Read Volpone and Other Plays Online
Authors: Ben Jonson
MAMMON
: What shall I do?
DOL COMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â For, as he says, except
We call the rabbins, and the heathen Greeks â
MAMMON
: Dear lady â
DOL COMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â To come from Salem, and from Athens,
And teach the people of Great Britain â
    [
Enter
FACE
,
in his servant's costume
.]
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â What's the matter, sir?
DOL COMMON
: To speak the
tongue
of Eber and Javan â
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â O,
She's in her fit.
DOL COMMON
: We shall know nothing â
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Death, sir,
We are undone!
DOL COMMON
:   Where then a learnèd linguist
Shall see the ancient used communion
20Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Of vowels and consonants â
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My master will hear!
DOL COMMON
: A wisdom, which Pythagoras held most high â
MAMMON
: Sweet honourable lady!
DOL COMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â To comprise
All sounds of voices, in few marks of letters.
FACE
: Nay, you must never hope to lay her now.
They speak together
.
DOL | FACE |
And profane Greek, to raise the building up | MAMMON |
Of Helen's house against the Ishmaelite, | With the Philosopher's Stone, by chance, and she |
King of Togarmah, and his habergeons | Falls on the other four straight. |
Brimstony, blue, and fiery; and the force | FACE |
Of king Abaddon, and the beast of Cittim, | MAMMON |
Which Rabbi David Kimchi, Onkelos, | 30Â Â |
And Aben Ezra do interpret Rome. | SUBTLE |
FACE |
[ | Upon |
MAMMON | |
SUBTLE'S |
Close
deeds of darkness, and that shun the light!
Bring him again. Who is he? What, my son!
O, I have lived too long.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Nay, good, dear father,
There was no unchaste purpose.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Not? and flee me
When I come in?
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â That was my error.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Error?
Guilt, guilt, my son; give it the right name. No marvel
40Â Â Â Â Â Â Â If I found check in our great work within,
When such affairs as these were managing!
MAMMON
: Why, have you so?
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â It has stood still this half-hour,
And all the rest of our less works gone back.
Where is the instrument of wickedness
My lewd false drudge?
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Nay, good sir, blame not him;
Believe me, 'twas against his will or knowledge.
I saw her by chance.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Will you commit more sin,
T'excuse a varlet?
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â By my hope, 'tis true, sir.
SUBTLE
: Nay, then I wonder less, if you, for whom
50Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â The blessing was prepared, would so tempt Heaven,
And lose your fortunes.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Why, sir?
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â This'll retard
The work a month at least.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Why, if it do,
What remedy? But think it not, good father;
Our purposes were
honest
.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â As they were,
So the reward will prove.
   Â
A great crack and noise within
.
                                                                 How now! ay me!
God and all saints be good to us. â
    [
Re-enter
FACE
.]
                                                                 What's that?
FACE
: O, sir, we are defeated! All the works
Are flown
in fumo
, every glass is burst!
Furnace and all rent down, as if a bolt
60Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Of thunder had been driven through the house.
Retorts, receivers, pelicans, bolt-heads,
All struck in shivers!
    SUBTLE
falls down, as in a swoon
.
                                             Help, good sir! alas,
Coldness and death invades him. Nay, Sir Mammon,
Do the fair offices of a man! You stand,
As you were readier to depart than he.
     Â
One knocks
.
Who's there? My Lord her brother is come.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Ha, Lungs!
FACE
: His coach is at the door. Avoid his sight,
For he's as furious as his sister is mad.
MAMMON
: Alas!
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My brain is quite undone with the fume, sir,
I ne'er must hope to be mine own man again.
MAMMON
: Is all lost, Lungs? Will nothing be preserved
Of all our cost?
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Faith, very little, sir;
A peck of coals or so, which is cold comfort, sir.
MAMMON
: O, my voluptuous mind! I am justly punished.
FACE
: And so am I, sir.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Cast from all my hopes â
FACE
: Nay, certainties, sir.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â By mine own base affections.
     Â
SUBTLE
seems [to] come to himself
.
SUBTLE
: O, the curst fruits of vice and lust!
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Good father,
It was my sin. Forgive it.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Hangs my roof
Over us still, and will not fall, O Justice,
Upon us, for this wicked man!
80Â Â Â Â Â
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Nay, look, sir,
You grieve him now with staying in his sight.
Good sir, the nobleman will come too, and take you,
And that may breed a tragedy.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I'll go.
FACE
: Ay, and repent at home, sir. it may be,
For some good penance you may ha' it yet;
A hundred pound to the box at Bedlam â
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Yes.
FACE
: For the restoring such as ha' their wits.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I'll do't.
FACE
: I'll send one to you to receive it.
MAMMON
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Do.
Is no projection left?
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â All flown, or stinks, sir.
90Â Â Â Â
MAMMON
: Will nought be saved that's good for med' cine, think'st thou?
FACE
: I cannot tell, sir. There will be perhaps
Something about the scraping of the shards,
Will cure the itch, â though not your itch of mind, sir.
It shall be saved for you, and sent home. Good sir,
This way, for fear the lord should meet you.
      [
Exit
MAMMON
.]
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Face!
FACE
: Ay.
SUBTLE
: Is he gone?
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Yes, and as heavily As all the gold he hoped for were in his blood. Let us be light though.
SUBTLE
[
leaping up
]:Â Â Â Â Â Ay, as balls, and bound
100Â Â Â Â Â Â And hit our heads against the roof for joy:
There's so much of our care now cast away.
FACE
: Now to our Don.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Yes, your young widow by this time
Is made a countess, Face; she's been in travail
Of a young heir for you.
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Good, sir.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Off with your
case
,
And greet her kindly, as a bridegroom should,
After these common hazards.
FACE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Very well, sir.
Will you go fetch Don Diego off the while?
SUBTLE
: And fetch him over too, if you'll be pleased, sir.
Would Dol were in her place, to pick his pockets now!
FACE
: Why, you can do it as well, if you would set to't.
110Â Â Â I pray you prove your
virtue
.
SUBTLE
:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â For your sake, sir.
      [
Exeunt
.]
[
The garden of Lovewit's house
.]
[
Enter
SURLY
,
in his Spanish costume, and
DAME PLIANT
.]
[SURLY:]
Lady, you see into what hands you are fall' n;
âMongst what a nest of villains! and how near
Your honour was t' have catched a certain
clap
,
Through your credulity, had I but been
So punctually forward, as place, time,
And other circumstance would ha' made a man;
For y' are a handsome woman: would you were wise, too!
I am a gentleman come here disguised,
Only to find the knaveries of this citadel;
10Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â And where I might have wronged your honour, and have not,
I claim some interest in your love. You are, They say, a widow, rich; and I' m a bachelor
Worth nought. Your fortunes may make me a man,