What About Charlie? (29 page)

A smile spread across her lips. “A genuine Iowa farm girl. The farm is so quiet and beautiful. On warm summer nights you can sit on the front porch of the house, look up into the sky and see every star. You can hear the crickets chirping, lightning bugs flying all around. And when a breeze kicks up, the leaves on the cornstalks rustle, making such an incredible sound. Sitting there you feel safe and content, like you’re the only person in the world and no harm will come to you.”

“Ah. He loves you Charlie. He cares deeply for you.” He studied her for a moment. “From the expression on your face, you don’t believe that.”

She shook her head mutely. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t. She wanted to tell him so but the words wouldn’t come.

“I know Evan seems taciturn at times, unapproachable even. He’s a lot like father in that way. He doesn’t wear his feelings on his sleeve and he sure as hell doesn’t bare his soul to anyone. He keeps his feelings to himself. But I know my brother. He’s in love with you, Charlie. The fact that he married you tells me that.”

“He married me because he felt sorry for me. I had nowhere to recover except a nursing home. I had no insurance. He married me so I’d have some security.”

Michael shook his head. He grabbed Charlie’s hand and squeezed it. “Charlie, you’re missing the whole point. He married you because he loves you. I know him. If he felt sorry for you, he would have done what was necessary for you to get the appropriate care. He wouldn’t have married you. He would have given you money, paid for someone to care for you. Believe me.

“Give him a chance, Charlie. Take the initiative. My big brother is smart, but he’s pretty dense when it comes to women and saying the right things. Hold on tight and don’t let go.”

Michael’s admonition ran through Charlie’s mind long after he left her in the garden. Of course, he was right. As long as she’d known Evan, he had always been one to keep his feelings to himself. That’s the way he was and she fell in love with him because of that. Beneath that hard exterior was a wonderful, loving man. The man whom she loved. The man to whom she was married. She wanted this marriage to work. She vowed to herself it would.

****

Charlie was asleep when Evan finally arrived home. He felt a pang of disappointment. He had intended to make his excuses to his friends and get back early. But when Michael left early, he was left dependant on a ride home. So, he’d been stuck there until his ride had been ready to leave. He supposed he could have called a cab, but that would have seemed exceedingly rude. So, he spent the evening watching the clock slowly tick off the minutes and hours, his mind filled with thoughts of Charlie the whole time.

This morning had been incredible. He’d felt so close to her. At that moment, he’d felt anything was possible for them. As he thought more about it, the more convinced he’d become that anything was possible for them. They’d let things go too far. He was willing to try and work things out.

Was she?

That he didn’t know. They desperately needed to talk, to clear the air between them for once and for all. Suddenly, he was very glad he’d come home late. Making love to Charlie, however wonderful it would have been, would have solved nothing. In fact, it only would have complicated matters between them. Their physical relationship should only come to fruition after they’ve repaired the emotional one.

Evan stripped out of his clothes, slipping on a pair of pajama bottoms. Crawling into bed, he snuggled close to Charlie, pressing his chest against her back. He draped his arm around her waist. He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

Once again Charlie awoke snuggled close to Evan, but this time he was curled around her. She felt no compulsion to move away. Indeed she felt wonderfully content to lie there and be held in his strong arms.

“I meant to get home much earlier last night, but Michael got called out leaving me stranded and relying on Dennis for a ride home. I thought we’d never leave!”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “It makes no difference to me if you walk with a cane. That doesn’t change the person you are inside. You’re still Charlie. So are you game?”

She flashed a smile that reached her eyes. “You bet.”

The sun was shining bright when they finally stepped out the front door. It was late morning. Evan had told her he wanted to wait a few hours before leaving to make sure the ice on the sidewalks had melted. He didn’t want her to slip. His concern warmed her heart.

Oh, she could be cynical and twist it that he merely didn’t want to be saddled with a wife with anymore injuries. But that wasn’t being fair to Evan. He’d been good to her and he didn’t deserve that type of snide thinking.

And besides, Charlie thought, suddenly feeling buoyant, like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she was tired of being negative, tired of feeling sorry for herself. Staying in that frame of mind would not help her attain the happiness she so desired. It was time that she accepted her disability, time that she was once again herself.

For Charlie, it was as if the clock had been turned back to when they had been friends before their physical relationship interfered. They held hands, laughed, joked. Using Evan for support to walk, Charlie left her cane at his parent’s house. She almost felt normal again, except for having to walk at a snails pace when she normally had been a brisk walker. But at that moment she didn’t care. She was enjoying herself. She was having a good time.

Evan took her to the Massachusetts State House where the first dome was installed by Paul Revere; he showed her where the Boston Massacre took place, and bought her a cup of hot cocoa from a local coffee shop. Then they strolled down Mt. Vernon Street, admiring the beauty of the historic homes.

Though the Boston Public Garden was barren of flowers and foliage, Charlie fell in love with its stark beauty. They strolled across the bridge. Evan pointed out where the famous swan boats floated about in the pond during spring and summer.

“I’m being realistic, Evan. I will never walk normally again. I’ll always have this limp and if I’m not using you for support when I walk, I’ll have to use my cane. I can’t do things like I used to. I can’t even run to play Frisbee like I used to do.”

****

He knelt before her and clasped her hands in his. “What does that have anything to do with the way I feel for you? You’re still Charlie. It doesn’t make a difference to me if you limp or have to walk using a cane. I just thank God that you didn’t die in that accident. I thank God everyday that you are here and you can walk. I’ve seen much worse, Charlie. You are so very fortunate. What matters most is that you’re here with me, that I can see you smile. I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy together.”

Charlie’s eyes misted. There was no doubt in her mind that Evan truly cared for her. Perhaps he didn’t love her as she loved him, but she knew he loved her in his own way just the same. It was a comfort to know that.

She smiled shyly. “I want us to be happy, too. Evan, I…” then she stopped in mid-sentence, looking up at him.

He looked at her in question

Fear of his reaction caused her to stop. She wanted a family and, though she knew he wanted one too, she’d suddenly become very reluctant to bring up the subject.

“I’m having a wonderful time,” she amended, thinking herself silly for being shy all of a sudden.

Bringing her hands to his mouth, he touched her fingertips with his lips, his eyes earnest and serious. “I am too, Charlie. Lets make this marriage work. There is no reason why we can’t.”

Feeling like she was floating on air, they returned to the townhouse. It was late in the afternoon and the house was quiet – his father at work, his mother having tea at a friend’s home.

Charlie sat at the kitchen table while Evan fixed them each a mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows. Bringing the two mugs over to the table, he sat a mug down in front of her and took a seat across from her.

After taking a sip, he looked up at her.

“Charlie,” he began, “I know since we’ve been here I’ve been neglecting you. When I suggested we come here for the holidays, it wasn’t my intention to be so distant. But somehow it happened that way.” He was silent for a moment. “I want to make that up to you or at least try. Have you ever seen the Nutcracker?”

She shook her head. “I’ve always wanted to.”

Evan smiled. “Good. I have two tickets for tomorrow night to see the Boston Ballet perform the Nutcracker at the Wang Theatre. It’s a magnificent production. I know you’ll enjoy it. That is if you want to go.”

He gave her a pensive smile and her heart went out to him. He was trying to please her, make her happy. “I’d love to go, Evan. But what will I wear? I have nothing appropriate.”

Giving her an indulgent smile, he said, “Mother is going to take you on a shopping spree tomorrow morning. She will make sure you have suitable attire.”

That night, when they lay down, Evan pulled her close to him. Charlie rested her arm on his arm that was wrapped around her waist, feeling overjoyed and, yes, relieved. Things were beginning to thaw between them. How she had worried this might never happen!

After a while, she turned over on her other side, facing him. Charlie was surprised to see his green eyes staring back at her. They were soft and warm.

“I’ve had a great day today.”

“Me too.”

By the firelight in the room, Charlie saw that Evan was smiling. At that moment, she felt so very close to him, with his arms around her, a look of warmth and tenderness directed at her.

“Evan, I want this to be a real marriage,” she rushed. “I want to have a family,” she blurted. His eyes shadowed and his smile had slipped. “That is if you still want to,” she said uncertainly.

He softly touched her cheek with his fingertips. “From the inception of this marriage, that was my intention. Why have you suddenly changed your mind?”

“I want us to have a happy life together, and being at odds with each other won’t accomplish that.”

Charlie focused her eyes on his lips, wishing he would kiss her, that he would make love to her. She needed him so much right now.

In a husky voice she moaned, “Make love to me, Evan.”

It came out barely as a whisper. It was so light she wondered if she’d said it at all, but she knew Evan had heard when he lowered his mouth down to hers and hungrily tasted her lips.

His lips were hot and Charlie responded to him just as a person dying of thirst gulps water, not able to get enough. Little did she realize before now how she had been figuratively dying. She had needed Evan’s touch more than she ever realized.

Desire whipped them up in a frenzy. Evan’s strong hands managed to find their way beneath her gown, caressing and kneading her breasts. Charlie ran her hands up and down his back savoring the warmth of his skin, the strength of his muscles.