What Matters Most (23 page)

Josh nodded once then tenderly kissed the older man. “If you’re not coming back with me when I leave tomorrow, then you’d better come back to me soon. We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

Nick’s smile was so joyous Josh could only smile back like some sappy lovestruck fool—which he knew he was. Nick pulled him up to his feet then wrapped his arms around Josh’s waist and dragged him down to the bed. “I promise, I won’t be any longer than I have to be.” He reached down and cupped Josh’s hardening cock, leering in a way Josh

wholeheartedly approved of. “Now, about making up for lost time…”

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Nothing had ever felt as wrong as watching Josh wave goodbye before boarding the plane. Nick’s nerve endings kept flitting hot and cold, his muscles clenched against the need to run after Josh and grab him. Yeah, that’d go over great with airport security. Besides, he knew Josh had a life to get back to. Hopefully his lover would make a place for him in it.

My lover.
Those two words didn’t seem enough to describe what Josh was to him, yet they thrilled him to his core. He hadn’t known he was capable of feeling so much, but Josh brought out a myriad of emotions that made Nick’s future—
their
future—full of so much hope and love, Nick’s perception of the world had been altered. The cynicism that had been an almost depressing voice in his head had been almost completely silenced, and for the first time in his life, Nick felt as if
he
had a purpose. He wasn’t just a means to an end for his mother, a way for her to hold on to a man who even in death meant everything to her. It was well past time to start living for himself, and as Nick watched the plane taxi down the runway, he knew that regardless of what happened to him and Josh in the future, he’d been forever altered by his love for this one man.

He would, however, do everything in his power to make sure his future and Josh’s were entwined for the rest of their lives. Nick hadn’t believed in happy endings before, but he did now, and he wanted his with Josh. And he
would
have it.

Nick left the airport, his resolve only strengthening the closer he got to the Mossy Glenn. There’d be a fight as soon as he pulled up, he knew. He hadn’t been back since he’d chased Josh down, and the phone calls from his mother had been numerous. Nick had simply switched off his cell, only turning it on to check in with his foreman, Carlos, something he should do again before the shit hit the fan.

Powering on the cell phone, Nick tried to organise his thoughts but failed. He knew the coming confrontation would most likely be the end of his relationship with his mother, but he couldn’t imagine it. His phone beeped, the home screen showing he had voice mail.

Nick didn’t bother checking any of them, instead dialling Carlos’s number.

Carlos’s deep accented voice came over the line after the first ring. “Morning Boss.

Your mama is fit to be tied.”

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Nick snorted and shoved down the trickle of dread teasing at his spine. “I bet. I’m on my way back, but…” How much should he say? Carlos seemed trustworthy, always

following Nick’s orders rather than his mother’s when she tried to interfere, but he didn’t really know the man. Nick decided to exercise caution. No doubt everyone at the ranch would find out what happened after he left anyway. “I’m on my way back now. You might want to keep everyone out in the pastures or whatever, because it’s gonna get ugly.”

Carlos grunted. “How bad? You want me to maybe stay close?”

Nick frowned, trying to figure out why the man would think that necessary. “I’m not gonna hurt her, Carlos. I know you don’t know me well, but I’m not that kind of asshole.”

“Nah,” Carlos said after chuckling, “It’s more your hide I’m worried about. Your mama may be little, but she,” Carlos cursed then sighed noisily, the sound nearly rattling Nick’s eardrum. “Look, maybe I’m wrong here, maybe you’ll fire me, but I think you’re leaving anyway, right?”

“Why would you think that?” Nick asked, a little startled at his foreman’s

perceptiveness.

“You been gone for days, and you weren’t happy here, and you’re mama…” Carlos

muttered something Nick couldn’t understand. “She’s hell bent to go after you. I don’t know if she’s, uh, violent, when she gets this way.”

Nick didn’t know either since he usually gave in and let the woman have her way, but he wasn’t worried about her hurting him. Physically, at least.

“She won’t do anything other than rant and yell and disown me. Just keep everyone far enough away they won’t hear the shouting and bad names she’s likely to hurl.”

“Ahh. You are leaving, right?”

“Why does it matter?” It wasn’t as if he was close to anyone at the Mossy Glenn.

Carlos didn’t answer and Nick thought the call was dropped before the man finally gave another noisy sigh. “’Cause I don’t particularly want to work for your mama, Nick. She isn’t a pleasant woman, excuse me for saying so.”

No shit.
“Yeah, well she’s about to get even more unpleasant. I’ll be there in about half an hour.”

“I’ll clear out everyone except your mama and me.”

Nick didn’t understand the man’s concern, and he didn’t feel like trying to parse out the cause. “Carlos, I told you—”

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Carlos laughed softly as Nick sputtered. “I know you did, but what you gonna do?

Fire me? Nah, I won’t be right there, but I
will
be close by, just in case.”

Nick agreed because it wasn’t worth arguing about, not when he was going to be

leaving the ranch behind. Worrying about what Carlos might overhear wasn’t a priority.

Getting back to Josh was.

Josh closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Flying wasn’t his favourite thing, but any fear he might have normally felt was trampled by the fear that leaving Nick behind might backfire on him. He believed Nick loved him, but did he love him
enough
? Nick would be giving up everything for Josh, and that, too, caused more than a little fear. What if he wasn’t enough for Nick? Or what if they didn’t work out? Josh was the first man Nick had been with; what if one day Nick wanted to sample a few other men, see what the world had to offer? That’d be the only way they would end. Josh knew his heart was firmly in Nick’s hands. Now he needed to find the strength to believe in Nick, because fears such as the ones he was entertaining could eat away at any trust between them.

Josh wished he could talk to Annabelle, but truthfully, he wasn’t comfortable doing so, not yet. She hadn’t properly met Nick, hadn’t got to know the man inside that Josh had come to love. Her opinion on the whole thing might be skewered by her loyalty to him. Josh didn’t blame her for it. Annabelle’s loyalty was one of the things he loved about her.

He shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. His arm was bumped off the armrest and he opened his eyes to look at the person in the seat beside him. A man he could only describe as mountainous stared back, his bald head shiny on top and one auburn eyebrow cocked up belligerently. Josh noted the tight smile the man gave him and decided the arm rest wasn’t worth the battle. He closed his eyes and turned his head away, determined to use the rest of the flight to work on his doubts and fears.

It wasn’t long until he concluded that, while understandable, his fears were likely unfounded. Nick was giving up everything just to be with him. That wasn’t something someone who wasn’t fully committed to him would do. He needed to get over the past hurts and concentrate on the future. Nick would need a job. Josh couldn’t imagine the man WHAT MATTERS MOST

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lounging around all day watching
Jersey Shore
. Maybe he could ask Justin to check around and—

“Whu…” Josh’s eyes shot open and about bugged out of his head as fingers traced up the inside seam of his jeans from right above his knee, unhesitatingly headed for his cock.

“Hey!” He swatted at the hand, the really really big hand, then glared at the owner when the man didn’t take his hand away.

“You’re really cute,” the bald man said, leaning close to whisper the words against Josh’s ear. “And I know you’re gay, haven’t been wrong yet—”

“Well you’re wrong now, asshole,” Josh sniped, grabbing the man’s hand with both of his.

The man looked so shocked Josh nearly laughed. He frowned, his brows drawing

together to meet above his nose. “You’re not gay?” Intense green eyes clashed with Josh’s.

“I am,” Josh hissed, finally dislodging the man’s hand. “That doesn’t mean I’m

interested.” He slapped the man’s hand hard, temper piqued enough that he wasn’t able to be afraid of retaliation. “Go grope a flight attendant. Maybe then your freakishly huge ass will land up in jail. Pretty sure you can find someone to fuck there.”

The other passenger looked dumbfounded for a second before he burst out laughing loud enough to have half the people on board turning to watch them. “I’d rather have you, but I can take a hint.” He folded his hands together and fluttered long lashes at Josh. “See?

I’ll keep ‘em to myself the rest of the flight, unless…”

“Don’t even think about it.” Josh tried to keep glaring, but the bigger man’s lips twitched and his eyes danced with amusement that Josh suspected at his expense. “Were you really coming on to me?”

The man shrugged then winked. “Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I just got tired of all the heartfelt sighing and mooning you’ve been doing. I couldn’t decide whether I should be depressed or envious. So,” he tipped his square chin at Josh and gave him a calculating look.

“Which is it? Heartbreak or true love? C’mon, you can tell me. It’s doubtful you’ll ever see me again.”

Josh considered it for a moment. “Why not? Maybe you’re smarter than you look and you can contribute something useful.”

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“Oh I doubt that,” the man said after another outburst of laughter, “but maybe I can relax and enjoy the flight once you chill out. I’m telling you, you’re giving off some seriously stressful vibes, man.”

“Geez, I would get seated beside a gropey hippy,” Josh muttered, only now noticing the tie dyed shirt with the big peace symbol in the middle of it.

“I prefer new age guru. Now talk and let Guru Jack help guide your life.”

God, this was the weirdest flight of his life—but, Josh had to admit by the time the plane stopped for his first layover, he did feel a lot better about his relationship with Nick.

He waved bye to his weird friend and headed to his terminal, eager for the next stage in his relationship with Nick to begin. Maybe there was something to Guru Jack after all.

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As Nick pulled into the dirt driveway leading to the house he couldn’t quite keep back a shudder. He’d spent most of his life following whatever dictates his mother laid before him. It seemed eerily symbolic now to be on a path leading straight to her and the place that symbolised, to her, the culmination of all her dreams. To Nick it was a burden, a hateful one at that. Ian Calhoun hadn’t given a shit about him, had only left him the ranch as a way to hurt Rory and Annabelle. Guilt he hadn’t known he bore pricked at him. Whether his half siblings ended up liking him or not, Nick didn’t want to be a pawn in Calhoun’s game anymore.

The two story white house stood out vividly against the bright blue sky. Black

shudders framed the numerous windows and the wide porch had several chairs scattered on it giving the place a homey look. But it wasn’t home, and looks were often deceptive.
Except
for Josh’s.
Nick couldn’t help but smile, picturing his dark-haired loved in his mind. Josh looked like a sweet, happy young man—until his bright eyes darkened with need and those full lips parted or kicked up in a sultry grin. Either way, now that Nick knew what to look for, it was easy to read Josh’s emotions in his expressive face. Josh was, he knew, the most honest and decent person he’d met, and Nick hoped to be more like him, or at least be a better man, one who might someday be good enough for Josh.

The screen door opened and Carlos stepped outside as Nick neared the house. Even from here, Nick could see the way the other man’s lips were thinned, his body tensed. Nick parked the truck right beside the porch, something else his mother would bitch at him for.

She didn’t like vehicles too close to the house, saying it made the place look trashy and it tore up the yard. Well, maybe it did, but Nick wasn’t going to make himself walk any further than necessary. He’d prefer to leave quickly, and the short walk wouldn’t give his mother as much time to yell at him once he told her he was done with the ranch.

Carlos met him as soon as Nick got out of the truck. His grey eyes flicked a worried glance at Nick and a frown furrowed his brow. “She’s waiting in the kitchen. Lots of sharp objects in there.”

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Nick started to pop off some sarcastic comment until he realised Carlos was really concerned about Antonia becoming violent. He gripped his foreman’s shoulder and shook his head. “She won’t do anything other than yell and tell me what a horrible son I am. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” Although this time, it’d be worse. He wasn’t going to cave in to her demands like he almost always did, so the yelling, on her part, would undoubtedly include more than a few Spanish curse words. Antonia wouldn’t curse in English, but when she was angry enough, the woman could let fly some Spanish slurs that would curl your toes.

Carlos didn’t look convinced as he turned to walk beside Nick up to the house. “I don’t know, I’ve never seen her like this. She completely went ballistic when you didn’t come home the first night. I never heard someone who looks so sweet and delicate say stuff like she did.” Carlos glanced at him then shrugged. “Well, if you’re really leaving, then I’m not going to worry about you firing me. I won’t stay here with that woman. She isn’t right in the head, and she’s got more hate and anger in that little body than I’d have ever thought possible.”