Waiting for Rain (36 page)

“Rain, do you have any idea where Toby might be? He left earlier this morning to go into town, and I haven’t seen him since. And now it’s almost lunchtime.”

I let go of the load I was trying to maneuver, wincing as my shoulder muscles complained. I sat down on the bed of the truck, glad for the respite. Passersby nodded at me amiably as I sat there, and I nodded back.

“No, I have no idea. Perhaps he went down to the council to check on all the permits and stuff for the fete? You know how anal he is about getting that all sorted.”

“No, he hasn’t been there either. I called a friend of mine down there, and she hasn’t seen him. It’s most unlike him just to go off like that.”

I was starting to get worried. “I suppose you’ve tried his mobile?”

“Yes. It goes straight to voice mail. I’ve left him a message.”

We were silent. It was indeed very unlike Toby to do something like this. I felt the first prickling of fear along my spine. “Well, I’ll try get hold of him, and you let me know if you hear from him.”

Tammy sounded a little worried. “I will. Ditto for you. Let me know the minute you hear anything.”

After we finished, I called Toby’s phone. It went straight to voice mail. I left him a strongly worded message asking him to call me as everyone was worried about him. By the time I’d finished off-loading the van an hour later, there was still no reply from him. I was really worried. I planned on finishing early and going back to my place to see if he was there. It was the only place I could think of that he could be.

When I got home, it was starting to get dark. The wind was bitter cold, and there was already frost on the ground. There were no lights on in the cottage. The front door wasn’t locked, and I went in and tossed my keys into the basket on the table at the front door. The central heating was on, so the rooms were warm at least.

“Toby? Are you here?” I wandered through to the bedroom and wrinkled my nose at the foul smell. It smelled like vomit. With some trepidation, I entered the bedroom and the source of the smell. My lover lay across the bed, clad in only his underwear. There was sick everywhere and an empty bottle of tequila next to him. My heart sank as I moved over to him quickly. I could see the rise and fall of his chest as I got closer, and I sighed in relief.

“Toby, you wanker, what the hell happened to you?” I tried waking him up, but he was out of it. His face was streaked with vomit, his chest hair matted and sticky, and I gagged at the smell. I’d always had a pretty sensitive stomach for this sort of thing, and I was already heaving. I picked him up, slinging him over my shoulder in a fireman’s lift, and made my way to the bathroom. With him still slung over me like a slab of meat, I started the shower. Cold water, I thought grimly. The little bastard deserved to freeze to death. He groaned once or twice, flailing weakly.

Once the shower was pelting down at full strength, I stepped into the wet room, dropping him to the floor. I was shivering from the soaking cold but determined he was going to see the error of his ways. He squealed like a pig being slaughtered, and I watched in satisfaction as his eyes opened, bloodshot and red-rimmed. He tried to move out of the way of the cold water. I stepped out, closing the shower door, watching as the water hit his body.

He gasped, slamming his fists on the door. “Fucking let me out of here, Rain, you bastard! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He weaved slightly, still drunk, his words slurred.

I shook my head, still shivering. I’d need to go and change. “No way, you need to sober up, you stupid prat. You bloody stink. Then you can tell me what happened.”

Toby’s face grew dark as he pounded his fists against the glass with such force I thought it would break. “Fuck you, Rain. Let me the hell out of here. I hate you, I fucking hate you….”

He slid down the back wall, despair coating his features like a wax model slowly melting. My heart broke at his words. I opened the shower and slid down next to him, pulling his cold, shivering body against me as his shoulders shook with the force of yet more sobs. I took no notice of the words he’d just said about hating me. He’d just been lashing out. Toby was one of the strongest men I knew, but this unraveling at the seams made my whole body ache and my eyes tear up. He leaned into me as I stroked his wet hair, his back, anywhere I thought might give him comfort. His lips were muffled against my shoulder when he spoke, and I had to push him away so I could hear.

“What’s that, honey? I couldn’t hear you.”

He gazed at me from green eyes fringed with wet black lashes, looking the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him. “He went and died on me, Rain. My father died this morning.”

I felt his pain and held him tighter as the water cascaded down on our bodies. The last time we’d been in the shower together we’d been making love, and the memory made my heart ache. “I’m so sorry. Shit, you must have been devastated. Why didn’t you call me? You know I would have come home. Instead you drink a bottle of bloody tequila and throw up everywhere.”

“Half a bottle, Rain. I’d be dead if it was a full one. In fact, it wasn’t even half. More like a quarter….” His drunken ramblings made me smile even as I stroked his shoulders. I made him get up with me, and we stood under the spray. He was a little unsteady, and I had to support him. I slowly slid his wet briefs down his legs and kicked them into the corner, then reached for the shower gel. I soaped up my hands and smeared it all over him, watching his eyes close in bliss at the touch. Both of us were semihard, but I was determined this was not sexual but healing. He moaned softly as I soaped him down, clearing the crusted sick from him until he was sparkling. Then I got him out of the shower, wrapped him in a big, fluffy towel, and made him sit on the lavatory seat until I’d cleaned up the bed. I just hoped he wouldn’t fall off it. I slipped out of my wet clothes, got into a pair of sweatpants, then removed all the covers, sheets, and pillow slips and dragged out the spare ones from the closet. Once the bed was made, I fetched my drowsy lover from the bathroom and tucked him into bed. I sent a quick text to Tammy to tell her Toby had been found, and then I climbed into bed, settling myself behind him, my arms wrapped around his waist.

“Sleep,” I whispered as he snuggled in, eyes already closed and half-asleep.

“I’m so sorry I got sick, Rain. I couldn’t help it. Then I got so tired I just passed out.” His abject tone and slurring made me smile. My man was going to have a grandmother of a headache in the morning. I kissed his shoulder softly, and he sighed in pleasure.

“Just sleep, Toby. We’ll talk in the morning. I love you.”

“Love you too” was the sleepy rejoinder.

I lay awake for a while, listening to his breathing getting deeper, then dropped into sleep.

I awoke to the sound of someone being violently sick. I grinned and glanced at my watch. It was 7:00 a.m. I got out of bed and wandered into the bathroom. Toby was hunched over the toilet bowl, starkers, his face green as he hurled his guts up. I’d thought he might have got rid of most of it last night, but I was obviously wrong. I observed him as he retched and groaned loudly. I admired the sight of his tight, naked backside.

“You okay there, Toby?” I’d meant it to sound concerned, but it obviously didn’t come out that way as my boyfriend rudely raised his middle finger at me in reply. I had to admit I had sounded a little smug. I waited for him to finish. Then he stood up, tottering a little before picking up his toothbrush and moving to the washbasin.

I grimaced. “I was going to kiss you good morning, but you can forget that now.” The finger was raised again. I chuckled. “How’s the head? Do you need any painkillers?”

“Taken them already” was the gargled reply as Toby brushed his teeth. His face was pale, his eyes stark, and he looked washed out. I waited for him to finish rinsing his mouth out. Then as he turned, I pulled him over and hugged him.

“Good morning.” I nuzzled his neck, smelling the scent of sweat and sheer Toby. He still smelled of watermelon shower gel. “Do you remember much of last night? You were pretty out of it.”

He scowled as he pressed himself against me, and I felt his morning erection pressing into my stomach. I dutifully ignored it. Hanky-panky could wait.

“I remember you shoving me in the fucking shower and putting the cold water on full blast,” he growled. “Bloody sadist.”

I shook my head. “Oh no, my sadism would be much worse than that. The whole slapping thing, remember?”

He laughed, and I heard the old Toby somewhere inside. “Yeah, you definitely like that idea, Rain. We’ll have to see what we can do about it.” He moved away from me, into the bedroom, and started dressing in his suit. He was obviously going to work.

“Toby, do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly. “Last night—you were hurting, honey. Let me help.”

He turned to look at me, his eyes sad. “Rain, he died. I knew he was going to. It just—hurt, that’s all. A link to my past just gone. I went a bit off the rails for a minute. But I can’t do anything about it. I need to forget about it and move on.” He kissed my cheek softly as he brushed by me. “I have you. You’re all I need.” He looked down at my sweats, changing the subject. I let him if that’s what he wanted. “Are you going to drive me in or should I get a taxi? I’m going to be late anyway. What are your plans for today?”

I moved away and pulled on a tee shirt, changing my sweats for jeans. “I’ll drive you in. You’re probably over the limit still. Are you sure you don’t want to stay here, sleep it off?”

He shook his head. “I’d rather be at work. I’ve loads to do. The work for the hotel for this bloody fair and the extra traffic through town is driving me crazy, and November fifth is only two weeks away.” He glanced at me. “Are you all set up for your dance routine, by the way? How’s it going?” He smiled smugly. “You know we sold all the tickets for your show?”

I grinned. “Good to hear. I’ll have a wide audience, then. As to my routine—you’ll have to wait and see like everyone else. But I promise you, you’ll like it.”

He looked suspicious. “Rain, we agreed. Nothing too raunchy. I know it’s a private show, over eighteens only, but there’ll be old ladies there. I don’t want to be managing heart attacks.”

I leered at him. “Would I do that to you? You know I leave the real sexy stuff till we’re alone.”

He eyed me, then sighed. “Come on. Hurry up and let’s get off. I have a day job to get to.”

B
OTH
T
AMMY
and Lucas were understanding about Toby’s father’s death and him scaring us all to death. They hugged him, telling him if he needed to talk, they were there. I could see that all Toby wanted to do was forget about it for the moment, so we all played along.

A week later a parcel arrived for Toby. It contained an envelope of his father’s last possessions, things that had been with him at the hospital prison. I sat with my boyfriend as he sorted through the meager debris of a man’s life. Toby’s birth certificate was in there, along with some of his baby pictures and some of his mother and Vince together. He was quiet as he sorted through them, and I knew he must be hurting. But when he’d finished, he turned to me with a sad smile.

“I’ve got more now than I had before, Rain. I should be grateful.” I knew he wasn’t just talking about the stuff he’d been left, and my heart swelled with love for him.

The date of the fair loomed upon us sooner than we knew. Dave Beddington was experienced in putting the whole thing together, and I had no doubt, in his large, capable hands, it would be a success. The town was abuzz with the talk of crochet and jam stalls.

Simon and Luis arrived two days before the event, and I was pleased that Toby had his old employer back. Regardless of how Simon felt about Toby, the two men were very close, and in Toby’ eyes, Simon was family. That made the man good enough for me, even if I did watch him closely that he didn’t try and hit on my lover. But I had the feeling Luis would have had something to say about that. He was a handsome, slight Spanish man, clean-shaven, with sparkling eyes. Simon had introduced him to people as an “old friend.” Luis’s eyes had narrowed at the term. Simon obviously wasn’t quite ready to come out to the town yet as being bisexual. I had the feeling Luis disapproved of that approach.

The morning of the Winter Festival, Toby was in full mission mode, giving instructions to the hotel staff, making sure the hotel ran like clockwork, and threatening death to anyone who didn’t pitch in. Simon was back in full force too, and the two of them were something to be reckoned with, although I would have taken Simon on rather than Toby. My lover in full boss mode was quite intimidating, and I was pretty turned on by the sight. I hoped we’d have a chance to get together for a little personal time before I did my routine later that afternoon. It wouldn’t be very good sprouting a huge erection while I was doing my dance routine.

I was sitting, admiring the sight of Toby driving everyone else crazy for a change, when Lucas ambled over to me, looking like a shaggy bear in his baggy jeans, oversize tee shirt, and with blond fuzz on his face. “Rain, that man of yours is a bloody terror.” He chuckled. “He’s a bossy little git, isn’t he?”

I nodded proudly. “He is that. Simon’s created a monster.” I watched as Toby loomed menacingly over some poor unfortunate waiter, giving terse instructions as to how to fold the napkins on the dining tables. The waiter looked as if he was going to burst into tears. I grinned.

Lucas was watching him with both admiration and disbelief. “He’s like some sort of unholy Sybil Fawlty,” he said wonderingly.

I snorted with laughter at that comparison. Toby would be quite proud of being compared to the bossy, efficient character from the cult TV series
Fawlty Towers
.

He looked at me. “Talking of Simon, where is he? I’d have thought he’d be here with Toby.”

I shrugged. “He said Toby had everything under control, so he and Luis went over to give Dave a hand.”

Lucas nodded. “What time is your shindig on stage, then? Everything all set up?”