Volpone and Other Plays (46 page)

BOOK: Volpone and Other Plays
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That the whole company of the Separation

May join in humble prayer again.

SUBTLE
:                                                  And fasting.

ANANIAS
: Yea, for some fitter place. The peace of mind

Rest with these walls!

SUBTLE
:                              Thanks, courteous Ananias.

      [
Exit
ANANIAS
.]

FACE
: What did he come for?

SUBTLE
:                                   About casting dollars,

90         Presently, out of hand. And so I told him,

              A Spanish minister came here to spy

Against the faithful –

FACE
:                                 I conceive. Come, Subtle,

Thou art so down upon the least disaster!

How wouldst thou ha' done, if I had not helped thee out?

SUBTLE
: I thank thee, Face, for the angry boy, i' faith.

FACE
: Who would ha'
looked
it should ha' been that rascal

Surly? He had dyed his beard and all. Well, sir,

Here's damask come to make you a suit.

SUBTLE
:                                                              Where's Drugger?

FACE
: He is gone to borrow me a Spanish habit;

I'll be the Count now.

SUBTLE
:                          But where's the widow?

FACE
: Within, with my Lord's sister; Madam Dol 100

Is entertaining her.

SUBTLE
:                        By your favour, Face,

Now she is honest, I will stand again.

FACE
: You will not offer it!

SUBTLE
:                                 Why?

FACE
:                                              Stand to your word,

Or – here comes Dol! – she knows –

SUBTLE
:                                                         Y' are tyrannous still.

[
Enter
DOL
hurriedly
.]

FACE
: – Strict for my right. – How now, Dol! Hast told her

The Spanish Count will come?

DOL COMMON
:                                     Yes, but another is come,

You little looked for!

FACE
:                               Who's that?

DOL COMMON
:                                    Your master,

The master of the house.

SUBTLE
:                                   How, Dol!

FACE
:                                                        She lies,

110      This is some trick. Come, leave your
quiblins
, Dorothy.

DOL COMMON
:             Look out and see.

     [
FACE
goes to the window
.]

SUBTLE
:                                                Art thou in earnest?

DOL COMMON
:                                                                             'Slight,

Forty o' the neighbours are about him, talking.

FACE
: 'Tis he, by this good day.

DOL COMMON
:                               'Twill prove ill day

For some on us.

FACE
:                      We are undone, and taken.

DOL COMMON
:             Lost, I' m afraid.

SUBTLE
:                                                     You said he would not come,

While there Died one a week within the
liberties
.

FACE
: No: 'twas within the walls.

SUBTLE
:                                             Was't so? Cry you mercy.

I thought the liberties. What shall we do now, Face?

FACE
: Be silent: not a word, if he call or knock.

120      I'll into mine old shape again and meet him,

Of Jeremy, the butler. I' the meantime,

Do you two pack up all the goods and
purchase

That we can carry i' the two trunks. I'll keep him

Off for today, if I cannot longer, and then

At night, I'll ship you both away to Ratcliff,

Where we will meet tomorrow, and there we'll share.

Let Mammon's brass and pewter keep the cellar;

We'll have another time for that. But, Dol,

' Pray thee go heat a little water quickly;

130       Subtle must shave me. All my Captain's beard

Must off, to make me appear smooth Jeremy.

You'll do't?

SUBTLE
:           Yes, I'll shave you as well as I can.

FACE
: And not cut my throat, but trim me?

SUBTLE
:                                                                  You shall see, sir.

     [
Exeunt
.]

ACT FIVE
v,i           [
SCENE ONE
]

[
Outside Lovewit's house
.]

     [
Enter
LOVEWIT
with a Crowd
of
NEIGHBOURS
.]

[
LOVEWIT
:] Has there been such
resort
, say you?

1 ST NEIGHBOUR
:                                                             Daily, sir.

2 ND NEIGHBOUR
: And nightly, too.

3 RD NEIGHBOUR
:                             Ay, some as brave as lords.

4 TH NEIGHBOUR
: Ladies and gentlewomen.

5 TH NEIGHBOUR
:                                                 Citizens' wives.

1 ST NEIGHBOUR
: And knights.

6 TH NEIGHBOUR
:                      In coaches.

2 ND NEIGHBOUR
:                                        Yes, and oyster-

     women.

1 ST NEIGHBOUR
: Beside other gallants.

3 RD NEIGHBOUR
:                                        Sailors' wives.

4 TH NEIGHBOUR
:                                                               Tobacco-

      men.

5 TH NEIGHBOUR
: Another Pimlico!

LOVEWIT
:                                              What should my
knave
advance,

To draw this company? He hung out no banners

Of a strange calf with five legs to be seen,

Or a huge lobster with six claws?

6 TH NEIGHBOUR
:                                  No, sir.

3 RD NEIGHBOUR
: We had gone in then, sir.

10      
LOVEWIT
:                                                             He has no gift

Of
teaching
i' the nose that e' er I knew of.

You saw no
bills
set up that promised cure

Of agues or the tooth-ache?

2 ND NEIGHBOUR
:                     No such thing, sir!

LOVEWIT
: Nor heard a drum struck for baboons or puppets?

5 TH NEIGHBOUR
: Neither, sir.

LOVEWIT
:                                    What device should he bring forth now?

I love a teeming wit as I love my nourishment.

' Pray God he ha' not kept such open house,

That he hath sold my poem0s, and my bedding!

I left him nothing else. If he have eat 'em,

20        A plague o' the moth, say I! Sure he has got

Some bawdy pictures to call all this
ging:

The Friar and the Nun, or the new
motion

Of the knight's courser covering the parson's mare;

The boy of six year old, with the great thing;

Or 't may be, he has the
fleas
that run at tilt

Upon a table, or some dog to dance.

When saw you him?

1 ST NEIGHBOUR
:           Who, sir, Jeremy?

2 ND NEIGHBOUR
:                                          Jeremy butler?

We saw him not this month.

LOVEWIT
:                                      How!

4 TH NEIGHBOUR
:                                   Not these five weeks, sir.

1 ST NEIGHBOUR
: These six weeks, at the least.

LOVEWIT
:                                                                    You amaze me neighbours!

30    
5 TH NEIGHBOUR
: Sure, if your worship know not where he is,

He's slipped away.

6 TH NEIGHBOUR
: Pray God he be not made away.

LOVEWIT
: Ha! It's no time to question, then.

He knocks
.

6 TH NEIGHBOUR
:                                                       About

Some three weeks since I heard a doleful cry,

As I sat up a-mending my wife's stockings.

LOVEWIT
: This's strange that none will answer! Did'st thou hear

A cry, sayst thou?

6 TH NEIGHBOUR
: Yes, sir, like unto a man

That had been strangled an hour, and could not speak.

2 ND NEIGHBOUR
: I heard it, too, just this day three weeks, at two

     o' clock

Next morning.

LOVEWIT
: These be miracles, or you make 'em so!

40         A man an hour strangled, and could not speak,

And both you heard him cry?

3 RD NEIGHBOUR
:                            Yes, downward, sir.

LOVEWIT
: Thou art a wise fellow. Give me thy hand, I pray thee.

What trade art thou on?

3 RD NEIGHBOUR
:                 A smith, an't please your worship.

LOVEWIT
: A smith! Then lend me thy help to get this door open.

3 RD NEIGHBOUR
: That I will presently, sir, but fetch my tools –

     [
Exit
.]

1 ST NEIGHBOUR
: Sir, best to knock again afore you break it.

V,ii   [
LOVEWIT
(
knocks again
):] I will.

     [
Enter
FACE
in his butler's livery
.]

FACE
:                                                             What mean you, sir?

1 ST, 2 ND, 4 TH NEIGHBOURS
:                                                O, here's

Jeremy!

FACE
: Good sir, come from the door.

LOVEWIT
:                                                   Why, what's the matter?

FACE
: Yet farther, you are too near yet.

LOVEWIT
:                                                        I' the name of wonder,

What means the fellow!

FACE
:                                     The house, sir, has been visited.

LOVEWIT
: What, with the plague? Stand thou then farther.

FACE
:                                                                                                  No, sir,

I had it not.

LOVEWIT
:        Who had it then? I left

None else but thee i' the house.

FACE
:                                                     Yes, sir, my fellow,

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