What about us? (40 page)

From the way the light streamed
in through the tall windows, I thought it must be about five o’clock.  The
apartment faced west and I’d always enjoyed the fact that when the rain stopped
on Sunday afternoon, the light poured in.

I brought myself back.  No
point living in the past I thought, which made me laugh, almost hysterically.  After
all, I’d been living in the past for years.  I looked at them again.  They
looked ordinary, not like police or executioners.  The man was older than both
me and the woman with him.  She appeared to be in her late forties and the turn
of the century fashion looked good on her.  She was trim and tidy and she had
that ‘organised’ air about her.  He on the other hand, had a ‘forgetful’ air
about him, but I wasn’t going to let that fool me; he had shrewd eyes.

I sighed, wondering if I was going
to have to do all the work.

“Well you know you who I am,” I
said.  “You also know quite a bit about my life but I know nothing about either
of you.  While I can appreciate that you are obviously from the future and
therefore cannot share your life stories with me, you could at least tell me
your names and why you brought me back here.  Seems only fair, don’t you
think?”

The woman smiled.  It was
genuine, but the man’s expression didn’t change at all.

“Yes that does seem fair.  I am
Suri and this is Hector.” she said, introducing the man with a graceful
flourish.  His beady eyes remained fixed on me.

“Pleased to meet you both, I’m
sure.  And the purpose of all this might be what exactly?” I asked again,
staring straight back at him.

He seemed to come to some sort
of decision, because he stood up and walked to the window before turning back
to me.

He held his hands up, clearly
exasperated by something.  “The purpose of ‘all this’ is to determine exactly
what has been going on and to give The Board enough information to decide what
in heaven’s name should be done about it all.” he said.

“Oh.” I said, wondering who
this board was, what their options might be and if I would like any of them.

Suri watched me for a moment,
then decided to tell me a little more about why they were there.

“The Board is a group of people
who determine what information from the past can be used to influence the
future.  They make the rules for time travel and they set the standards.  They
must also decide what happens when those rules are transgressed.  Grace, this
is not a straightforward case.  For various reasons, a complex and lengthy
investigation has been needed.  This case involves you, Jack and Javier and
potentially affects the future of mankind.”

It was my turn to come to a
decision.  “Well, as this ‘purpose’ of yours seems to be a bit on the big side,
perhaps we could all have a nice cup of tea while you ask me or tell me, or do
whatever it is that is supposed to come next.  I’m as curious as you are, so I
promise I won’t shimmer anywhere; mainly because I have a few questions of my
own that I’d appreciate some answers to.”

“I’m sure you do.” she said,
making no move to follow me as I got up.  “Jack did say that tea might be part
of the proceedings, so everything is already in the kitchen, in accordance with
his precise instructions.”

The mention of his name opened
a huge hole in me, one that I’d worked hard to keep closed.  I needed some time
on my own and I was glad that they let me go to the kitchen by myself.  He knew
I was there.  He’d told them things; things about me and about us, but he
wasn’t with them.  Why? Was it through choice or had they prevented him from
coming? While I waited for the water to boil I just stood there, looking out of
the window across the short distance to the kitchen of the apartment opposite. 
It was always shady out there.  In that space the sun never shone and it was as
though all the lights had all gone out in my world too.

I made the tea mechanically and
began to see that everything I’d built up while I was waiting for Jack to
miraculously reappear had been just as mechanical and empty.  I could never
escape these people.  Sometimes it might be Javier, sometimes these two; maybe
there would be others, depending on when and where I went next.  I had a
strange sense of there already having been others, but I couldn’t be sure and
to be honest I didn’t care enough to poke about in my memory; I felt fragile
enough without opening more wounds.  I just knew that it would never be the
only person I actually wanted to see; he would never be allowed to come back. 

Quite frankly, I could have sat
in a heap right there and sobbed my heart out, but that wasn’t going to help
matters and I had a strong feeling that there would be plenty of time for that
later.

It seemed that the only person
looking out for my best interests was me.  I took a deep breath and tried to
push all my feelings out of the way and just focus on facts.   I laid the tray
and walked back down the long corridor towards the other room.  The door wasn’t
quite shut and I could hear their voices.

“This cannot be allowed to
continue.  Despite his many other failings, Javier was right about this
constant cycle.” said Hector, sounding very certain.

“Yes I agree,” said Suri, “But
given all the different ways that he has already tried to stop it in all the
other realities and failed, I think it is time for a different approach.  A
more natural conclusion perhaps, wouldn’t you say?”

Her voice was soft, but there
was steel behind it and I wondered what her interpretation of ‘natural’ might
be.

“There is little about this
situation that is natural in my view.” Hector replied.  “Given their respective
birth years, in the natural way of things they would never have met.  I know, I
know, there’s no need to raise your eyebrow at me; if they had not, we’d be in
a fine old mess.  But, and I repeat,
but
, that is not reason enough to
say that things have happened as they were meant to, nor does it point to any
obvious way to conclude matters.”

I heard him sit down as he
finished speaking.  They must have heard the china tinkling on the tray,
because neither of them said anything further.  I was curious as to why they
were speaking in English.  I’d understood every word, yet I knew from Jack that
the language of the future was different.  Perhaps they just hadn’t switched;
the implants in their brains probably didn’t know I’d left the room.  The
thought made me smile, I knew I had no chance of ever understanding their
technology.

It was Hector who noticed that
something had changed in me as I handed him his tea, asking him if he wanted
sugar, milk or lemon.

“I don’t actually know.” he
said simply, but he was watching me and his eyes looked concerned.  There
wasn’t pity in them, just genuine concern.

“Well, try the milk and if you
want it sweeter, just add a bit of sugar.” I said, turning to Suri.  “You look
like a lemon lady to me.”

“Very good Grace and thank
you.” she smiled, as she took the cup from me.

Hector coughed.  I wasn’t sure
if it was because he was going to speak or because he didn’t like the tea.  I
picked up my own cup and sat back down to wait.

“You said you had some
questions Grace.  If we can, perhaps we should address them first.” he said,
putting the cup down and giving it a funny look.

It almost made me smile, but
not quite.  It reminded me that I’d never found out from Jack what they
actually ate and drank in the future and now I never would.

Earlier in the day I thought
that I had hundreds of questions, but I realised now that basically, they
boiled down to just three.  The first was the most important.

“Is he happy?” I asked, “Jack I
mean.”

Hector looked confused and
glanced over at Suri, clearly wanting some help.  I turned to her as well.

“I don’t think that is for us
to say...” she said slowly.  “He does not appear to be unhappy.  He is well and
has not been harmed in anyway, I can assure you of that, if that is what
worries you.”

“No it isn’t.  I know Javier meant
Jack no harm, he only wanted him back.  Back where he belongs, fulfilling his
destiny and so forth.  I know you won’t have hurt him but that doesn’t
automatically mean that he’s happy does it?”

Suri continued to look at me,
but she didn’t appear to have any more to add.

I don’t know what I’d expected
them to tell me in response to that question.  It was a big one and I still wasn’t
really any the wiser.  I couldn’t think of a different way of putting it though
and anyway, Hector spoke again before I had a chance to try.

“Quite.” he said firmly,
clearly hoping to put an end to the subject.  “Your, err, next question?” he
asked, a little uncertainly.

I looked straight at him this
time.  “Javier tried to kill me.  I hope your investigation hasn’t skirted over
that rather important fact.  I’m assuming murder or attempted murder is still
wrong in the future?”

It was my turn to watch
carefully; I wanted the truth.

“No, it most certainly has not
and yes, for us murder is still a crime, one that is serious and thankfully
rare.”

He looked a bit uncomfortable
as he went on, but again, as far as I could tell he was telling me the truth.

“To be fair, he said he always
knew you had the second watch and that you would escape from the battlefield.  That
was what he meant when he said he was going to lose you.  He knew that you
would hide as soon as you realised where you where, but he didn’t want to know
where or when you had gone.  That way he would not have to lie and he did not
think that Jack would find you.  This was clearly an underestimation on his
part.”

“Humph!” was as much as I could
give in response to that line of thinking.

Suri’s clear voice broke into
the silence.

“He didn’t do it to gain a
personal advantage Grace.  Javier is an exceptional person, despite his
sometimes unfortunate traits.  Everything he learnt he used to benefit mankind
generally.  He is not interested in fame, glory or wealth; only knowledge
interests him.  The fact that he acquired so much of it as a direct result of
breaking so many rules is something different and it remains a difficult issue
for us to grapple with.” she finished, stirring her tea thoughtfully.

For a moment I was furious that
the loathsome man had planned it all and more fool them if they believed him.  I
know I thought all that, but I don’t think I said any of it.

However, Hector raised an eyebrow
and Suri went on to say, “We have examined all the information stored in his
implants.  He took a big risk by taking you to that moment in time, but in his
view it was calculated.  He had carried out a lot of research and he had
studied both you and local history before he decided on that plan of action.  And
you did escape; you weren’t killed.”

“So how did you find me,” I
asked, “If my whereabouts were never in his implants?”

My spirits sank even lower.  It
seemed there was no way I could outwit the man, which probably meant he’d come
back for another try at some point.

“Jack found you.” Hector said,
evenly.

He couldn’t have known what
effect that statement would have on me.

All the lights came back on and
then they went out again.  He’d found me but he hadn’t come for me; instead,
these two had come.  Something important had changed for him.  I didn’t doubt
that he had loved me in the past, but I could no longer assume that he might
still love me in the present.  I had to put my cup down; I’d started shaking
and it was rattling in the saucer.  I nodded; I didn’t trust myself to say a
single word and just sat there, blinking the tears away, trying to make my mind
go blank.

Suri must have seen my anxiety,
because she leaned forward and tried to catch my eyes, I suppose to help me
focus on something.

“Just before Javier unwound
time, Jack went up to your room in the hotel.  He saw how you had left it and
he managed to have the leather-bound folder in his hand as it was all unwinding. 
It meant that the papers were with him in the same way that the other watch was
with you; they were not erased from time and so later, we could look at the
clues you had left.”

She spoke softly, as though she
wanted me to know something important, but I was too miserable to think about
it properly.

“If you were there all the time,
why did you let Javier do it? Why didn’t you stop him?” I asked sullenly.  I
didn’t want to think about Jack.  Not until later, when I was alone again, as I
was probably always going to be.

Hector was about to speak, but
Suri cut him off.  “Before Javier set off on his own mission, Jack had
convinced us that a thorough investigation was needed.  Something that Javier
had told him triggered an echo in his mind.  He didn’t discuss it with his
mentor, instead he took his concerns and reasons straight to The Board, who
sanctioned his proposal and drafted in Hector and myself to lead it.  That was
why we were with him at the hotel.  I know that you saw us, but I was surprised
that you could.  We too were almost outside time; we needed to be because we
were observing Javier at that moment, not you.  We had to let him continue, in
order to understand.  Only then could we question him and study all the layers
of information we knew he had, although at that point we didn’t know how he had
accumulated it.  The Golden rule has not been broken often, yet he broke it
deliberately and repeatedly.  At that time it was something we were not prepared
to believe was even possible.”