Virtue & Vanity (33 page)

She nodded, thanked me in an enthusiastic voice and left the room, turning around one more time to express her gratitude before she closed the door. I was left with my confusing thoughts, wondering why I had asked her to return the books before Sebastian’s return. Deep down, maybe there was a part of me that still feared the darkness that could emerge from the corners that were well hidden in plain sight. I walked towards the window and observed the cold autumn night, realizing that nature, just like life, was nothing else but a constant exchange of the dark and the light.

Then my gaze darted towards the red roses and the sight of his beautiful gift made me smile again, chasing away the thoughts of confusion.

After running a warm bath and taking a long time to relax from all the commotion that was going on in my mind, I finally put on my pajamas and decided to go to bed. I turned off the lights and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the crazy things he’d been doing for me. The once scary flashbacks that had made me shiver with fear, were now completely gone and I was struck with an odd realization. Somehow, Sebastian had managed to replace each and every hurtful memory with a happy one, and all that remained of that painful period were seldom doubts that were slowly fading from my mind. I patted the covers in frustration, thinking that Sebastian had gotten his wish, since I couldn’t go to sleep because he made me think about him. Closing my eyes tight, I tried to fall asleep, but to no avail, because I was interrupted by the loud ringing of the phone which would probably manage to wake the dead. I sat upright, turned on the lamp on the nightstand and answered the phone without even checking the number. Suddenly, I was afraid that something might have happened to someone in Rosemont because nobody ever called me this late.

“H-Hello,” I greeted the person on the line.

“Hello.” A familiar whisper sounded in my ears and I melted, without even realizing how much I’d missed to hear it. When I didn’t say anything, a loud chuckle contrasted by the soft voice, broke through the phone. “Don’t worry, I don’t have magical powers to get to you over the phone, even though that’s exactly what I’d like to do,” Sebastian teased.

I didn’t know what to say. Taken aback by the fact that he had called me, I gasped into the phone, trying to control my nervous breathing and the fast beating of my heart.

“Did I wake you up?” he asked in a tender voice and I shook my head, smiling even though he couldn’t see me.

“No, you didn’t wake me up. As a matter of fact, I think a have a bad case of insomnia,” I said through slight laughter.

“How so?” He breathed into the phone and I swallowed.

“Someone decided to surprise me today and I really liked the surprise. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

I blushed at my bluntness, and once again I felt grateful that Sebastian couldn’t witness the embarrassment on my face.

I could envision his smile. “You’re blushing, aren’t you?” he teased. I froze and looked around the room, wondering if there were cameras around.

“Are you spying on me?” I asked in a half-serious voice and he started laughing.

“No, I’m not spying on you.” There was a sudden break. “I just know you better than you think, angel.”

The blush on my face turned deeper and I sensed he knew that too, and for some reason I was unable to speak again.

“So, you like the roses?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“I love them,” I breathed and looked towards the vase on the vanity. “They’re beautiful.”

“I’m glad,” he whispered in a light voice.

The memory of his warm expression danced before my eyes. “You’re smiling, aren’t you?” I asked quietly and I heard his muffled laughter.

“Why, I think you are spying on me, Mrs. Everett,” he whispered and a warm shiver streamed through my body when he addressed me as his wife. It was as if he said: ‘
You belong with me. You’re mine.’

“No, I wouldn’t dare to spy on you, Mr. Everett.” I returned the favor, suddenly thinking that the fact that Sebastian was my husband didn’t seem like such a bad thing at all lately. “I just know you better than you think,” I muttered with confidence.

For a while, we remained silent, but there wasn’t anything uncomfortable about it. I focused on the sound of his breathing and it was enough for me to relax and almost drift away to sleep.

“Isabelle...” I heard him whisper to me, but I was already in a daze, entering a rare, beautiful dream. “Are you awake?” His voice was a bit louder this time and I fought to tell him I wasn’t asleep, but all I could do was produce a soft moan that sounded through the phone. He sighed and as the world around me slowly faded away I could hear a tender voice that made me feel like I had butterflies dancing in my stomach. “Sleep tight, love,” he murmured and took a deep breath. “I miss you,” he said softly and hung up the phone with obvious reluctance.

Even though I knew he couldn’t hear me, the words at the tip of my tongue were spoken of their own accord, before sleep finally claimed me.
“I miss you, too.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Cooking could be a lot of fun. More fun than I had ever imagined. I’d never actually prepared a decent meal in my entire life, but that day Norma was sick and Anne had taken the day off, so I decided to help Annette in the kitchen to keep my mind off how lonely I felt without Sebastian. Like myself, she wasn’t an expert with the oven, but with the little help of the Internet, we found a simple recipe for cupcakes and decided to try our luck. To lighten up the atmosphere and ease the pressure, we listened to music and goofed around while mixing the ingredients. It turned out to be a lot easier than I thought and in no time we were filling the little cups with the delicious looking pastry. I was wearing a simple white dress from the pile Sebastian had asked Helen to buy me and it felt so liberating to wear the things I liked again. With extreme caution, I was doing the finishing touches with the pastry and Annette teased me for not wanting to make my dress dirty.

“And here we were, thinking we couldn’t even bake an egg. These puppies look amazing,” Annette joked and I loved how this situation made her relax.

I laughed. “They sure do. But don’t get your hopes up. They still need to be baked. That’s the hard part.”

With caution, I placed the pan in the oven and smiled at Annette. She beamed at me and as I took the dirty bowl and started washing it by hand instead of putting it in the dishwasher, she couldn’t hide her surprise.

“Maybe I can’t find my way around the oven, but doing the dishes is something I excel at.” I winked at her.

“You know, I can’t believe that someone like you could be so simple and fun to be around,” she said with a ring of amazement in her voice.

“The feeling is entirely mutual. I think you’re really fun to be around too. The girl before you gave me a lot of trouble.” I bit my lip, reprimanding myself for starting the dangerous subject.

“You mean Teresa?” My mouth fell opened when I realized that Annette already knew who I was talking about. “I heard she was crazy about Sebastian and that she wanted him for herself.” Her voice was serious, but then it turned a few shades lighter again. “No offense, but I can’t blame her. The man is drop dead gorgeous. You are one lucky woman, Isabelle.”

Struck by her words, I just smiled in response, hiding my true emotions, but then she chuckled and said something that sent me over the edge. “I bet he’s great in bed too.”

The bowl dropped from my hands and onto the floor. My hands shook as I bent down to pick it up and Annette looked at me with a mixture of worry and disbelief.

“Are you alright?” She was on the verge of panicking and I took a deep breath to calm both myself and her down.

“I’m fine.” I forced a smile, but I knew she could tell it was fake.

“I’m so sorry, Isabelle. I had no right to say that.” She looked at me worriedly. “Please, just forget I said anything.”

But I couldn’t forget. I knew she only tried to have a normal girly talk, but her words had caused a storm of emotions I wasn’t ready to deal with. With growing pain in my heart, I analyzed the effect that one sentence had on me and consequently, I compared myself to the girl standing in front of me. I was bruised and damaged. She wasn’t. I had a lot of trouble speaking my mind and building up my self-confidence. She didn’t. As a matter of fact, the more time I’d spent around her, the more I realized she was bursting with faith in herself and her dreams. I couldn’t even think about intimacy, even though Sebastian tried so hard to make me forget. Without a doubt, Annette didn’t have any issues with trust when it came to relationships. Besides, this was the second time she tried to get me to talk about my marriage and I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something wasn’t right.

Suddenly, I looked at her as someone who was dangerously close to Sebastian, and I wondered if it was only a matter of time before he gave up on me and craved someone who wasn’t damaged—someone who was normal. Staring at her with disbelief, I slowly realized that what I felt couldn’t be described as anything else but jealousy. The discovery shocked me.

“Isabelle, please say something.” Annette’s pleading voice made me snap out of my gloomy thoughts. I wanted to ease her discomfort and tried to diminish the feelings of doubt that swept over me.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I smiled, trying to block the threatening thoughts in the back of my mind. “I just have a lot on my mind. I’m sorry I reacted that harshly.”

A smile twisted her lips. “Isabelle, I know I crossed the line with my joke, but I would never betray your trust. I’m not like Teresa. Please believe me.” She sounded sincere and her face seemed to radiate honesty. I felt guilty for making her feel that bad just because she wanted to have some innocent fun.

“Annette...”

“Something smells delicious.” Sebastian’s deep voice sounded through the room and both Annette and I turned towards him, startled by his presence.

“T-thank you for helping me in the kitchen, madam. I have to go do the other c-chores now.” Annette’s uneasiness around Sebastian was obvious when she blushed and nervously fled the room, leaving me alone with him.

He exhaled and chuckled for a brief moment. Annette’s behavior entertained him. His face turned slightly serious and he directed his gaze at me. I gulped, because I knew that my behavior with Annette was against his high standards and despite his lovely gestures, even I felt uneasy around him at the moment, wondering if I had crossed the line.

“I thought you were in Paris,” I said in a small voice.

He shrugged. “I closed the deal and decided to come back earlier.” His eyes darted towards the mess on the table and the sink filled with dishes that still needed to be done.

“Norma wasn’t feeling well,” I tried to justify why I was in the kitchen before he got a chance to scowl at me first.

“I know.”

“And...” I paused, uncertain of what I should say.

“And?” He encouraged me in a light voice, but his face still didn’t give out if he was upset.

“I just... I thought I could help Annette in the kitchen.”

For a few short moments he remained silent as if something bothered him. My mind raced when he looked at me with an apparent intention to speak.

“I didn’t know you like to cook.” He finally smiled, taunting me with the same sentence I threw his way not that long ago and it brought some peace to my mind. “It’s very nice of you to help, but I think Antoinette can find her way around the kitchen.”

He used her real name and it puzzled me. It meant that he still didn’t like her. I knew that it shouldn’t have, but for some reason, the revelation made me feel at ease. However, the thought that he might have overheard fractions of our conversation made my face redden with shame.

He took in my appearance as he approached me and I was suddenly very aware of the simple dress I was wearing.. I hugged my middle, trying to hide from the piercing glare in his eyes. I’d never worn anything so revealing in his presence and the thought that he might get the wrong idea made me nervous. The almost-teasing smile wouldn’t leave his face and I knew that I was being ridiculous since he had paid for the dress, but I couldn’t help it. His eyes paused on my shoulder and I realized that one of the straps had slid down when I had reached for the bowl on the floor. Slowly, he directed his green gaze straight to my eyes and looked at me tenderly as his fingers brushed against my naked shoulder and pulled the strap back in place. Even when he moved his hand away, the feeling of his soft touch still danced on my skin and sent tingles all the way down, way below the surface, causing the sense of some undefined serenity that made me hunger for more of his tenderness. As I gaped at him in wonder, the smell of something burning filled my nostrils and I gasped when Sebastian hurried towards the oven.
Cupcakes!
I’d forgotten to set the timer. A small cloud of smoke escaped when he opened the door and as I stood there, angry at myself for being so stupid, Sebastian was laughing his head off.

“Unless they were made of dark chocolate, I don’t think there’s much hope for these muffins.” He barely managed to say through his laughter.

His light mood was so soothing and contagious, that I couldn’t help but relax and laugh as well.

“It’s not funny,” I protested.

“You’re right. It’s not funny.” He became slightly serious. “It’s hilarious.” He started laughing again full force while I shook my head at him. “I can’t wait to see the look on Norma’s face. I think she won’t be taking a day off in a while.”

“You’re wrong,” I said in a teasing voice. “They would have been delicious.”

His laughter subsided and he looked at me with the glowing light in his eyes. “I’m sure they would have been the best cupcakes I ever had.” I gazed at him with apparent surprise, but he ignored my suspicious stare and made an interesting suggestion. “Let’s go out to dinner tonight.”

The idea of spending the evening in some fancy, à la carte restaurant was more than appalling, but Sebastian had done so many nice things for me and I felt like I owed him, so I decided to accept his invitation.

“Sure.” I smiled, pretending that I liked the idea. “Just give me some time to change.”

I already headed towards the door, but he stopped me by softly taking hold of my elbow and almost pulling me into an embrace. The smell of his cologne grazed my senses and a shiver passed through me when I became aware of how painfully close we were.

“No,” his whisper carried the mint breeze I still remembered. “You don’t need to change.”

He smiled while I looked at him in confusion, thinking that he must have lost his mind.

“But... But this dress...”

“Is lovely,” he interrupted me.

“And... And my hair...” I touched the bundle of mess on my head.

“Is perfect,” he whispered and gently settled one loose strand of hair that hung above my face to the side.

“Sebastian...” I pleaded.

He tilted up my chin, speaking softly to me. “You’re perfect, Isabelle. I don’t want you to change the dress. I don’t want you to fix up your beautiful hair. I like it just the way it is.”

I realized I wasn’t going to win and persuade him into letting me wear the appropriate attire, so I gave into his expectant expression and allowed him to lead me towards the car.

***

The entire ride, I kept thinking about the embarrassment I would have to face in front of the staff and the guests of the restaurant. Sebastian wore a mysterious smirk on his face and I couldn’t help hating him a little for making me go into a place that would be filled with stuck up people, without giving me the opportunity to dress appropriately, especially when he was wearing one of his perfect, wrinkle-free suits. Even though I liked the new clothes he’d given me, I still hated drawing people’s attention in places we attended as a couple. Everybody were throwing silent, mean comments my way as it was, and the last thing I wanted was to give them another thing to judge me for and talk about.

As expected, he parked his car across from one of the exclusive restaurants whose French name I couldn’t even begin to imagine how to pronounce. Apprehension got the best of me and I sighed, fumbling with my fingers and trying to prepare myself for the mental torture of proper cutlery usage that would only be topped by the pressure of following the etiquette to the letter. I had a feeling I would make a fool out of myself. Sebastian glanced at me shortly and smiled, providing me with encouragement, but it wasn’t enough to make me relax.

“Wait here,” he muttered and got out of the car.

He walked to my door and opened it for me, offering me his hand and helping me out of the car.

“Nervous?” he asked like he knew the answer to his question. I nodded and he whispered to me, offering reassurance. “Don’t be.”

I shrugged. It was easy for him to say. Finally making peace with the fact we were going to eat at that place that looked so pretentious that it probably served snails and other nasty food I despised, I started turning towards it, but I stopped when I heard Sebastian’s chuckle behind me. I turned around, noticing he hadn’t moved away from where he stood.

“Where are you going?” he asked with a smirk.

“I... I thought you said we were going to eat out.” I gaped at him with confusion.

He smiled. “We are, but not in that place. I would hate to put you through hell of pronouncing the names of French dishes like that girl in the movie. Remember?” he said with a teasing undertone and I remembered the nice evening I had spent with him in the movies.

Thinking about it made me smile. It made me happy. “Where are we going then?” I asked in one breath.

“It’s a surprise,” he said softly and placed his hand on the small of my back and that shivering current rushed through me again.

We walked through the small park in silence, and suddenly I was facing the glowing lights of the last place I thought we’d end up at.

“Well, I hope you’re hungry because we just reached our destination.” His voice was serious, but I knew he had to have been joking.

“But this is... McDonald’s?!” I exclaimed in surprise, almost laughing at the thought of Sebastian eating at a place like that.

“I thought it was only fair to take you somewhere where I didn’t fit in for a change.” He shrugged and I looked at him with amusement.