Well of the Damned (17 page)

“We’re
taking both carriages and a wagon for the supplies.” Feanna
arranged her skirts as she took a seat in the chair nearest the cold
fireplace. “I’ll ride in one, and I’m bringing a
few books, though I suspect I’ll beg one of the ladies to ride
with me at times for someone to talk to. I invited Liera to come with
me, but she didn’t want to leave GJ. He’s been awfully
despondent recently, missing his papa, you know.”

Gavin
nodded as he sat beside her. He’d noticed his young nephew’s
demeanor at supper the last few nights, though he had no comfort to
offer aside from a kind word and loving embrace. “What about
the girls and Trevick?”

“They’ve
been begging to come, but that’s too long a ride for the girls,
and Trevick would miss his lessons. I prefer them to stay behind,
though that’ll just stir up more rumors.”

“What
rumors?”

She
looked at her hands in her lap. “About how I care more for the
orphans than I do my own children. It isn’t true. The orphans
need me. My— Our children are safe in a loving home. They want
for nothing. When every orphaned child has what he needs, then my
work will be done.”

Gavin
was glad she had such an important mission. He just wished it didn’t
require her to travel all across Thendylath.

“The
rumors still wound me, though. I wish people weren’t so cruel.”

“Listen,”
he said, “rumors’ll spread about us, our children, our
friends, and anything else that entertains people. We’re large
in the public’s eye. As long as we’re honest with each
other, no rumors can harm us.” He was reminded about Keturah
Kinshield. This was a good time to bring the matter up to his wife.
He wouldn’t want her to learn about him having an illegitimate
child through rumors. He took her hands in his. “I have
something to talk to you about. It’s not a rumor, but it could
become one, and I wanted you to hear the truth from me first.”

“What
is it, dear?”

“I
need you to promise you won’t speak of this to anyone but me,”
Gavin said. He looked deeply into her eyes to make it plain that what
he had to say was serious and private.

“Of course, love. What’s
on your mind? You can trust me.”

“And
I do.” Gavin took a deep breath before continuing. She wouldn’t
take this news well. “A woman came here with a daughter she
claimed was sired by me.”

Feanna’s
right hand flew to her mouth, but she said nothing.

“Except
she didn’t know me. She said the man looked like me but without
the scars. For eight years, this man gave her a stipend every month
to pay for food and clothing for his daughter, all the while claiming
to be me. Three months ago, the money stopped coming.”

“It
can’t be,” Feanna said. “He wouldn’t. I knew
him. He loved his wife. He wouldn’t have done such a thing.”

“I
thought I knew him too. He was my brother!” As he spoke, Gavin
realized he was angry not just at Rogan for using his name, but at
himself for Rogan’s death. There was so much Rogan had left
undone, and now this. Worst of all, people could make up lies about
him, and he was unable to defend himself or explain how the hell this
woman could have such a credible claim.

“Do
you have a cousin, perchance?” Feanna said. “Another
Kinshield man who looks enough like you or Rogan to make a convincing
claim?”

“My
father’s brother had two daughters, and his sister had a son
who died in childhood. Papa had a cousin who had a son, but he’s
been dead for over ten years. Distant cousins, maybe, but her eyes—
She looks like a Kinshield. She looks like she could be
my
daughter.”

“Is
it possible she is, and you’ve simply—”

“No,”
Gavin said firmly. “The girl was conceived while I was married
to Talisha. I was never unfaithful. Never.” To even think about
being unfaithful to his first wife made his stomach turn.

“What
if it’s true? Oh, Gavin, this is terrible.”

Gavin
hung his head. “I know. I still got to acknowledge her as
mine.”

Feanna
gasped, her eyes open wide. “And give her a claim to the
throne? What about our baby, Gavin?” She put her hand on her
growing belly. “He’s your legitimate son.”

“I’m
not talking about naming this girl as my heiress, only acknowledging
her as a Kinshield.” He looked pleadingly into her eyes. “And
as my daughter. To protect Rogan’s family.”

Feanna
pulled her hand out of his. “To protect the reputation of a
dead man, what will that do to your own? You would sacrifice your
honor for his? He’s the one who stepped out on his wife, not
you. What does that do to Talisha’s name? You would dishonor
her too?”

“No,
but what am I supposed to do? Destroy my nephews’ memory
o’their father as an honorable man? And Liera’s? He was a
good man, and he provided for all his children. He died because o’me,
and so it’s up to me to continue providing for them. If that
means I got to acknowledge his bastard as mine, then that’s
what I got to do.”

Feanna
gripped his forearm. “But Gavin, you don’t have to do
that. You can provide for her the same way Rogan did –
secretly. Send her money, ensure she has enough to eat, clothes to
wear, and a roof over her head. That’s all you owe her, and no
more.”

“Doesn’t
she deserve to know her family or who her father was? Doesn’t
she deserve the kind o’life his sons have now?”

“That’s
not what I’m saying, and you know it. I’m begging you not
to destroy our family to protect Rogan. It was his mistake, not
yours.”

“I
understand, but Rogan’s dead and beyond my protection. I’m
trying to protect his widow and the three boys he left behind.”

Feanna
threw up her hands dramatically and stood. Gavin stood too. “Do
whatever you think is best. Obviously, I’m not going to change
your mind.” She started towards the door, and when Gavin
reached for her and begged her to wait, she jerked her arm away and
stormed out.

His
eldest nephew, twelve-year-old Jaesh, tall for his age like Gavin and
Rogan had been, was standing outside the door with a startled
expression, following Feanna with his gaze. He turned to offer Gavin
a shallow smile as he approached.

Gavin exhaled his tension and
smiled back. How much of that had his nephew heard? “How now,
Jaesh. You finished your lessons for today?”

Jaesh
nodded. “Can you spare a minute? I’m sure you’re
busy. I could come back later.”

“Never
too busy for you.” Gavin sat back down. “Take a seat.”

Jaesh
sat in the chair Feanna had just vacated and fidgeted his hands. “I
wanted to ask you something. Mama said you have magic that lets you
talk to people in times gone by.”

“Yeh.
I call it back-traveling. I can travel to any day that’s
already happened as if it were a place. That’s how I met King
Arek.”

Jaesh
leaned forward expectantly. “Could you talk to my papa?”

Gavin
should have anticipated this, but he hadn’t, and now he was
left with an empty mind and a heavy tongue. He cleared his throat and
rubbed his brow, trying to think of a way to let the boy down gently.
“It’s possible,” he admitted, “but there are
certain things I can’t tell him.”

“What
kinds o’things? Could you tell him I miss him?” Jaesh’s
eyes moistened.

Gavin
put a meaty paw on Jaesh’s shoulder. “I can’t tell
him anything that could change the future. If I told him you miss
him, he would ask me why. From his point o’view, you’re
within shouting distance — he’d wonder why you missed
him. If he figured out he’d be dead soon, he might be tempted
to do something different.”

“But
that would be good, right?”

“As
much as I want to change the past, I can’t.”

Jaesh’s
face fell. “So you can’t save him?”

Gavin
shook his head sadly. “If I could, I would’ve done it
already. The magic doesn’t work that way.”

The
boy hung his head, and Gavin’s heart sank. He missed his
brother too. There was, of course, the matter of Keturah, and Gavin
planned to question Rogan about her. “I’ll tell you
what,” he said. “If I get a chance to talk to Rogan, I’ll
remind him how much you love him.”

The
boy looked up at him with an odd expression. “I wonder…
There was a time when he came to me while I was cutting duck feathers
– he sat down in front o’me looking as if he was going to
cry, and said, ‘I know, son.’ He said he loved me too, no
matter what.” He looked as though he wanted to say something
else, but his face clouded, and in that moment he became more a child
and less a boy on the edge of manhood.

Gavin
stood and pulled him into an embrace. The boy’s shoulders
shook, his arms around Gavin’s waist tightened, and his hands
gripped Gavin’s shirt. Gavin felt his own eyes burn with unshed
tears. He’d wept for his murdered brother once, but he hadn’t
let himself cry again since. In the back of his mind, he knew he
could visit Rogan anytime he wanted to. Jaesh, Asia, GJ and Liera
didn’t have that luxury. “Listen, I’m leaving for
Calsojourn tomorrow. I’ll stop in Saliria and pay a visit to
your papa. I’ll do my best to let him know.”

Jaesh
pulled back and wiped his face before letting Gavin see it. “May
I come with you?”

“I
can’t bring you with me back-traveling, if that’s what
you’re thinking,” he said. “Besides, I got to take
a criminal with me, so it’s best if you stay here.”

“I
won’t get in the way. Please, Uncle Gavin. Life is dull here.
There’s only so much learning a boy can do in a week.”

Gavin
chuckled and squeezed Jaesh’s shoulder. “Let me think on
it, but don’t get your hopes up. My answer’ll probably
still be no. Feanna’s going to Ambryce tomorrow. If you want,
I’ll ask her to take you with her.”

Jaesh
made a face. “I love Aunt Feanna, but traveling on a woman’s
journey wasn’t what I had in mind.”

Gavin
returned to his chair behind the desk. “I understand, believe
me.”

That
put a smile on his nephew’s face. He went to the door. “My
thanks, Uncle Gavin. Until supper, my liege.” He bowed more
gracefully than Gavin thought a common-born boy could. Apparently he
was receiving lessons in more than just reading and numbers.

“Until
then.”

Chapter 20

They’d
had a dining table crafted that was large enough to seat Gavin,
Feanna and their four adopted children, Edan and Daia, Liera and her
three sons, plus four guests who varied from one meal to the next.
Sometimes guards joined them, or a visiting lordover and his wife, or
Gavin’s warrant knight friends who’d come to remind the
king of their friendship. From time to time they dined just the
twelve of them. Gavin sat at the table’s head, and Feanna
always sat on his right so they could hold hands beneath the table
while they ate.

Generally
the children gathered at the far end and the adults grouped nearest
to Gavin, but that evening eight-year-old GJ claimed the seat to
Gavin’s left. He ate quietly, neither listening to the
conversation going on around him nor participating or starting one.
Several times, he set down his spoon and gently touched Gavin’s
hand or arm as if to reassure himself his uncle was really there.

After
supper, the extended Kinshield family gathered in a room in which two
sofas, and several chairs and stools lined the four walls, and
pillows were piled in the middle of the floor for the children to lie
or sit on as they pleased. Gavin thought of it as the Family Room,
because it was where his family spent time together talking or
telling stories to the children to prepare them for bed-time. The
boys often asked for stories about battling beyonders, never noticing
the way Jilly would shrink into a corner at the mere mention of the
monsters, even though Gavin had put an end to their threat forever
more. This evening in particular, GJ wanted a story about his father,
and he moved from his own seat to climb into Gavin’s lap.

Gavin
supposed he provided them a special connection to their father
because, except for Gavin’s facial scars and missing eyetooth,
they’d looked so much alike. GJ closed his eyes and clutched
Gavin with all his might. “I miss you, Papa,” he
whispered.

Gavin
felt like a boulder was sitting on his chest, crushing his heart. He
squeezed GJ closer, bent his mouth to his young nephew’s ear,
and whispered, “I miss you too, son.” When he lifted his
head once again, he caught Liera’s tear-filled eyes watching
them.

They
took cues from the two youngest girls, Jilly and Tansa. When they
fell asleep on the floor pillows, it was time to send them to their
beds. With his magic, Gavin made each of them a softly glowing light
ball to carry to their rooms. As light as a feather, they emitted no
heat, and so they were safe to hold, though they weren’t sturdy
enough to stand up to poking and pulling. The older children, Jaesh,
Trevick and Asiawyth, made a game of racing each other while carrying
their light ball carefully enough that it didn’t fall from
their open palms. GJ joined in, but he tried to walk too fast and had
to stop to scoop his light ball back into his hand.