Villainess (3 page)

I blinked, processing the sudden change in topic. “No. I—”

“Engaged?”

“No.”

“In any kind of serious relationship?”

“That’s really not any of your business, but I am curious as to why you’re asking.”

“I’ve heard that sometimes shrinks are more messed up than their patients. I was just wondering if that was true about you.” She began twirling a large piece of blonde hair around her index finger. “I guess I wanted to know something personal about you.”

“We’re not here to talk about me. You know that. You’re diverting as another stall tactic.”

“Maybe.” One of Leila’s slender hands snaked out towards me and I stiffened.
I shouldn’t be letting any of this happen
. Her fingers trailed down the front of my shirt slowly, my heart sped up at the contact.
What the hell am I doing?

I grabbed her hand with the intention of flinging it from me, but instead I froze, our gazes colliding. “What do you think you’re doing?” I rasped.

“I don’t know,” Leila whispered, her pink lips curling up. “Why don’t you tell me, after all, you are the doctor.”

The door abruptly flew open, the heavy wood cracking into the wall behind it. Two orderlies stalked into the room, trailed by Doctor Ruddize. Before I could so much as blink, Leila was being lifted from my desk and dragged away. She didn’t fight or make a sound, she merely glanced over her shoulder at me and winked. My gaze followed her until she was out of sight.

“What was that?” Ella ground out, her dark eyes meeting mine with something akin to disgust. “If you can’t handle her—this job, then let me know right now.”

I stood and ran my hand over my head slowly, dipping my gaze. “I can handle it, okay? I had things well under control. I would have hit the panic button if I didn’t. Besides, what were you doing, just sitting there watching the cameras?” Her noted silence was my answer. I raised my gaze to meet hers. “What? You’re jealous of her now too?” This was why I should have never dipped my pen in the company ink. Making it worse was the fact that Ella was my boss. She could take Leila’s case away from me as easily as she’d handed it over to begin with.

“Jealous? Of her? Don’t be ridiculous.”

I had to smooth things over with Ella. All of our interactions had been tense lately, and before the Leila case had presented itself, I’d been considering handing in my resignation. I probably still would walk, but only after I’d seen Leila’s case to conclusion, after all, such a high-profile job would be my calling card. It could make my career. I forced a smile onto my face. “Come here,” I commanded softly.

Ella’s long brunette hair fell into her face as she stared at the ground, contemplating whether or not she’d obey me. She liked when I took control sexually, but not when it came to work related issues. She was waging an internal battle at the moment. I stalked across the room, closing the distance between us. I grabbed the back of her neck, forcing her to look up at me. Her eyes darted over my features, heat and wariness intermingled in her expression. I let her go long enough to shut the door, locking it.

“That better?” I didn’t wait for an answer. I wound the majority of Ella’s hair around my fist and tugged her to my desk. I pushed her forward until she was bent over at the waist, her upper body pressed flat against the mahogany wood. With my other hand I lifted her skirt, tearing roughly at her panties. The small scrap of lace fluttered to the ground. I unbuckled my pants, groaning when I slid into her slick pussy. I pivoted my hips, pounding into her.

The problem was, as I took Doctor Ella Ruddize from behind on my desk, I didn’t see her olive skin and plump ass beneath me… I saw Leila’s green gaze staring up at me as I rocked into her. That fact pissed me off. I wouldn’t walk away from the case, even though I knew in that moment I should.
A half a session and she’s already starring in my fantasies. Not good.

I let go of Ella’s hair so I could grip her hips with both of my hands. She moaned loudly as I continued to take her brutally against my desk. A few seconds later she quivered around me, calling out my name as she came. I pulled my cock out and watched in silence as I spurt my release over her ass.

“Still jealous?” I asked as I cleaned myself off with Ella’s panties, discarding them when I was done, not bothering to help her with the mess I’d left on her. A dick move, I know. The thing was, I didn’t care. I still fucked Ella because I could. I didn’t care about her. I wasn’t sure if I ever did. She was smart, sexy…and boring. Ella, of all people, should know that to keep someone like me interested she would need to ensnare more than just my body. Leila had managed to do just that in under an hour. Boring would never be a word used to describe her.
But insane most likely is.
Fuck, why am I still thinking about a twisted murderer? She’s a case and nothing more.
Of course Leila intrigued me, it’s why I’d gone into psychiatry to begin with.
Pull it the fuck together, man.

Ella stood slowly, her face flushed. She tugged her skirt back down without bothering to wipe off what I’d left behind. I idly wondered if she realized what she was doing or if she was still in some kind of post orgasm sort of haze. “We need to talk about this case.”

I shook my head, smirking. “I thought we just did.”

“Don’t be a smartass, Jonah.”

“I’m not. You were jealous, and I just showed you that you didn’t have a reason to be. Nice chat.” I turned and strode for the door, pausing when I reached it. “Don’t make spying on my sessions a habit, Ella.”

“I don’t like how she was with you.”

“I need to do things my way. My way is letting things feel as natural for her as possible. You know if she’s comfortable she’ll be more willing to talk. I intend to do this all the way right. Don’t stand in my way again.” I stalked from the room, my body too tense for just having had sex.

“How far are you willing to go?” Ella called after me.

All the way
, I thought.
All the way
. Leila’s emerald gaze flashed before me again and I grimaced. I had a sinking feeling that my world was about to be turned upside down.

Leila

The beginning… Why do people always want to talk about the beginning? Wasn’t the ending more important? Everyone is born innocent, pure, untainted…and then it ends. So shouldn’t people take more of an interest in what ended it all? The murder of my best friend had been the beginning of who I’d become—but my innocence had ended long before that. I just hadn’t bothered to do anything about it. Beginnings—endings—maybe they were really all just a part of one big circle, or like the snake that eats its own tail… The beginning is the end, and the end the beginning.
Maybe I should be wondering if I’m at the beginning or the end of my story.
It was hard to tell, all things considered.

I groaned and rolled over onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow. The scent of a flowery fabric softener intermingled with mildew assaulted my nose. The small room I was forced to stay in was better than if I was in prison, but it was a cell nonetheless. Orderlies watched over me instead of guards. The wails of the truly insane filled the dark at night, making the air thick with desperation.
If I stay here much longer I’ll be just as mad as the rest of them.

“Can I have a banana? I want a banana. Can I have a banana? I want a banana. Can I have a…”

I ground my teeth together. “Give the goddamn woman a fucking banana already,” I growled. I couldn’t help myself. My next-door neighbor’s repetitive plea for a banana could be heard through the air vent that apparently linked our rooms. It was all she said when she wasn’t too drugged up to say nothing at all. I pressed my hands over my ears and prayed her meds would kick in soon. If only I was allowed the same escape. Because of the fact that my mental state was under review, drugs were out for the time being. The courts wanted my assessment to be untainted.

“Can I have a banana? I want a banana. Can I have a banana? I want a…”

I stood and pounded my fists against the wall. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut. The. Fuck. Up!” I screeched, straining my throat.

A few moments later the door to my room creaked open, light from the hallway causing me to squint. “Is there a problem?”

As my eyes adjusted, I recognized Matt, an orderly. His large silhouette loomed at the door. “Yeah, actually there is.” I hit my fist against the wall again. “I’d like to buy my wonderful neighbor a truck load of bananas, please.”

“Her meds will kick in soon.”

“And what about me? I can’t sleep.”

“Sorry, you know you’re not permitted to have any meds.”

I expelled a long breath. “Not even one tiny sleeping pill? I won’t tell if you don’t.” Matt merely grunted as a response. Irritation burned under my skin. “Fine. Whatever. If you won’t help me then what the hell are you still doing in here?”

“Why’d you do it? I mean—you don’t seem crazy.”

I didn’t have to ask what he was referring to. It wasn’t one specific incident but all of them. Why did I do any of it? People had gotten hurt, many died, but it had been for the greater good. “That’s the problem, Matty, I’m not crazy, the rest of the world is. I was just trying to make things better.”

Matt took a step towards me. “How can you make the world better by killing people?”

“Collateral damage.” I tilted my head to the side as I studied Matt, really studied him for the first time. He’d been one of the regular faces assigned to see to me, but I hadn’t paid him much attention, aside from noticing how big he was. He was actually a very attractive man. His shoulder length blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, highlighting his uber masculine jaw line. His muscular frame was bulkier than what I normally liked, but there was just some kind of raw sex appeal that he exuded.
Or maybe I’m just hard up
? It didn’t matter though. I was an opportunist, and opportunity was knocking in the form of a sexy orderly. It would only benefit me to get Matt in my corner. I wasn’t usually one for using sex as any kind of currency, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Despite me not wanting to use insanity as a defense, what I’d told Jonah was true. I didn’t want to die. If I could come up with some kind of backup plan…

“You here alone tonight, or is your partner scuttling around out there somewhere?” I asked, biting my lower lip seductively. If this was going to happen, I had to make it seem like it was more his idea than mine.

Matt cleared his throat, shifting from foot to foot. “It’s just me on this floor for the next few hours. Most patients will be out for the night once the meds kick in.”

“Mmmm… So… What do you do to pass the time when it’s just you?” I shifted back onto my bed so my elbows were supporting me. It allowed me to thrust my chest up without being too obvious about it.

He shrugged, his eyes blatantly sliding over me with interest. “Read, listen to a pod cast, make my rounds.”

“Read? Did you know I’m an aspiring author? What kind of stuff do you read?”

“Nonfiction usually.”

I sighed demonstratively. “Nonfiction. Ugh. I write romance.”

Matt took another step towards me. “Romance?” He chuckled. “That doesn’t sound so hard. Why were you just aspiring?”

My eye twitched, but I forced my expression to stay pleasant.
Why does everyone give romance such a bad wrap? As if it takes less brainpower to write it. Stupid ass—no. I can’t think about this now.
“It was the sex scenes. I always got hung up on the sex scenes.”

“Why?” Matt’s voice dipped an octave lower.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I lacked inspiration. Porn didn’t always cut it.”

Matt swallowed audibly. “Porn? You watched porn?”

That’s right. Think about me watching porn.
“Yeah, all kinds.” I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. “Even girl on girl. I’ve never been with a woman but that shit is seriously hot.”
Lie
. I’d never been into watching porn, let alone girl on girl. Not that there was anything wrong with it. Porn just never did anything for me. I preferred real life sexual interactions.

“You watched girl on girl porn?” Matt squeaked like a thirteen-year-old boy. I tried not to grin. He was playing into my hands perfectly. It was almost too easy.

“Yeah,” I purred. “I used to get so wet just watching women pleasure each other. My favorite was watching a woman licking another’s pussy. I used to imagine it was me sucking on another woman’s clit.”

“Fuck,” Matt muttered.

“In fact, I’m soaked right now just thinking about it.” I flopped back on my bed. “Now I’ll never sleep.” I pushed myself into a sitting position. “Unless… Are there cameras in here?”

Still standing in the same spot as if frozen, Matt opened his mouth twice before words actually came out. “Not in the rooms. W-why?” he stammered.

“I don’t know. I was just thinking that maybe I can’t sleep because I’m so horny. If there aren’t any cameras then I can at least take the edge off.”

“The edge off?”

Okay, I was starting to get annoyed.
Man up, Matty. Tell me I don’t need to take care of myself. Tell me you’d be more than willing to help me out. There aren’t any cameras. You’re the only one working this floor. No one would know. Two plus two equals four. Get there faster.
“Yes, the edge.” I forced myself to sound sweet.