Walk Beside Me (Walk Series) (8 page)

“Finn!”

“Tessa, I’m here.” Finn runs around the room like a raving lunatic. “I’m calling Will.”

“You are what?” I try sitting up in bed, but the sharp cramps dominate my every movement. My fists bawl into our red down comforter. “Finn, fucking listen to me.”

I watch as Finn stops dead in his track when I drop the F bomb. Staring at him for moments before I talk hoping he realizes how serious I am.

“Come here.”

I watch as he crosses the room like a little boy being scolded. He stands at the end of the bed and know at any given moment he’ll lose his shit and scramble to get Will involved in what is suppose to our moment.

“Sit.” I gently pat the side of the bed. “Please.”

Finn listens and settles in beside me. Another wave of pain rolls through me without warning and I fight to mask the pain not wanting to spook Finn.

I talk very slowly to him trying to finish each word with a sense of importance. “You’ll go grab the black bag in the corner.” I point at the bag and watch as his eyes follow my movement. “Then you’ll walk out to the truck, start it, and come back in here for me. Then we’ll go to the hospital and meet our babies.”

I remember the day Finn and I found out we were expecting twin boys. It was right before our wedding day. Finn insisted I get an ultrasound and I reluctantly agreed. We were overjoyed when the doctor informed us we were having twin boys. It was a complete shock, yet it finally made sense why I was as big as a house. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. When we returned home from our appointment, I decided sit down and write a letter to my babies.

Dear Baby Boys,

I recently found out that I’m having twins. I’ve wondered for months why in earth I’m so huge. Well, knowing that I have two tiny Finns growing inside me makes everything clear. Today I’m marrying your daddy on his family ranch by our favorite pond. I keep asking your aunt Tommie to pinch me because I can’t believe all this is finally happening.

I can’t wait to meet your sweet little faces and tell you all about your Granddaddy Jimmy. He kept your daddy and I together not even giving up after going to heaven. Time to go marry the love of my life with my sister by my side. You two babies are my happily ever after and proof that fairytales do really exist.

I love you.

Always,

Mom

I watch as Finn only nods his head then gets up. He seems a bit more settled and I know it’s because of me hiding all of my pain. Even though the horror of flesh ripping, bone screaming pain throttle through me I remain sane and calm. I want to let go and scream and cry and maybe hit a thing or two, but know I have to be strong for Finn.
Wait a minute, I have to be strong?
Through all the absurdity I giggle at my own thoughts. Poor Finn, might really stroke out before this is all over.

I guess my scheduled C-section won’t be happening tomorrow at eleven A.M. I don’t even find myself worrying about what doctor will be on call or how this will all go down. I simply know that I’m in labor and need to get to the hospital. Finn and I’ve decided to be the only ones in the room and share the special moment together. We’ve fought hard with each other the last few weeks, but one thing has always been clear and that is we have to have each other or everything else is just worthless. I wanted to have my boys as natural as possible and my doctor promised me that if I go into labor naturally that I can try to push. The odds of this happening were so slim and Dr. Allen warned me that at any sign of stress he’d immediately take them C-section.

“Baby, let’s go.” Finn’s deep voice snaps me from my thoughts.

When I look up, I see the Finn who is sensible with his head on straight ready to take command. The moment I lay my eyes on his caring face all the pain takes over again, and I yelp without thinking.

“Let’s go, baby.” I feel Finn’s hands on me as he scoops me from the bed.

“It hurts,” I whimper into his chest.

“I’m here, baby girl, I’m here.”

Taking my ring finger and sliding my ruby around backwards I drag it through his beard. It’s become a reassuring habit I find myself constantly doing it while we cuddle on the couch or while he’s driving it’s become my comfort. It’s soothing and the one daily reminder that Finn is mine. All mine.

Will and Finn have a beard war going on and each day since the original bet I get to be the victor petting his trophy beard. Finn clearly has Will beat, but Will is never one to go down without a fight. The other night when I broke the news to Tommie about no other family being in the room when the babies were born she finally admitted that Will bought some beard growth hormone off of Amazon.

“You okay, Tess?” Finn asks as he places me in the front seat of his truck.

Another wave of tremors take over and I can only scream. I don’t want to react this way, but I can’t help it. The pain is relenting and seems as if it will never end. Each series of contractions notches up a level. I watch as Finn rounds the front of the truck while I scream in pain.

“Want me to call, Tommie?” He asks.

“No.”

The flashes of houses and neighborhoods fly past my peripheral as Finn drives to the local hospital.

“What if I can’t do this?”

Finn’s arm that’s held me the whole way holds me a bit tighter this time.

“You’ll be fine, baby, we’ll get you some meds.”

“No, Finn, what if I can’t be a mom.”

The thought has completely consumed my whole pregnancy. Hell, I’m the baby of the family, and, let’s face it, I was the brat of the bunch until the day my family dissolved. I’m not your everyday mother type.

“One step at a time, baby,” he reassures me.

“So, you’re saying I’m going to be shit, uh?” The red lights of the emergency room light up the cab. “I can’t believe you, Finn.”

His words and the tone of his voice instantly enrage me, and I know it’s the pain throttling my body and he’s doing everything to make it better, but I still want to punch his face.

“Baby, do you want me to call Tommie?”

Through my tears, I rip into him, “Does it look like I want you to call Tommie and quit calling me baby?” My words barely exit my body before another onset of contractions crash into me.

“Okay, Okay.”

Finn pulls the truck to a stop and I watch as he rounds it making his way directly to me. I contemplate punching him in the face as soon as he opens the door. It’s this entire sexy motherfuckers fault that I’m dying in pain. He doesn’t try to talk to me or even console me as I wrench in pain with each contraction that blows through me as soon as I hit the ER and see scrubs and smell the environment it reminds me way too much of Tommie’s practice.

“Call Tommie.”

“Tessa, you’re almost there. Keep pushing when the nurse counts. You can do this.”  It’s the doctor’s voice again. I keep blacking out every time I try to push. Tommie has a hold of one leg while Finn has the other. They keep trying to tell me how well I’m doing and to push a littler harder, but the problem is every time I do I lose consciousness.

“That’s it, Tess, the baby is crowning. Keep pushing.”

The nurse’s words of encouragements help me push harder and longer. I just want this to all be over with. I’m not sure my body can endure any more stress.

“Wait, Tess, relax.”

The doctor and nurse both begin to whisper and then begin to frantically rush around the room.

Dr. Allen finally comes over to me. “You tried, Tess, we tried really hard to do this naturally, but we have to go into the OR.”

I begin wailing and frantically gripping onto Finn and Tommie. And as if living a real life nightmare, I begin to panic and scream. In this moment, I don’t care how long the pain lasts or when my babies come. I just don’t want to go under a knife.

“Can I come with?” I hear Tommie’s voice ask.

“We have nineteen minutes to get these babies out alive,” the doctor responds.

“Finn,” I scream reaching for his hand. “Finn.”

His hand slips away as I watch ceiling tile after ceiling tile past by my blurred vision and realize I never said goodbye to Finn or Tommie.

“Tessa, you need to calm down. I’ll take care of these babies. It’s my job.” The doctor rests his hands on my belly as we fly down to the OR.

Finn makes the announcement of his life before family and friends in the very tiny waiting room.

“Jimmy and Junior have arrived at 6:45 A.M. healthy and plump. Easily six pounds each.” I’ve been strong and held it together until this moment, but I can’t push back the pool of tears. “Tessa is amazing. She’s going to be the best mom ever.”

The Forever Kind

Coming Summer 2015.

Follow Will and Tommie on their new journey as parents. Get an inside look in their life.

Always to my readers, you’ve blown me away with your response to Finn and Tess’ story. Your daily messages have been nothing but inspiring. Thank you so much for allowing me to take this crazy ride. I’m nowhere near being finished, so stay buckled up for a good show. Never let anyone or group of people put you down. Always fight for what you want and one day when you look back you’ll know you won.

<3 HJ Bellus

To all the My Way Girl who have been by my side from book 1! Yes, I’m looking at you, assholes. I love you more than any words I could ever type. Jodie Ellis, always remember rule #1.

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