West of Nowhere (23 page)

Amber was the one who disappeared most evenings. On the nights she wasn’t in class, she joined them only for dinner and spent the rest of her time studying in the camper. Joy hoped that would change when she finished her GED, though she’d probably sign up for something else after that.

“You know, Amber’s smart about lots of things. You should ask her sometime about Gus Holley. She actually knows him.”

“I don’t care about Gus Holley anymore. His music sucks.”

Joy shook her head. “That is not a nice word. Can you choose a different way to say that, please?”

“I don’t like it.”

“That’s better. I was going to see about getting tickets for the three of us to go to Gus Holley’s concert next month, but it sounds like I only need two.”

“I want to go! I love Gus Holley. I was just kidding. I know all his songs.”

Joy laughed and tickled her through the covers. “Sweet dreams. Love you.”

They signed off with a kiss to the fingertips and a touch and she returned to the living room.

“I’m going to bed, Pop. You need anything?”

He tipped his head in a gesture to have her come closer. In a voice too low for Madison to overhear, he asked, “What’s with all this lying stuff? She told Amber this morning you said she could walk to school by herself. That didn’t sound right to me so I pulled rank and said she couldn’t.”

“I never told her that.” She slumped on the couch and ran her hands through her hair. “I think she’s just testing her limits, seeing what she can get away with. She backs down right away when you call her on it. By the way, Syd also told me she’d caught her rummaging through her drawers too.”

“No kidding. I found one of my old navy hatpins on her book bag this morning. I didn’t mind her having it but not after she’d swiped it out of my dresser, so I took it back.”

“I’ll talk to her about that tomorrow. Who knows what all she had to do to get Syd’s attention? It may take a while to break her of those bad habits.”

For now, she needed to give Amber a heads-up that Madison was prone to bending the truth, and she should use her best judgment if there was any doubt. Getting Madison up in the morning and ready for school was above and beyond the job of taking care of her father, but circumstances were different now that they were trying to be a family.

Joy asked, “How is she dealing with Amber? Are they getting along?”

“They aren’t smacking each other,” her father deadpanned.

“Not exactly a ringing endorsement.”

“Madison can be contrary over trivial stuff but Amber keeps her cool. It may take them a while to become friends, but that won’t be Amber’s fault.”

“Sounds like I need to talk to her too.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I never thought I’d like Amber all that much when she first got here, but the little scamp grows on you. They’ll work it out.”

That much Joy understood. Amber was a totally different person from the miserable destitute she’d picked up in Louisville, all because she and her pop had shown faith in her and given her a chance. Madison needed that faith now but she too would come around eventually. Amber would win her over the way she’d won everyone else.

* * *

A faint light shone through the camper window as Amber slowly closed the back door so it wouldn’t make a noise. Not only was she worried about waking Joy, there was also the matter of Madison, whose bedroom was just a few feet away. She was later than usual getting home but she had big news. Unfortunately, it was news that would have to wait until morning.

In the living room Shep snored softly in his recliner. A college football game droned in the background.

As quietly as she could, she took Skippy out to the front yard for a quick break, and then steered a sleepy Shep to bed. This used to be her private time, the only window of the day that was hers alone. She’d always relished carrying a snack into the bedroom with a supermarket magazine on country music stars, poring over pictures of Gus Holley onstage or out with his gorgeous wife Michelle. The nostalgia for her days in Nashville was a mere remnant now. Her new life was in Oakland and her private time was in Joy’s arms.

On her way to bed she couldn’t resist taking a moment to gaze at the sleeping child, whose innocent expression was as soft as a rose petal—the polar opposite of the thorn she’d be when she showed up in the morning for breakfast. Amber straightened her blanket and tucked her stuffed rabbit underneath.

Out in the camper, she slithered into her nightshirt and crawled into bed beside Joy, who immediately rolled over and kissed her on the forehead.

“I thought you’d never get here.”

“You aren’t even awake.”

“Mmm…I’m awake enough.”

Enough for what, Amber wondered. Always ready for a sexual adventure, she reached under Joy’s shirt to tickle her stomach.

“Not that awake. But I miss you on the nights you go to class.”

“I’m sure Madison appreciates having you all to herself every now and then. I know I would.” Even in the dark, she could tell her statement had gotten Joy’s attention. “Don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not saying I’m jealous or anything…just that I look forward to being out here alone with you when we’re both awake.”

“Me too, sweetheart. We didn’t get a lot of time to ourselves before Madison came along. I’m sorry about that.”

“It couldn’t be helped.” It was quite the benevolent response, and technically true. That didn’t mean she liked having Madison around. In fact, it bugged her that Joy hadn’t even talked to her before dashing off to bring her back to California. Not that she would have put up any real resistance—other than to remind Joy that her experience in caring for children left a lot to be desired—but it would have been nice had her feelings been considered.

Joy’s arms tightened around her and another kiss landed on her head. “I’m so glad you understand that. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”

Amber knew but didn’t want to think about it. No way would Joy turn her back on Madison, certainly not for a romance barely off the ground.

“I never dreamed I’d wake up someday and be somebody’s mother,” Joy said. “I had eight weeks of boot camp in the navy and that was like growing up overnight. Now I feel like a raw recruit again, but eight weeks of training with Madison won’t be near enough. It’s going to take me months to get the hang of this.”

“More like years,” Amber said. “Think of all you have to look forward to…driver’s license, tattoos, birth control…”

“Oh, please. I wonder how many parents actually pray for their daughters to be lesbians.”

“Don’t know, but I catch myself every now and then thanking God for the fact that you are.”

“Same here. Which reminds me…I have a plan for tomorrow night. It’s Friday, so I’ll let Madison stay up an extra half hour, but when nine o’clock comes, we’re putting the old man to bed and coming out here to get reacquainted, even if it takes all night.”

Just her luck, Amber realized grimly. “I’m not so sure about the all night part.”

“You’re tired of me already?”

“I was going to tell you tomorrow. I passed the math pretest I took last Tuesday, so Lee thinks I’m ready to take the real GED on Saturday. It’s an all-day test, but I won’t have to go back to class again until I get the results. That should be about two weeks.”

“Wow, you weren’t even in class a month. I told Madison you were smart. You ought to be the one helping with her homework. I’ve forgotten nearly all the math I ever learned.”

In the first place, Amber had offered to help, only to be rebuffed by Madison, who she suspected might be sandbagging in order to get more of Joy’s attention. And in the second place, she was sitting for the GED on Saturday. That was
her
big news, and it bugged her how Joy had changed the subject and made it about Madison.

This crap was getting old.

* * *

Joy groped in the dark for the buzzing alarm clock that occupied the same shelf as her gun safe. After a yawn and a stretch, she settled her arms around Amber, who had rolled into her chest to snuggle.

The last few weeks had brought rapid changes for both of them. They’d barely had time to establish their relationship before Madison moved in, but Amber had taken it all in stride. Joy felt lucky to have found a loving partner who could help with the challenges of parenting.

“Hey, sweetie. Wake up a minute.”

Amber wriggled out of her grasp and sat up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, relax.” She guided Amber back to the pillow and kissed her. “It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. I’ve been so busy that I forgot to tell you something important. I love you.”

Several seconds of silence passed before Amber reacted, and not with an expected smile or hug. Instead, her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head with what looked like disbelief. “That’s not something I’ve heard a lot in my life.”

Of course it wasn’t, not with a cruel family or guys who had used her up and turned her out. There was no telling how much Amber could give someone who returned her loyalty and trust.

“You’re going to hear it a lot more now,” Joy said. “I’m so proud of you, and I’m grateful for all you’ve done for my pop, and now you’re doing it for Madison too. You’re a good person and I’m lucky I found you.”

“I love you too. You’re the only one who’s ever believed in me.”

Of all the things she could have said, nothing else would have made Joy feel as proud. Putting her faith in someone who’d shown so little aptitude and initiative had been a huge risk, but she knew from the navy that giving a slacker responsibility was usually all it took to bring out their best. “That’s because you made a believer out of me. I can’t wait to see what you do next.”

“If you had an extra fifteen minutes, you wouldn’t have to wait.”

Joy reached beneath the covers and began stroking the warm skin on the inside of Amber’s thigh. “Breakfast is so overrated.”

Sweat poured off Shep’s brow as he turned his chair on the concrete driveway between the carport and the deck. “How many is that?”

“Nine down, six more to go.” Amber watched his endeavor with admiration. Only three days after getting clearance to start wheeling himself, he was up to fifteen laps, with a goal of adding five more every day. “What is it about thirty-three laps that makes it your magic number?”

“The parade route’s a half-mile long,” he answered, huffing. “I’ve been carrying one end of the banner for American Legion Post Number Nine for the last twenty-one years. No way am I going to let Brady Hawes take my spot. His chair’s electric, for Christ’s sake.”

That stubborn pride ran in the Shepard family, Amber noted. Joy had freaked out when she’d found her dress pants too tight, enough to tack on an hour to the end of every day so she could stop at the gym. Apparently, this Veterans Day Parade was a big deal in Alameda.

As Shep approached her for the turn, she held out a handful of Goobers and dropped them into his open mouth. “Too bad I can’t run along beside you in the parade. You’d do anything for Goobers. I noticed Madison likes these too. I had to hide them in the vegetable bin. No chance of her finding them in there.”

“She’s a pistol, that one,” he wheezed. “Never saw a kid adapt so fast to being in a new place.”

Of course she’d adapted, Amber thought. Who wouldn’t with that kind of red carpet treatment?

Shep paused to catch his breath. “It must have been tough on her with that worthless mother of hers…probably talks to her more now on the computer than she did when they lived together. And that sorry excuse for a boyfriend…how did the navy end up with a cad like that? He’s just the sort of asshat who’ll put himself first on a ship when he gets in a jam.”

Amber leaned against the ramp to the deck, cupping her hand to light a cigarette. Seconds later, she savored the heady rush of nicotine hitting her bloodstream.

Shep turned at the carport and started toward her. “Hey, I just realized that’s the first time I’ve seen you light up today.”

She’d been trying to quit, but hadn’t told anyone in case she failed. “That’s because I’ve cut back. I’m down to only five a day, but these cravings are driving me up a wall. I might have to postpone this till I get finished with all my school stuff. It makes it hard to concentrate.”

“That’s nuts! You’ve already got the hardest part of quitting behind you. Why the hell would you want to go through it again?”

“Because that’s bullshit. The hardest part is when you get to zero.” She took another deep drag and blew it away from him as he approached. “I’m still trying to figure Madison out. I can’t tell if she likes me or not.”

“She probably doesn’t, but it’s not personal.”

“She told you that?” Amber asked anxiously.

“Nope.” He wiped his face with a towel before spinning and starting back toward the carport. “You upset the order of things. That kid loves me to pieces, but I practically fall off the face of the earth when Joy walks through the door. That’s what you’re up against.”

“I know, and that’s why I get the hell out of the way. I don’t even show my face until it’s time for dinner. Then I clean up the kitchen and go hide in the camper until she goes to bed. What more can I do?”

“Could be that’s part of the problem. You need to let Madison know you belong here too. Stick around and watch some TV with us after dinner, or maybe we could all play a card game. Don’t let her shove you out of the picture. The best way to show her you aren’t a threat is to hang out with us.”

“Pfft! I don’t see what that’s going to accomplish. Every time I come around, she latches onto Joy like a magnet.”

“Yeah, but you’ve got to give Joy a chance to tell Madison what she wants. It’s her job to balance all the parts.”

“Joy doesn’t need that kind of stress at the end of the day.”

“Horse hockey. Joy handles stress just fine. Besides, how else is the kid…going to learn that you being here is okay?” he said, huffing as he spun his wheels forward. “Joy has to show her…and she has to set down some rules about how to behave. She can’t…teach her anything about you if you’re out here in the camper with your head up your ass.”