Voyage To Submission (6 page)

Jack grinned and walked around the foot of
the bed. He didn’t have to be hit over the head to know the mood had been lost
for tonight. While he’d prefer staying here with Andy, even if they sat on the
sofa downstairs and watched television, it was obvious she would prefer to be
alone. He wasn’t a fool and he wasn’t going to press forward too soon, hoping
to God he had not just screwed up everything. Picking up the filmy soft
negligee, he carried it back around to the side of the bed.

It took him a moment to realize Andy wasn’t
reaching for the negligee or sitting back up. Watching her lying on her side
with the one arm stretched above her, he wondered if she was comfortable.
Still, something about her didn’t look like she was relaxed.

“Is there a problem, Andy?” he asked
finally, still holding the negligee.

“Uhm, sort of, I can’t get back up.”

“Okay, just give me your hands—”

The shaking of her head told him his
suggestion was useless. The fact she was being modest seemed beyond logical
since he was the kind of guy who felt comfortable walking around in his
underwear or less, if need be.

“If you just let go of the pillow—”

Once again the negative movements of her
head told him this idea was equally useless. “Andy, I’d like to help you, but I
think the only way is for you to let go of the pillow. I could pull the bottom
of the blankets up for you to hold instead.”

As if she realized she was being
unreasonable, she pushed the pillow away and lifted her hand towards him.
Easily, Jack pulled her upright, holding out the negligee. He argued for a
moment a gentleman would turn away, but he still looked. In the dim light, he
could easily see her upper body. As she pulled on the thin, multi-layered
garment, Jack enjoyed the bouncing movements of her breasts since she hurried.
Regretfully, he saw her close the robe, tying the belt to hold it closed.
Turning, he walked back to the bathroom, picking up the clothes he’d dropped
earlier.

When he exited a few minutes later, completely
dressed, he was surprised to find the bedroom empty. He wasn’t sure leaving was
a good idea. Maybe he should insist on staying to iron out some issues between
them. Considering how skittish Andy still seemed to be, despite their history,
plus what had just happened, would he find himself back at the starting point?
As he descended the stairs, he saw Andy behind the bar. The clattering and
clinking of glass against crystal forewarned her activities.

* * * * *

Part of her wished he’d leave so she could
write this off as closure and nothing else. Doing it and planning in advance to
have sex with Jack were two completely different beasts she was discovering.
She wanted to lock away her emotions—

“Look at the time!” she said, deliberately
forcing a bright tone to her voice. “You could probably still meet the others
in the casino if you want, if they’ve left the pub already.”

Moving about behind the bar, Andy busied
herself with moving glasses and looking everywhere but at Jack. Gratefully, she
found the bottle and started looking for a glass. She knew there had to be
another one like the one Henderson had served it in earlier. Aware that Jack
watched her, she suddenly became all thumbs.

“Does it matter what kind of glass?” she
asked, breathlessly a few seconds after she knocked over a second glass.

“Forget the drink, Andy.”

Setting down the bottle, she came from
behind the bar. Since Jack had not yet taken a seat, she figured she could sit
on the sofa. But he surprised her by grabbing her wrist and stopping her.
Looking over her shoulder, she was intently aware of how attractive Jack was.
If only circumstances could be different. Quickly, she spoke, her nerves
becoming more intense with each passing moment. “The casino is on deck two.”

“Yeah, I remember. Why are you in such an
all-fired hurry to get rid of me?”

“I’m not in a hurry…I did offer you a
drink,” she reminded him, lifting her chin.

“True,” Jack told her as he pulled on her
wrist, turning her to face him. His hands lifted to catch her upper arms. “But
usually when two people almost make love then some conversation is called for.
I think we should talk about this tonight.”

“Uhm, normally I would defer to your
greater experience with situations like this. But I figured you’d want to get
back with
your
friends and have a good time.” It wasn’t easy, but Andy
kept the tears from breaking forth and choking her words. She was torn, but
still felt obligated to point out the barriers between them.

“They are
our
friends, damn it! I
don’t want to argue over this, Andy.” He released her arms. “I wanted us to
talk, sweetheart. I really didn’t plan on any of this happening.”

Andy wasn’t sure if he was saying sleeping
with her…not that there’d been any sleeping involved as of yet, but the fact he
considered sleeping with her the furthest thing from his mind when they started
could mean something. Was he thinking this had been a mistake? Undoubtedly, he
regretted his impetuous behavior.

“You don’t need to apologize, Jack.”

“Apologize! Of course, I’m not going to say
I’m sorry. I have no reason to apologize. Maybe it’s you who feels a need to do
so,” he shot back.

Andy felt her chin drop in surprise. “What?
Do you regret what happened?”

“I didn’t say that, Andy. Look, all I
wanted to do was get the chance to talk with you in private. But having you
prance up those stairs, wiggling your cute ass and then showing me your bed, I
made the natural assumption you wanted to have sex.”

Andy was hurt and angry. Pushing away the
pain, she let the anger bubble up. The heartache she’d deal with later. “If I
wanted to have sex, I would say so. I was merely being friendly, considering
the way you’d glommed onto me from the moment you saw me.”

A second later, she saw the fire blaze up
in Jack’s eyes. The stiffening of his body followed the glare darkening his
face. She bit her lower lip and knew she shouldn’t have used the word
“glommed”. It sounded as if he was something nasty she’d discovered on her
shoe. He turned away and stomped several steps towards the door. She saw his
shoulders lift and fall and she guessed he took some deep breaths. Reluctantly,
she acknowledged she should have taken a few seconds to calm herself before
she’d answered.

It had not been an accurate description. He
had been polite and attentive from the first moment. Not once had he done
anything she had not wanted…even longed for, so why had she accused him? Her
heart told her to speak up and tell him what she desired…him.

Jack turned and nodded his head once. “I’ll
go for now, Andy. We can talk at breakfast.” He walked to the double doors.
Opening one side, he stopped in the doorway. “Don’t forget to lock up, even
though you’re in the high-rent district. I’ll stand out here until I hear the
bolt click.”

Andy stared at the closed doors. Feeling as
if she carried the world on her shoulders, she crossed to the entryway. For a
moment, she leaned against the heavy doors, pressing her cheek to cool wood.
Nothing was going as she’d fantasized and hoped for in her daydreams. Lifting
her hand, she slowly turned the latch for the deadbolt. She listened closely,
knowing she couldn’t really hear Jack walking away. Only silence both inside
and out.

Then she remembered the peephole. Quickly,
she rose on tiptoe, looking through the tiny magnifying glass. She could see
Jack had reached the elevators and was pressing the button. If only this was
one of her books, she could be the heroine who threw open the double doors and
ran down the hall, crying out her lover’s name. He’d turn, see her and open his
arms. Pressing against him, their lips would meet to kiss passionately. And
when their lips finally parted, driven only by the desperate need to breathe,
he’d tell her, “I love you.” Then he would make the grand gesture and sweep her
into his arms, carrying her back to bed for a night of wild and erotic
lovemaking.

Andy straightened and moved away from the
door. A half smile curving her lips, she lifted her hand to brush back her
hair. She was surprised to feel the tears on her cheeks. Using both hands, she
rubbed away the tears. For some time, she wandered about the first level of the
suite, picking up little knickknacks, checking them out. Three different times,
she walked out onto the deck before trudging back inside. Suddenly, she decided
she needed something she’d not had in a very, very long time. Looking around,
she saw the panel on the wall to ring for Henderson. It didn’t seem fair to
drag him out this late so she went to the phone and found the number for room
service.

She knew it was not a wise choice, but old
habits die hard. In times of stress, she usually started writing. Only this
time…maybe it was being in a strange place, or facing old friends—she wasn’t
sure why her usual methods weren’t working. Of course, she could have puttered
about, tried writing or even sleeping to stop the desire. But she knew just as
surely as she recognized her face when she saw it reflected in the reflective
glass behind the bar, nothing else would work tonight. A few minutes later, she
hung up the phone and settled back on the sofa to wait.

* * * * *

Jack opened the door to his side of the
double cabin. According to the travel agent, it was really a “deluxe balcony”
not a cabin. And there certainly was a lot more glass to look out of than just
a porthole. Stepping into the room, he realized he wasn’t alone. At the far end
of the room, sitting on the small sofa, Ray watched television. From the look
on his friend’s face, Jack figured his friend’s evening hadn’t gone as he’d
hoped either. “Hey, Ray. I thought you’d be across the hallway, sharing that half-empty
cabin with Gayle.”

Ray glared at Jack, took another sip of
beer, and then turned back to the screen. “So did I.”

“You fought?” Jack tossed his suit jacket
on the nearest twin bed. As Ray nodded, Jack asked him another question. “Got
any more of those?”

Ray lifted the hand holding the beer and
pointed to the refrigerator on the other side of the television stand. Jack
pulled out one and twisted off the cap. Taking two long swigs, he sat beside
Ray because other than the desk chair, there wasn’t any place left to sit.
Immediately he compared the room to Andy’s suite. God! They were as different
as night and day.

“Everything seemed great at dinner. What
did you guys fight about?” Jack asked after a few more swallows of cold lager.

“You and Andy, and before you say anything
else, damn it all, it was my fault. I was being Mr. Sensitive and listening to
Gayle prattle on and on about Andy this and so on…well, I screwed up. I brought
up the night in your room as a sign of your concern for her baby pigeon.”

“So? You said she was fine with it once you
explained everything,” Jack shook his head and took another deep swallow of the
cold beer. This evening just wasn’t going the way he’d planned in the least.

“Well, thinking it would help, I told her
something else…and she, uhm, didn’t follow my logic.”

“What did you tell her, Ray?”

“Remember how we used to joke about our
nicknames? I was
doc
and Mark was the
professor
.”

“Sure. Danny was
bean-counter
and
Tony called himself
playboy
.” Jack chuckled softly. “He didn’t like the
name we gave him.”

“Maybe, but more likely Tony didn’t like it
was you we called playboy.”

Jack shook his head. “You never called me
that.”

“We did.” Ray shrugged. “We knew you
wouldn’t like it so we would call you J.D.”

“Just when I was around, otherwise it was
playboy? Great!” Jack leaned his head back against the wall behind the small
sofa. “So finish the story.”

“All right. I finally told Gayle to quit
worrying because playboy would never hurt anyone deliberately, let alone—”

Ray’s voice trailed away so Jack turned to
look at his friend. The truth was written on doc’s face.

“You didn’t Ray, did you? Remember I made
you all swear to never use that term again after spring break. You promised me,
Ray, as my best friend since grade school.”

Ray stood and walked to the far end of the
stateroom, standing in front of the entrance. “I’m sorry, damn it! It slipped
out. I had too damned much champagne. God, I don’t know. So, now I’m cast out
and I’ll probably end up sharing the queen-size bed with Danny.”

Jack watched as his friend turned and
lightly banged his head against the wall. Damn! Nothing about the first night
aboard this so-called pleasure cruise of their lifetime was going very well.
Standing, he went to the refrigerator again and pulled out two beers. He held
one out to Ray as he walked towards him. The room was small enough for Ray to
reach out and grab it as Jack sat on the edge of the first twin bed. He watched
as his friend twisted off the cap and took a sip. Shaking his head, he dropped
back to lie on the bed.

“Why are we drinking alone in this tiny
room?” Ray asked a few seconds later.

Jack lifted his head to look at his friend.
Had he gone crazy? Early “old-timers”? “Because you opened your big mouth to
Gayle. Did you at least get her to promise she wouldn’t tell the others?”

“She laughed in my face and gave me the
speech about how she thought she
knew
me, but now that I’ve kept a
secret from her for all these years…yada yada yada.” Ray stood and began
walking the short distance between the door and balcony. He paced a few times
as he continued speaking. “That’s when I left. Why are you here? How come you
aren’t down winning another fortune in the casino or looking for a sweet
companion in the bar?”

Jack opened his mouth to reply when a tapping
at the door stopped him.

Ray turned and opened the door.