Villainess (23 page)

Pain lanced through my head, temple to temple…a memory tearing into my mind.

Jonah’s dark skin glistened with sweat as he rocked into me. I slid my hands down his back, my fingers tracing the indentations of his muscles. Candles flickered around us, the light dancing along Jonah’s perfect features and body.

My thighs quivered, and my body clenched, ready for release, but I was mesmerized, unable to look away from Jonah’s dark gaze. His lips parted, his breathing heavy. I arched up, losing sight of him. His head dipped and he whispered in my ear, “I love you.”

I wanted to say the words back but the only sound I was able to make was a cry of ecstasy. My thoughts were fragmented, my body on fire, but I knew in that moment one thing for certain
. I will never love another man the way I love you, Jonah. Never.

I blinked the present back into focus, dots of color wavering in from of my eyes. I stared at Jonah. “We knew each other before.” I cupped his masculine jaw. “We knew each other and we were in love.”

I watched as shock played across his features before darkness pressed down on me, stealing me once again.

Jonah

I stared at Leila, once again unconscious and limp in my arms. What she’d said… “Kristoph, I—” How could what she said be possible?
There’s no way.
Unless…
no.
I hadn’t been a part of any of this until recently. Leila was confused, her mind still fuzzy from everything she’d just been forced to relive.

I gently placed Leila back down on the couch, standing slowly. Kristoph rested a hand on my shoulder. “What if what she said is true, Jonah? Before all of this, you would never have believed in visions and secret government experiments on children with extrasensory abilities. None of it was plausible to you. And now you know it all to be true.” I lifted my gaze to meet his concerned eyes. “Is it completely impossible to even consider the fact that you might have been involved? At least that way would explain how fast you fell for her—you already loved her on some level.”

I shrugged out from Kristoph’s touch, lurching for my desk where I slumped into my chair. It would explain my obsessive feelings with Leila, but it was all too convenient somehow. “These people who conditioned her. You’re telling me that they somehow scrubbed my memory too, at least of her? And then after all the effort they went through with her—they just let her come here? It just doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it doesn’t. But we also don’t have all the information.” Kristoph shuffled over to the edge of the couch, perching on the arm near Leila’s feet. “I’d like to go into your mind. It would be the simplest way to find out one way or the other.”

“This isn’t about me. It’s about—”

“Isn’t it?” Kristoph’s white bushy eyebrows raised above the rim of his glasses. “With every moment I see the two of you together, I believe more and more it’s not just about her, but about both of you.”

“I just—I don’t know what to think.” I scrubbed a hand over my head.

“Which is why we need to get answers.” He snatched his glasses off of his face with agitation. “We’re close to a break through, I can feel it.”

I flicked my gaze back to Leila, her face still paler than normal. What if some of the answers on how to help her were in my mind, and not hers? My heart squeezed in my chest. Could I let some kind of professional pride get in the way of that?
No, I can’t.
“Okay. Fine. You’re right. It won’t hurt anything to go into my head.” I paused, considering the situation. “You’ll need to use drugs on me too, won’t you?”

“Yes. If your mind was tampered with, it won’t be easy to pull those memories back up. I’m going to have to take you deep, just like I’ve been doing with her.”

“We should wait for her to wake up then. On the off chance I get sick, I don’t want you dealing with both of us like that.” I nodded in Leila’s direction.

“Of course I’ll do it whatever way you want.” He chuckled. “Although I really don’t see how she’s going to be much help.”

“She’s stronger than she looks.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right about that.”

The way Leila was looking at me, as if she truly did possess some secret about a past between us lost, was unnerving. She hadn’t said much to me since she’d woken up. She’d merely listened intently and agreed with our plans to put me under. Her eagerness was getting to me, I wasn’t sure why.

“Jonah, are you ready?” Kristoph asked, brandishing a rather large needle in one hand.

I nodded once in affirmation, my gaze never wavering from Leila’s, who was perched near my feet. “Let’s get this show on the road.” I feigned confidence I definitely didn’t feel. The frown on Leila’s face told me that she knew it too.

With a jab in my arm, then the slight burn of the drugs pumping through my system, I drifted off before I had time to count to ten.

Nine years ago~

It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her on campus.
Leila Lovett
. I’d made sure to find out who she was. She was only a sophomore and I was a senior, but there was just something about her. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, especially not with me juggling the extra course load getting me ready for grad school.
But maybe I have time for a few dates…maybe more. As long as I don’t get attached.

I was currently sitting at one of the large wooden tables in The Cathedral of Learning, books and papers strewn out in front of me, staring—just staring at Leila a few tables down from me. She glanced up, smiled, and tucked her long blonde hair behind her ears. She stood a moment later, stuffing her books into her bag.
Great. I creeped her out and she’s leaving.

But instead of hightailing it out of there like I suspected, she flopped down across from me at the same table. “Hey,” she whispered. “You going to keep staring or maybe actually ask me out? Unless—” She reached up and jabbed a fingernail between her two front teeth. “Do I have something stuck in my teeth?” She scrubbed a hand around her face. “Or maybe something here?” She quirked an eyebrow and laughed.

It only took me a moment to gain my bearings. I wasn’t normally the shy type, in fact, quite the contrary. “Yeah, I was getting to it—the asking you out part.”

She tilted her head. “Sometime this decade?”

I laughed. “Would you like to go out with me, Leila?”

“Hmmm…” She rubbed her chin, pretending to think about it. “I suppose so…Jonah.” She giggled at my surprised expression. “What, you can know my name, but I can’t know yours? I don’t like those rules.” She stood, slinging her bag over her shoulder, nodding at a piece of paper in front of me. “My number. Call me.” With that she sashayed out the front door.

Eight and a half years ago~

“I love you, Leila. So fucking much—”

“But? It sounds like there’s a but coming?” She stared down at our intertwined hands, the heat from the car vents ruffling her hair.

“I never wanted a relationship. I told you that from the beginning.”

She tore her hand from mine. “And I never planned on falling in love. I just thought you’d be a good time.”

I knew that wasn’t true. Maybe about the not falling in love part, but Leila wasn’t the casual sex type. Despite what I’d disclosed to her about my expectations, she’d gotten it in her head that she wanted a relationship with me. And Leila Lovett was relentless when she really wanted something.

“Leila, baby, please. Don’t ruin the night. We had fun, didn’t we? I thought we could—”

She leaned over and unzipped my pants, sliding my cock into her mouth. I was instantly hard.
So this is the game she’s going to play?
I couldn’t say I minded all that much. With any other girl, the way she used sex to try and manipulate me would be off-putting. With Leila—everything was different with her, which was the problem. She was making it difficult to keep things casual.

I fisted her hair, moving her up and down at my pace, loving the way she gagged every time she tried to take me all the way into the back of her throat. It did things to my ego to know she couldn’t quite handle all of me.

A few minutes later, I spurted my release down her throat, and she studiously swallowed every last drop that I gave her. When I was completely spent, she licked me dry and tucked me back in my pants. Her emerald gaze pinned mine. “I’m not just going to let you walk away from me, Jonah. I love you.”

I slid my hand up to cup the back of her neck, pulling her to me so I could kiss her forehead. “Yeah, I know, baby. I know.”

Intellectually I still wanted to be done with her, but my body and heart had other plans.

Eight years ago~

The candles I set up around our room danced along Leila’s beautiful features, giving her skin a golden glow. I rocked into her, watching as her face contorted with raw pleasure. She slid her hands down my back, her fingertips tracing the indentations of my muscles. I trembled, her touch doing crazy things to me.

I rotated my hips, and her thighs quivered, her pussy clenching down on me. Her luminescent gaze burned into mine, and I couldn’t look away. My heart pounded as my chest heaved. She arched up, her face tilting away from mine. I dipped my head to whisper in her ear, “I love you.”
More than anything.
I’ll never let you go.

Present~

I just lay there, not sure if I was awake or not, drifting in my thoughts. Leila had been right. We’d known each other—we’d been in love, had a relationship. Some of the memories had been more poignant, sharper in my mind, but I remembered it all now. She’d been a part of my life, one of the most important parts, and then like a dream, she’d just vanished, and I’d never noticed.

I no longer doubted that my mind had been tampered with too…but why? None of it made any sense. And I still didn’t remember who had taken Leila from my mind.

I opened my eyes, truly opened my eyes for the first time in a long time.

Leila

The emotions Jonah’s eyes held were different than before. They carried not the kind of infatuation that can be developed over the short period of time we’d believed we’d known each other, but the kind of love born from a past relationship rekindled. Because that’s what we’d done, picked right back up where we’d unknowingly left off.

When he’d been under, Kristoph pushing into the dark corners of his mind, I’d been riveted by all I’d heard. Like dominos, Jonah’s words had propelled my own mind to conjure our shared past.
I remember everything
.
At least about Jonah
. There were still holes when it came to what had happened to us, why I didn’t even remember going to the University of Pittsburgh.
A whole chunk of my past has been ripped from my mind.
As far as I was concerned, I’d graduated high school and decided college wasn’t for me. I’d taken up as an aspiring author, and the rest was history. My best friend had been murdered and then I’d met Theo… But that wasn’t right at all. Not even close.