Wednesday (Timeless Series #3) (17 page)

Bluegrass

Francesca

“Since when did you get into bluegrass?” I walked beside Kyle with my hand in his. He usually listened to rock or alternative music, and to know he was interested in a completely different sound was a surprise.

“When I heard this band, I really liked them. They’re local.”

“When did this happen?”

“A few months ago. I was on a date and they came on the stage.”

When he talked about the women before me, it didn’t bother me at all. Not once did I feel jealous. I wasn’t sure why. Whenever Hawke’s old lovers were mentioned, it made me uncomfortable. “Cool.”

We walked inside to the loud sounds of a banjo and a washboard. They reminded me of Mumford and Sons with their own twist. We got our drinks from the bar then took a seat at a table.

I nodded my head along with the music. “They’re pretty good.”

“I told you.” He rested his arm around my shoulders and leaned in close to me. “I thought you would like them.”

I sipped my drink and moved my hand to his thigh.

“I like it when you touch me.”

“I always touch you.”

“Yeah…but things like that are different.”

“How?”

“It’s not sexual. It’s affectionate.”

I didn’t understand the difference.

He pressed a kiss to my hairline before he drank his beer. “Axel and I had a good time at the game the other night.”

“Yeah?” I forgot about that. “Good game?”

“It was.”

“Axel didn’t drive you crazy?”

“No, he’s a pretty cool dude. I see the similarities between you.”

I stuck out my tongue. “Don’t insult me.”

He took a long drink of his beer before he set it on the table. “So…you’ve been talking to Hawke?”

Why did Axel have to throw me under the bus? “I’m sure Axel made it sound worse than it really was.”

“He’s been showing up to your shop to talk about getting back together.” Now he wasn’t as affectionate. The warmth was absent from his voice. Despite the calmness of his tone, his irritation shined through. “More than once.”

I kept my mouth shut because I was in dangerous territory. The fact I didn’t tell him this myself made it seem like I had something to hide—even though I didn’t. “The only reason I didn’t mention it was because it wasn’t worth mentioning. I told him there was never any possibility of us getting back together. Whether he believed me or not isn’t my problem.”

Kyle stared at my profile, watching every expression that formed on my face. “It doesn’t sound like he’s given up.”

“Again, not my problem.”

“Well, it’s my problem,” he snapped. “I don’t want some guy wooing my girlfriend every day.”

“It’s not wooing. It’s him trying to justify his behavior. There’s not a single excuse that can redeem his behavior. We all fall on hard times. That doesn’t mean we can treat people however we want.”

Kyle drank from his beer again, downing nearly half of it. “I don’t want you to deal with this anymore.”

“He doesn’t bother me.”

“Well, he bothers me.”

“Eventually, he’ll get the hint and throw in the towel. You have nothing to be worried about, Kyle. I’m not the cheating type.”

“I never said you were.” His voice turned gentle, like he realized how aggressive he was being. “I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what are you worried about? I said I wouldn’t get back together with him so you have nothing to stress about.”

He dropped his hand from my shoulders then rested it on the table. His fingers played with the coaster on the table, spinning it across the surface. “With all due respect, you said that last time too.”

Now I was eating my own words.

“If you want to be with him again, it’s okay. But don’t waste my time.”

“I’m not wasting your time, Kyle.”

He searched for assurance in my gaze before he looked away. “Then why did you arrange for Axel and Hawke to work it out? Why did you care?”

“Because Hawke has been a good friend to my brother. Axel needs that in his life. I don’t care about what happened between Hawke and I. Axel should have everything he needs regardless of how it affects me.”

His eyes drifted to my chest. “Then why do you still wear that, Francesca?” He knew exactly what it was without ever asking me about it. He just knew—somehow.

My hand automatically flew to my locket, the one Hawke gave to me for Christmas. Since that day, I’d never taken it off. The one time I tried to, I chickened out and stopped. It was such a beautiful gift and it was too difficult for me to part with, even after all this time. “Because I like it.”

“What do you like about it?” he asked coldly. “That it has the engraving ‘we are forever’ on the outside? Or because it has a picture of the two of you on the inside?”

My fingers felt the warm metal as humiliation washed over me. It truly was pathetic that I still wore it, still carried a piece of him with me everywhere I went. But then I realized something. “How did you know that?”

“I have eyes.”

“No. How did you know what was inside of it?” Axel wouldn’t have told him that.

He looked away and rested both elbows on the table. “Lucky guess.”

Lucky guess, my ass. “You looked at it when I was sleeping, didn’t you?”

He didn’t meet my gaze, the guilt written everywhere.

“I can’t believe you would go through my stuff like that. Do you look at my phone too?”

“Don’t get mad at me. You shouldn’t be wearing that.”

“I shouldn’t be
what
?” I snapped. “When did you start deciding what I should and should not wear?” The fun evening turned to shit really quick. Our relationship was perfect until Hawke came up. He always sabotaged our time together without even being present.

Kyle remained silent.

“I asked you a question.”

“How would you feel if I wore a ring an old girlfriend gave me?” He turned back to me, his face starting to turn red.

“I wouldn’t care.”

“Oh really?” He gave me an incredulous look.

“Yes, really. I told you I already had my great love. I’ve never misled you about that. If you can’t handle that, maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

“Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t.”

“Then go.”

“I will.” He left the seat and threw some money on the table.

I held my ground and didn’t show him how hurt I was. I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Uh…is this a bad time?” Out of thin air, Axel appeared. And he wasn’t alone.

Hawke was standing beside him, holding a beer in his hand. His eyes were locked to mine and he could read all my emotions even though he just walked into the conversation. He picked up on every little detail, knowing I was dying inside.

I didn’t look at him because I didn’t want to give anything else away.

“Not at all.” Kyle hopped back into the seat and pretended everything was fine. “Arguing about money. You know, what couples do.” He didn’t look at Hawke, acting like he didn’t exist.

“Well, can we join you?” Axel asked. “All the tables are full.”

This was a terrible idea, but I didn’t see any way around it. If Hawke and Axel were to remain friends, I’d have to deal with him from time to time. I could handle that but I wasn’t sure if Kyle could.

Kyle saved face and pretended everything was perfectly fine. His arm returned around my shoulders where it was a moment ago, silently claiming me. He grabbed his beer and took a drink, oddly calm.

It was like nothing ever happened.

Axel pivoted his body and watched the band on the stage.

Hawke did the same thing, resting his leg on the opposite knee. His eyes weren’t on me but I could feel his envelopment anyway. With just his presence, he was comforting me, calming me after the fight I just had.

I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the fact he could still communicate with me like that. Wordlessly, we still had conversations.

Axel leaned toward him. “I’ve always wanted to learn the banjo.”

“Really?” Hawke asked. “I can’t picture it.”

“I think Marie would be into it.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’m sure she’s happy with the man she’s got.” Hawke crossed his arms over his chest. “Where is she, anyway?”

“Had to work late.” The sigh Axel released showed just how sad he was. “Her office is so lucky.”

Kyle gripped my shoulder so tightly it was almost uncomfortable.

I couldn’t speak to him, not the way I did with Hawke, so I rested my hand on his thigh.

Immediately, he relaxed at the touch, like that was exactly what he needed.

I sipped my wine then clanked it against his glass, trying to get him to loosen up further. “To good music.”

He turned my way and smiled slightly. “To good company.”

***

Kyle left money in the tab then stood up. “We’ll leave after I use the restroom.”

“Alright.”

He pushed through the crowd just to reach the other side.

“Man, now I have to pee.” Axel set his empty glass down then followed Kyle on their difficult journey through the throng of people.

Hawke remained behind, his unwavering stared fixed on me.

I tried to find something else to look at until I realized there was nothing. He was the only person in my line of vision. With a gentle sigh, I turned my gaze in his direction.

He wore a gray t-shirt with dark jeans. His body was thick and hard like it’d always been. Every muscle in his body was sculpted and defined. Sometimes, he reminded me of a gladiator.

He stared at me hard, sharing a million thoughts at once. I could feel his pain from watching me with Kyle. It was heavy and suffocating. He was drowning in misery, not jealousy. He had no right to complain or think less of me, but he still ached. “I hope you weren’t fighting because of me.”

For the oddest reason, I wanted to laugh. “I know you don’t mean that.”

“Actually, I do.”

“Then that doesn’t make any sense.”

“I want you to be happy. But I also want you for myself. So yes, it is contradictory.”

I eyed the bathroom and hoped one of the guys would come back soon.

“I can tell he’s threatened by me.”

“He has no reason to be.” If Hawke kept popping up everywhere like this, it would be really difficult for me to have a relationship…with anyone. “I told him I would never go back to you.”

“But you said that last time, didn’t you?”

I clenched my jaw in irritation. My past decisions were haunting my current credibility. Neither Hawke nor Kyle believed a word I said. “This is different.”

“No, it’s not. We still have that same connection. It’s never going to go away.”

“The connection was never the problem. You know that.”

“I know I had a lot of emotional baggage—”

“That was never the problem either. Leaving was. I refuse to be with a man when he doesn’t treat me right—regardless of my feelings.”

Hawke remained absolutely still. People still carried on conversations around us, and music played in the background. To anyone watching us, it would seem like we were having a conversation about the weather. “When my world came crashing down, I made a lot of stupid decisions. I’ve never known that kind of hatred. If my father hadn’t had that heart attack, I would have murdered him myself—that’s how insane I was.”

“Stop making excuses.”

“But before that, I was everything you deserved. I made you happy and supported you in every way that mattered. I was faithful to you and always true. What we had was a goddamn fairytale. Even after we broke up, I remained faithful to you. My mind snapped but my heart never stopped beating for you. I walked away from us because I was afraid of what I might do to you. I bought a loaded gun and prepared to murder someone. Imagine what might have happened to you.”

My heart softened at his words but I tried to remain strong. “Hawke, you were upset with your father—not me. You would never do anything to me. When will that get through your head?”

He took a deep breath.

“I pissed you off, got in your way, and crawled on your back to get you to stay. Did you raise a hand to me?”

He remained silent.

“Did you?”

“No.”

“But you keep punishing me for something that didn’t even happen. I always get the bad end of the stick. I’m tired of it.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“Then just drop this. Move on with your life and find someone else. You can have any girl you want.”

“There’s only one that I want.” He held my gaze, oblivious to everyone around us.

“Well, she’s taken.”

His eyes left mine for the first time and moved to the necklace that hung from my throat. I wasn’t wearing a t-shirt or a cardigan to cover it up. The small engraving glowed in the dim lighting, reflecting in his eyes. “Is she?”