When Our Worlds Collide (19 page)

“I heard what you did to Amanda in there. That wasn’t fair
to her, you catching her off guard like that,” she whispers running her hand
over a piece of splintered wood on the railing. I’d do anything to get her to look
up at me.

“Are you defending her?” I question in pure shock.

Kennedy’s head snaps up to look at me in surprise. “I just
know how it feels to want you and know that it will never happen because you’re
too stupid to realize what’s in front of you. I just know how she must have
felt when you laid it all out there for her to understand. Luckily, I figured
it out before I slept with you.” Kennedy stands up straight moving to have her
back turned on me.

“You’re nothing like Amanda. It’s different.” I beg for her
understanding.

Kennedy whips her body around to face me with a fight in her
eyes. “Explain to me how it’s different because I don’t see it. You go around
saying these things to these poor girls, me being included in that group now
all thanks to you, and expect there not to be a reaction from us. I believed
everything you said to me. Everything Graham, every last god damn word. You
proved me wrong. The first little bump in our ‘relationship’ you jump ship and
find comfort in Amanda’s pants. You are exactly who you said you were. I was
just blinded by who I wanted you to be.”

“Don’t belittle our relationship by throwing up air quotes.
I thought you were giving up on us. You basically said it yourself in the
hallway today, so…” I allow the thought slip away. Nothing I’m going to say is
going to fix this. Even I know that now.

“You’re right, I did and maybe I shouldn’t have. I was
jealous, okay? When Amanda put her hands on you in the cafeteria I had to fight
back the urge of ripping her fucking hair out of her head. I’m not that type of
girl, but you make me feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes.” Kennedy looks up
at me through her eyelashes as if she’s pleading with me to understand. “But
Graham, you didn’t fight for me. I show a fear of the possibility of us and you
don’t even fight for me as if I’m not worth your trouble.”

“I’m fighting now,” I argue grabbing her hand but she
quickly jerks it away from me.

“It’s too late Graham. Maybe I’m not worth all the change
for you, but I can promise you that you were worth it for me.” Kennedy leaves
shaking her head in disappointment.  I’m left alone standing on the back porch.

It’s too late. Those three little words continue to haunt me
the remainder of the night. I contemplate leaving and just going home. The only
thing stopping me from walking out the front door is finding Kennedy downing
four shots of vodka with Dan. I know that I have to stick around long enough to
make sure she gets home okay or at the very least that she’s safe to stay.

The night goes by slowly as I watch Kennedy destructively
play several games of beer pong and flip cup. She’s too small. I know that all
the alcohol she’s gulping is going to catch up to her head all at once. I spend
most of the night avoiding taking shots that are offered up to me and staying
stone sober. This is a first for me. I don’t exactly enjoy being around a bunch
of belligerent drunks when I’m sober. I wonder if I’m this annoyingly obnoxious
when I’m drinking.

Blending into the crowd is the only chance I have at keeping
an eye on her. I cringe every time Craig or any of the other guys lay a hand on
her. She has never gone unnoticed even when she thinks she has. Everyone
assumes she’s unattainable…until now.

Apparently that all has changed.

It would seem that they all think she’s fair game and they
are all pining over her hoping for the chance to get deep inside her. I sit
back watching guy after guy man-handle her like they have most of the girls in
our school. If I see one more of them putting their hands all over her ass I am
going to lose my shit. Kennedy’s different.

“You gonna finally tell me what’s going on with you two?”
Mark asks plopping down in the seat next to me. I don’t drop my eyes from
Kennedy. Craig’s skimming his hand along her waist. As the alcohol sinks in,
she’s more forgiving towards his hand placement.

“There’s nothing to tell, bro,” I say pulling my phone out
of my pocket checking the time. 1:30AM.
Kill me.

“Tell that to your face because you look like someone tore
up your vintage New York Yankees jersey.” Mark lets out a loud laugh.

My mind wanders to what Mark had said about Kennedy earlier.
She’s the type of girl you marry, the one that has the ability to climb beneath
your muscles deep down into your bones refusing to leave. I never thought I would
want someone that I would need someone, but watching everyone coral around
Kennedy makes me realize that she’s the only one I want to climb in and refuse
to let her out.

“She’s different and I’m two seconds away of beating the
shit out of someone.” I tell him honestly. My hands are twitching in eagerness
to do just that. There’s mental note of who I will need to smack around growing
with rapid fire in my head.

“I’m glad I’m smart enough to stay away from her then
because lord knows I don’t need another black eye compliments from you. I
learned my lesson freshman year. Now back to what’s important, what the fuck
are you going to do about it because it seems that alcohol is the one
ingredient that makes the Craig Daniel’s charm work,” Mark points to the hallway.
We both watch as Kennedy is led up the stairs holding the hand of Craig. She
stumbles behind him trying to keep her balancing by leaning against the wall.

I don’t know what I’m doing when I stand up without saying
anything to Mark. I follow them up staying strides behind like a true jealous
boyfriend. Craig shuts the door behind them as I slouch down against the
hallway wall outside of his room just in case she needs me.

I close my eyes allowing them to rest. I silently wish that
this day could start over. I don’t know how much time passes as I sit here
debating on what I’m going to do. My options are limited. If I barged in on
them now who knows what I will be walking in on, but if I wait until later I
may be too late. When I finally open my eyes after having them closed for god
knows how long, I hear a few hushed whispers here and there. It isn’t until I
hear Craig’s voice rising that I spring up from where I’m sulking to put my ear
up to the door. Everything sounds muffled like I’m under water. I hear a loud
clatter making my decision rather easy. I don’t care what I walk in on…I’m not
sitting out in this hallway a second longer.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

-Kennedy-

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life where
you wish you would’ve reacted differently? Maybe you would have yelled louder
or fought harder. Maybe you wouldn’t have held back the tears that are
threatening to pool over in your eyes or maybe you would have jumped over a
crowd of your peers and ripped a dumb girls platinum hair straight out of her
head
. Ugh…where did that come from?

That’s what I should have done. That’s what I wanted to do,
but because I’m me I bit back the urge. Instead I threw it back in Graham’s
face by blatantly flirting with Craig in front of him. It was childish. I just
never thought that it would cause such harm.

Clearly, I was wrong.

Using Craig to get back at Graham was the wrong thing to do
in the beginning. I knew that now. I liked the way Graham’s face twisted with
rage when I winked at Craig after the game or ran my hand down his chest
showing him a hint of attention. It was unlikely behavior for me. I felt
comfortable being like that with Graham, but with anyone else it felt too
foreign, too forced.

Right after that girl, who shall not be named from this
point on except by her true name “Skank”, admitted to a crowd of people her and
Graham’s dirty little secret I turned the flirting on overdrive. The plan was
flawed from the beginning.

Being bitter and infuriated, just plain old frustrated is
what got me in this mess. A handful of shots that could take down a stocky
teenage boy, a six pack of beer and nearly three watermelon Jell-O shots is why
I’m staring up at a blank white ceiling with a fan slowly circling around
overhead hypnotizing me into a trance. I’m just staring at this fan attempting
at my best to forget the way I feel right now.

This is how most high school girls get over heartache,
right? Violet said it best freshman year, to get over someone you have to get
under someone else. I know, I know. She’s super “philosophical” and all that,
but at the time it sort of made sense. That theory doesn’t really work for me
though because I’ve never been underneath anyone in the biblical sense at
least. Oh well.

I’m lying here listening to the wind break through the
window from the lake with the sound of heavy panting from Craig who is now
attempting to mount me. I begin to realize that Violet was wrong. Oh boy was
she wrong and it didn’t take me more than a few minutes of making out with a
horny teenage boy to come to that conclusion.

“Craig, you need to slow down,” I demand pushing on his
right shoulder to try to coax his heavy body from on top of me. His hand is up
my top trying to unhook my bra unsuccessfully. Thankfully he listens, sitting
up next to me.

“What’s wrong?” he pants out in between breaths annoyed by
my persistence to halt him stealing my virtue.

I’m drunk, like the kind of drunk where your limbs feel like
noodles or you don’t realize how drunk you are until you sit down to go to the
bathroom and the room begins to spin around you. Although the alcohol is
altering and slowing down my responses I’m smart enough to know that this was
not how it was supposed to happen for me. In a perfect world I would have been
stealing moments away with Graham tonight. Our story took a turn down a dark
road and finding my way back seems impossible now. It was too black to
navigate.

I swing my legs around until my feet hit the ground.
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just…” I try to explain before Craig interrupts me.

“I thought you were into it. I know you want me, Kennedy.
Quit fighting it. Haven’t you been fighting back for long enough?” It sounds
like a question, but it’s more of a statement. He isn’t taking no for an
answer. To him all of the flirting, harmless touching meant something
different. Boys like him have expectations. Craig brushes my hair over to one
side kissing the back of my neck making his way back up to my lips turning my
head slightly to face him. A slight panic rose up in my chest. I don’t think that
Craig would hurt me, but I’ve always had a good intuition about guys and people
in general. Something’s definitely off with him tonight.

I make an attempt to stand up. Having a broken leg didn’t
play in my favor. Before I can utter another word in protest Craig pulls my arm
hard until I fall back onto the bed. There’s a look in his eye, a primal and
merciless stare that makes my stomach jump into my throat the second we lock
eyes. He pins me beneath him holding both of my wrists down with his full strength
above my head. A sharp pain shoots through them as I try to fight to release
his hold. I can smell the alcohol as he breathes down on my neck. I fight back
the bile that’s begging to rise up in my throat.

“Don’t fight it. If it was Graham on you right now, you’d
have those pretty little legs spread wide open for him,” Craig whispers in my
ear with an anger that makes my heart race in fear. It’s the type of tone a
girl wishes she never has to hear while being overpowered by someone. What does
Graham have to do with this? How does he even know about Graham?

Craig must see the confusion in my eyes. “Oh you’re probably
wondering how I know about you and Graham. It was a wild guess that you just
confirmed. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other when you think no one
can see. Everyone looks at him like he is some saint and he isn’t. None of us
are,” he barks in my ear with pure disdain.

This is the moment that it’s going to happen. Every girl’s
worst nightmare is unfolding in front of my eyes and I can’t do anything. I go
to open my mouth to shout, but nothing comes out. I can hear myself crying out
for help. It’s lost somewhere, dangling in the air not being able to find its
release. It’s then that I realize Craig’s hand is trapping my cry for help from
escaping. I’m alone.

Craig trails kisses along my neck while the hand that isn’t
covering my mouth explores the length of my body. I push against his chest with
everything I have. No matter how much I push and scratch my strength’s no match
for his. He has broad shoulders and strong arms that are stopping me from
gaining the leverage I need to escape this hell. It’s hopeless. I’m feeling
hopeless.

I hear the familiar sound of a zipper being lowered and
quickly shut my eyes to endure whatever pain and force Craig is intending to
use against me. Tears betray me as I try to stay strong. They fall down my
cheeks through my clenched eyelids landing on Craig’s sheets. Craig forces his
knee to spread my legs further apart as I try to clench them together as my last
effort at defense. I lose that battle. I manage to weasel one of my hands away
from him as I fight against his chest.

“Quit fighting it, Ken. You’ll like it I promise,” Craig
whispers in my ear.

“Don’t call me Ken,” I manage to force out even though I
know he probably can’t hear me. I don’t want him to taint that along with my
body.

 Reaching above my head I find a shelf full of trophies
knocking them down in hopes to gain someone’s attention. Someone has to hear
the plastic hitting against the walls. I close my eyes and pray not even sure
if I believe in anything in this moment fighting against Craig’s strength
refusing to let him do what he wants to me.

The next thing I know there’s the sound of wood cracking
throughout the room. I close my eyes out of fear of meeting Craig’s stare. Even
with the loud banging I hear to my left, I can’t force myself to open my eyes
to see what’s happening around me. There’s a stirring in the room right before
I feel the pressure above me dissipate. Craig’s body isn’t on me anymore. I can
breathe. 

There’s shouting with a horrifying cracking of bone hitting
bone. My breaths are becoming harder and harder to push out of my lungs as I
replay Craig trying to steal what was never rightfully his. I lay there not
fighting, feeling numb as more and more tears make their decent from my cheek
down onto the pillow that will forever be stained with the fear and pain I
feel.

Kennedy, get up. Just get up before he comes back. GET
YOUR ASS OFF OF THE BED NOW.

Now is when you fight.

I don’t know what’s happening around me. I’m laying here
vulnerable waiting for Craig to finish me off only to discard me as if it
doesn’t matter how he’s treating a defenseless girl who has no strength to
fight back. The noise in my ears is ringing deafening loud---a combination of
me crying, catching my breath, and the glass shattering somewhere in the room.

“If you ever so much as look in her direction again I swear
to god I will fucking kill you,” a strong familiar voice shouts loud enough to
make me cower into a ball on the bed. The voice is muffled as if it’s far
enough away, but I know it’s coming from inside the room. I will my legs to
move, to get out of there. The only thing I want is to escape my nightmare.

Soft hands reach down scooping me up off of the bed. I
flinch at the initial contact until I realize I’m no longer lying in that bed.
I curl into my savior’s chest listening to his heart beat using him as a guide
to get my breathing under control. His scent penetrates my senses letting me
know that everything’s going to be okay. I’m safe now.

I wrap my arms around his neck as the tears fall harder. 

“Ken, listen to me. I’m right here with you. You’re safe
now. Try to take a deep breath for me, baby,” Graham’s voice whispers in my ear
on repeat until we make it outside into the cool of the night. The sharp air
runs over my body causing goose bumps to jump up on every last inch of my body.
I curl in deeper to Graham’s chest looking for refuge.

A car door opens and I’m placed down onto a smooth leather
seat. I reach for the familiar hand refusing to let go. “Please…” I panic not
wanting any distance between us.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I just want to get some
heat pumping into the car to warm you up. I promise, Ken,” Graham brushes his
hand along my tear soaked cheek. He looks devastated as he walks around to the
front of the car pushing the keys in his ignition. The heat quickly forces
through the car as he turns the knob. It only takes a few seconds. The lack of
contact with him makes it unbearable. I need him near me.

“Graham…” I push out in a whisper. He slams the driver’s
side door to run over to slide in next to me in the back seat.

His arms quickly wrap around me sheltering me from
everything that has happened. “Look at me,” Graham demands in the lowest of
whispers.

I do what he asks as he looks me over. Every inch of my skin
is investigated thoroughly. I know what he’s doing---looking for any marks or
proof of what has happened. As his eyes make there decent up my legs slowly
landing on my wrist I can hear his audible gasp. With no need to look at what
he’s seeing I continue to look in his eyes waiting for anything to shine
through. Only pure rage is there quickly replaced with guilt.

“That son of a bitch,” he punches the back of the seat in
front of him making me jump in surprise. Graham quickly panics knowing that his
reaction to my bruises scared me. “Oh god, Kennedy, come here. I’m so sorry.
The last thing you need is me losing my shit in front of you.” He pulls me into
his side tucking me underneath his arm placing comforting kisses on the top of
my head.

“I tried to scream. I did but I didn’t think anyone would
hear me. I thought that I was alone up there. I swear…I tried to scream,” I
confess pushing myself away from him so he can see the seriousness in my eyes
as they well up with another storm of tears. I felt the need to explain myself
as to how hard I had tried to fight. I don’t want Graham to think that I’m weak
or that I went down without a fight.

“I know baby. None of that matters. You’re safe now,” Graham
pulls me into his side where I fit perfectly again. He reaches into his pocket
to grab his cellphone. “I’m calling 911, Kennedy. You need to report him…you
have to report what he’s done.”

“No…no…we can’t. Nothing even happened,” I protest.

“Kennedy, it doesn’t matter if he finished the job. The
whole point is what his intentions were,” Graham tries explaining but I refuse
to hear anything he is saying.

“How’d you know I was in there anyways?” I ask changing the
subject.

“I never left. You just didn’t see me. I didn’t like seeing
how much you were drinking. I stuck around to make sure you would be okay. I
knew I was the last person you wanted around, but I couldn’t leave. I saw Craig
taking you upstairs. I followed you up and just sat outside the room just in
case. I just didn’t want to leave you alone with him,” Graham confesses. I had
a feeling there is more to it than what he’s putting on. His eyes are torn. I
can see how worried he is for me. He wants me to report his best friend, but I
don’t see the point. I’m embarrassed and what could they possibly do? I went up
there with him willingly.

My smile is forced. “Graham, thank you,” I point towards the
house. “…for that.”

“You don’t need to thank me. It should have never happened
Kennedy and if it wasn’t for what I had done with Amanda then it wouldn’t have.
That…that was my fault.” Graham slinks his body forward resting his head in his
hands.

Just like everything else he’s going to put this all on his
shoulders just as he had with the car accident. He may have played a part in
these two misfortunes, but I’m not willing to let him take the full brunt of
the fall.

“Listen to me. This is not your fault. If I hadn’t been hell
bent on making you jealous then I wouldn’t have ended up in Craig’s arms and he
wouldn’t have tried to…he wouldn’t have…” I can’t get the words out to finish
the thought without picturing Craig’s massive body on top of mine. Graham can
feel the tension in my body. He reaches over intertwining his fingers with mine
before kissing the backside of my hand. I can feel his hand shaking next to
mine.