What to Expect the Toddler Years (119 page)

Avoid stereotypes. If you generalize about racial or ethnic groups, even if the generalizations aren’t negative (“Black people are good at basketball” or “Asians are good students”), you risk passing on the message to your child that people can be categorized by
what
they are as a group—instead of
who
they are as individuals. Teach your child to look at people as individuals—not as members of groups. Avoid lumping whole groups together as “those people,” talking about “those kinds of kids,” and labeling people you meet by their ethnic
background, their race, their religious affiliation, or their physical status. If you have family members who frequently stereotype when talking about those of other races or religions, speak to them about keeping their generalities to themselves when they’re around your toddler.

Counteract bigotry when you encounter it. If you and your toddler overhear a racial or religious slur, quietly say, “Some people talk that way, but it’s not right and it can hurt people’s feelings.” If you find your toddler repeating a derogatory comment he or she has overheard, don’t overreact, but don’t ignore it, either. Again, explain that such words are mean and can hurt people.

Check your own biases. It’s not enough to preach tolerance—you should practice it, too. Before you can instill healthy, unbiased attitudes in your toddler, you need to make sure they’re there in you. When children hear ethnic or racial slurs at home (and if slurs are used, children inevitably hear them, whether or not parents think they’re listening) or see that those who are different are not treat ed with respect by their parents, all the brainwashing in the world won’t erase the biases they’ve picked up through osmosis. Examine your attitudes (no one is completely bias-free) and your behavior, and make changes wherever you see room for improvement.

By 2
¹
/
₄
years,
*
your toddler . . . should be able to (see
Note
):

use 50+ single words

combine words (by about 25 months)

follow a 2 step command without gestures (by 25 months)

Note:
If your toddler has not reached these milestones, consult the doctor or nurse-practitioner. This rate of development may well be normal for your child (some children are late bloomers), but it needs to be evaluated. Also check with the doctor if your toddler seems out-of-control or hyperactive; highly demanding, stubborn, negative; overly withdrawn, passive, uncommunicative; sad, joyless; unable to interact and play with others. At this age, children who were born prematurely have usually caught up to their peers.

. . . will probably be able to:

wash and dry hands

jump up

put on an article of clothing

brush teeth, with help

. . . may possibly be able to:

build a tower of 8 cubes

use prepositions