Wedded in Sin (28 page)

“I don’t know any dances!”

“Of course you do. You were taught them at school, just like I was.”

“But I don’t remember them.”

“Yes, you will. I’ll come back tomorrow afternoon. We’ll go over the steps. You’ll remember right away, I promise!”

Penny giggled. She couldn’t help it. Francine was so beautiful when she was happy, all bouncing, giddy joy. She couldn’t help laughing right along with her friend. Then Francine sobered.

“And make sure you have some of those French letters. You were right smart to tell me about them.”

Penny’s mood dropped straight down to her toes. “I have them,” she whispered. It was all she could manage once she realized her friend just assumed she and Samuel would do more. Do
that
. It had made sense a month ago to help Francine get the condoms. Anyone with eyes could see that Francine and Anthony were in love. Nothing was going to stop them, and so Penny helped the best way she knew how: by preventing Francine from getting pregnant.

But that was an entirely different situation from herself and Samuel. Penny had known from the start that Anthony would find a way to marry Francine. Those two were just enjoying their marriage bed a little early. Samuel, on the other hand, was merely bored and looking for fun. There would never be a wedding between them, and so what they were doing was sinful. It had to be.

Francine dropped down before her, looking up anxiously into Penny’s eyes. “Tell me honestly, Penny, if he wants to do what you did last night again. If he kisses you and touches you, are you going to stop him? Or will you want him to continue?”

Penny sighed. “I will want to do it again.”

“So you liked it. It was good?”

Penny felt her lip curve into a smile. “It was wonderful!”

“Then who’s to say what happens between you and him is wrong? If you stop short or if you keep going. So long as you use the French letters, then no one will know one way or another. Your mum’s gone, so she can’t say anything. Most people think Tommy’s yours, so no one expects you to be a virgin. What harm is there?”

“In being sinful?” she asked. That’s what her father called it when Ronald got that maid pregnant: sinful.

Francine shrugged. “If you’re sinful, then so am I. And I don’t regret it for one second.”

“You’re going to marry Anthony.”

“Doesn’t matter as far as the priests are concern.” Francine cocked her head, her brows drawn together into a frown. “Don’t you see? You’re a woman alone with a babe to raise. Everyone has already damned you. Not your friends, of course, but others. And your friends will love you no matter what you do. So if you make sure not to get pregnant, then what’s wrong with being happy? It does make you happy, right? I mean—”

“Yes! Yes!” Penny cried. “It was the best ever! And I want to do it again and again and again!” She clapped a hand over her mouth in shock while her friend collapsed into peals of laughter.

“I hope you have dozens of letters.”

“But—”

“Because using them is much more fun than stopping!”

Penny felt her jaw go slack in astonishment. She had heard some things, of course. From her married school friends and sometimes from overhearing her mother and aunt in whispered conversation. But no one had been so open about it. Not like Francine. So Penny abruptly made a decision. Not about Samuel, but about what she wanted to know. Which was
everything
.

Suddenly, she did the unheard-of act of putting away all her tools. They didn’t have much time. Tommy could wake any minute. So she left her bench to sit beside Francine.

“Tell me about it. Tell me everything!” she begged.

And in the miracle that was this day, Tommy slept for a full hour more.

Samuel appeared after dinner with a tart folded up in
his pocket for Tommy. Penny recognized the pastry as having come from his brother’s home, and she wondered anew at the relationship between the men. “Doesn’t your brother resent feeding you? And now Tommy, too?”

He looked up from playing tug-of-war with Tommy, his expression one of shocked surprise. “Heavens, no! My brother wouldn’t care if I moved in with them. In fact, he’s asked me to on more than one occasion. I’ve thought about it, if only to give Max someone intelligent to converse with, but Georgette and I would kill each other within days. So, my brother is content to have me visit and eat rather than murder his wife.”

She laughed, but she still couldn’t understand it. “What of the expense? Even if your brother forgets it, I’ll wager Georgette doesn’t.”

He grimaced. “No, she doesn’t. But I assure you, my brother will be well recompensed come quarter day.”

She tilted her head. “What happens on quarter day? I thought your brother got all the money come quarter day. He’s the baron, right?”

He nodded. “Many investments pay four times a year or quarterly. It’s not just the land investments. Factories, mines, a lot of other companies pay quarterly. Or yearly. Didn’t your father have customers who paid only after quarter day?”

She nodded, thinking back. “As a rule, Father was the one who went to collect debts. I merely kept track of the bills and monies owed.”

Samuel frowned a moment. “You were your father’s bookkeeper?”

She shrugged. “He didn’t trust anyone else.”

“My estimation of your intelligence continues to grow.”

She flushed, pleased with the compliment. “Well, my
intelligence
desperately wishes to know what has happened today regarding my home and Papa’s will.”

“There isn’t much to tell, but I shall explain what I have done.”

Then he started talking even as he continued to play with Tommy, pretending to steal pieces of tart, only to give them back to the child a second later.

Penny listened as closely as she could. He had investigated the other signatures on the will from the witnesses. He continued to believe the signatures were false, but he had no way to prove that as yet. He’d gone to the pub where the documents had supposedly been executed. The innkeeper remembered nothing though certainly her father and Mr. Addicock had frequented the establishment. There was no more to be learned at the pub, so Samuel went to some of his solicitor friends. He’d also visited with the constable to learn the details of her parents’ murder. On and on he spoke, the details merging together in her mind.

He saw the oddest things and thought them significant. One of the waitresses at the pub was stealing, but not from the till. She was pickpocketing certain customers and not others. The other waitress was pregnant and hiding it very badly. The constable was a smart one, though he was not aging well. An injury of some sort plagued his knees, not that he would admit that to anyone. Copper kettles tended to make tea taste odd. His solicitor friend’s wife was gambling again. Samuel knew because the man’s tick had reappeared and that inevitably meant debt. And the new clerk had a fondness for twirling his hair when he lied. Bad habit that.

There was more. An overflowing tide of more, and all too soon Penny listened with half an ear. Instead, she relaxed back in her chair and just enjoyed the moment. Soon she had her sketch pad in hand and was doodling as he spoke. The calm that came to her whenever she began thinking of her shoes merged together with the peace his words brought to her mind.

They were in the kitchen upstairs, which was really just a woodstove in the corner beside a table and chairs. Mrs. Appleton was in the workroom downstairs managing the receipts in her daughter’s absence, and Wendy was done for the night. Gone early, which was becoming more frequent for her.

That left Penny upstairs with Samuel and Tommy. It was a cozy family moment, or felt like one at least. She had a full belly, Tommy was babbling happily, and Samuel was there nattering on about his day. If she closed her mind to reality for a moment, she could well believe this was her future. Samuel at the table, their children playing nearby while the water heated for tea. She could be sketching her latest shoe idea or perhaps stitching fabric to a sole. In a little bit, she would put Tommy to bed and then she and Samuel would sit together and…and…well, they would do what married people did. They would talk. They would share their lives. Then they would retire to bed to make brothers and sisters for Tommy. Or cousins, actually, not that anyone would note the difference.

That was the future her mind created for her, and she wanted it with an ache that left a dark hole in her belly. She wanted to believe it was possible, even though she knew it would never be.

“I won’t bed you,” she said abruptly, speaking more to that fantasy than to Samuel. “Not without benefit of a ring. I won’t cheapen myself that way.”

It took her a moment to realize she’d said it aloud, stopping Samuel’s conversation mid-word. He was able to follow, of course. Or at least he pretended well. He cocked his head and smiled at her.

“Of course not. I would never try to cheapen you in that manner.”

“You wouldn’t?” She flushed, embarrassed and a little hurt by his answer. After all, didn’t all men want to bed pretty girls? What was wrong with her that he would hold them back after everything they’d already done? Then she roundly chided herself for being so irrational. Why did she always leap to the conclusion that she was unacceptable?

He leaned forward, a grin on his face. “I would never ask, my dear. However, if you should wish to change your mind, trust me to be more than willing to participate in your deflowering.”

She flushed, pleased by his frank words and his heated look. “But you won’t ask it of me,” she said.

“I want to. Believe me when I say that I wish for it like a starving man wishes for bread. But until the moment you ask, I have sworn to act as a true chivalric knight, worshiping you from a far.”

“But if I were to ask,” she said slowly.

His expression shifted into a seductive smile. “Then you will have no cause to regret our action, and we will enjoy a night of such pleasure. That, too, I have sworn.”

She laughed because he was being silly. And because she wanted to cover the quiver that trembled in her belly. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw that he knew what he had done to her, the feelings that he sparked. He knew it as a man knows his own power. But she also saw a hunger there, a desire that quickened hers and had her thinking of what else could happen in the dungeon. Or in any room that contained a bed.

Thankfully, Tommy distracted them. He wanted down from his chair and to his toys. Which meant he had to be cleaned first, his nappy changed, and a host of other things that filled the time. Samuel stayed throughout her tasks, even helped with Tommy’s bath. And all through the time, she was excruciatingly aware of how easy it would be to slide straight back into her fantasy. She could easily pretend that Tommy was not her cousin, but her child with Samuel. That she and Samuel were wed, and five minutes after the boy was asleep, he would take her into his arms and kiss away all her cares. She would feel again that wonderful thing he did and more.

Oh, she wanted it. But it was never to be, and so she ended up shooing Samuel downstairs as she put the boy to bed. “Go away now. This is a time for family.”

Her words were too harsh. She knew it the moment she said them, and seeing Samuel’s face carefully blank told her she’d hurt him. Could it be? Could he have been pretending as much as she’d been? The idea was ludicrous, but she wondered as she watched him nod curtly toward her and step for the stairs.

“I’ll just wait in the workroom, then. If Mrs. Appleton can watch Tommy, then we can leave as soon as you’re ready.”

She frowned. “Leave where?” The ball wasn’t until tomorrow night.

“To speak with Ned Wilkers. You did say you wanted to join me when I speak with the boy.”

“Oh! Yes. Of course.” How could she have forgotten? That was what came of fantasies, she scolded herself. They made one forget what was important. “Ten minutes, and I shall be down.”

“Take as much time as you need. I will wait.” And with that he disappeared down the stairs. And she, idiot woman that she was, hated every second that they were apart.

“My God,” she whispered to Tommy as his eyes began to droop. “What’s to become of us? I’ve fallen for a mad toff!”

Tommy didn’t answer, and ten minutes later, she was busy changing her gown and dressing her hair. She told herself it was simply to make talking to Ned easier. A pretty girl always got more information out of a man. But inside she knew the truth.

Especially since she selected a gown that unbuttoned easily down the front.

Chapter 17

Samuel hated waiting anywhere for anything. He truly
despised having to do it while Penny was upstairs with Tommy and he was banished like an errant child. It wasn’t a rational reaction, which made him all the more surly. The truth was, he had been enjoying his time with them and was now surly for being denied his treat.

So he sat downstairs, intending to sulk out his annoyance in the main parlor. But he could not keep his mind focused on it for long—especially since it was an illogical emotional response and not worthy of his brainpower—so all too soon he wandered to the back workroom.