, 5’ 4” with salt and pepper hair
and beautiful blue eyes.  I can’t believe she is here. 

“Do you think I’d let you
come alone on a long flight like this?  Besides, we’re not going to San
Francisco.   I’m taking you to Las Vegas for some R and R.”

Oh, geez, Vegas.  Grandma
likes to gamble, Blackjack is her game of choice.  She taught me to play when I
was 7 years old and I became so much of an addict that my Dad finally had to
put a stop to it. 

“Vegas, why Vegas, I
thought Reno was your favorite?”

“Reno’s too cold this
time of year, and besides don’t you want to see Elvis?  I’ve booked
reservations for us to see his show at the International Hotel.”

 I throw my arms around
her and cry, “Oh, Grandma, thank you, you are so good to me.”

“Nothing’s too good for
my sweet girl.  Now hush that crying and come sit down and fasten your
seatbelt, we’re about ready for takeoff.”

After the beautiful
flight attendant, Sandy, serves us lunch, the co-pilot, Dave, comes out and
says to me, “Go on up and take the right chair.  I’ll keep your grandmother
company while you’re gone.”

Another surprise treat
from Grandma.  She’s told them that I used to fly light aircraft and would
probably love the chance of sitting up front.  So I go into the cockpit and
buckle myself in the co-pilots chair.  The pilot, John, grins at me and then
says, “Well are you ready to learn how to fly this baby?” 

“You’ve got to be kidding
me, this instrument panel is mind-boggling.”   I manage to locate the airspeed
indicator and altimeter.  We’re flying at 30,000 feet with airspeed in excess
of 400 mph.  He laughs and then starts telling me all about the jet and before
I know it, we’re almost to Vegas.  When Dave comes back in, he tells me that he
hopes that this is just the first of many flights that I go on with them. 
We’re just about to land so I go back and sit with Grandma.

After we land a limousine
is waiting for us and takes us to the beautiful International Hotel where we’ll
be staying.  It’s the same one where Elvis will be performing.  I can’t believe
all this is happening.

The best part, though, is
that for the past hour and a half I haven’t had my mind on my sorrows.

CHAPTER
13

We spend two glorious
days in Las Vegas.  The first night we relax in our beautiful hotel suite and
order in room service.  We talk and talk, getting re-acquainted with each
other.  The next day Grandma takes me shopping and buys me a new wardrobe
including a couple of evening gowns, one of which I’ll wear when we go to see
Elvis.

“Grandma, it’s too much.”

“Nonsense, girl.  I want
to give you something while I’m still alive, not make you wait until I’m dead
and buried.”

Then it’s off to the
jewelers where she buys me diamond stud earrings and a matching pendant
necklace.  Next, we go to a salon where she’s booked appointments to have our
hair and make-up done.  I feel like I’m some kind of celebrity.  A Learjet, a
limousine, fancy clothes, exquisite jewelry, plus being pampered.  Grandma
leads some kind of life.

When we get back to the
hotel Grandma says she wants to do a little gambling so I leave her to it and
stay in the room so I can try on some of my new clothes.  God knows where I’ll
wear them all to, it’s not like I’m going to have a big social life.  Or am I? 
I really don’t know what kind of lifestyle Grandma leads.

When she comes back we
dress and go to dinner, then it’s off to see Elvis.  Oh, my God, 90 minutes of
watching the sexiest man on earth perform.  And perform he does, he’s an
extraordinary entertainer.  I can’t believe I’m really here seeing him in the
flesh.  I’ve been hooked on him ever since he first came on the scene in the
late 1950’s. The first record I ever bought was his
Heartbreak Hotel
and
I still have it to this day. 

The next day we go on a
bus tour to see the city and later make the rounds of some of the other
casinos.  They are all so beautiful and there are so many different things to
see and do.  A person could live here forever and not experience it all. 
Grandma gambles and wins about $500.00 but I mainly wander around and stare in
awe at this opulent world I’ve never seen before.  Tomorrow we’ll be going home
to San Francisco. 

After breakfast, the next
morning, the limousine picks us up and takes us to the airport where the pilots
and the jet are waiting.  Once again they let me sit in the right chair.  “You
should think about getting type rated,” John tells me.  “I know your grandma
would pay for the training.” 

“I don’t think so.  I
grew up in aviation but it’s never been a real passion.  I don’t even have my
private pilot’s license anymore.” 

“Well, consider it.  Dave
and I will help you anyway we can.” 

When we get to San
Francisco a small limousine and driver are waiting for us.  “This is my
personal car and my driver Henry,” Grandma tells me.  “They’re at your disposal
for wherever you want to go.”  I can’t believe it, my own limo, and driver.

Once we get to her home,
Grandma asks me which of the vacant bedrooms I want.  There is one upstairs
next to her and two in the lower level.  I choose the downstairs.  “It’s
closest to that wine cellar,” I tell her. “One never knows when that’s going to
come in handy.”

She gives me one of those
‘Don’t mess with me, girl’ looks and says she’ll have her housekeeper Meg make
it up for me and bring my things down.  She tells me that after lunch, she
wants to take a nap and suggests I use the time to familiarize myself with the
place.  I’ve been here before, but it’s so big that I don’t remember where
everything is.  On the main floor, there’s the living room with a stone
fireplace and three French doors that open out to a balcony from which to enjoy
the view.  The elegant dining room can seat a large dinner party and the fully
equipped gourmet kitchen is a chef’s dream.  Adjacent to the kitchen is a
family room with another stone fireplace and French doors, which open out to a
garden area.  Then there’s a powder room, mostly used for quests.  On the upper
level is the luxurious master bedroom with a stone fireplace, a large window
seat to enjoy the view, a huge dressing room, and full marble bath with a
view.  A view office space with built in bookshelves and a bar refrigerator
adjoins the bedroom.  The second bedroom with bath has a balcony overlooking
the front garden and the street below.  Then there’s the laundry room and
additional attic space.  On the lower level, there are two bedrooms, one
bathroom, a wine cellar, and access to the two-car garage.  Wow, what a place!

Lunch was simple and
wonderful, a shrimp salad with avocado and a beautiful baguette.  “How come you
have a personal chef?” I ask Grandma.  “You’re a fabulous cook.”

“Meg only cooks when I
have guests.  She’ll do the evening meal too.  Anything in particular you’d
like?”

“Seafood, please,
seafood.  I’m so hungry for seafood.”

“Seafood it is then. 
I’ll tell her and let her surprise us with the menu.  After my nap I want to
talk to you about Christmas, it’s coming up soon and I have a lot of things I
hope you will help me with.”

“I will, Grandma,
anything you need me to do.”  She spends a fortune each year buying toys for
children in hospitals, homeless shelters and anywhere else she can think of. 
She also gives out money to strangers on the street, which my Dad says will get
her killed one day, but she doesn’t care.  She believes in sharing her good
fortune with others.

After she goes to her
room for her nap, I go out, stand on the balcony, and admire the spectacular
view of the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge.  All of a sudden, a terrible
sense of homesickness and depression overcomes me.  What am I doing here?  How
could I sell all my stuff and move on a whim?  I want to go home.  What if Red
comes back, he won’t know where to find me?   There is only one person who
knows where I’m at, and that is Beth.    I know that she wouldn’t tell Red
anything, but then Red isn’t coming back, is he?  I run down to my room, flop
on the bed and cry into my pillow.  I want Red, I want my baby, I fall asleep
crying and wake up an hour and a half later, feeling ashamed.  I’ve never like
pity parties in others but I sure did have a good one of my own here.  Grandma
brought me here out of her love for me; she didn’t have to do it.  I need to
give her back the love she has shown me.  I get up, wash my face, and put on
fresh make-up but my eyes still look red and swollen.

When I go out into the
living room, she’s already there.  She wants me to help her with shopping for
the children and her plans for the Christmas party that she wants to have for
her friends.  She wants my advice as to what to serve for the dinner and what
should she give them for gifts. 
               “Geez, Grandma, Christmas, you know I’ve never really liked it
but I’ll help you anyway I can.  I’m sorry, but I haven’t gotten you anything
yet.  Is there something you would really like?”

“Just you’re being here
is the best gift you could give me.  I haven’t bought you anything yet either
but I have a something in mind.  I want to take you to Stanford and have the
neurologists look at your skull injury after the New Year.  If they think you
need another operation, I’ll pay for it.”

“I don’t have to think
about it Grandma, I’ll go.  I don’t know if I want another surgery but I’ll
wait and see what they say.  I’ve always wanted to get another opinion but
didn’t know where to go.  Thank you so much.”

“Good, I’ll set up the
appointment for some time in January.  Now tomorrow I want to get started on
shopping for the children so let’s get up early and spend the day buying out
the toy stores.”

CHAPTER
14

The next day is a
whirlwind of activity.  Henry drives us to several stores that specialize in
children’s toys.   Grandma has gotten lists from hospitals and other places
that tell her the age and sex of the children and what they want, but after fulfilling
them, she just continues to buy everything she thinks a child would like.   “I
don’t want any child to be left behind.  It’s easy to buy for the little ones,
but for the pre-teens and teens, it’s harder.  I have no idea what young people
are into these days.  The one thing I know they will get is hand-made quilts
and afghans.  Project Linus is donating them.” 

“They’re into music, bell
bottomed jeans, tied dyed t-shirts, flowers in their hair and getting high,” I
tell her.  “It’s the Age of Aquarius, if it feels good, do it.”

“I hope you’re not into
that stuff, you don’t do drugs, do you?”

“No, Grammie,” I say,
using my baby name for her.  “I’ve never done drugs, but I do like a little
whiskey every now and then.”

“I’m glad, and there’ll
be plenty of whiskey at the party.  Now, what do you think I should give my
guests for gifts?”

“Do they all drink, do
they like booze, what about a really good bottle of wine?  California is wine
country; most of the wineries should have a new specialty item.”

“That’s fine, but what do
we do for the couples, giving two bottles of wine seems tacky.”

“How about giving the
ladies a gift certificate to a local spa.  You could give the wine to the
men.    Or, you could give them both a day at the spa, plus the wine.  You said
money was no object.”

“Okay, that’s it then,
we’ll do wine for the men and a spa day for the ladies.  Good job, I’m glad
that’s settled.  Now, what about the dinner menu?”

“Why not give them a
choice between beef, chicken, seafood, or vegetarian?  They can tell you when
they rsvp which they want.”

“Great, but the
invitations have already been sent out and four people have already accepted so
far.  I’ll have to call them and see what they’d like.  We can ask the others
when they call.  So, if you take any phone calls, be sure and ask them.”

We spend the following
week preparing for the party and finally the night for it is here.  The house
is decorated to the hilt.  There are fragrant greens everywhere, beautiful
Christmas decorations, lots of candles, and a huge Christmas tree with packages
under it.  Christmas music is playing on the stereo.  I wear the beautiful long
red dress Grandma bought me in Las Vegas and she is gorgeous in a silver blue
sheath.  When the guests start to arrive I watch as the doorman announces
them.  One very distinguished older gentleman catches my eye.  He’s slender,
about six feet tall with silver hair and impeccably dressed.  Grandma goes over
to him and he takes her hand and kisses it.  She smiles up at him and oh, my
God when he looks at her it’s as if he’s worshipping her.  I go over to them
and she introduces me to N. Frederick Holmes, the famous prosecuting attorney
who is now retired. 

“I’d like you and Fred to
get to know one another,” she tells me.  “I want you to sit down with him and
let him explain to you about all of my financial holdings.  When would be a
good time for you, Fred?”

“How about after
Christmas?  Will the 27
^th
work?  We can meet at my home or I can
come here, whichever you prefer.”   We decide on meeting here and then Grandma
and I go to the kitchen to check on the dinner, leaving Fred to socialize with
the other guests.

“Grandma has a boyfriend,
Grandma has a boyfriend,” I sing.

“Nonsense, girl, Fred has
been my attorney for more than 15 years and even though he’s retired he still
advises me, that’s why I want you to meet with him.  I do have other attorneys
but none that I trust more than Fred.”

“News flash, Grandma, the
way he was looking at you was no attorney/client look, woo, hoo,” I chortle.

“Shush, girl, before the
others hear you, now go on out there and socialize, I want everyone to meet my
beautiful Granddaughter.”  I’m not much of a socializer but I go around and
introduce myself.  One lady, in particular, attaches herself to me.  Her name
is Leona Cashman and she’s Grandma’s closest friend.  “If there’s anything at
all I can do for you while you’re here, just let me know.  If you need someone
to show you around the city, I’m your girl.  I’m a real estate broker and I
know this place like the back of my hand.  I hope we can become good friends.” 
What a nice lady, I’ve met two nice people tonight, her, and Fred; maybe I
won’t be so lonely here after all.

The party was a huge
success.  They all loved Grandma’s gifts and the food was fantastic.  After
dinner, everybody went into the family room, which Grandma had cleared out, for
after dinner drinks and dancing.  Then it was over for another year.

While we wait for the
caterers to finish cleaning up, Grandma, Fred, and I have a nightcap in the
family room.  “Well, Fred, I guess we’ll see you on the 27
^th
.  On
Christmas day, Libby and I are going to a couple of children’s parties at the
hospitals.  I love watching them open their gifts and seeing the expression on
their faces.”

“What are you doing for
New Year’s Eve, Jessie?” Fred asks.

“Nothing, were staying
in.  There will probably be fireworks that we can see from the balcony. That’s
if I can manage to stay awake that long.  Feel free to come over for dinner if
you haven’t anything better to do.”

“I’d like that, Jessie. 
I’ll bring a bottle of champagne.  What time?”

“Let’s have a late
dinner, say around seven-thirty.  I can do steaks, baked potatoes and green
salad if that’s all right.”

“Sounds good, Jessie,
I’ll be here.  Well, Libby, I’ll see you on the 27
^th
and now I’m out
of here.  You both have a good sleep and I’ll call you later in the week.”