Vulture (13 page)

14 - Exile

It was dreamlike seeing her this way–the way she moved, flitting around the cabin, worrying away at the hazelnuts with her hands. She calmed after her breakdown earlier, something he didn’t blame her for in the least. In her relaxed state she was laughing again, smiling shyly, thoughtfully flipping through pages of manuscripts piled in the corner. She helped him when he netted fish from the creek for dinner or breakfast. He wasn’t really sure which since they’d spent the day asleep and the night awake. The salmon tasted the same as always once they’d skinned it and smoked it over the fire pit behind Mallorn’s cabin. Conversation had been idle. She spent time chirping back at the birds and lounging in the grass staring at patches of sky amidst the trees. These were things Krishani dreamed about having with her–a carefree life bereft of the reality of death, hardships of the lands, and threats of foes. He begged the night to dawdle so they could leisurely hang onto the last wisps of their solitude.

But the sun betrayed him, nefariously shooting rays into the sky and covering them with the nascence of dawn. Kaliel dozed off on his leg and he gently nudged her awake. She sat and swiveled, hugging her knees to her chest and watching the sun with reservations. Krishani noticed the crease of worry streaked across her forehead. So she was thinking the same thing.

He never wanted to leave.

The embers from the fire died down, the skillet next to it dirty with their late night meal. He took the skillet to the creek to wash it off but she curled her hand around his ankle. He stopped and looked at her troubled expression.

“We have to leave,” he said, pulling his leg out of her grasp and descending the hill. He dipped the skillet in the crystal clear waters, watching the fish swim amongst the rocks. The contents of the skillet melded with the water and soon it was crystal clear again, trickling towards the lake and the rest of Nandaro. A set of arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him against her. He tensed at the motion. She wasn’t quite tall enough to put her chin on his shoulder and he felt it digging into his shoulder blade, her head tilted to the sky.

“I had a dream about the waterfall,” she began.

Krishani hung his head and sighed. He unhooked her arms and put the skillet beside him, turning to face her. “We can’t stay.”

She took a step back, that same worry streaked across her face. She crossed her arms. “Where will we go? Back to Elwen? You don’t even like it there.” She shot him a reproachful look.

He narrowed his eyes. “But Pux is there.”

Kaliel dug her toe into the ground which was so like her it made Krishani feel tingles in his heart. “He thrives with the villagers,” she muttered, still acting like a precocious child.

Krishani didn’t want to listen to it. He knew what being here would mean to her. He knew she wouldn’t be able to let it go. It was just as hard for him to think about leaving again. He picked up the skillet and climbed the hill to the cabin. She followed him through the back entrance and they passed her bedroom before entering the living room on the right. He sat down in Mallorn’s chair and ran both of his hands through his hair, stopping halfway and gripping it with his fingers. He heard her sink into the chair beside him and let out an exasperated sigh.

He didn’t know how to explain it. Without him the curse would come back; the Horsemen were out there. He couldn’t tell her Morgana was going to awaken the Valtanyana. After everything that happened, he couldn’t burden her with the fact that, while the first battle was finished, the war was far from over. Something else was coming, and it was bigger than both of them. The dark place he found in himself wasn’t nearly dark enough to fight against it. He hoped that because he helped Tor and because the Great Hall returned Kaliel to him he would have more help than the Avristar army. Against Crestaos they proved valiant, but against the other ten members of the Valtanyana they would be completely useless. Morgana had ways of getting into people’s dreams. She could cause the entire battalion of archers to dream about their skin falling off.

He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them and glared at her unintentionally. “We’re not even allowed to be here.”

She looked away, her bottom lip trembling. “Nobody is looking for us, or you. We could stay here,” she rebutted quietly. She sighed. “Or we could go to the Elmare Castle and show them I’m alive. I miss Atara and Desaunius so much.”

Krishani let his hair go and ran his hands along his breeches. “You know that isn’t a good idea. You don’t know what Istar was like … after.” Flashes of the royal cloak embroidered with the symbol of Avristar, Istar a top Paladin riding alongside him, coming to stop him from reaching the volcano before it exploded crossed his mind.

“I don’t really miss him. He was always so hard on you.”

Krishani forced himself to smirk. “You don’t know the half of it.” He sat back, resting his head on the wood. “He was upset because of the snowstorm I caused.” He closed his eyes and heard her shift in her chair uncomfortably. When he opened them again she was staring at him in shock.

“Snow?”

Krishani realized his mistake too late and cleared his throat. “I left the battle to find you. I was almost there when the mountain exploded. Istar stopped me. All I could think about when I heard the explosion was snow, snowstorms—” he cut himself off and gauged her reaction. She had a pensive look on her face. It wasn’t so much shock but deep concern. He reached over and grabbed her hand, gently twining his fingers through hers.

“I told you I was late, and that was why.” His eyes implored her to understand, to stop asking questions and be satisfied. He masterfully left out the part about his coma, his unwillingness to live without her, and the curse that almost turned him into a Vulture.

She met his gaze with a cold stare. “I hate him. I hate him for all the things he did to you and for his lack of compassion.”

Krishani shot her a wan smile. “He was never the Lord we thought he was. He was always going to exile me. That’s why I don’t want to go to the waterfall. I think if I encounter him there’s no telling what would happen.” He rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand and looked at the stump between them. The skillet with the hazelnuts sat there, only a few nuts left.

He was ashamed of the way things had blown up with Istar. The land reacted so violently to his mood swings that the rain and the snow were unintentional, but it mirrored the pain he felt. He couldn’t help that his emotions controlled the weather.

Kaliel looked uneasy. Her expression turned from mournful to devious. “You know, there were a lot of things that were forbidden on Avristar,” she began. Krishani didn’t follow her train of thought. He was bewildered as she pulled her hand out of his grasp. She stood and climbed onto his lap, straddling him. She kept her gaze steady on his mismatched eyes and he felt the fire in her rising. “I know we have to leave, but there’s no harm in sneaking around Orlondir one last time, is there?” She dropped her lips to his ear. “They don’t even know we’re here,” she whispered, pressing her lips against his neck. He caught her by the upper forearms and went to pull her away when she pulled back on her own.

“Have I ever mentioned how peculiar you are?” It was so easy getting lost in her. The way she thought the lands were hers to explore and that she was impervious to rules and even death was both exciting and slightly unsettling. He wanted to believe this little excursion would satisfy her need to be home, but something told him that going to Orlondir would only make it hurt more than it already did. She might have been able to lighten the mood, and their one day and one night together in the forest might have had its happy moments, but there was so much melancholy surrounding them that it was hard to ignore.

She giggled, a sound he was so used to it made his breath catch in his throat. “Does that mean we can go?” She seemed excited.

Krishani nodded. “But we need to wait for nightfall.”

• • •

There was something pristine about the way they were aware of each other. Kaliel noticed it in the middle of the day when she was reading manuscripts and Krishani sat there watching her like he wanted to sketch her. She put the book down and he instinctively brought his hands to his lap. Their eyes met, and she took a sip of the tea he made. She was appreciative that he was so good with his hands. It didn’t matter if she had been through an ordeal, she still couldn’t remember the names of herbs any better than she could in her previous incarnation. Krishani found it funny that she had to ask him a lot of questions while he sat there cutting up herbs, boiling water, and steeping tea. Certain things came naturally to him the same way blooming flowers and talking to trees came naturally to her. She didn’t understand how her gifts were useful.

The day passed in comfortable silence until the fire Krishani had started made the cabin stuffy. Kaliel got up from the chair and put the manuscript down. She padded towards her room in search of the bag of things she had taken with her from Orlondir. She pulled it out of the corner and began rummaging through it. Sure enough there were two ivory dresses. Her traveling cloak still hung behind Mallorn’s door. It was never chilly in Avristar before the mountain exploded and so she never felt the need to wear it. Now the nights were cold, causing her to feel the same unnerving feeling she had felt since she stepped foot on the land. While it would always be instilled with magic, it wasn’t the same as when she left it.

Kaliel held the dress against her chest. She wondered if it would fit her wiry frame. She closed the door to the small room and quickly peeled the black dress from her body. It had long sleeves with buttons down the arms and strings in the back that made it seem like a death trap. It was also longer and made of heavier material than what she was used to. She pulled the ivory dress over her head, did up the buttons in the back, and tied the straps around her neck. It was a little tight across her torso but it otherwise fit the way it always did. She ruffled her long, curly hair around her shoulders, letting it fall around her face. It was hard getting used to the black locks that were the mainstay of her new life.

Feeling better and noticing the sunset, she folded the black dress and stuffed it into the bag. She really wasn’t sure what would happen. Part of her never wanted to leave Avristar again if she could help it, whereas another part of her felt it was inevitable. She stopped fussing with her appearance and went into the front room. Krishani was looking at the fire, but his head snapped to her and he did a double take. She pirouetted lightly on her toe, looking at him for approval.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

He crossed the floor without words and cupped her face in his hands, pressing his lips hard against hers, the way she liked it. She returned the passion as his hands trailed along her sides. Her hands caught his wrists before he found the hem of her dress. She pushed his hands away. He came up for air, a hungry expression cast across his contrasted features.

“You look like you,” he said.

She grabbed the ends of her black hair and twirled it around her fingers. “Except for this.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, kissing her again. He took a step forward, forcing her into the bedroom. She paused at the doorjamb, putting a hand on it to brace herself. He dropped his lips to her neck, tracing the outline of her dress with his tongue as she curled her fingers into his shoulder-length locks of black hair. “I should take it off and make love to you again,” he murmured, his lips near her breast.

Kaliel laughed. “I was thinking you could wait,” she said as he stopped and let her out of the awkward position she had gotten herself into with one leg wrapped around his waist, one arm around his shoulder, and the other bracing the door so she didn’t crush her spine into it. He returned her look with a challenge.

“I waited all day,” he said.

“Until we are at the waterfall?” She stole a glance out the window in the bedroom. The land was covered in light shades of gray before pure darkness hit, stars and moonlight lighting the land in paleness. Krishani grunted incomprehensibly and moved to the stump.

“I thought I could distract you from that,” he admitted.

“I need to see it again,” she lamented, remembering briefly the dead end at the edge of the beach, the way the trees blocked her from the water. The trees moved for her, but Krishani was nothing but an obstacle.

He nodded imperceptibly and grabbed his cloak off the back of the chair, fitting it over his clothes and drawing the hood around his face. Kaliel’s heart dropped as he left the cabin as swiftly as any other member of the Brotherhood of Amersil. Krishani seemed like a different person in his cloak. It was his protection from the lands, a place where he shut out everything and everyone. She threw on the traveling cloak before racing down the mound and crossing the creek behind him.

They walked through the forest in silence for a long time. Krishani let his hand slip out of his cloak to grip hers, giving her hand a squeeze for reassurance. Her heart raced for no good reason as they reached the break in the trees and the fields of Orlondir stretched out before her for the first time in moons. The rolling hills were the same as they had always been–bright green pastures of endless, beautiful plains. The proof a battle had touched Avristar wasn’t there. Krishani tensed beside her and she felt it, knowing that this was where he fought for her. A knot formed in her stomach, festering, as they continued to shuffle across the fields, cresting hills and racing across shallow valleys. It wasn’t long before Mount Tirion loomed above them. The nervous tension increased as they passed the path to the Gatekeeper. Krishani didn’t say anything as he pulled past the forest vegetation covering the north side of the mountain and ducked into the brush beside the courtyard. He wended through the thicker beds of trees and shrubs that characterized the mountain and the waterfall. It wasn’t long before he broke through to the path Kaliel was used to traveling so many times during her youth. He took a left and wound down the thin trail until Kaliel heard the rushing of the falls.