What Love Has Lost (21 page)

"Love and happiness," I try quoting his speech from the dinner rehearsal. "Love is a mysterious thing in life. It can make you happy. It can make you mad. It can even make you do the craziest shit in life, too. Love is kind. Love is complicated. Love is so much more than meets the eye." I switch around the speech, a little bit.

"Nathan, I still am in love with that wonderful speech. I can never forget it." I whisper, shutting both of my eyes. Suddenly, I feel the wind blow against me. I inhale deeply as I reminisce the moments we shared together.

Opening my eyes, I slowly check the time. "I should get going. Little Nathan will be very cranky if I don't pick him up on time."

Getting up from my knees, I dust off the leaves and dirt off my jeans. Staring at his grave, I slowly replay all those memories I had with Nathan Leo Hampton - the skater boy to the most wonderful boy I have ever known. Turning around, I walk towards my car. However, I come to a halt as I see a little boy, with those dorky glasses, standing in front of a grave.

Somehow, the little boy faces towards me. I get a good insight of him as he slowly starts to remind me of Nathan's appearance. A small smile slowly creeps upon my face. Unexpectedly, the little boy waves towards me. Then, I reciprocate.

♠♣♥♦

Driving to the daycare, I watch little Nathan running towards the car with a huge smile on his face. Everything about little Nathan reminds me of my lover, Nathan. I swear that the child is not his, but every day, he slowly reminds me of him. "Mommy, guess what happened at school, today!" Nathan cheers as he jumps into his car chair.

"What happened at school, today?" I say as I stare at the rearview mirror.

"Today, we studied about snakes and other reptiles. Oh, and we also went to the zoo!" He proceeds, being all excited. I giggle.

"Well, I'm glad that you had fun at school." I simply congratulate.

"Mom," he asks, giving out a serious look. "Are you and Daddy in love?"

"Yes, we are in love. Why do you ask?"

"Well, Stacy's parents explained about true love. They even showed it, too. We also had a show and tell before we all road tripped to the zoo, today. Anyways, I can never tell that you and Daddy are in love. Is it there?"

"Honey, when you grow older, you will know more about being in love. Right now, let's just go home and bake cookies with Mommy, okay?" I ask.

Nathan simply nods. "Can we make dinosaur cookies, instead?" his eyes widen.

I chuckle. "Of course, we can." I smile and start the engine as we drive towards home.

♠♣♥♦

At the age of sixteen, I have found love. At the age of nineteen, I have found love, again. Now, I'm twenty-nine years old, and I'm still in love with the man who isn't really in my life, anymore. Sure, it seems ridiculous to be in love with a deceased, but love is still there.

Right now, I'm tucking little Nathan to sleep as I decide to read a story to him. He always loves bedtime stories before going to sleep. "Mommy, tell me the story when you and Daddy met."

"Honey, I already told you that story like ten times." I complain.

He pouts. "Still, I want to hear it, again."

"Well, your father and I met at a football game. We were teenagers. He was the most popular jock in school, and I was the studious, quiet girl." I trail, but Nathan interrupts me.

"Mommy, is Daddy your first, true love?" he simply asks.

My eyes begin to wander around the room. "Yes. He absolutely is." I smile.

"Oh, okay. Will I ever find my first, true love?" he questions.

I giggle as I place a quick kiss onto his tiny forehead. "Yes, you will. Now, go to sleep."

He yawns and nods, slowly, while shutting his eyes. "Goodnight, Mommy."

"Night," I soothe, while slowly switching off the lights. "I love you."

"Love you, too." He yawns, again.

Mommy, is Daddy your first true love? I repeat the same question that my little boy has asked. Honestly, I want to say that his real father is dead. Yes, little Nathan is named after his real father, but it's such a shame that he isn't with us, now. Alex doesn't know who the real father is, so he just assumes that he's the father.

After the death of Nathan Hampton, I became pregnant. Therefore, I always tell the story about my first true love to my wonderful little boy.

THE END