Walk Beside Me (Walk Series) (2 page)

Somehow I manage to make my way back out to my truck without physically falling apart. The haunted look in Finn’s eyes were almost the death of me. He’s with Kara now and well, I guess that leaves me to be on my own. As I open the driver’s door, I spot Finn’s dad glaring me down with a huge smile spread across his face. It’s no secret that he’s plenty thrilled about the circumstance. His eyes slowly drag down to my belly and instantly, I cover my baby with both hands. The man will never be able to hurt my baby even though he’s the grandfather. I’ll lay down my life to make sure of it.

Instinctively, I climb into my truck to place one more layer of protection between that evil man and myself. Before I can fully shut the door, I hear Kara’s voice streaming over the crowd. She’s putting on quite the show of thanking all the guests. You’d think it was her bridal shower instead of a funeral. The huge spectacle she’s putting on is something Granddaddy never stood for. He was a humble man with pride and respect. Quite ironic that she’s behaving this way, while Granddaddy’s family tries to lay him to rest.

I watch as Finn finally exits the church. Kara is by his side in moments with her hands all over him roaming up and down his chest and along his arms. It’s when she glides them up into his thick brown hair that finally makes me see red. She has no right to even be near him or touching him. I don’t even pretend to not be watching. I’m in a straight on stare at the couple. Kara shoots me a look before she steps up on her tiptoes placing a kiss on Finn’s cheek while both of her hands cover her barely protruding abdomen.

I have to give it to her, she’s a gorgeous pregnant woman. Her blonde hair is smooth and makeup is still done perfectly to the tee while the clothes which adorn her body are simply stunning. From the first day I laid eyes on Kara I’ve always thought she’s simply gorgeous.

A sharp jab to the right ribs pulls me from trance. Looking down at my swollen, well let’s just be honest, fat belly, I realize how disgusting I look pregnant. You always hear about glowing pregnant women. I definitely missed the boat on the glowing part. I just feel beyond puffy and swollen everywhere. When I saw Tommie today for the first time being very pregnant, she was the epitome of the glow factor, and she’s set to give birth any day now. It simply looked like a basketball was stuffed up her shirt. Her ass, hips, and face all looked perfectly normal.

There’s no way I can be jealous of Tommie though. She deserves a baby with Will and the perfect happy ending. I even noticed that Will was wearing some of that glow from Tommie. He’ll be the perfect daddy. Over our many phone calls Tommie told me that Will has read book after book about raising and tending to a newborn. We both laughed our asses off considering he’s a damn doctor, but I guess even doctors get scared too.

Finn makes eye contact with me when I fire up the engine, and I watch as his strong jaw line clenches. I watch him carefully as his tall black-clad shoulders stiffen and then worry hits his eyes, and before I know what’s happening, he’s jogging across the parking lot towards me. I’m frozen full of anxiety and worry.

I expected Finn to blow up at me in the bathroom chewing my ass for lying to him and running. He never did and still feel that brewing tension between us. My eyes dart around the parking lot to spot the whole crowd watching him makes his way to me. When my eyes land back on him, Finn is standing feet from the driver’s side window breathing heavily with hands perched on his hips.

I decide to step out of the truck to speak with him.

“Finn.” He moves his hands behind his head shifting his gaze up to the sky. “What’s wrong? Why did you run all the way over here?”

He doesn’t flinch at the sound of my voice or even acknowledge that he heard my question. Without thinking or waiting for him to speak, I take the last few steps to close off any distance between us. If I thought Kara was loud before, well, she’s practically screaming with panic now. Peeking around Finn’s torso I notice Wes detour Kara from marching her ass over to us. He takes her straight back into the church.

My hands wrap around Finn’s middle, and I hug him for the first time in months; truly feeling him like I used to. Every single ounce of my love for him pours out at full force. He’s the man who taught me to live again by not giving up on me, taking me to the pond, and spoiling me rotten this last summer. I’m the girl who ran and ruined it all.

“I still love you, Finn. I never stopped loving you. Your dad forced my hand. I had to sacrifice my happiness.” My cheek settles down onto his white dress shirt peeking out from under his dark jacket.

Finn remains frozen under my touch, and I can’t peel myself from him. To think the scene in the bathroom was tense, then this is beyond tense taken to a whole new level. I feel like a child holding on to lost hope knowing the outcome. I’m sure to onlookers I look like a spoiled brat clinging to Finn.

“I love you, Tessa.” The sound of his voice fills the air. His muscles move and I now feel his chin resting on the top of my head, but I refuse to let go of him. “I’ve never stopped loving you. I know what my dad did to you but still can’t figure out why you’d let him run you off. Did you think I wouldn’t fight for you?”

Finn steps back from forcing my arms to let go of him and this time the look on his face hurts me.

“I’m sorry.” Placing both hands over my heart, I clench on to the soft material of my dress. “Please, Finn.”

“You left me, Tessa. You ran. Wouldn’t take my calls and refused to even let me know if you were okay.” Finn clenches his fists full of his rich brown hair. “I gave up hope. Got drunk one night and fucked Kara.”

His words slice through me hard and fast, and I flinch with pain. His stare bores holes straight through me. His tears have dried with only hatred reflecting in his deep brown eyes. I have no words for him, there’s nothing I can say or do at this point.

“I’m sorry.” I slowly back up to the driver’s door, open it and crawl in. During the whole conversation my little teacup kicked like crazy.

Before I shut the door, I hear Finn’s voice one more time, “Are you leaving?”

I try to answer him but the words won’t leave my mouth. I try again and nothing but a little squeak escapes followed by streams and streams of tears.

“God dammit, Tess, I didn’t mean to upset you. You just fucked everything up. Everything. You broke my fucking heart and lied to me.” Finn steps towards the end of the curb leaning onto the frame of the door. He rests his forehead on his forearms. “I’m sorry, Tess, I just need to shut up.”

“I didn’t lie.” The words barely escape my lips and come out as a soft whisper.

“How do you figure?”

“I never lied to you, Finn.”

His hands fly to my belly and he raises an eyebrow while tilting his head to the side in question. “What are you going to tell me it’s not mine?”

“Fuck you, Finn.” I lurch forward grabbing for the door handle to slam it shut. His body is still perched between the door and me. At this point, I don’t care if he’s slammed or loses a limb.

“Well, what, it’s not mine?” Finn’s hands grab my chin forcing me to face him. His brows are drawn together in an agonized expression. “Who is he? If you didn’t lie then it has to be someone else’s.”

My hand flies to his face, slapping it hard. The effect of the slap leaves behind a stinging sensation in my hand. Finn’s expression grows even more hateful and resentful.

“Listen here, asshole.” My hands push off of his chest creating adequate distance between the two of us. “I didn’t lie to you. Your dad threatened to ruin my whole family if I didn’t leave you alone. You know all of that stuff.” I take a moment to catch my breath and dry my tears. “I was going to tell you about the baby at the county fair, but then your dad happened. It’s your baby. I haven’t been with anyone else, dickhead.”

This time I don’t give him a chance to respond. Instead, I slam the door hard giving Finn two options. One, get his hands shut in the door or two, jump out of the way. He was quick and jumped. I don’t look back this time at his face or even feel bad.
How dare he say those things to me?
I want to slam the truck into park and jump out lighting into his ass some more, but I keep driving. I’d love to let him know that he sounded just like his own father.

I try several times to stop crying and settle down, but every time I do I pass something in town that reminds me of him. The place where we used to eat lunch, his dad’s dentist office, his brother’s bar, everywhere I look it reminds me of him. My eyes narrow on the road and I refuse to look at any of the places as I drive down main street then teacup sends a jab straight into my right ribs. I’m starting to think there’s a permanent bulls-eye in there for this kid to kick, jab, and punch.

This kid reminds me of Finn.

“Fuck,” I finally scream and begin to the beat the steering wheel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”’

My fists begin to beat the dash of my truck as the tears continue to flow as does “fuck”. My brain barely registers the pain in my hands through my emotions. Everything is gone. I lost it all.

“Tessa.” A familiar voice invades the cab of my truck. “Stop, Tess, stop.”

Will’s hands grab for mine. The next thing I know is he’s pulling me from my truck and leading me into his house. The paved driveway and decorated cement pad leading up to their three-car garage all look exactly the same. Tommie steps out onto the front porch with a concerned look and it instantly makes me feel guilty beyond all control.

“Stop, Tess, don’t even feel bad. Get your ass in here.” Tommie holds open the door as I numbly follow Will’s lead.

Once I enter their house, I completely fall apart. It’s the smell and sights of my home. It’s the home I came to love last summer. My knees hit the plush burgundy carpet as I let go of everything. My sobs rack every inch of me as I pound the carpet with my fists.

“He’s with her. They’re having a baby. He hates me.” The plush carpet is the only thing my eyes can focus on as I have my mental breakdown.

I feel Tommie grab at my shoulders and Will scolds her for lifting. The two of them fight for a while before another voice enters the entryway. This one too is very familiar and accompanied with another male voice. Instantly, I know it’s Scarlett.

“Tessa, get up now.” Scarlett’s hands invade me lifting me to my feet. “Get your ass up now. You don’t get to act like this, Tessa.”

I’m not sure on the specifics but Scarlett peels me from the carpet guiding me to my bedroom and when she opens the door everything is the same. My bed is made with the red bandana bedding. The nightstand stands perfectly next to it with my momma’s antique lamp on it and pictures of Finn and me from the summer before decorate every surface possible. Pictures from the pond, selfies inside his bedroom, us in my bed after making love for hours, and my most favorite of us on Granddaddy’s porch in his rocker. When Granddaddy caught us that day.

The sweet lavender scent bathing my sheets comforts me a bit. My crying slows while my lungs try to catch up with my gasps. Scarlett pulls up the blankets, places a kiss to my forehead, and brushes away my hair plastered to my skin soaked in my own tears.

“I don’t feel sorry for you, Tess.” Scarlett stands to her feet straightening her dark black knee-high chiffon dress. “There’s no excuse for you running besides the fact you’re chicken shit.”

Sitting straight up, frantic at her words I finally speak, “Scar, don’t do this. I didn’t have a choice.”

“You had one and you ran. Oh, by the way, congrats on being pregnant. Sorry you couldn’t have hidden that from us while you’re here on your little visit. You’re a straight-up coward, Tessa.” Her hands grip onto the shiny metal of the doorknob throwing it wide open.

My hands rush over my belly and wonder about how much hurt I’ve caused others by doing the right thing. No one will ever understand the way Finn’s dad made me feel that day. One minute on top of the world with Finn by my side and our baby on the way to complete bottom with the threat from his dad.

I’ve experienced this horrible elating ride from being on the top of the world to crashing straight into your own tailor-made hell. It took me years to even gain some sense of life back.

Then as if my life was a record on repeat, it happened all over again. Except this time, I don’t get the luxury of giving up on the hope of life reinventing itself again. No, I have to stand straight back up for this baby.

For some odd reason, I held onto a sliver of hope that when the day came that I had to step foot back in this small town I’d find Finn waiting with open arms. I knew he’d be pissed and want answers, but the one thing I didn’t expect was Kara to be pregnant.

Just the thought of her name causes me to gag, so I focus back on Finn. Just like so many months ago when I’d lie in this same bed and fantasize about him. Mainly about our first time in the G-Spot. The way his hands agonized my skin with his simple touch to the look on his face when he saw my leg. My eyes slowly drift shut with each memory of Finn’s touches to my delicate skin. As I drift off to sleep, a mob of angry faces swarm me and as I search the crowd, I recognize Wes, Scarlett, and my sister. My eyes finally land on Finn. His expression is hard and cold but not nearly as cruel as the rest. Something in his eyes pulls me towards him. It might be hope, curiosity, or pure desire but whatever it is I find myself brave enough to walk past all the seething faces shooting glares my way.