Vulture (12 page)

13 - Avristar

Kaliel swayed in Krishani’s arms, closing her eyes and breathing in the saccharine scent of the land. Joy consumed her, explored the far reaches of her limbs. She hadn’t felt truly alive until this moment. She was a soul in a shell but she wasn’t whole. Strips of dawn light shot into the sky, covering them in a faint yellowish tinge. Rays of sun tickled her senses as her eyelids fought to shut. She forced them open, unable to deny herself the pleasure of watching the sunrise. She turned in Krishani’s arms and tilted her head to his. He had the same lazy smile on his face though it was tainted with worry. He relaxed his grip and turned to the trees.

It was hard not to notice the skeletons of rotted trees. They had black branches and whitish colored bark splotched with shades of gray. Krishani grabbed Kaliel to steady her as she almost fell on her knees. There was no denying what this was. Krishani pulled her against him, his arm around her shoulders.

“Try not to look at it.”

Kaliel let out a sigh and let him pull her around the path of Crestaos’s unnatural destruction. She may have been free of him but the intense fear that flooded her senses at the thought of him was enough to make her sick.

“He always knew where I was,” she said as Krishani led her through a make-shift path. She thought about his upbringing with the Brotherhood of Amersil, the way they forged the forest paths. He was still familiar with the ways of the land, the skills he learned from the Brothers. She shrugged his arm off her shoulders and hugged her arms to her chest. It was dimmer under the cover of the tall spruce, reds, and elder trees, but Krishani found a way around them, avoiding nettles and pools of mud.

She tripped over something and almost stumbled onto her knees but caught herself and stood upright. Krishani glanced at her, concerned, and shook his head. “You’re still clumsy.”

She crossed her arms but didn’t stop. “Where are we going?”

Krishani pushed branches out of his way and looked at her over his shoulder. “Mallorn’s cabin.”

She shuffled her feet along the ground, pools of sadness festering in her gut. She didn’t want to see the cabin, the last place she had been before the Village of the Shee, before awakening Avred. She hiccupped and went to say something but Krishani stopped. He looked at the land with hesitation. She caught up and put her hands on his shoulders, peering around him at the trail leading through the trees. A thick ashen mark streaked through the land, marring it forever. Krishani wrapped his fingers around her hand.

“He didn’t take you,” he murmured.

“What about the destruction he left behind?” She moved ahead, attempting to step on the ash itself. Her foot hovered, but Krishani pulled her back.

“We need to go around it.”

“Why?” She didn’t want to avoid what Crestaos had caused; she wanted to overcome it. Facing it was the only way to do that.

Krishani hung his head. “I made that mistake once, and it made me sick.” He stepped away, not letting her out of the iron grip and led her beside the unnatural trail. They tarried alongside it for a long time before the mound and the creek came into view, the stripe of marred land running across the hill.

Kaliel sunk to her knees at the stream. She didn’t know what to think or what to say. The cabin was untouched, cellar doors wide open, creek babbling away. She went to her feet, ready to race across the grass and open the barn doors. She missed Mallorn’s horses. Krishani wasn’t fast enough this time. She heard him shout a warning behind her as she broke into a sprint and reached the gate. She noticed the stripe of decay streaked along the left side of the barn as she unclasped the bar and dropped it, letting the doors pull open almost on their own.

It was empty.

Krishani caught up, following her gaze. He let out a sigh of relief and Kaliel frowned. What happened to the horses? None of it felt real to her, nothing was the same as she left it. Krishani’s expression created a muddle of knots in her stomach, but she forced herself to look at him.

“Why aren’t they here?” She fixed him with a hard stare. He had the answers, and acting taciturn only made her grief deeper.

“There are so many things you don’t understand,” he muttered. Kaliel crossed her arms and waited for an answer. She wanted to collapse and not think about these things anymore, but it was impossible not to. She had to know the truth about what happened after she awakened Avred. Krishani stared at her.

“He killed the horses.” There wasn’t any emotion behind his voice, nothing to console her.

Kaliel felt the hole in her heart growing larger, but she didn’t faint. She pushed past Krishani and crossed the creek, being careful not to fall in. He followed her as she crested the mound and rounded it, stopping at the front door. She tried the knob and pushed the door open. The cabin was exactly the way she remembered it–a kitchen to the left, a sitting room in front of her, two big wooden chairs, a stump for tea, a fireplace behind the chairs, and her tiny room off to the right. It was hard to be there with the tattered manuscripts lying all over the ledges, end tables, book-shelves, and floor. There was one knocked over on its side, slumped like it had been open but left in a hurry. She went to pick it up as Krishani shuffled inside the house, wiping his brow with the sleeve of his cloak.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be happy to come here.” He crossed the floor and dropped into the wooden chair. He leaned forward, his gaze digging into her.

Kaliel picked up the manuscript and righted it, smoothing out the bent edges of paper. She put it on the end table thoughtfully, reading the titles of the stacks of scripts. Her shoulders drooped and she felt it like a tidal wave. They lost so much. Mallorn was gone and Avristar wasn’t the same. Krishani sat back and she crawled into his lap, nestling herself in his strong arms. Sobs shook her fragile frame as he stroked her back.

Even though she did everything she could to protect and preserve them, Avristar was still broken. The land itself had a grim tone of animosity, like every tree stood to guard the kinfolk. They were no longer there to guide and help them with their never-ending wisdom. She fought for air at the thought and succumbed to the sadness that had been inside her since she appeared on the battlefield, pressed up against a boy as cold and unfeeling as the land she woke up on.

Krishani gently pulled the locks of black hair away from her ears and face, letting curls tumble down her back as he ran his fingers through it. She felt the gesture but she couldn’t respond to it. He was only trying to help; he saw all of this before.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and Kaliel realized that he had said that five times already. She kept her cheek pressed against his chest and let out a sigh, trying to stop the tears.

“How can I be happy when this is all my fault?”

“Don’t think about it,” Krishani said.

“I miss everything being the way it used to be.” She pressed her hands to her heart unable to quell the sensation of it breaking in half. Another wave of tears escaped her eyes and she squeezed them shut, trying to find solace.

“You can’t change the past,” he mumbled.

Kaliel slumped and took a deep breath. “Were you there when Mallorn died? Did you see it?” She remembered his frequent dreams of death and the way he was racked with so much grief even during their good times together. Istar was a harsh mentor, and Krishani was not only a precocious apprentice but a disappointing one as well.

Krishani tensed and untangled his fingers from her hair. She sensed him remembering something and pressed her palm to his chest. “Tell me.” She already heard a version of the story from Pux, but this was different. Krishani was the Ferryman; the only thing she knew for sure was that they dealt with death.

He let out a long breath. “I was there. He was ready to die, and he asked me to help.”

“Who killed him?”

Krishani grunted in response and shifted his weight, trying to get comfortable. Kaliel shifted too, then sunk into him again. She wasn’t letting the question go. She wanted to know everything, but both Pux and Krishani were willing to tell her so little. She couldn’t imagine what could be so bad about
not
losing their lives.

“The Daed killed him. They were controlling the Flames.” His tone was curt, abrupt.

Kaliel sighed. So it wasn’t any different than what Pux had said. Mallorn died at the hands of a Flame. By association, it was her fault. If she hadn’t awakened the night Krishani made love to her, she wouldn’t have revealed her location and she might still be safe. “Why did you go to Terra?”

“I already told you,” he said through gritted teeth.

“No, I mean why didn’t you hide in Nandaro?”

Krishani sighed. “Because you told me to go to the Lands of Men.”

Kaliel frowned, the memory evading her. “I don’t remember.”

“You said it before you went to awaken Avred.”

She closed her eyes and tried to recall the conversation. Bits and pieces came back to her: Mallorn angry, Crestaos coming for her, awakening Avred, Krishani unable to come with her. It was clear but the exact words weren’t fresh in her mind. She pushed her head into his shoulder and her lips met his collar bone unintentionally. Her limbs were heavy, and she was all out of tears to cry. All she wanted was sleep. She yawned and pushed herself up, meeting Krishani’s eyes before she looked at the bedroom. It had been forever since she’d slept in that cot. She gingerly pushed herself off him and stretched her arms out. He wasn’t looking at her; he was fiddling with the sleeve of his cloak.

“I’m going to sleep,” she announced as she padded towards the bedroom.

Krishani didn’t move as she folded herself under the covers and fell into a deep sleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

• • •

Kaliel woke to the smell of burning wood and hazelnuts. She stretched and yawned as she peered into the living room. Krishani had lit a fire and sat with a skillet of hazelnuts on the stump. She crossed the floor, her bare feet sinking into the shaggy rug. She hadn’t noticed before how cozy Mallorn’s cabin was, how in the three moons she’d spent with him she had grown accustomed to his way of living. This was a life she could accept.

“Ahdunie,” Krishani said as she fell into the other big chair across from him and took a warm hazelnut in her hands.

“Ahdunie,” she repeated wistfully. She cracked the nut with her teeth and pried it open with her fingertips. The familiar taste was soothing, and after one she had another and another. She hadn’t noticed it before, but the sun was setting. “Did I sleep all day?” She felt groggy.

Krishani nodded. “I slept some, too, but you were like a rock, and I didn’t want to wake you.” He took another hazelnut.

She twisted her hands in her lap and sat back in the chair, drawing her knees up. “It doesn’t feel the same. I get tired more easily. My arms and legs hurt more. I don’t know why.” She ran her hands over the black fabric of her ankle-length dress. She met Krishani’s concerned gaze.

“You’ve been through a lot.” He idly picked another hazelnut, whittling away at it with his long, calloused fingers. His knuckles were more defined, rising peaks against his pale skin. Her eyes trailed over the left one, and then the right. She noticed it was grayish, like something was wrong with the skin. He caught her staring and jerked his hand away, covering it with his sleeve.

“It’s a battle scar,” he said before she had a chance to ask. “I started a fire while you were sleeping. There wasn’t a lot to do.”

“So you went out to get hazelnuts?” She tried to enjoy the few quiet moments they had alone. It was like they turned back time and were at a point between their first night together and the destruction that had almost wiped away everything they loved.

Krishani nodded.

“You didn’t read?” She raised an eyebrow. She used to read all the time when she was with Mallorn. He had stories about valiant knights and beautiful princesses. He had manuscripts meant to be burned because they turned a hero into a war monger and an enemy into a friend. People in the First Era lost their lives due to the treachery of the Valtanyana, but they orchestrated catastrophes and sometimes the destruction was due to manipulation. Mallorn fought a war spurred by the Valtanyana. Two sides were in peace until Rahedra turned the people against each other. She shuddered at the thought and Krishani laughed.

“You really think I would read?”

She pressed her lips together to suppress a smile. Istar ordered him to the library many times but he never listened. He would rather be at the waterfall with her. “No I guess not. But Mallorn doesn’t have stuffy books on Avristar traditions, you know. He has information on the Valtanyana.” Krishani straightened at those words and stood, pacing like he was vexed about something. He ran his hands through his hair and took slow, steady breaths. Kaliel frowned. “There were eleven of them.”

“I know,” he seethed. He whipped around to face her, his eyes blazing. She knew it wasn’t directed at her, but there was something in them she didn’t like. “Mallorn told me about them.”

Kaliel relaxed and let her knees drop. She picked up another hazelnut. “So you already know. It shouldn’t matter. The Daed only released Crestaos, and you killed him.” She glanced at him. He stood in the tiny foyer looking the way she did when she wanted to take off to the lake and glide through the serene waters with the merfolk.

He let his shoulders drop. “I could use some air.” He clumsily opened the door, stumbling out onto the mound. Kaliel raced to her feet and followed him, knowing something still bothered him about all of this. He stopped when he heard her behind him and sat in the grass, staring at the creek and the line of ash left by Crestaos. She sat beside him and put a hand on his knee. It was unsettling to be outside, so close to where Crestaos destroyed the land.

“What’s wrong?” she asked gently, her eyes tracing the contours of his tense jawline. His hands were fisted, and he concealed the right one as much as he could.

“You were gone,” he said, his voice almost breaking.

“I know.” She rested her head on his shoulder and held his left arm with both of hers, sitting there as he watched the water trickling towards the lake. They stayed that way for a long time until the pitch black of night covered them and the chirrups and scuttles of the animal folk interrupted them. Kaliel pulled on Krishani’s arm and forced him to his feet.