What Love Has Lost (18 page)

I can scream it to the mountains. I want to scream it out loud, notifying the world that I'm in love with him, again. After we parted, I decide to tell him. "Nathan," I breathe.

"Hmm," he hums, as he starts to caress my face.

"I love you, too." I say, watching him smile brightly.

"C'mon, I have something to show you." Nathan whispers as he leads us towards the motorcycle.

♠♣♥♦

As we arrive to our destination, he turns off the engine. Sure, it's nothing like the one in Arkansas, but it's very nice and peaceful. He decides to drive us miles away from the dinner party, to be alone at a park, where it is secluded. "Why are we here?"

"Hmm, I think a nice dinner at the park will be nice, so here we are." He clarifies.

I giggle. Still have his hand intertwine with mine, I follow him with the lovely candles and those rose petals, placed everywhere onto the picnic table. "There's no music."

"We don't need music." Nathan interjects.

I nod. However, I start to become cold. I hug myself as I watch Nathan take off his jacket and places it around me, so I won't worry being cold. Nathan seems so different. He's more caring like before. He's not so complicated, or egotistic. I like seeing this part of him. He's so caring and thoughtful. He's so sweet and gentleman-like. He's honest, too.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask. He laughs and gestures me to proceed. "You're not proposing, are you?" I arch an eyebrow. His eyes shoots wide open.

"Well," he pauses. "If you think this romantic date will lead you to a proposal, then no."

I giggle. "Good. I think we should hold off the engagement or plans for marriage until we really settle things."

He nods. "I understand your patience, but I think we should talk about marriage."

"You're not going to propose to me at a baseball game, are you?" I reassure.

"No, I think I want to get an idea of what we should do, before continuing our relationship. As of marriage, I think we should interact with our families, since you've seem very comfortable around mine. Although your family has a problem with me, I think we should have a small wedding." He makes a face.

I reach my hands to him. "No, I want a huge wedding. I want my family to be there. I want your family to be there, too. I want everyone to smile at our happiness. I want our wedding to be special. Our love is special and I think we should remember the day of our happiness, forever."

He huffs. "Well, your parents aren't easy targets..."

I interrupt. "I don't care what my parents think. It's my fucking decision. If I want to be with you, then I'll be with you, forever. I want to raise a family with you. I want to spend a future with you. I want to grow old with you, too. If your heart is happy, then I'm happy. Like you said in your speech; love and happiness - cherish it."

He chuckles, while he scratches his dark brown hair. "You enjoy my speech?"

"I did. It was amazing and in depth. I think you did a better job than I could ever possibly imagine. However, I was so surprised that you mentioned me, in front of those people." I lean closer to him. "But, you grabbed their attention. You handled that speech very well. You tugged the hearts of those people, especially mine. Nathan, you surprised me when you confessed that you still love me. I love you because you're something that I imagine to spend the rest of my life." I bite onto my lower lip, gazing into his eyes. He slowly forms a small, crooked smile.

He gets up and walks towards me. He takes out his hand, as I swiftly take my hand into his. I slowly get out of my seat, as I follow him. We start walking throughout the park, holding hands. This is very sweet. I've always wanted a stroll at the park, in the starry night sky.

This is as if I am in a romantic scene. It feels as if we are part of the movie. I don't care what the rest of the world is doing. Everything matters is between us. We start talking about everything. We discuss about our relationship, four years ago.

"Remember the time that you wrote me a song?" I remind him. He starts laughing.

"Oh, right, that was horrible. I think your song recommended to me was very humorous."

I giggle, stifling my laughter as my hand covers my mouth. "Well, I took a well-known song and changed the lyrics and wrote what I thought about you."

"And calling me a strange boy was thoughtful about me?" He defends, stopping our tracks.

I shrug. "You know that I loved you. You were too gullible and innocent." I wink.

His eyes widen as we stare at each other for a couple of minutes. "Oh, you are so getting it." He states as he starts to chase me. I squeal and start to run further away from him as possible. Failure to know, he has longer legs, compared to mine, so I have no chance of getting away from him. Finally, I feel his hands wrap around my waist as we both fall down onto the soft grass.

Good thing it's not wet. I'm the one who fell first, so Nathan lays on top of me.

We both giggle and stare at each other. Our laughter dies down, suddenly. "So, what are you thinking, Mr. Hampton?"

"Don't call me that. It makes me feel old." He states. I poke my tongue out. He covers his mouth onto mine. A couple of seconds later, I feel his tongue licking my bottom lip. I slowly open them as he enters into my mouth. As we start making out for a couple of minutes, we finally stop as we both gasp for air. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I don't show hesitation. A smile comes across my face.

Finally, he shifts his body away from mine. He lies down next to me. I watch the sky, as in the corner of my eye, I feel his eyes fall upon me. I shift my body onto my side, facing towards him. He places an arm around me, trying to pull me closer to him. I scoot closer to him, being centimeters apart from each other. He arches his elbow as he rest his head onto his head, while looking down at me.

"After you dumped me, what was life without me?" I ask. I want to know what happened in his occurring life. I want to know if he enjoyed it. I want to know if he had other girlfriends after dating me. I want to know if he was happy or not. I want to know everything. I'm dying to know everything!

"Well, I went into a dark place. I made so many bad choices. Even my previous girlfriends were kind of bad influences, except this one girl whom I've dated after you. She reminded me of you, a bit. Amanda was very sweet and funny. She has faith in her religion. She comes from a good, respectful family. However, I dumped her because she was too risky for me."

I arch an eyebrow. "Risky? How is she risky?"

"Well, she kept pushing me into things that I wasn't sure. She wanted us to get married, too. She planned on having a future with me, but I wasn't sure if I wanted that with her." He pauses, licking his lips. "Um, I'm not saying that Amanda isn't the right girl for me. She's amazing, too. However, I wasn't sure if I was in love with her."

"How many girlfriends have you had after me?" I question, wanting to know more about his past. I want to know if he ever loved them, as much as he loved me.

"Four, I think?" he sounds unsure.

"You think? How many girlfriends, Nate," I project, creating eye contact. "Tell me." I soften.

He exhales, deeply. "Five," he whispers.

"And you're sure that you're in love with me?" I add. "Are you more positive that you love me, compared to those other girlfriends?"

"I know I'm in love with you. You don't push me into anything. Yes, you're complicated and frisky at times, but it's something that I love about you. You're free spirited and funny. You're smart when you need to be. You're beautiful, too. You're very good in bed." He wiggles his eyebrows. I slapped him on his arm. Giggling, he stops me as he reaches my hand and holds it.

I stare at our hands. His hand fits perfectly with mine. My eyes shift from our hands to his eyes. His emerald eyes turns darker, it seems. "Nate, am I different to those other girls that you dated, or am I just a person who is in the top five?" I question.

"Don't question yourself, Inn. The day I laid eyes on you at the football game - I thought I was dreaming," he trails. My eyes roll. "You think I'm joking with you. Ha, Inna, I'm telling you the damn truth. I want to argue with you. I want to make up with you. I want everything to be imperfect in its perfect way." he continues.

"I only want you. Just you, forever and always," I cut him off as I gently place my lips against his. Slowly letting go, he purrs.

"You know, I want to make love with you right here." he whispers, letting out a sly smirk.

I scoff. "Not in this place. Besides, there could be perverts out there, hiding behind the bushes!"

"So? Let those pervert look because they cannot have a sexy goddess." He compliments, while biting onto his lower lip. I place my hands against his chest. Wow, he must have been working out because his chest feels hard.

"Ugh, you do realize that I hate public display of affection." I remind him.

He chuckles. "Since when are you so shy?"

"Uh," I hesitate, my eyes roaming around the atmosphere. "Since the day I was born!"

Watching his eyes roll, I slap him. "Ouch, what was that for?"

"For mocking me," I grumble, looking at the grass. "Besides, public display of affection grosses everyone out, anyways. I think the people, who are single, would be upset or something. I mean, I don't see us kissing in front of people! We are always in a private room or something."

"True, but we can try public display of affection, once in a while." Nathan whispers.

"You are so persistent!" I giggle, gazing into his emerald eyes. Chewing onto my lower lip, I hear Nathan groan. I raise an eyebrow. "What's that all about?" I ask.

"Watching you chew onto your lower lip is utterly sexy." He growls and smirks.

Shutting my eyes, I hit him across his forearm, again. "Ouch, woman, what's up with the hitting?" he practically shouts. Rubbing his forearm, I roll my eyes.

"You're such a big baby." I mutter. Unexpectedly, he attacks me. I squeal as he starts tickling me. I always hate when he tickles me, or when Grady tickles me. I always lose to these losers, but I'm glad that these losers are mine. "Okay, uncle," I surrender.

"No, I think you deserved to be tickled, some more," he laughs, placing his hands all over me.

After we finish playing around, we come to a stop. Panting for air, I realize that we need to head back to the dinner rehearsal. Rhiannon and Grady are probably worried sick about us. "We should head back." I gasp.

"Hmm," Nathan hums. "Yeah, tomorrow is the wedding, right?"

I simply nod, not making eye contact with him. Slowly, we both get up and dust ourselves to head back to the dinner rehearsal. "Say, isn't Grady having a bachelor party after the dinner rehearsal?"

Nathan chuckles, while scratching his dark hair. "Uh, I decide to skip it."

"Aw, but you'll have so much fun, hanging out with the boys." I persuade, rubbing his forearm.

Nathan grumbles. "Eh, but I wouldn't want to watch girls dancing on poles, when I only want to see one girl, for the rest of my life." He touches my chin, inching my face towards his. I can feel his hot breath, breathing against my skin. I smile as he pulls me closer to him. He gently brushes his lips against mine. Tingles goes through my body like a shock wave.

Pulling away, my thoughts try to come back to reality, but being with him feels like a dream. "We should go back. You know how Rhiannon worries. I'm not sure about Grady, but he'll be wondering where we are as well."

Nathan groans, but he grabs my hand as we leisurely walk back to the motorcycle.

♠♣♥♦

Riding back to the dinner party, I clutch closer to him as he starts driving us in a faster speed. I can somewhat hear him chuckle, but the engine is so loud. I brush my head against his shoulder. Smelling his scent, I cannot believe that he wants me as I want him. Somehow, I rub my hands all over his chest. My mind goes through so many things. It feels as if I am sixteen again.

"You know you are tempting me so much to stop this motorcycle and tie your hands together." He practically yells. I stick my tongue out, and he lets out a deep laugh. See, this is what I love about Nathan. I can practically become myself, whenever I'm around him. Sure, he's cocky and arrogant, but there's so much more to him.

I wonder what will happen after tomorrow. Will he propose to me? I wonder how he will propose to me. Sure, he wants to propose to me during a baseball game, where there are so many people and the big screen, which will say, 'Marry me, Inna'. I don't want him to propose to me in a baseball game. I always picture a man, kneeling as he asks me the important question in a restaurant. However, Nathan concludes that he wants to propose to me, privately.

I'm not so sure, but he has a hard time, being so romantic.

Right now, everything seems perfect. It's the impeccable moment for us. He agrees to spend a life with me. He loves me. It's tough to realize that we have been through so much, but he apologizes the way he acted, four years ago. Now, I feel as if he is telling me the truth. I feel as if he will keep his promises. My heart lingers and burns for him. It feels scary, surreal, and undeniably safe. I feel happy. I feel as if I am that sixteen year old, again.

Nathan turns his head towards me. He starts to smile as a smile slowly widens. Looking up, I warn Nathan to pay attention to the road. "Nathan, watch out!"

Quickly, he turns his head, but we both already hit the curve and slide out of the motorcycle.

Chapter Seventeen

Say Our Last Goodbye

Death - it's a scary feeling for everyone. Sure, it's a life experience, but I don't want to die at an early age. I have so many things ahead in my life. I'm in love and I'm afraid if life will take that away from me. My mind races with every thought from 'Am I going to survive?' to 'Where's Nathan?' I really want to know how he's doing. Will he be able to survive?

My vision is still blurry. All I can see is bright lights, shining on my face. I can see doctors, taking me to the emergency room, as I am lying down on the gurney. I can barely hear the doctors, murmuring about me. How badly am I injured? What's going on? Why are they murmuring?