Waiting for Rain (34 page)

“Do you think that’s all this is about?” he said quietly. “Just this sexual attraction, and one day it’ll be gone, and we’ll not be together anymore?”

I felt a wrench in my chest at his words. My Toby was feeling vulnerable, and all I wanted to do was reassure him I’d always be there for him. I leaned down, kissing him tenderly, taking his lips in a slow and gentle movement. When I released him, his eyes gazed up at me. I brushed hair from his face. “How do you think I know what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling? When I hear your voice, see your smile, and my bloody heart leaps like a salmon, what’s that all about?”

I saw the smile forming on his face as he listened. I was on a roll now.

“Would I let just anyone inside me? Do a bloody pole dance and fuck on a haystack for just anyone?” I mock groaned. “Listen to their bloody awful sheep jokes while sitting by a hedge waiting for a sheep stealer?”

He was giggling now, and the sound touched my heart. “The answer is definitely no. I love you crazily, Toby Prentiss, and I have no intention of ever leaving your side.”

He reached up then, pushing me back and covering my body with his.

“I love you too, Rain Engel. And I’m not going anywhere either.” His whisper sent shivers through my body. He kissed me fiercely, his hands cupping my jaw, and for a moment, I fell into a deep, warm place where the only thing that mattered was the man currently with his heated body against me and his hungry tongue probing my mouth like an octopus tentacle. When he let me go and lay beside me, snuggling into my side with his arm draped possessively over my stomach, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Chapter 19

Toby

O
VER
THE
next few weeks, the preparations for the upcoming November Winter Festival kept the hotel busy. As one of the main and most popular venues in the town, we were fully booked, to the extent that we had to turn many bookings down. We liaised with various bed-and-breakfasts in the area and tried to get potential customers settled in there. It was a manic time during the weeks in the run-up to the event. Tammy and I were stressed, and it didn’t help that we didn’t have our unflappable leader, Simon, there to bolster us up. He was still in Spain, but he was due back a few days before the fair started. He was bringing his boyfriend, Luis, over, and I was looking forward to seeing the man who seemed to have claimed my employer’s heart.

In my office, I scowled at Tammy as she once again patiently took the stainless-steel letter opener I’d been tapping the desk with. This time, she opened a drawer, dropped the offending implement in, and shut the drawer firmly.

“Why did you do that?” I asked petulantly. “It was like a stress ball. It keeps me focused.”

“And it drives me bloody mad, and while I’m sitting here with you, sorting out these bookings, I don’t need mad. I need calm. Toby, you are like a cat prowling the grounds looking for a pigeon to maul. I’ve never seen you this edgy.”

“I’ve never had to contend with the bloody Winter Festival on my own without Si either,” I said tightly. “I never realized just how much was involved, what he did for them to help out. And now I’m expected to fill his shoes. Those tossers at the council are so prim and proper, and getting the permits for everything is a bloody pain.” I scowled more. “And there’s that one idiot down there who doesn’t like me very much because I’m gay, and he’s done everything he can to make my life a bloody misery.”

I could more fully understand now why Simon had kept his sexual preferences to himself. There were a couple of clerks and councilmen in the town council who weren’t particularly accepting of gay men. It helped that Dave Webber had left, as he had been well entrenched with most of them and lent his views whenever he could in the past.

Tammy sighed. “I know that old fart Manson-Cooke is giving you a hard time, Toby. He’s just old-fashioned and a real prick. Ignore him. You’ve got Dave helping you get those permits you need for his barns, and no one will give him trouble. Everybody loves Dave.”

Dave Beddington was indeed a stalwart member of the town and involved on various council boards. Having him as my ally, as had Simon in the past, was a real boon. His barns were being used as the venue for the fair. They were huge, rambling buildings that would house the market stalls, the food hall, and the stage on which Rain was going to perform.

“That’s another thing,” I muttered. “Getting the council to agree to the bloody striptease was an absolute fucking pain. The previous councilor gave his blessing. Then he went and bloody left for pastures green, and Dave and I had to start all over again. The new guys said we were promoting porn, for God’s sake. One of them went as far as to say, in what he thought was out of my hearing, that what else could you expect from homosexuals, as they were so promiscuous.” I clenched my fists at the memory. “Dave had to literally hold me back from bashing the bugger’s smug face in.”

Tammy giggled, then sighed in sympathy as I glared at her. “But you have all the permits now, the pole dance and the striptease is going ahead, and everything is fine. So, settle down and start focusing on what we need to do here. Like ordering the catering in, getting all the bedding sorted, and helping me set the housekeeping rosters. Once we have that all sorted, maybe we can get off home to our respective lovers.”

The thought of getting home to Rain made me smile. I now spent most of my leisure time and weekends at his home, having almost moved in there, and my hotel room was used for illicit, quick lovemaking sessions and the times when I was just too tired to take the small Fiat Uno the hotel owned and drive home to Rain. With Chris doing the night shift and me having another focus now other than the hotel, things were streamlined and working well for us both.

“Lucas said they should be back by eight tonight. They were finishing off that library this week, and next week I think they start a job in Lincoln.” Tammy leaned back in her chair. “They’re getting a lot of really good jobs, aren’t they? The business is really growing.”

I nodded. “Yeah, Rain says he’ll need to employ more staff soon. He’s taken some of the money he made from his house sale in London, and he wants to invest it back in the business and buy new equipment.”

Rain had managed to get a very good price for his Chelsea home, and with his half share of the profits, he was well-placed now to expand his carpentry business. Tommy had duly been settled, and in fact, I’d chuckled when I’d seen the lawyer’s letter Rain had sent him with his statement of the proceeds. He’d insisted on sending the letter himself once the lawyer had finalized it. Right at the bottom, under “Other comments,” Rain had written, “Fuck you, and make sure you stay in Monte Carlo.” Said letter was winging its way to recipient Tommy MacDonald as we sat there debating how many cauliflowers we needed and whether or not to buy single- or double-ply toilet paper, forever a burning question when it came to restocking.

The hotel phone on my desk rang, and I answered it.

“Toby Prentiss.”

“Mr. Prentiss, this is Celeste Muir from the British Association for Fostering and Adoption.” She laughed softly even as my stomach went into turmoil. “We call ourselves BAAF for a reason. It’s a lot easier to say. You’re a difficult man to track down. I finally managed to find out where you work.”

My throat dried up. “What can I do for you?” I asked numbly.

What the hell was this all about? Had they found out I’d run away all those years ago? Had something in my past come back to haunt me?

Tammy looked at me, sensing something was up.

“This is a little unusual. But we’ve been approached by a man who asked us if we could track you down and make contact. I don’t want to do this on the phone, as the subject matter is a little sensitive. Could you perhaps come and see us in the Leicester office? I’ve been allocated the case by the head office in London, as I’m closer to you.”

I swallowed. I felt like I’d eaten chalk dust, and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I felt ill. “Exactly what is this all about? I’d rather have a bit more to go on before I come and see anyone.”

Tammy put down her pen, watching me carefully. My hands were trembling, and she frowned. She stood up and came over to me, laying a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Toby, what’s wrong?” she whispered.

I shook my head as I waited for Celeste Muir to respond.

She sighed. “A man approached us about six months ago. He said he was your father, and he wants to see you.”

A black hole opened and threatened to swallow me up. “My father died when I was born,” I managed to say. “I have no father.” I heard Tammy’s gasp.

The woman’s voice on the other end of the phone was sympathetic when she spoke. “I’m aware that’s what the file says. But this man says he is definitely your father, and he has the documentary evidence to prove it. Your birthday is 11 March 1985, and you were born in Cambridge to Claire Rose Prentiss née Martin. He has your birth certificate in his possession, and he is named as the father on it. Mr. Prentiss, I realize this must be a shock. It’s why I’d rather do this face-to-face.”

I was shaking my head, unable to process this information. “If he’s my father, where has he been all these years? And why is he getting in touch now?”

There was silence. “Mr. Prentiss, we can talk about this when we see each other. Are you able to come down—”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me the answers to my questions.” I gripped the receiver tightly. “I’m just not.”

Tammy was looking worried now. She kept mouthing words at me, but I couldn’t see what she was saying. I knew I should be over the moon I was being told I had family, but something deep in my soul just knew it was too good to be true. The sense of foreboding doom was too strong. Celeste remained quiet, and I heard the rustle of papers. I heard her take a deep breath, and I knew she was about to tell me something momentous.

“Your father has been in prison, Mr. Prentiss. And he has cancer—he’s dying and isn’t expected to live much longer. We normally find in these circumstances that people want to right wrongs, make peace. That’s why his solicitor approached us.”

I put the receiver back on the hook gently. I couldn’t face any more news. I thought perhaps if I put it down it might be as if the whole incident had never happened. I sat there, waiting for the world to keep turning and hoping it would go back to where I’d been before, talking to Tammy about mundane catering requirements. I heard the phone ring again, saw Tammy pick it up and talk quietly to whoever was on the other end. I watched as she put the phone down and walked over to me. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, laying her cheek on the top of my head.

“Toby, sweetheart, you need a cup of tea.” Her voice was unsteady. “That lady that called back has given me her telephone number, and told me to ask you to call her if you change your mind. I’m going to call Rain and get him to come back here. I think you need him. But first—tea.”

She disappeared out of the office. I was still sitting there when she returned with a steaming cup of tea, the balm for every ill known to an Englishman. She made me sip it while I thought about what I’d just been told.

“She says my father is alive and in prison. She says he’s dying of cancer, Tammy.”

Her face looked shocked, but she tried to keep it brave for me. “She didn’t say what it was all about, just that it involved your dad wanting to see you.”

“He’s not my dad,” I said between gritted teeth. “Don’t call him that. I don’t even know him. And from the sounds of it, I never will. Isn’t that just peachy, being told you have a long-lost father and he’s dying.” I laughed harshly. “The story of my fucking life, Tammy. Giveth then taketh away. Just like Maestro.” She would have no clue who or what Maestro had been to me.

“Toby—” She reached out a hand, and I stood up, my eyes hot with unshed tears.

“I need to be alone right now, Tammy. I’m going to my room.” I dashed out of the office, up the stairs, and into my room. I flung myself down on my bed, buried my face in the pillows, and then the tears came, scalding buckets of pure frustration and grief that seemed to never stop. I was spent, and I lay with sobs racking my body as I fell slowly into the deep, dark pit of sleep. I woke to the touch of someone stroking my hair and soft lips on my tearstained cheek. I opened my eyes blearily, looking into Rain’s loving blue eyes.

He reached out, wiping the sticky bits of hair from my face. “Hey, sweetheart.”

I sat up against the pillows. Rain scooted me over and sat next to me, pulling me into his arms, stroking my hair. I leaned into his strength and his warmth and felt a little more whole.

“Tammy told me what happened,” he said. “I’m so sorry, Toby. I called Celeste back and explained you’d got upset. She understood. She sounds nice enough. I said I’d talk to you and see whether you wanted to go and meet her to find out more. She wouldn’t discuss it with me, obviously.”

“What’s to know? I didn’t have a father because he was in prison, and now he’s dying, I’m not going to have one anyway.” My voice was bitter. “I was definitely a chip off the old block, wasn’t I? The apple didn’t fall far from the fucking tree—”

“Toby, shut the fuck up.” Rain’s voice was firm. “Stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself.”

My mouth dropped open in disbelief, and I struggled to move away from him, anger surging inside. But his strong arms held me like a vise grip.

“Rain, I swear, if you don’t let me go, I’ll punch you,” I threatened. He snorted, tightening his hold. It was like being in a straitjacket. Except I really didn’t
want
to get out of this one. I felt his heart beating in his chest as he pressed my head to it.

“I’d like to see you try, sport,” he murmured. “Now you listen to me. You don’t even know the circumstances behind why your alleged father is behind bars. And no matter what the reason, you are not like him. I couldn’t care what he did or didn’t do, I know my Toby. And my Toby is a decent, great man who didn’t deserve the shitty life someone dealt him but who still came through to be the man I love. And there’s another thing Toby has that no one else does.”