Want & Need (18 page)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Paul helped me up, asking if I was okay.

“Okay? I just got thrown from an apparent Lilith of horses, and you’re asking if I’m okay?” I brushed the dirt from my jeans, trying to ignore the throbbing throughout my body. “I actually hurt all over if you must know.”

His lips tweaked up into a victorious smirk. “So what are you going to do?”

The penny dropped and I realised what the whole point of this was. A mixture of anger and irritation began bubbling as I stared at the handsome, intelligent man before me.

“I’m sure you could have taught me this lesson in a much nicer way.”

“But this was more literal. And from where I’m standing, more entertaining.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as Rebecca offered me a short whip. “I don’t like using them.”

She pushed it into my hand. “You will need it. Don’t be afraid to use it.”

I chewed my lip and remounted the awkward mare. Thinking over my options as I walked her around the edge of the arena, she strolled along like butter wouldn’t melt. Curving her round onto a wide circle, I pushed her forwards into a trot, more than ready for her little trick. When the gate appeared in view, she tensed, resulting in a tap on the shoulder from me. She squealed, shaking her head from side to side as she tried to break the circle.

I sat deep in the saddle, preparing myself for whatever she may throw at me. We fought for nearly twenty minutes as she snatched at the bit, crabbed all over, and tried dropping her shoulder several times. Every time she misbehaved, she received a tap on the shoulder and was made to work on a smaller, tighter circle. When she did as I asked, the circle became wider and easier for her.

She gave in with a massive sigh, dropping her head and working into a beautiful outline like a pro. For the next half hour I had the ride of my life as I played with her, seeing what she could do. I rode back over to Rebecca and Paul, grinning like a Cheshire cat—I couldn’t have been happier.

“Wow.” I slid down from the saddle, my legs shaking. “What a horse.”

Rebecca smiled, taking the reins from me. “She’s a tricky little mare. She broke her owner’s back.”

I glared at Paul. “And you knew that?”

Rebecca stepped in, explaining the mare’s history to me. It sounded mostly her owner’s fault, and with her eventing career on hold whilst he recovered, she needed exercising but she always threw people off.

“She needs to be ridden and competed. She lives for it. She wants it, needs it. Now you’ve cracked her, she’ll be like putty in your hands.”

I smiled, blushing.

“She’s here whenever you want to ride. I mean that.”

I gave her my thanks before Paul drove me home. He explained to me how his sister, who was two years younger than me, had left home at sixteen, disgusted by her parents’ lifestyle and business venture. So desperate to leave them, she’d gone to live at a local riding school, living in a dirty, rotten caravan. Outraged by this, his parents tried to bring her home, only for her refusals to continue. Eventually, they reached a compromise where she agreed to a distanced relationship with them and in return, they bought her that amazing yard complete with a house.

She had changed her surname to disassociate from them but as she knew the truth behind Paul’s feelings, she’d kept a close relationship with him. A strange feeling of closeness washed over me as I revelled in the fact he’d introduced me to a “secret” member of his family. A small sliver of hope started to climb inside me.

We pulled up onto my driveway for Ash to inform me Scott had been round, asking for my forgiveness. He’d apparently gifted him a black eye to match his broken nose before telling him where to go. I smiled, walking inside my bare house. Then the reality hit home of what I’d done.

Paul chuckled next to me. “Did a proper job, didn’t you?”

I nodded, sighing. How could a couple of hours change me from a desperate woman in the middle of a meltdown to one feeling empowered and in charge of her own life?

“Here.” He pulled a card from his wallet. “Go to this place tomorrow. Tell them I sent you and to put it on my tab. Furnish your house and get yourself back on track.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can and you will. Don’t make me come down there with you. This whole mess is my fault. This is my way of trying to make up for it.”

“How is this your fault?”

He hesitated for a second, softness seeping through his eyes. “Well, maybe if I’d been honest with you from the start, then perhaps things may have turned out differently.”

My heart warmed at his words. I looked at him, expectation rolling off me.

“No, Ky. It’s far too complicated.”

And there it was again. Those hated words that buried deep into my soul. I sighed, nodding my understanding to him. He pressed his lips to my forehead, my heart crying for him to complete me. I closed my eyes, thinking of new furniture when Ash came running in, his face pale as his hands shook with his phone in them.

He glanced at me, tears streaming from his dark eyes. “Mum’s been killed.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

“What?”

“Mum’s been killed in an accident.”

His words rattled around my head for a few seconds before I burst into tears. Paul stepped back, allowing Ash to swallow me in a hug. Guilt about our tattered relationship gnawed at me as my legs collapsed.

“Where’s my damn sofa when I need it?”

He chuckled as he sat on the floor with me, kissing my head. After a few minutes, I regained enough composure to ask the vital questions.

“How? When?”

“Just before seven this morning our time. It was just before one in the morning their time. I don’t fully understand what happened myself. Something to do with one of the horses getting out during a thunderstorm. She went to catch it but it spooked or something and kicked her in the head. It killed her outright.”

I gasped. “What? Mum wouldn’t be that daft.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It seems she was.”

I frowned, suspicion setting in right away. “Tim told you, didn’t he?”

Ash sighed, pushing me away. “Don’t start this again, Ky. Please. Not now.”

“Why have you never believed me? I don’t get it. He’s a creep, Ash.”

“Kyra—”

“Whoa, steady on guys.” Paul intervened, taking my hand and putting some distance between Ash and me. “Don’t fall out now. This is where you’re supposed to support each other.”

Ash crossed his arms. “He’s booked us onto the first flight out. We fly at seven, which means we have about two hours before we need to leave.”

I snorted. “Typical Tim. Taking control of everything again. Why can’t you see it?”

“Kyra, he’s just paid for our flights for goodness sake. Have some damn gratitude and respect.”

I glared at him. “Why can’t you respect me in the fact that what I said is true?”

His jaw clenched before he announced he was going home to pack some stuff. I trudged upstairs, feeling defeated. Paul followed me up, asking what the issue was.

“The guy came on to me at the wedding reception. The same reception where he’d just married my mum.”

“Ah.”

“Yes. It wasn’t just a case of him trying a glancing kiss. He pinned me against a wall and practically forced his tongue down my throat.” I shuddered as I still remembered the vile taste he left in my mouth. “He was too strong and his hands went places they shouldn’t have…” My eyes started watering. “If I hadn’t stomped on his foot and bit his tongue, I dread to think what would have happened.”

“Did you tell your mum?”

“Of course I did. She thought it was me overreacting to her remarrying. Ash agreed with her because he thinks Tim is the next best thing. Before he went to Australia, he spent six months in America. Some of it with them. Of course, he and Tim became best buddies.”

He wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair. “Do you want me to come with you?”

I gasped. “You’d really do that?”

Stroking my cheek, he nodded. “Of course I would.”

“I…I really want to say yes but is it a good idea with how…odd things are with us?”

He chuckled. “I’d do anything for you. You know I would. I just…the complications…”

“I know. Stop reminding me.”

Sighing, he released me from his embrace. “Perhaps it’s best if I stay behind, but if you do need me, promise you’ll call?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

Spending the next couple of hours packing my life into a suitcase with the man of my dreams next to me was less than easy. Especially when I combined that thought with the reality of having to see Tim again in a few hours. When Ash reappeared to drive us to the airport, tearing myself away from the safety of Paul’s arms only made my heart ache even more.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The flight to Austin was a little over ten hours. Silence had encompassed us during the majority of the flight. What Ash had failed to tell me earlier was that good old Tim had also paid for Ben to come out with him. How charming. I was pleased Ben was with us but also fuming that I was seemingly on my own as Ash turned to Ben for comfort.

We trundled our way through the airport towards the exit, my stomach turning into a complicated mixture of gnarled knots as I braced myself for meeting Tim once again. He was picking us up from the airport and the closer it came to seeing him, the more nauseous I felt. My mind had replayed that night over and over again, refusing to let it go.

Walking through the doors outside, there he was, leaning up against his big black truck, legs crossed at the ankles as he chewed on gum. He looked far from the grief stricken husband he should be. His panther-like green eyes settled on me and a depraved smirk spread across his face.

“Well, hello there.”

Hearing his lazy Texan drawl once again sent shivers down my spine. Ash gave him a man hug before introducing Ben. I stayed well back, letting Ash steal the show. The less attention that man had on me, the better.

Ash turned to me, his eyes glowering. “Kyra?”

I nodded, sighing. “Hi.”

Tim broke out into a huge smile. “Hello, dear. Good to see you again.”

He took a step forwards, his arms outstretched. I glanced at Ash, who narrowed his eyes at me. I had little choice but to accept Tim’s hands wrapping around me in a supposed hug. Patting his back in my half-assed attempt at a hug back, his hands dropped to my lower back.

“You look good.”

His whisper covered me in chills, and I stepped back. He let his hands wander around my hips before allowing us to get in the truck. I chewed on my lip and kept my thoughts to myself. I was well aware Ash was watching my every move like I was a naughty child or something.

The half an hour drive back to the ranch was quiet on my behalf. Ash took pleasure in catching Tim up on all his adventures of late. As we turned down the dusty road to the guest quarters, my stomach turned itself inside out. Why was he putting us down here and not in the main house?

Part of their business had been running a dude ranch. The log cabins for the guests were on the other side of the ranch to the main house. It was easily a mile long walk from one side of the grounds to the other. Again, I kept my thoughts to myself, not wanting any more upset with Ash.

Pulling up in front of the U-shaped collection of cabins, Tim informed Ash and Ben they would be sleeping in cabin number two whilst I would be in number eleven. The furthest point from them. A horrid feeling of unease settled inside me. Brushing it aside, I took my luggage inside, making sure to shut the door behind me.

I looked around the cosy setting, quite liking the rustic theme. An open fire dominated one wall whilst a king-size bed took centre of attention. The bathroom suite was large, airy, and all sparkling white marble. I smiled, thinking to myself how this could actually be enjoyable if it wasn’t for the letch who owned it.

Starting to unpack my stuff, I jumped as Ash burst through the door.

“Stop being so damn rude.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him. “I’m not being rude. I’m being civil.”

“You’re being rude, Kyra. Get over yourself already.”

My jaw dropped open. “You’re unbelievable.”

“No, you’re unbelievable. The man just lost his wife for goodness sake.”

I snorted. “I’m well aware of that. She was my mum, remember.”

His dark eyes hardened over. “Not that you treated her like one for the past couple of years.”

I gasped as he slammed the door shut behind him. I couldn’t understand his behaviour at all. Starting to feel the effects of being alone, I crawled into bed and curled up into a ball. I drifted off into a deep sleep, my dreams playing me scenes of Paul and me together.

A gentle shoving startled me awake. I looked up to see Ash leaning over me.

“It’s tea time. Are you coming?”

I blinked my sleep away before nodding. Waking from sweet dreams of Paul to then walk outside to a living nightmare was quite a stark contrast. Still, if those dreams of Paul were to continue, at least I had some comfort.