Want & Need (16 page)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Molly and Chris had a glorious honeymoon booked in the Seychelles for four weeks. Whilst they were away, Scott moved all of his stuff into mine. With his business picking up considerably at the same time, I barely saw him so it really didn’t feel much different than before. In one way I was relieved we weren’t clinging to each other twenty-four seven, but in another way, I often sat at home thinking I should surely see more of someone I lived with than this.

Paul had not reacted well to the news when I let slip Scott was moving in with me. He again tried in vain to make me see Scott was not for me.

In the middle of another row of ours, the day before Molly and Chris were due back, he dropped a clanger I didn’t expect from him.

“He’s cheating on you, Kyra.” The second the words left his mouth he came towards me with his hands reached out. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I shook my head. “Wow. Even that is a new low for you. What is wrong with you? You told me you couldn’t give me what I wanted, and now I’m with someone else, you’re trying to do everything you can to screw it up. It’s your fault this mess is like this. Deal with it.”

I trembled with fury and shock at this new depth to his personality I didn’t think existed.

“I’m sorry, Ky. Please forgive me.”

I snorted. “I think we should just leave things here. I think for both of our sakes we need to keep this strictly professional.”

The words stung like a swarm of bees as they left my lips. It was painful enough to have to ignore him physically, but it was a comfort to be able to relax around him and be me. Now I was severing that side too, it was going to be even more painful. And awkward.

He nodded to me in silence. He didn’t attempt to stop me leaving his office, which further sealed the lid on things. Maybe this was what I had to do in order to focus fully on Scott and me.

I thought about him constantly, I loved the way he touched me, I loved being with him, I loved the way he treated me. Was this love finally for me, or was it something else that I thought was love?

I refused to even indulge Paul’s accusation and investigate. I knew for a fact Scott wasn’t and wouldn’t cheat on me. For one, he was far too busy getting his business going, and for two, he was far too attentive to me when we were together for his mind and affections to be shared elsewhere.

I made the mistake of telling him later that night what Paul accused him of. He was livid. He seethed to himself quietly for the rest of the night, leaving me regretting mentioning anything to him. We went to bed in silence. I knew he’d be upset but I hadn’t quite expected an extreme reaction like this.

As I sat at my desk the next morning, Scott burst through my office door.

“Where is he?” His voice came out in a low growl, fury creasing over his face.

Panic swamped me in a split second. “What are you doing?”

The last thing I needed was Scott shouting at my boss and finding out we used to…be involved. I hadn’t quite decided yet if it was a good idea to share this piece of information or not.

“He is here.” Paul’s voice glided across the office. “I know why you’re here. Shall we?”

Scott marched towards his open door with a thunderous look on his face.

I glared at Paul. “Are you crazy?”

He gave me a look of sorrow before closing the door, leaving me biting my nails for the next twenty minutes.

Scott emerged with a relieved look on his face. He gave me a peck on the cheek before saying his goodbyes.

“Don’t panic,” Paul said, walking over to me when the door closed behind Scott. “He doesn’t know anything about us.”

“What happened? What took so long?”

“We talked through some things.” He shrugged his shoulders. “All sorted now. No worries.” He smiled before disappearing back inside his cocoon.

Later that night, Scott skirted around the issue loosely, pretty much saying the same as what Paul told me earlier. I felt uneasy but breathed a sigh of relief at the two of them smoothing out whatever had been the issue.

Paul calmed right down after that. He stopped trying to tell me I needed to leave Scott and kept our relationship strictly professional. I respected him for respecting what I asked of him.

Tonight, though, over a month later, was a works do. It was a Saturday and an anniversary dinner for twenty-five years of the company. Being Halloween tomorrow, the nights were now cold and uninviting.

In the hotel room, paid for courtesy of the company, Scott slipped his arms around my waist as I finished my look for the evening.

“You look stunning.”

His breath tickled my neck and I giggled at his compliment. My peach and white lace dress clung to me like a second skin, sitting just off my shoulders. Long, dark curls tumbled down my back, and I slipped on my nude high heels to complete the look.

“Thank you.”

He brushed a finger across my cheek, the sincerity etched into his features sending my pulse through the roof. “I love you.”

I’d gotten used to him saying those words to me but as of yet, I hadn’t said it back. He knew it freaked me out, but he was okay with it.

“I love you too.”

The words tumbled from me before I could even think. Heat flushed my cheeks as both of our eyes widened in shock.

“I’ve been waiting weeks to hear that.” He graced me with a kiss before leading us downstairs with a beaming smile.

***

The actual event itself was quite good. Delicious food and good wine kept everyone entertained, along with speeches from Paul and Mr. Collins.

Paul looked incredible. It was hard to take my eyes off him. He looked every inch the dashing Prince Charming in his black suit with his crisp white shirt underneath. He took his jacket off after the food, loosening a couple of buttons on his shirt, which only made him look even more irresistible. I knew what he was hiding under there, and despite the perfect man sitting beside me, my mind seemed intent on being traitorous this evening.

We were sharing a table with Molly, Chris, and a couple of others from the admin office. As the clapping subsided to the speeches and the music started, Scott’s phone started ringing in his pocket.

“It’s my Dad,” he said, looking at the display. “I need to take this.”

I nodded to him, kissing him quickly before he wandered outside to take his call.

The waitress came over offering more wine, which I chucked back as if I were a fish. Still nervous, and reeling from my confession to Scott, I needed it.

“Molly,” I said, motioning for her to take Scott’s seat next to me. “I need to tell you something.”

“One minute,” she said. “I’m going to wee myself.”

She dashed off to the toilet, leaving me giggling at her. She had managed to down nearly a whole bottle of wine during dinner. I wasn’t surprised she needed the loo. I was more surprised this was the first trip she’d needed.

“Care to dance?”

I looked up, my breath hitching in my throat as I stared into Paul’s familiar sapphire eyes.

I blushed and found myself nodding. Despite my earlier confession to Scott, I couldn’t help but still feel a physical attraction to Paul. Occasionally my mind would wander, wondering what a relationship with Paul would be like. It never lasted long before reality hit home, though, and the idealistic thoughts evaporated into nothing like a mirage in a desert.

He settled us on the dance floor, and curled his arms around my waist. My heart pounded against my ribs, my body reacting as it remembered his touch.

He leaned into me, his breath tickling my neck, and whispered, “You look beautiful tonight.”

Goosebumps flooded me, my mind choosing to remind me of all our times together. Merging into the throng of people around us, I couldn’t help but give in, just for a minute.

“You know that could have been you sat next to me tonight.”

He sighed, a sadness passing through his eyes for a brief second. “I know. Let’s not go there.”

“I told him I loved him tonight.”

He took a step back, eyes widened. “Did you mean it?”

“I…what kind of a question is that?”

“A simple one. Do you actually love him?”

“I think so.”

I couldn’t believe I was thirty and still clueless as to what real love felt like.

He pulled us back together, twirling us around the floor in a spectacular fashion. “If you think so, then you don’t. You will know love when you find it.”

My heart beat hard as my mind shouted,
It’s you! It’s you!

On the next exuberant twirl, my heel snapped. Had it not been for Paul’s quick reactions, I would have fallen flat on my face.

If only he’d been there to catch me when I fell for him.

I brushed the thoughts away, refusing to indulge myself anymore. I was getting carried away, lost in the moment. I couldn’t allow myself to become swept up in the romanticised atmosphere we were in. I was with Scott and we loved each other. That was how it was and how it would be.

“You okay?”

I nodded, taking my shoes off. “I’m going to go change these.”

“Don’t be silly. The floor is clean. Just go barefoot.”

I gave him a withering glance as I tiptoed across the wooden floor.

“Honestly,” he said, chasing after me. “It’ll be fine. There’s no point in going up four floors just for a pair of shoes for a couple of hours.”

“I’m not attending a fancy anniversary dinner barefoot, Paul. I’ll be back in a minute.”

I made my way towards the elevators, shaking my head at his ridiculous suggestion. I fumbled my room key out of my bra as I waited for the lift to bring me to my floor. The metal floor was cold on my feet, and I wanted the warmth of the corridor carpet. Finally, the doors sprung open, allowing me some respite as I savoured the feeling of the short carpet underneath me.

Room 408. It was on my right hand side. I slid my shoes under my arm and pushed the key in the lock. Swinging the door wide open and still grinning from Paul’s daft idea, I stepped inside. My brain didn’t quite register what my eyes reported back, not for a few seconds anyway.

Then, a blood-curdling scream filled the air. I collapsed on the floor at the sight in front of me—Molly bent over in front of Scott, begging for more.

Chapter Thirty-Three

The solid wooden door was my only support at this moment. My entire body turned to jelly. My chest heaved for breath as I started to hyperventilate.

“Shit.”

Scott’s voice floated around the outer edge of my consciousness, not really registering in this surreal haze. It wasn’t until his familiar hands wrapped around me that I snapped out of my swirling fog.

“
Get off me!
”

I scrabbled backwards across the soft carpet. I kicked my legs out at him, desperate to keep distance between us.

“Kyra, I’m so sorry. You were never meant to see this…”

I attempted to stand but my legs gave way. Huge, racking sobs grasped me. I couldn’t even manage basic functions. My entire being was consumed with the burning image of my best friend and my boyfriend,
together
.

I fell out into the corridor, and Scott reached for my hand. Hysteria took over me and I screamed at him to stay away. My vision blurred, streams of tears pouring from me and soaking my chest. Helplessness grasped me, my shocked body refusing to allow me the means to run from this twisted scene.

A shrill ping sounded through the air, silencing Scott’s pleas with me. As I sat with a spinning mind, a pair of strong, muscled arms wrapped around me, lifting me into a much needed, comforting embrace.

The familiarity of Paul’s warm chest only pushed more tears from me. He nestled me into his shoulder, stroking my hair in a soothing rhythm whilst whispering reassurances into my ear. Pressing his lips to the side of my head, I melted right there as it dawned on me what a huge mess I’d made of everything. It was my sheer desperation for wanting something, needing something, which had blinded me to the most obvious thing right in front of me.

Scott’s voice growled from behind me. “Don’t kiss my girlfriend.”

Rage began to burn through me at his statement. I turned around, still leaning against Paul for support. “I’m not your fucking girlfriend. I think you effectively ended that the second you stuck your dick in her.”

Molly appeared in the room doorway, arrogance swarming all over her face. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorframe.

“Oh, didn’t you know, Scott? They were at it for months before you arrived.”

Paul glared at her, and then pulled rank. “You, young lady, are fired.”

“Nice try, handsome. You can’t fire me for personal reasons outside of work. I’ll take you to the Union if you do.”

“No, but I can fire you for gross misconduct. Namely using company property to send explicit emails to your lover here.”

Her smirk fell from her face like a stone dropping through water.

“And I think I’ll also be calculating all the time you took to write and send over three thousand emails.” He gave her his own conceited smirk. “And I will be removing the equivalent pay from your last wage packet.”

My own confident smile appeared as my knight in shining armour saved me in spectacular fashion. The fact he had known about this cut me in two. I couldn’t really be mad at him because he’d tried to tell me several times but I’d ignored him, refusing to believe it.

A quiet voice spoke through the piercing silence. “I see it’s all blown up in your faces finally.”

We all turned to see Chris stood at the entrance to the stairwell. I had no idea how long he’d been stood there or how much he’d heard.

Molly struggled for breath as she stammered, “You…knew?”

“Of course I knew. It’s hard not to hear your fiancée’s lovemaking noises in the middle of the night coming from the room next door.”

Molly’s face turned a new shade of red before tears started to fall.

“Don’t. I know what you’re like, Molls. I know I’m nothing compared to him.” He gave Scott a glare of disgust. “I told myself it was just a fling. I was grateful when he moved out whilst we were on honeymoon. I thought that was the end of it. Evidently not.”

I stepped forwards, Paul’s grip loosening on me as I spoke to Chris. “You knew? And you didn’t tell me? How could you?”

The betrayal from Chris hurt more than I thought it would. I would have expected him to be an ally of mine, not theirs.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Kyra. I’m sorry. When he moved in with you I thought that was him finally getting serious with someone. I figured there was no point in upsetting the apple cart now he was playing happy families. I didn’t realise they were still going to be at it once we got back from honeymoon.”

He gave the pair of them a menacing stare before throwing his wedding ring at Molly.

“Chris…”

“Fuck off.” He disappeared back down the stairs, the slam of the door signifying his feelings.

I turned to my best friend and my now ex-boyfriend, wanting answers.

“How long has this been going on?” I asked, trying to control the quiver in my voice. “When did it start?”

Molly glanced down at the floor. Scott squirmed and shuffled from foot to foot.

“I don’t think we should do this now,” Scott said.

I turned to Paul, scanning across his face. “You know everything. Tell me.”

“Are you sure you want to hear this?”

I nodded, stubbornness taking control.

“They were emailing from when Molly returned from Barbados engaged. It evolved from there.”

A stab of pain shot through my heart. I stared at Scott, my voice barely audible. “Why? Why get involved with me in the first place?”

He licked his lips, glancing up at me before looking at the carpet. “It was her idea. She thought if I got with you, it would stop it between us. It didn’t. It got worse because she got jealous.”

The brazenness of his words ripped a new hole inside me. Then I remembered his words that day we’d gone for coffee.
Looks like I may as well just do it, then.

I gasped and I clutched at my chest. Tears began to form once again as I couldn’t help but ask the inevitable. “Did you…in my house…?”

Their silence was enough for me. Weakness swamped me once more. Scooping me up in his arms, Paul took me back to his room. I buried my head in his chest and cried myself to sleep.