Villainess (5 page)

“Here’s something you’ve probably been wondering, Doc. Do you know why I’m so obsessed with the whole hero thing? And why me of all people wanted to write romance novels?”

“Why?” I didn’t turn to look at him, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face.

“I always hear people talking about wanting to read about stronger romance heroines. They want the female lead character to save herself, to not have the male lead save her. That’s the thing…I love romance because of the idea that it would be nice to not have to save myself. I’ve saved myself over and over again in real life. I had no one I could really count on but myself. It would have been nice if just once—just one time—a hero would have saved me. And those are the books I wanted to write. I wanted a heroine that
could
be strong but didn’t have to be.”

A lump formed in my throat. How many times had I wished I could be one of the characters from one of the books I’d read? “I wanted to be the hero, Doc. I really did. But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t making any kind of real difference. I guess that’s the beginning… I’ll tell you about some things you won’t find anywhere online or in that little chart you have about me. I’ll tell you about how I imagined I could be some kind of vigilante hero, and failed horribly. Apparently, I’m only good at being bad.”

“Go ahead then. Tell me.” Jonah tried to hide the curiosity and eagerness in his voice, but he wasn’t fooling me. He wanted answers and I was willing to give them to him. I needed him to know the real me, even if he wasn’t ready for all of it just yet.

A year and a half earlier ~

A light rain misted the air, slowly seeping through my clothes. I shivered, wishing I’d checked the weather forecast so I’d known to wear something more suitable. The thin fabric of my t-shirt and jeans was doing nothing to protect me from the elements. I pressed my back into the tree, hoping to get a bit of shelter from the thick canopy of leaves. It did little to no good, it was hard to tell at that point. I blinked through the haze, moisture dripping off of my eyelashes as I stared at the large brick house about fifty feet away from me.

“What are you doin’ back here?” A deep male voice startled me, causing me to jump.

I instinctively whirled around, hands up and balled into fists. The small reddish-orange glow from a cigarette was the only thing I could make out in the dark. “Who the hell are you?”

The man stepped out of the shadows, revealing a tall lanky form, face hidden behind a hoodie. “Nobody important. Just a guy tryin’ to catch a smoke.”

My nostrils flared as I tried to even my breathing. The guy didn’t seem threatening, but telling my adrenaline infused system that was going to be the real issue. “Yeah, okay.” I backed up a few steps, prepared to run. One could never be too careful, after all.

“But why are you back here, standin’ in the rain?”

“Maybe I was smoking too.”

He snorted. “Nah, don’t think so. How about tellin’ me the truth.”

“Why should I? It seems to me, smoking or not, that you’re lurking around in the dark too. You keep your secrets and I’ll keep mine.”

He exhaled a long drag, smoke curling from his hoodie. The rain was letting up, but moisture still clung to everything. “That sounds pretty nefarious if you ask me.” He chuckled. “What is a pretty little thing like you doin’ out on a night like this, besides askin’ for trouble?”

I glanced at the house, nibbling my bottom lip. “Do you know the family that lives there?”

“Not personally.”

“So you don’t know about the little boy whose mom hits him?” My mind flashed to the scene of a mother hitting her young son for staining his school uniform. I hadn’t done anything at the time, but things change. I’d changed.

“I’m Theo. What’s your name?”

“I didn’t ask for introductions. I asked if you knew about the mom in that house,” I snapped.

Theo stepped closer, dropping his cigarette. He crushed it with his boot and dropped his hoodie from his head, all in one fluid motion. His dark blond hair stood in complete disarray. It was hard to tell what color his eyes were in the dim lighting. They studied me from a surprisingly handsome face—high chiseled cheekbones, square jaw. A hoop nose ring glinted at me when he tilted his head slightly, a smirk tipping up his full lips. “Want my help?”

His question took me off guard. He couldn’t possibly know what I was thinking. “What? Help for what?”

“Help doin’ what you’re about to do.”

“And how do you know—“

“Come on.” He hurried across the lawn towards the house.

I was powerless. It seemed as if I had no choice but to follow him.

Jonah

Present ~

Leila stopped talking abruptly, her breaths coming out in short little spurts. I couldn’t tell if what she was remembering had traumatized her, or something else…something much worse.

“What happened next? What happened when you went to that house with Theo?”

“I—”

Beeps erupted from the timer on my desk. I ground my teeth together, hitting the button to silence the alarm. Even though Leila’s case was top priority, I was only permitted to work with her for a few hours a day. “That’s it for now.” My chair squeaked as I stood. “We’ll pick up with Theo and the house next time.”

“Whatever,” she mumbled, uncurling from the couch. She stood there with uncertainty for a moment. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking about—and who this Theo character had been to her. Even though she hadn’t said as much, it was obvious he had played an important part in the mess she was in. But where was he now? I bit back a frustrated growl. All of my questions would have to wait until her next session.

I strode over to my office door and swung it open. “Leila is ready to be escorted back to her room,” I stated to the two orderlies who’d been standing guard.

“All right,” the tall blond one mumbled. I glanced at his nametag.
Matt.

“Thank you, Matt.” I turned to the other orderly, checking his nametag as well.
Mike. Because that’s not confusing or anything. Mike and Matt. No wonder I can’t keep them straight.
“And thank you as well, Mike.”

I watched as Matt approached Leila, his body language unsure. She, on the other hand, snapped out of whatever musings she’d been lost to the minute she saw him. Her gaze flicked up to meet his and a small smile tipped up her lips. “Yes, thank you, Matt,” she purred. “Thank you for being so accommodating all the time.”

Matt’s jaw tightened and his large hand reached out to grab Leila’s arm. “Let’s go.”

She swayed on her feet, leaning into Matt. “This session took so much out of me. I don’t think I can walk.” Her eyes glittered with mischief. “Carry me?” Matt froze and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from commenting. Leila was up to something.

“No. Just…come on.” Matt made the futile effort of trying to tug Leila along behind him. She took one step before her knees buckled. Matt swept her up in his arms.

“I told you I didn’t think I could walk.” She pressed her face into his neck and I swore I heard her suppress a giggle. I narrowed my eyes as Matt’s fingers dug into her.
Something’s not right here.

“If you’re not feeling well, Leila, then we can have the doctor come take a look at you.”

“No. I’m fine. Matt will take care of me, won’t you?” She didn’t even bother to look in my direction.

Matt grimaced. “Don’t worry, I’ll check in on her to make sure she’s okay. I’m going to take her back to her room now. If that’s all right with you?”

“Fine. Go ahead. But do make sure you check in on her later. And Leila, let them know if you don’t start feeling better soon.”

“Will do, Doc.” Leila wiggled in Matt’s arms. One of her hands wound up behind his neck to play with his hair.

Fuck
. In that moment I knew for sure. Something was going on between Leila and Matt. The thing was, there was also no mistaking that she wanted me to know about it. Leila wasn’t the type of person to act careless about such things. For that reason alone, I let it go. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that it had happened before—orderlies fucking around with patients. Usually even the suspicion would garner Matt a lot of trouble. But I was going to watch and bide my time. I refused to let Leila play me like she so clearly was with Matt.

I’d win the game with her by refusing to play.

“Problem?”

I glanced up from my laptop to see Ella hovering by my open door. “No.” I forced my voice to stay even. I was getting the distinct feeling she was looking for any excuse to pull Leila’s case from me. It was my professional opinion that all women were a little crazy when it came to jealousy of each other. Ella, despite her position, was no exception.

“Then what has you looking so…put out?”

I closed my laptop with more force than I meant to, raising my gaze to meet Ella’s. “Do you want me to smile while I’m surfing the net? Would that put your mind at ease that Leila’s case isn’t getting to me?”

“You brought up Leila, not me. Obviously she’s on your mind, not mine.”

“Can we not do this stupid dance, Ella? We both know what’s happening here. Personally, I was under the misconception that we were professionals and adults—not teenagers in high school.”

Ella pursed her lips before flicking her gaze to the floor. “You’re right. I’m sorry. She’s just…there’s something about her that seems to draw men to her.” She slumped against the doorframe, sighing heavily. “Did you know that she’s been getting fan mail? Her, a murderer…getting fan mail.” She snorted. “And don’t tell me you haven’t noticed what she looks like. That woman could have been a model.”

I ran my hand over my head, mentally making a note that I needed to shave it soon. “I have eyes, Ella. But just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them.” I wanted to remind her that we weren’t a couple. It would be a risky move though. I had to keep biding my time until the completion of Leila’s case. Then I could walk away from my current job and the barnacle that was Ella. “And let me remind you that I’m also a professional. My only interest in Leila is getting to the bottom of her psychosis.”
Lie. Why did that feel like a lie?

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Ella hung her head.

“So she’s really getting fan mail? Have you read any of it?”

She shook her head slowly. “Yeah, she really is. And I’ve opened a few. If you’re curious, you’re more than welcome to it. Some of it is just bizarre.”

“I just might.”

Ella laughed, pushing off of the door, and making her way towards me. “You’re so weird sometimes.”

I shrugged. It was the truth. “If that kind of thing didn’t interest me, getting a peek into people’s mental states and wanting to figure it all out, then I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

“You always take it a step too far.”

“Maybe.” I eyed Ella, her timid form standing in front of me. I knew what she wanted. Validation. “Shut the door, and take off your panties.”

She flushed as she hurried to obey.