What Matters Most (22 page)

“Hey!” Josh squealed, nearly kneeing Nick in the face as he dove onto the bed. He landed straddling Josh’s legs and shoved both hands under the man’s ass before Josh could stop him.

“Nice,” Nick said, taking his time to feel Josh’s smooth skin. His gaze was drawn to the hairless groin and he frowned as he tried to figure out how to ask what he wanted to without seeming presumptuous.

“You don’t like it?”

Nick looked up at Josh’s quiet question. The younger man was frowning, his eyes almost shut in that way he had of trying to hide. Nick could only guess that it was insecurity he heard in Josh’s voice. He could read nothing in Josh’s blank expression.

“I think it’s sexy,” Nick answered, watching Josh as closely as he was watching his words. “If you like it, then do it. I happen to think you’re sexy like you were when I touched you in your apartment.” He wasn’t surprised when Josh stiffened at the reminder of that shitty day, but Nick wasn’t going to let the man withdraw. “I just didn’t know if you’d rather I—shave?—like that, too. I would, if that’s what you like. Probably cut one of my nuts off, but I’d still do it.”

Josh’s eyes shot open, no more hiding. Nick was thrilled. “No, no don’t do that! I like all your hair!”

“Whatever you want,” Nick murmured, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.

“Same goes for you, though. You do what you want about this.” Nick pulled one hand out from beneath Josh’s ass and stroked the smooth groin. If forced, he’d admit he loved the satiny skin, but he knew he’d love pulling at the dark strands that would grow back in, too.

Josh propped himself up on his elbows and glared at his bare groin. “My exes all preferred me like this.”

And that was reason enough for Nick not to. He almost said as much, but he didn’t want to be another man telling Josh what to do with his body. “But what do
you
like?”

Cheeks pinking slightly, Josh reached under his butt and shoved at Nick’s hand. “I’d
like
you to fuck me sometime very soon,” he said as he pulled the lube from under his hip.

“Very soon means within the next minute or less, by the way.”

WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

131

“I can do that.” Nick tore open the condom package and covered his cock. Josh poured a dollop of lube in Nick’s hand before reaching down to coat his hole. Nick got his first look at that part of Josh and something short circuited in his brain. “Lemme.”

Josh slapped away the hand Nick offered. “No way. I’ll come. Next time, okay?”

Nick didn’t know if Josh was even aware that he’d just promised there’d be more than tonight between them, but Nick was. It thrilled him to hear such things slipping from Josh’s lips. Josh pulled his hand from between his legs and wiped it on the sheet. Nick stared down at that tiny little hole. It looked pink and wrinkly and as small as it did in the first place.

“Josh, is it supposed to look like a closed camera shutter?” Nick dipped his head down for a closer look. “I don’t think I could get a toothpick up here even.”

Josh snorted and that tight pucker winked. Nick’s cock leapt with the promise of something tight and hot and silky encapsulating it. “It’ll fit. I don’t want to be stretched first.

I… I really like the stretch and burn but—” Josh pointed at Nick’s cock. “Go slow with that thing. I like the
burn
not a sudden surge of agony—wait!”

Nick hadn’t done anything other than stare and doubt, so waiting wasn’t problematic, especially not after the fear of causing Josh agony had been implanted in Nick’s mind.

“You can fuck me harder and faster like this,” Josh said, rolling to his stomach and tucking his knees under him. He lowered his shoulders to the mattress and pillowed his head with his forearms. “Have at me, stud.”

“How can such a cheesy line put me a stroke from coming?” Nick watched the

opening as he scooted closer, his hands drawn to the taut ass cheeks.

“You
are
a stud, so it isn’t cheesy.” Josh wriggled his butt temptingly.

Nick parted Josh’s cheeks with both hands and felt such a strong desire to lick down the man’s crease, but surely that was twisted? Nick wasn’t going to risk scaring Josh off by doing such a thing. Really? Lick another man’s ass? Nick shut down that train of thought.

His internal scoffing was failing miserably; he wanted to lick every part of Josh, including that wrinkled swirl of skin. Especially that wrinkled swirl of skin.

“Nick, come on, please,” Josh begged, pushing his butt out and up.

“I’ve got you,” Nick murmured, daring to kiss a taut globe. Nothing horrible

happened, Josh didn’t scream and call him a pervert, so Nick tried it again, humming his approval as soon as Josh’s flavour hit his tongue. Nick didn’t tarry any longer than that, not WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

132

with the desperate whimpering sounds Josh was making. Nick lined his tip up with Josh’s hole and slowly began pressing in, watching Josh closely.

Josh opened the one eye Nick could see, pinning him with that gaze. “Sometimes I like the pain. Not the heavy duty canes and whips, but the softer pain given by a lover which actually heightens the pleasure.”

Kind of like how Nick had loved having his nipples twisted and bitten so hard he thought the little nubs might come off. “I understand.” He canted his hips and sank in deeper, faster. Josh huffed and squirmed, asking for more nownownownow, but Nick wasn’t in a hurry—yet. All those rippling, warm muscles in Josh’s ass were massaging Nick’s cock and it felt wonderful, mind boggling.

“Aw, God, baby,” Josh said, trying to rock back on Nick’s cock. Nick gripped the younger man’s hips firmly and held him still.

“You’re getting what you want, but at my speed.”

Josh grumbled some agreement which was quickly buried by a shout when Nick’s

cockhead rubbed over Josh’s prostate. Josh’s inner muscles convulsed even tighter and Nick soon found himself buried balls deep in the younger man.

“So beautiful.”

“Nick…”

Inexperienced as he was, the contractions around his dick set Nick’s body into motion.

He pulled out slowly and thrust back in the same. Josh squirmed and bounced and

demanded more, but Nick wanted this to last. He kept the slow pace going until Josh threatened to reach down and rip his balls off. Nick snickered and began speeding up until he was pummelling Josh’s ass.

Josh howled and cursed, begged, demanded—then praised when he began getting

fucked long and hard. “God, baby, just like that, fuck me hard, make me feel you—”

Nick hooked his arms around Josh’s waist and pulled him upright. He stabbed his

dick in and out in rapid, full thrusts as Josh ground back against him. “Look at you,” Nick crooned, reaching for Josh’s cock. He fisted the length and pumped it in time with his thrusts, marvelling at the way Josh moved, moaned, clenched his ass around Nick’s dick.

“Josh…” Nick gasped, his hand faltering as his climax slammed into him, no warning tingles or dimming vision, just a sudden explosion of ecstasy that hit him in every cell at once. Nick WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

133

shouted as the first spurt of cum was wrenched from his dick, his balls sucking up to his body in a snap and pouring hot seed into the condom.

Josh fisted his hand over Nick’s and pumped it twice. He flung his head back onto Nick’s shoulder, gasping and shuddering as spunk sprayed onto their hands. Hi inner muscles squeezed Nick so tightly his yell was strangled, the breath shoved from his lungs.

He clung to Josh, his body as depleted as his balls, his arms clasping the smaller man to him.

His brain was fuzzy, his tongue thick but loose, letting the words that needed to be said more than any others slip past easily.

“I love you.”

WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

134

God, he was an idiot! Josh sat slumped in the more stable of the two plastic chairs. His elbows kept sticking to the tacky surface of the tiny table, but he figured that might be a good thing. He doubted he had enough strength left to hold his arms up so he could prop his chin on his hands. How could he when Nick had fried all of his synapses with those three little words?

And what the fuck did I do? Did I say it back or…or even acknowledge it?
Well, if going slack-jawed and having his eyes bug out could be counted as acknowledgement, then,
check!

That’s all Josh had managed to do as Nick stared down at him, those gorgeous dark eyes simmering with all kinds of emotions Josh was afraid to guess at. Although by the time his silence had run on for too long, the only emotion left in Nick’s eyes had been humiliation.

Before Josh had been able to recover from the fucking of his life, Nick had murmured those words. It wasn’t fair to do that when Josh couldn’t think, for shit’s sake. Geez, he’d barely been able to breathe, Nick had ploughed him so thoroughly.

His body had been flying in a post-orgasmic high, the little cells in his bloodstream singing and zinging with joy—then Nick had dropped the ‘I love you’ bomb and Josh had been so shocked he couldn’t process it. Josh’s first thought was that it was one of those after-sex-things people said because they’d come so hard they went stupid with it. Honestly, though, it had thrilled him for a second until he realised Nick couldn’t mean it.

It wasn’t until right after Nick laughed bitterly and got off Josh like he was on fire that Josh realised yes, Nick
could
have meant it.

The bathroom door opened and Josh nearly leapt from his skin. He became aware of Nick’s eyes on him in a heartbeat, Josh’s ruddy skin warming as the scent of soap wafted into the room.

“It’s—” Nick snorted, drawing Josh’s gaze up to lock with the older man’s. “Well, it’s not okay, exactly, but I understand.”

“Understand what?” Josh asked, feeling almost as vapid as he had right after Nick fucked him. Hard to think when Nick was rubbing a towel over his broad furry chest, and the towel knotted at his hip kept slipping down with each swipe.

WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

135

“I understand why you don’t believe that I love you,” Nick said, “But I do—love you, that is, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.” Nick offered up a smile full of promise as he turned away to begin scooping his clothes off the floor.

Josh’s mouth watered as he watched the plump globes of Nick’s ass bounced under

the towel. He’d love to run his tongue over every inch of Nick’s butt, and those divots at the small of Nick’s back? They just begged to be licked.

“Are you staring at my ass?” Nick asked, wigging the body part in question.

“Yeah.” It was a wonderful distraction.

Nick’s soft laughter warmed Josh through to his soul. The older man turned and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Josh. “I was afraid you’d leave while I showered,” Nick confessed. “But I thought I should give you some time after blurting out that I love you. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long now—another reason I didn’t trust myself to return any of your messages. I wish I’d have just told you weeks ago. I shouldn’t have been such a coward.

You really do deserve better.”

Josh shook his head, his gaze on Nick’s. The man wasn’t a coward; he’d been more honest than Josh had the nerve to be. What was he so afraid of? Saying the words wouldn’t make them any more or less true. If Nick chose to stay in Montana and pretend he was something—someone—he wasn’t, Josh would still love him.

“Why did you come here?”

Josh opened eyes he hadn’t realised he’d closed. He looked at Nick and tensed,

preparing to throw himself over the edge into an abyss that could well consume him. Josh stood and strode on shaky legs over to his lover, then dropped onto his knees in front of the older man. Nick’s eyes widened and his mouth opened on a questioning sound. Josh blindly reached for Nick’s hands, unwilling and unable to look away from those eyes which seemed to see right into his soul. How could Nick not know, when it felt to Josh as if it were branded onto his skin.

“I couldn’t let you go,” Josh scraped out, twining his fingers with Nick’s. “I had to try, to see if—” How the hell had Nick managed it with such ease? Josh’s heart was slamming against his ribs and his mind was shying away from the words with a near panicked frenzy.

Because, he realised, the man before him had the power to break him. Steeling himself, rationalising that Nick wouldn’t reject him, not after the older man had made his own WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

136

confession, didn’t seem to be helping. Josh opened his mouth only to snap it shut again. Nick frowned then leant forward to brush his lips over Josh’s.

“I screwed up too bad,” Nick began, his voice so soft yet fragile in a way that ripped at Josh’s heart.

“No,” Josh blurted out, unable to bear the way the other man was hurting. “No, I’m just terrified, but I do, I love you, I—”

Nick shuddered, his eyes narrowing to thin slits as his hands squeezed Josh’s

uncomfortably hard. “That’s all I need, Josh. That’s all I need.” Then Nick jerked him close and crushed his lips to Josh’s, demanding entry with a sweep of his tongue.

Josh moaned and opened, dimly aware that his hands were now free. He reached for any part of the man to grab onto, an anchor in this world that had narrowed down to three words and a scorching kiss. His hands lighted on Nick’s chest, his fingers curling into the swell of Nick’s pecs and the dense hair covering them.

“
This
is what matters most,” Nick murmured, brushing the words over Josh’s lips.

“Not my pride, not a ranch left to me by the most hateful man I’ve ever known, not my mother’s plans and schemes and expectations. Just you, loving you. Can you have enough faith in me to trust me to come back to you?”

Josh wanted to say fuck it and stay here, not let Nick out of his sight in case the man needed him—or in case he changed his mind. But the way Nick was looking at him, hope, love, need all clear in his expression—how could Josh doubt the man? He wouldn’t.