Wedded in Sin (26 page)

And here came the second most unwelcome surprise. On the heels of love came a kind of angry madness. One that was equally debilitating to all logic. But he was powerless to stop it. Soon after they had both finished dressing, he pinned Penny with a cold glare.

“Shall I walk you home now?”

She cocked her head, her expression deeply thoughtful. Bloody hell, was that what he looked like when he was thinking something through? No wonder his brother shuddered whenever that happened. It was downright terrifying to stand without a clue as to what was going on in someone else’s brain. To cover how very unnerved he was, he bent to pick up her satchel. But that occupied only a few seconds. By the time he had straightened, she had come to whatever conclusion and was at his side.

“I can carry that,” she said. “It’s not heavy.”

He stiffened, insulted to the core. Of course he would carry his love’s bag. He was a man and that was what men did. They carried ladies’ packages. But the damn woman was too independent and too used to being alone. She did not like anyone else touching the few things she had left. He understood that, and yet was still angry at her demand.

“I shall carry it for you. I shall walk you to the dress shop to see that you arrive safely. And then I shall surrender it to you. I assure you, I have no designs on keeping a bag of Tommy’s clothes.”

She pressed her lips together, but not before he saw a flash of hurt skate across her features. He had hurt her. He wasn’t sure if it was his tone, his words, his actions, or all of them together. Damn it, he couldn’t think clearly! “Penny, I’m sorry,” he began. “If you wish to carry the bag, then of course, it’s yours.” He started to hold it out to her, but she flinched away from him. Then looked at him guiltily. God damn it all! What was wrong with the two of them? Life should not be so incomprehensible. Certainly not to him!

He growled and tossed the bag down on the floor. She started again, looking at him with wide, frightened eyes.

“Penny—”

“Just say it!” she snapped, her accent slipping the more vehement her words. “We had our fun and you wish to be rid of me now. You’re trying to act the gent, but we’re done.”

He gaped at her, panic clutching his chest. “God, no!”

“Then what is it? Why’re you so angry?’

He arched a brow, able at least to appreciate the symmetry of the situation. He’d brought her here specifically to ask about her anger, not his. But ironic or not, she deserved an answer. “I’m out of sorts, Penny. It has nothing to do with you,” he lied. “I shall be better in a moment.”

Again he was subjected to her heavy stare, and again he twisted inside, wondering what she was thinking. Every other woman of his acquaintance was damn clear in what she wanted. But not Penny. No, he suspected she would still keep him guessing even a century from now.

Then her expression abruptly cleared. Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened on a gasp. “Oh!” she cried. “It’s because you didn’t…Because you’re a man and we didn’t…” She bit her lip, and looked guiltily at the floor. “Oh,” she repeated. “I’ve heard that always makes men angry.”

It took a minute to follow her thoughts. Did she think he was surly because they hadn’t actually made love in the usual way? It wasn’t even remotely true, but in her innocence she believed it. And since he hadn’t any other explanation he wanted to give, he grabbed on to it as a credible lie. “It is childish and highly ungentlemanly of me. I shall amend my mood immediately.”

She shook her head. “No, no. I hear that it’s normal. That men can’t help it.”

He snorted. Men on a whole were ruled by their passions, but he had once prided himself on being above all that. Obviously, that was no longer true. “It appears I am as fallible as every other man.”

“No,” she said, stepping close to him. “No. And I’m sorry.”

He stopped her with a quick kiss to her lips. The motion was surprisingly easy as he pressed his mouth to hers. She opened willingly, but he refused to deepen it. It was too soon—for both of them—to begin a dalliance again tonight. She had just begun and he…he was still much too unsettled to consider it. So he pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Tonight was beyond special. Never apologize for it or I will become angry indeed. Someday I may explain to you exactly what has bothered me tonight. It is a nonsensical male thing, I assure you. But one day, I may explain it to you if you like.”

“Yes—”

“But not tonight, I beg of you. Spare my tender male ego.”

She smiled, a slight curving of her lips. “Of course. And…you can carry my bag if you like.”

“I should like it above all things.”

“Thank you,” she said, all sweet and shy. Then he did kiss her. Lightly at first, then deeper. Stronger. He thrust his tongue inside her and he expressed in that one passionate, possessive kiss what he was truly feeling. Or at least he tried. In the end, he pulled back, afraid of rejection, afraid of things he couldn’t even name, only to have her stare dazedly back at him.

“Penny?”

“We can come here again sometime. If you like,” she said.

Immediately his organ surged forward, hungry as if it hadn’t just been satisfied not ten minutes before. “And if you would like,” he said by way of covering, “I should like to take you to a party Thursday night. It’s at a friend of mine’s. A ball of sorts, but with an entertaining guest list.”

She blinked. “I can’t go to a ball!” she gasped.

“But of course you can. You shall be my guest.”

“But I’m a shoemaker! And a secret one at that!”

“But Thursday night, you shall be my guest. Say you will, Penny. Please say you will.”

“I—”

She was about to say no, so he kissed her again. Deeply, hungrily, and with all the skill at his command. This time when he drew back, she blinked at him in confusion.

“Say yes, Penny.”

“Yes.”

He grinned. “Excellent.”

“But I can’t go to any ball.”

He dropped a kiss onto her nose. “Then it’s not a ball. Just a gathering of friends where there might be dancing.”

“But—”

“Penny, you must. I—I need you there.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Because…” Why? Why did he need her there? “I wish you expressly to meet someone. She has some rather unusual ideas regarding investments, and I should like your perspective.”

“About investments? What do I know about those?”

“It is about female things, Penny. But she is a friend, and I do not understand the half of it.”

Penny frowned at him. “You’re lying to me.”

“I swear I’m not.” And he wasn’t. Well, not entirely. He had already formed his opinion of Melinda’s so-called investments. But still, learning Penny’s perspective might be very interesting as well.

“Then we should talk to her some other time.”

“Thursday night, Penny. It is the best time. Please, I want you to come.”

It took a little more bickering, a little more pleading, but eventually she gave in. And then suddenly, they were climbing the stairs out of the dungeon in relative accord. It wasn’t late by brothel standards, so as they topped the stairs, they had to stay back in the shadows to avoid being seen. Fortunately, they found Missy soon enough.

Then, once again, Penny surprised him. Just as he was about to hand over the key, she snatched it out of his hand. Her hood had been drawn over her face so as to hide her identity, but suddenly she tossed it back to glare at the madame.

“We’re returning your room to you, but you won’t be charging him a penny for use of it. We didn’t touch anything. Nobody wanted it.”

“Penny,” he said gently. “It’s all right. Missy and I are friends.”

“Not if she tries to charge you.” She turned back on the madame, who was staring at them both as if they were mad. “Plain as piss he hasn’t got a penny to spare. And no friend would take money he hasn’t got.”

“What?” Missy turned to Samuel in alarm. “You’re broke?”

He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “No, I’m not. Everything’s fine.”

Meanwhile, Penny was stepping in between them, her expression fierce. “There are other ways for him to pay you. I’m sure he knows a gent or two who would love to use your dungeon. Throw a party in there or something.” She turned to Samuel. “You do, don’t you? Don’t you know everybody?”

He quirked a brow, thrilled with the unaccustomed feeling of having someone else defend
him
. “I know
about
everybody. That’s not the same as being able to influence them.”

“But you can,” she pressed. “You can find someone to throw a party here?”

He thought of all the men of his acquaintance. He’d never thought in that particular direction, but yes, he knew of someone who would enjoy the dungeon. And learning whom else the man invited would be highly interesting.

“Yes,” he said with a slow smile. “I know just the man.”

“Excellent,” Penny crowed as she turned back to Missy, the key held out. “So he’s square? No charge for tonight?”

Missy’s brows were drawn together in a thoughtful look. Finally, she took the key with a careful hand. “Of course there won’t be any charge, Samuel. But do say you’ll swing around sometime soon. It has been so long since we had an afternoon’s chat.”

He grinned at her. “I’m afraid I’m rather full up this week. But soon,” he promised. “I’ll stop for tea soon.”

“Oh yes,” crooned Missy. “Make it soon.” Then after a blithe wave and a longer, considering look at Penny, Missy disappeared back down the hallway into the main room. “Come along,” he said to Penny as he lifted her hand to his arm. “I need to see you home.”

She followed easily enough, their steps in rhythm, their spirits in accord. If it weren’t for the late hour—and the fact that he carried a stuffed satchel—they might have been a lord and lady out for an afternoon stroll. Up until this moment, he’d never thought the activity had any merit. But for the first time in his life, he understood the need to just walk. In silence. With his…With a…

His mind balked. He could not label her his lover. He wasn’t even sure she was his friend, truth be told. She was simply Penny, in his mind, and he refused to think beyond that. And then she had to spoil everything by asking a very awkward question.

“Just how tight are you?”

He flinched. “What?” he asked, though he knew exactly what she meant.

“How much money do you have? Enough to get by? Can you make your rent? You eat at your brother’s. Your clothing is decent enough now, but it’s getting on winter. Do you have a coat? Will you have enough coal?”

He turned to look at her, belatedly realizing that she truly thought him impoverished. “Penny, I have funds enough to meet my needs.” Or he would after quarter day. He’d been investing lately, stretching his cash to a razor’s edge more out of boredom than anything else. In truth, things were very tight until quarter day, when his investment would pay off. And pay off handsomely. But until that day, nearly a month from now, he had to live most sparingly.

“Francine’s father paid her bill yesterday. Wendy made sure I got what was owed me immediately. With Helaine’s cast-off gowns and that sack of clothes for Tommy, I’m set for a while. More than set. Enough to share a meal or two with you. If you’d like.”

He pressed his hand on top of hers, holding it there in a quiet squeeze. She was offering him her hard-earned money when she had just lost everything. The generosity of it touched him deeply. Coupled with how she defended him against Missy, he fell all the more in love with her.

“I should love very much to dine with you, Penny,” he said softly. “But I have no need of your money. I swear.”

She nodded and released a slow breath. She had truly been worried about him. “You can’t live scrounging money off your brother all your life. And it’s no good spending your time rescuing ladies.”

“I rather like the lady I’m rescuing at the moment.”

She flashed him a smile that warmed him more than any coal could ever do. “And I like it right back. But, Samuel, what do you do with your time? Doesn’t it get—”

“Boring? Tediously so.”

“I was going to say lonely.”

He shrugged. “I have friends.”

“Like Missy?”

“She’s more of a friendly acquaintance.”

“And me?”

He paused then. Not for long. Just enough for his step to hitch and for her to notice. Then he was walking again, trying to keep his manner smooth while his heart was racing and his mind all but exploded.

What was Penny to him? Good God, but he didn’t want to answer that in his own mind, much less out loud to her.

She sighed. “You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want.”

“I’m trying to,” he said truthfully. He was all but mad with the search for the right words to say. Finally he reached for the easy way out. “What would you like to be?”

“You mean besides rich?”

He smiled. “You will be eventually, Penny. Give it a little time.”

“Got to eat in the meantime. Got to find a home, too. We can’t always live rent-free above the shop. Tommy will need clothes, and then there’s schooling. I had a good education at an academy for ladies. Tommy deserves no less.”

“Of course,” he answered, startled anew by her background. So she had not spent all her days following after her father and his shoes. “But were you accepted at this academy? As a shoemaker’s daughter?”

She shrugged. “It was a school for cits and by-blows right here in London. Some were the daughters of lords, but most of us were in trade of some sort. It was a happy time in my life.” Then she looked down and he knew she was fighting of wave of frustration about her brother’s future. “Tommy deserves no less,” she said firmly.

“He will have it.”

“Of course he will,” she echoed, the determination obvious in her tone. “He
will
.”

They walked in silence again, which gave her time to settle her emotions and for him to relax, hoping that she had given up her question. A moment later, though, his fears were renewed.

“So you understand, don’t you,” she began, “that I can help you if you need it. For a bit. Here and there. But I can’t be with a man who just drains my money and my time. I liked what we did tonight. More than I should. But it’s not worth Tommy’s education money. It just isn’t.”