What the Heart Knows (13 page)

“He hears all our prayers. We will get through this.”

Jared squeezed Kathleen's hand, conveying his support.

One tear slipped down Hannah's cheek. “I don't like storms. Why does it have to rain so hard?”

“Honey, I don't like storms, either.” Jared brushed away his daughter's tear.

Hannah shuddered when another loud clap of thunder pierced their haven, reminding them of the storm that raged outside.

“Come on. I've got a great hand, and I bet I'll win this game,” Kathleen said. “Terry, why don't you go first?”

As the young boy began to play, Kathleen offered up another silent prayer that everything would be all right. Not five minutes later the tornado siren stopped. For a long moment no one said anything as
though they all waited to see if the siren would start again.

“Do you think it's safe now?” Mark asked, laying his cards down in front of him, the game forgotten.

“I'm sure it is. You all stay here while I go out and check.” Jared moved to the door.

“Dad!” Hannah's high-pitched voice cut into the silence. “Don't.”

“We can't stay in here.” Jared cracked the door open. “I don't hear anything. Even the rain has abated some.”

He started out when Hannah added, “Be careful.”

Jared closed them in the storage room. Again no one spoke. Hannah chewed on her bottom lip, her gaze riveted to the door. Two minutes later her father reappeared, throwing open the door.

“I think everything is fine. I looked outside in front and no houses had any damage except some tree branches down in the yards.”

As they exited the small room under the staircase, the lights flickered on then off then on again. The warm glow emanating from the kitchen drew Kathleen toward it. In spite of the storm, she was amazed at how well the evening had gone. They had felt like a blended family, having an adventure, making the best of a difficult situation. Dare she dream of more?

 

Kathleen stood next to Jared in the church parking lot and surveyed the storm damage. There was a nip in the air from a cool front that had pushed through with the rain. The night before their church hadn't fared as well as she and her neighbors. The yard and
gardens surrounding it were littered with tree branches and leaves. Some plants were uprooted and debris cluttered the area. One small oak had split and fallen on a swing set. A white pine had crashed into a window in one of the classrooms and rainwater covered the floor.

“There's a lot of work to be done,” Kathleen murmured as other parishioners arrived to help clean up the mess.

“It could have been worse.” Jared reached into his car and began to unload some of his tools he'd brought.

Kathleen took a rake and a shovel from him. “Some of the towns around here weren't as lucky as Crystal Springs.”

“Thankfully the damage is to property and no one was hurt from the two tornadoes.”

“How's Hannah doing today?” Kathleen noticed the young girl with some other children taking trash bags to pick up the litter.

“Since the sky is cloudless, much better. She's been scared of thunderstorms all her life. When she was five, we had a bad storm with several tornadoes that came through this area. A couple of people were hurt. One was our neighbor. She never got over it.”

“To tell you the truth if it hadn't been for the children you would have seen my panic, too.”

“Believe it or not, Hannah was better last night than she usually is. As I've said before, you're a good influence on her.” Jared watched Mark take a garbage bag and begin to tidy up his area of the churchyard. “How's Mark's therapy?”

“The doctor is pleased with his progress. We caught his illness early, which is good. Mark even told me this morning that he'll play for the children at the hospital. He's starting to practice on his guitar again.”

Jared began walking toward the children's playground. “The volunteer program is really picking up. In the morning you have the ladies of the church volunteering and in the afternoon the teenagers. Not bad for only doing it six weeks.”

“It seems everyone wanted to volunteer, but no one wanted to volunteer to coordinate it. I like organizing things.” A flush of pride took hold of Kathleen. She enjoyed her volunteer job because she was good at it and she still had time to be there for Mark when he needed her.

“You have quite a knack for it.”

“Well, thank you, kind sir. It's nice to use my talent for a worthy cause.”

For the next few hours Kathleen worked alongside Jared cleaning up the playground before moving to the garden where Mark and Terry were. The young boy held the leaf bag open as Mark scooped up the debris and put it inside. Kathleen was glad to see that Terry wasn't afraid of Mark anymore.

“Do you really mean it? You'll show me how to play the guitar?” Terry asked Mark, following him to another pile of leaves and branches.

“Sure. Why not? Next time you're over I'll give you your first lesson.”

Terry caught sight of his father. “Can we visit Mark and Kathleen today after we finish here?”

“Son, you shouldn't invite yourself over to other people's houses.”

Terry's face fell. “But, Dad, Mark says he'll teach me to play the guitar.”

“Terry, you can come over anytime it's okay with your father.” Kathleen leaned close to Jared and lowered her voice, “I have a pot of chili on and you and your family are welcome to share it with us this evening.”

With his blue eyes gleaming, Jared angled his head so he could look straight into her face. “Mrs. Davis has been complaining we aren't home enough to eat her cooking. But I won't turn down a pot of homemade chili even for the sake of keeping my housekeeper happy.”

“Good. Then it's settled. After we finish here, give me an hour to clean up and then come on over.”

Jared's gaze skimmed down her length, the gleam brightening. “You look fine just the way you are.”

She was aware of Mark and Terry listening now to their conversation. The heat of a blush flamed her cheeks. She twisted about so her back was to the boys. “It may be cooler since the storm yesterday, but I promise you I have worked up a sweat.”

Jared started to reply when Terry cut in. “Dad, does this mean we're going to eat at their house tonight?”

Without taking his gaze off her, Jared said, “Yes.”

A loud yippee punctuated the air followed by Terry racing toward the parking lot, yelling back, “I'm gonna tell Hannah.”

“I think you've made my family happy.” He bent toward her until only inches separated them. “And you've made me happy.”

Her stomach did a flip-flop. His nearness produced a quickening pace of her heartbeat. She realized in that moment that next to her son, Jared and his children were the most important people in her life. She wanted to be the cause of their joy. Jared had struggled for years, giving of himself to others and his children. He deserved some happiness in his life. Maybe she was the one to bring him that.

In the past few months she had discovered what she wanted most in life was to be a wife and mother. For a time she had lost her identity after John's death, but that was only because she was trying to be someone different—to put some distance between her old life and her new one. Denying what made her happy, though, caused her situation to be worse. She wasn't going to do that anymore.

She and Jared had settled into a comfortable relationship since the beginning of school. She didn't have to rely on him as she had done in the summer when she was at such a loss with Mark and his illness. Jared had given her the means to tackle her problems on her own and for that she would always be grateful. Now she wanted to help him as he had her—if he would allow her into his heart completely.

 

After placing a folder on her desk at the hospital, Kathleen turned to leave her office. The bright sunshine streaming through her window drew her. She looked out at the garden below, some of the trees
bare, some with their leaves colored orange, red and yellow.

November would be here in a couple of days. In a few weeks she'd have been back in Crystal Springs for six months. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. She'd met Jared and her life had taken a turn for the better. Her son was recovering, getting some of his life back. There were days when he seemed almost as normal as before. She owed her new outlook on life to her renewed faith in the Lord and to Jared.

A male cardinal with his mate landed on a bare branch of a maple tree. His vivid red stood out against the brown landscape like a ray of hope. As she watched the pair fly off, she knew she would be all right, that the Lord was with her even through the rough times. She had abandoned him, but He hadn't abandoned her. With Jared's help, though, she'd re-discovered the power of His love.

A rap at her door, then Jared opening it and sticking his head into her office pulled her away from her musings. “I'm coming. I wouldn't miss this for the world.” Kathleen hurried toward Jared.

“The kids have everything set up. The patients are in place.”

“Great. I hope everything goes all right with Mark's performance.”

Jared grasped her hand, linking his fingers through hers. “It will. His medicine seems to be working. He's doing well in his therapy. This will be good for him.”

Kathleen started down the hall toward the rec
room on the pediatrics floor. “I hope so. It was his idea.”

In the room, children in wheelchairs, on crutches and even one in a portable bed waited for the first act to begin. The teenagers from the youth group had worked up a show for them. Mark was the third performer. Kathleen barely registered the first two teenagers at the front of the crowded rec room.

Then Mark came out and stood before the twenty people in the audience. He smiled tentatively and sat on a stool, positioning his guitar in his lap. Staring at his hands, he began to play “Eleanor Rigby” by the Beatles. Rigid in her chair, Kathleen held her breath through the first verse. By the second verse she forced herself to take deep breaths, clasping her hands tightly together. Toward the end of the song Mark missed a chord. He stopped. Fear pounded in her chest. She started to rise to go to him when he began to play again, picking up where he left off. She released a long sigh. When Mark finished the last note, she collapsed back against the chair, prying her fingers apart to clap.

“He did great,” Jared whispered as Mark took his bows midst the loud applause. One patient blew a piercing whistle. Mark reddened, then left the impromptu stage.

“Yes, he did,” she murmured, the tension siphoning out of her. She felt like a wet noodle.

While the rest of the teenagers continued to perform, she slipped out of the room to find Mark. He stood at the window at the end of the hallway, staring down at the street.

“Mark?”

Her son didn't turn or say anything.

She stepped closer and asked, “Mark, are you all right?”

He flinched and whirled about. “I didn't hear you.” His face screwed into a frown.

“What's wrong?” Worry surged to the foreground.

Her son shook his head, his frown dissipating. “Nothing. I'm just tired. I've been practicing a lot lately. I didn't want to mess up.”

“You were great. The patients loved you.”

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Honey, there's no guessing about it. Did you hear their applause?”

“Applause? Yes, their applause.” Mark clutched his old guitar to his chest. “Let's go home. I'm hungry.”

“We could get something at the diner across the street. I bet they still have some of their doughnuts you like so much.”

“No, I want to go home.” Mark started down the hall toward the elevator.

Kathleen watched him shuffle, her concern increasing. Jared came out into the corridor and said something to Mark as he passed him. Her son stopped at the elevator and turned to wait for her.

She paused by Jared and said in a lowered voice, “He says he's tired so I'm taking him home.”

“If you need me, all you have to do is call.”

“I know. Thanks.” Kathleen offered him a smile
before heading toward her son who leaned against the wall, his gaze boring a hole into the floor by his feet.

Maybe Mark had done too much too fast. She had to remember it wasn't quite four months ago that her son was diagnosed with schizophrenia and stress and tension could aggravate it.

At the elevator she glanced back at Jared, his warm gaze intent on her. He had been there for her and her son from the beginning. His unselfishness and compassion had touched the cold core about her heart and melted it. As she stepped onto the elevator and waited for the doors to swish closed, she realized she loved Dr. Jared Matthews, that she wanted to be his wife and mother to his children.

“I
'll have my cell phone with me, Mark. If you need me for anything, call. I've written the number down by the phone as well as Aunt Laura's and Grandma's.”

“I know their numbers. I'm not a baby. I'm fine, Mom.” With a dour expression, Mark opened the refrigerator and inspected its contents. Finally he chose an apple to eat and closed the door. Taking a bite, he added, “Really.”

“I know. The doctor has been pleased.” After he had played at the hospital the week before, she had made sure he had gone to his therapy session with Dr. Martins to make sure everything was all right.

“See. What have I been telling you. It's not like you haven't left me alone before. I'm sixteen. I can stay by myself.”

“Okay. I'll stop worrying,” Kathleen said, even though she knew in her heart that would be impossible.

Mark grinned. “That'll be the day.” He bit into the apple again.

Kathleen stepped out into the middle of the kitchen and did a turn, the soft silk dress billowing about her knees. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful, Mom. Green is your best color.”

Mark tossed the half-eaten apple into the trash can, then began rummaging through the pantry. Kathleen noticed his favorite shirt needed a button and several new stains donned the front. She started to say something when the doorbell rang.

Mark grabbed some cookies and said, “I'm out of here.”

Kathleen answered the door as her son pounded up the stairs as though he were a member of an elephant herd. She greeted Jared with a smile.

“Everything okay?” One of his brows rose at the sound of Mark's door slamming closed.

“Just Mark being his usual graceful self. He's growing so fast sometimes I wonder if he knows what to do with his arms and legs. He—” Kathleen's voice trailed off into silence as Jared produced a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back.

“For me?” she asked, more in wonderment than in query.

“Are there any other ladies living here?”

She shook her head, her throat contracting at the gesture. “How did you know yellow roses were my favorite flowers?” She took them from his outstretched hand, cradling them to her while smelling their sweet fragrance.

“A certain young man who is all arms and legs told me.”

She remembered the special occasions John would bring her yellow roses. After he had died, she hadn't thought she would ever receive them again from a man—a man she had come to love dearly.

“May I come in?”

She laughed, realizing she blocked the entrance. Stepping to the side, she took another deep breath, the roses perfuming the air.

Jared strode into the living room without another word.

Puzzled, Kathleen followed. “Don't we have to be at the hospital soon?”

“Yes, but I wanted to talk to you in private before we go. Why don't you put the flowers in some water first?”

“Fine. I'll be right back.” Kathleen hurried into the kitchen and found a crystal vase.

After filling it with water, she unwrapped the cellophane from around the bouquet and began to arrange the flowers in the vase. Something caught the light and glittered. She searched the roses and discovered a diamond ring, square-shaped, tied to a thornless stem. With quivering fingers, she loosened the yellow ribbon and nestled the beautiful one-carat diamond ring in her palm. She shook so much she had to steady her hand with her other one.

“Will you marry me, Kathleen Somers?”

His deep, rich voice penetrated the quiet of the kitchen. With tears welling in her eyes, she spun about. One tear rolled down her cheek as she offered
him a smile. Her throat was so tight all she could do was nod.

Jared covered the space between them in three quick strides and drew her into his arms. “I love you and I want you to be in my life, in my children's lives.”

Tears of joy continued to flow as she stared at the beautiful ring cradled in her hand. “I wasn't expecting this.”

“From the beginning I knew you were special. Getting to know you these past months has only reconfirmed that feeling. Hannah and Terry think the world of you. Their father does, too.”

She lifted her gaze to his and saw in his expression the love he talked about. “I never thought it was possible to be so lucky twice in my life. After my husband died, I had resigned myself to living alone. You have changed all that.”

Jared took the ring and slipped it on her left hand, then framed her face. When his lips settled over hers, all her love went into the kiss. It was as though a choir of angels surrounded them, their voices raised in glorious song.

When he pulled back, he combed his fingers through her short hair. “We have a lot to talk about, but right now we have a banquet to go to. If I wasn't being honored as the doctor of the year, I'd rather stay right here kissing you.”

That thought sent a delicious streak down her length. “But since you are, we'd better get going. We wouldn't want anyone to worry that you weren't going to show up.”

Jared chuckled, hooking his arm about her shoulder. “I did threaten Dr. Curtis that I wouldn't.”

“You should feel honored the hospital is naming you doctor of the year.”

“I am. But I told Dr. Curtis all they had to do was give me a plaque for my office.”

“To go with the other two you've received.”

“Mrs. Somers, I do think you are trying to get me to blush.”

Kathleen glanced up at his flushed cheeks. “I think it's working.”

“Yes, well, I'm going to tell everyone it's because of the crisp, fall air.” He opened her front door.

Outside Kathleen took a deep breath of that crisp, fall air. Someone had a fire going to grill steaks. Her mouth watered. “I'm hungry. I hope they have all the speeches after we eat.”

“Of course, and mine will be blessedly short.”

“The masses have come to hear you speak on the future of medicine. You can't disappoint us.” Kathleen slid into the front seat of Jared's car.

Jared laughed. “The masses are coming for a free dinner.”

When Jared settled behind the steering wheel, Kathleen said, “You have underestimated your appeal, Dr. Matthews.”

He clasped her hand. “Tonight is special because you have agreed to be my wife.”

For a few seconds Kathleen allowed her doubts to invade her mind. Did he love her or the idea of her as his children's mother? Was it fair to saddle him with Mark and his chronic illness? Then she looked
at his handsome profile and shook the doubts from her thoughts, determined not to let anything spoil her evening.

 

Jared finished his short speech with a humble thank you. Rising, Kathleen joined in the loud applause that filled the banquet room. From the dais she scanned the audience and saw the same genuine appreciation for Jared's accomplishments that she felt. After taking the plaque, Jared shook Dr. Curtis's hand then made his way back to his seat next to her.

“Let's get out of here,” he whispered.

“I do believe you're blushing again, Dr. Matthews.”

“It's the heat in this room. They must have the furnace cranked up real high.”

“I'm quite comfortable.”

“I bet you are. You didn't have to get up in front of seventy-five people and make a speech.”

“Anyone who can handle twenty-five rowdy teenagers can handle a small crowd of seventy-five.” Kathleen gathered her shawl and beaded purse.

“Speak for yourself.” He touched the small of her back to guide her off the dais.

They began to make their way to the back of the room, but at every table Jared had to stop to acknowledge congratulations. Everyone wanted to talk to him, adding their pleasure at his engagement when they saw the ring on Kathleen's finger. She found herself blushing at the compliments they received, as bad as Jared about being the center of attention.

When they finally escaped the banquet room, Jared
retrieved their overcoats from his office and helped Kathleen into hers. “I promised Terry and Hannah I would bring you by tonight. We don't have to stay long, but they wanted to see the ring on your finger.”

“So did everyone know about you proposing tonight but me?”

“Mrs. Miller saw me at the jewelry store buying the ring today. I knew I had to act fast when I couldn't evade her questions about what I was doing. I had planned to take you out sailing and propose then.”

Kathleen halted her progress to his car, facing him. “I wouldn't trade the way you proposed for anything.”

“Still I'm surprised you didn't hear before I arrived. Your sister called me up and questioned me before I left to pick you up.”

“Laura knows?”

“As well as your parents.”

“I guess I'll have to call them when I get home.”

“They're waiting for a call, no matter how late you come home. They made me promise you would call them.”

In his car she said, “I love being the last person to find out something.”

“Blame Mrs. Miller. She's the worst gossiper I know.”

“And a good friend of my mother's. I'm sure she hurried home and called up Mom.”

“I think that's how Laura told me she found out—from your mother.” Jared pulled out of the parking lot. “Crystal Springs isn't a small town, but it's not
a large city, either. I sometimes forget how close-knit the community is.”

Ten minutes later Jared stopped in his driveway and rounded the front of his car to open the passenger door for Kathleen. He took her hand and held it while walking up the steps to his door. Before he had a chance to put his key in the lock, Hannah threw the door open.

“You said yes?” the young girl asked, an eager expression on her face.

Smiling, Kathleen nodded.

Leaping into the air, Terry cheered behind Hannah.

Hannah flung herself at Kathleen, her arms winding around her in a hug that threatened to overwhelm Kathleen in its enthusiasm. “I'm so glad. I just knew you would. Dad is the best.”

“I agree.” Kathleen peered at Jared, the gleam in his eyes seizing her in its depth. Just from a mere look she felt her insides go all mushy.

Hannah tugged Kathleen into the house. “I want to see the ring on your finger.” She grabbed Kathleen's hand and lifted it toward the light so that her brother could see, too. “It's beautiful. I got to help Dad.”

The thought of Hannah shopping for a wedding ring with Jared dissolved any reservations she might have had. She'd always wanted a larger family and now she would have it. She couldn't ask for nicer children than Hannah and Terry. Everything would work itself out.

“I must say both you and your father have great taste.”

Terry clasped her other hand. “We made a cake to celebrate. Come on.” He began pulling her toward the kitchen.

Kathleen glanced back at Jared who shrugged and said, “I didn't know anything about this.”

“It's a surprise for both of you.” Hannah took her father's hand. “Mrs. Davis didn't even help us. I promised her I would clean up before she went to her room to watch TV.”

When Kathleen entered the kitchen, she stopped dead in her tracks, stunned. The room was spotless and the only evidence that anything had been made was the chocolate cake sitting in the middle of the table. Her eyes filled with tears at the sweet gesture from Jared's two children.

“I don't know what to say.” Kathleen swallowed several times. “Thank you, Hannah and Terry. This is the nicest thing you could have done for me.”

She slanted a look toward Jared who was as surprised as she was. He didn't say anything. She could tell by his watery eyes and deep inhalations that he was having a hard time controlling his emotions as well.

“Come on. Cut the cake. I want some.” Terry dragged Kathleen toward the table where a knife and four small plates sat next to the cake.

“So do I.” Even though Kathleen tried not to have too many sweets, there was no way she wouldn't eat some of this cake.

After slicing four pieces and putting them on the
plates, she handed one to Terry then Hannah. She saved the last one for Jared who moved slowly to the table and sat next to her.

Composed now, he cut his first bite and brought it to his mouth. “Mmm. Delicious. This is the best cake I've ever tasted.”

“Oh, Dad, you're just saying that.” Hannah delved into her piece and had half the cake gone in two minutes.

Terry didn't bother to say a word. He was too busy eating. When he was finished, he looked up and asked, “Can I have another piece?” His chin was smeared with chocolate icing.

Kathleen gave him a napkin while she sliced him another small section. “I have to agree with your dad. This is great. I'd like to take some home for Mark. Is that okay?” she asked Hannah.

The young girl nodded, her mouth full of cake. She went to a drawer and removed some foil, then cut a big slice for Mark and wrapped it up.

For a minute everyone sat at the table, staring at the half-eaten cake, not saying a word. The feeling of family permeated the room, Kathleen's heart swelling with the knowledge that soon they would all be a family.

She sighed. “Speaking of Mark, I'd better get home. I told him I would be back by ten.”

“And you two need to clean this up, then get to bed.” Jared rose.

“Do we have to? This is a special occasion.” Hannah's mouth curved down in a pout.

“Yes. This may be Saturday, but we have church tomorrow.”

Hannah grumbled but stood. Terry ran his finger down the knife to get off some of the chocolate cake stuck on the blade, then popped the sweet lump into his mouth, making a loud smacking noise.

“I'll be back soon. I expect you two to be tucked snug in your beds.”

Hannah turned the water on as Kathleen and Jared left the kitchen, Kathleen holding the piece of cake for Mark as though it was a treasure.