What About Charlie? (19 page)

Long after Alan had left, Evan stood at the window thinking while watching the sunset and myriads of snowflakes drift to the ground forming large white drifts.

Alan was right, of course. He needed to do something. He needed to take action. But what? The question seemed to haunt him.

Grabbing his coat off the back of a nearby chair, he decided one thing he could start doing was sleeping in his own bed again at night.

But before he could pull his coat over his shoulders, the beep of the pager clipped to his belt echoed in the quiet room.

Evan’s whole body shook. At least it did internally. No one around him could sense his fear or horror regarding the scene before him.

Barking orders to the nurses surrounding him, he took several calming breaths. He had to stay focused, be professional. He couldn’t let his objectivity be impaired.

He never before had this reaction to a patient. It felt odd, bewildering.

He almost felt out of control.

The patient was unconscious and needed surgery. There was no doubt about his prognosis. There was bruising and swelling in the right hip area. The right leg was turned outward and shorter than the left.

Though he was on call tonight, he couldn’t perform the surgery. He’d done it many times before, but professionally and ethically he couldn’t do it. He was too involved, had too much at stake personally.

Watching the patient being rolled away for x-rays, he took off his gloves and tossed them in a nearby hazmat bin. He needed to call Alan. Glancing about, all the phones were either in use or had several people around them. He needed a quiet area where he could gather his thoughts, where he could talk to Alan privately.

****

Alan performed the surgery to repair Charlie’s fractured hip the next day. Evan was present the entire time. Not because he didn’t trust Alan’s surgical skills. Alan was an excellent surgeon. But because he had this insatiable need to be there in the room with Charlie, to make sure everything that could be done was being done.

His stomach had been in knots the whole four hours. A couple of times he could actually feel the bile rising in his throat. Even though this was a routine surgery, anything could happen and the mere thought terrified him. Though he hadn’t seen or spoken to her in months, he couldn’t bare the thought of losing her.

After the surgery, Alan sent him to the cafeteria to take a break and get something to eat while Charlie was in recovery. He sat quietly at his usual table sipping a cup of coffee. He couldn’t but help think of all the times he and Charlie had met at this very spot over the years. Charlie’s smiling eyes and her melodic laughter filled his mind’s eye. Since their argument, life hadn’t been the same. Work had become his mistress. He had no desire to date anyone. He had no desire to go to baseball or hockey games, not even watch them on TV. It was too painful. Those memories were seared onto his brain and wouldn’t leave. And to tell the truth, he didn’t want them to.

Evan unconsciously drummed his fingers on the table’s edge while anxiously waiting for Alan to return. The worry was literally making him sick. He’d been such a fool not to bridge the rift between them, to do whatever was in his power to make things right between them.

So foolish.

But no more, he vowed. He was determined to do whatever he needed to do to make things right between them.

He looked at his watch. He’d been there almost an hour. Maybe he should have stayed. Evan sighed. No, Alan was Charlie’s physician. It wasn’t his place to be interfering. Charlie was in extremely capable hands. The thought, however, didn’t diminish his worry or his sense that he was on the verge of losing control.

At the sight of Alan walking towards him, Evan’s heartbeat quickened. Was Charlie ok? Was she coming out of the anesthesia well?

“How is she?” Evan asked anxiously even before Alan could sit across from him.

Alan smiled. “She’s doing fine. She came out of the anesthesia without a problem. Before too long she’ll be moved to a private room.”

A huge sigh of relief escaped Evan’s lips. “Thank god. Thank you for what you did. I’m sorry for dragging you away from your daughter’s birthday party. There was no way I could have performed the surgery.”

“There’s no need to thank me. I’m thankful that she didn’t have any other serious injuries. As it is, she has a very long and difficult road to recuperation. There are a lot of decisions that are going to have to be made.”

“Definitely. She will need a lot of support. More support, I fear, than she’ll ever want to accept.”

Alan nodded, looking at his watch, then glancing up at his anxious friend. “Charlie should be in her room by now. How about a brief visit?”

A grateful smile spread across Evan’s lips, reaching his eyes. “Let’s go.”

Evan’s elation, however, soon turned to fear. What if she wouldn’t see him? What would he do then?

***

Taking a deep breath, pain shot through her chest. Jerking, she rolled onto her right side. Then an explosion of pain rocketed through her lower back, into her hips and down her leg. She cried out in agony.

The nurse moved aside, allowing Evan to grab Charlie’s hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m here, Charlie. You’re going to be ok.”

She used all the strength she could gather to squeeze his hand back. “Don’t leave me here alone.” She forced her groggy eyes open. “Please…”

Her green eyes were glassy and full of pain and confusion.

He leaned close to her and brushed her hair away from her face. “I’ll be right here. You need to rest, Charlie. Get some rest.”

She slowly blinked and nodded her head. It felt so good to have him here, for his warm hand to be covering hers. She almost felt secure. Almost.

Seeing Evan’s face and his warm smile in her mind’s eye, she drifted off to sleep.

****

Evan’s gut was tied into knots. Charlie looked so pale and drawn, so week. For several long minutes he silently stood beside her bed, holding her hand and caressing her cool cheek with the back of his hand. Over the past few months he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed even the feel of her soft skin.

Alan touched his shoulder. “You need to get some rest.”

“I can’t leave her, Alan,” he said shakily. “She’s terrified.”

His colleague nodded. “I understand. She needs you here. And you, my friend, need to be here with her.” Nodding to his left he said, “That couch probably makes out into a bed. Sleep on that.”

Taking one last long look at Charlie, Evan reluctantly released her hand. The fatigue that had been absent only minutes ago seemed to come out of nowhere. “I’ll be right back,” he told her, his voice warm and soft. “I’ve got to find a pillow and blanket.”

When Charlie awoke the daze and confusion of the hours before was gone. Glancing around the room, panic gripped her. She hadn’t been dreaming. The horrible pain and terror she had experienced had been all too real. What had happened? Why was she here?

She was in immense pain – her lower back, hips, legs all throbbed relentlessly. She tried to move to a more comfortable position, but a shot of pain ran through her hip and down her leg. She cried out in agony.

Evan reached beside her and pressed the call button on the bedrail. When the nurse answered, he spared little time informing her that Charlie needed pain medication NOW.

“Morphine,” the nurse said as she uncapped the syringe and shot the contents into her IV. “It will only be a few minutes then you’ll start feeling better.

The pain eased enough for Charlie to sleep a good portion of the morning and into the afternoon. When she finally woke, it was to a dull but bearable throb. Her room was empty. Evan was gone.

For a moment she thought perhaps the morphine made her dream that Evan was there. But she spotted a black leather duffle bag in the corner of her room. Evan’s duffle bag. She hadn’t been dreaming. Evan had been there.

She remembered clearly now. Evan had been there by her side when she was in such terrible pain on two different occasions. She could remember him speaking to her in warm, soft tones, feeling the warm touch of his hand upon hers, his hands brushing her hair out of her face.

How long had she been here? What had happened to her?

Charlie’s gaze moved to the window beside her bed. The thick curtains were open. The sky was a beautiful shade of pink from the sunset. Bright light reflected off the pristine snow that had accumulated in the leafless trees and on the ground in nearby Forest Park.

Her memory of the night before returned in a flurry. She had been driving her car on her way home from Adam’s house. It had been snowing heavily. He had invited her to stay the night, but she had declined. She had been afraid the invitation was for much more than sleeping on the couch.

So, she left, the snow falling so thick she could barely see. Instead of pulling off the road, she had kept driving on because she’d only been a few miles from home. She could recall a pair of headlights coming at her in her lane. She’d swerved. After that she couldn’t recall anything. Closing her eyes, she unsuccessfully tried to clear her thoughts of those frightening memories. But they were too raw, too fresh to be cast aside.

Charlie heard the door to her room open and she swung her head around.

Evan was standing there, just in the doorway, looking at her, as if he wasn’t sure he was welcome there, wasn’t sure that she wanted him there. Though it had been months since she’d seen him last, it was wonderful to finally see him again. She never thought she would. It was comforting that he was there with her, that he didn’t hate her.

She had yet to forgive him and, truthfully, she didn’t think it possible she ever would. The person she had thought was Evan was in truth a big lie, someone not real at all. How could she ever trust him again? How could she know which Evan she was seeing?

Seeing him again was more painful than she had ever anticipated, too fraught with emotional peril. Although she was glad he was there, a small part of her wished he would leave and not come back. What would she say to him? How could she put aside what had happened?

“Charlie.”

He now stood several feet away from her. Dark circles smudged the skin below his eyes. His hair was mussed and clothing rumpled. He looked tired and bedraggled. Like he’d been up all night.

She stared at him for several long moments, drinking in the sight of him. “You were here this morning.”

He nodded. “Actually, I was here when you first came in last night.” Evan ran a shaky hand through his hair. “You scared me half to death Charlie. What happened? How did you get into the accident?”

He was staring straight into her eyes and she longed to look away, but she kept her gaze fixed on him. “Someone came into my lane head-on and I swerved. That’s all I remember.” She winced in pain when she tried to reposition herself. “What happened to me, Evan? Am I going to be ok?”

“You have some bruises, a few lacerations on your arms and legs. The most serious injury you sustained was a fractured hip. You had surgery for that. You were very lucky that was all the injury you sustained.”

“Did you do the surgery?”

Evan shook his head and took a ragged breath. “I couldn’t, Charlie. I was on call when you came in and initially treated you, but I couldn’t do the surgery. I was so shaken from seeing you hurt that I called Alan in to do the surgery.”