Villainess (18 page)

“Project Reaper,” Kristoph said, his already pale face going ashen. “That name should terrify you. It does me.”

I thought back to what Leila had overheard when she’d been drugged. “You mean the whole Project Reaper 2.0?”

“Yes.” Kristoph lumbered over to my chair and sat. He sighed heavily and removed his glasses. “Project Reaper is something that has become somewhat of a cautionary tale in certain circles.” He polished his glasses and perched them back on his nose. “I’ve seen the pictures, heard the stories… Jonah, you need to put as much distance between you and her as possible. Drop her case and get the hell away from her. I can’t even imagine the kind of people who would try to resurrect such a—”

“Tell me what Project Reaper was or is—just tell me.”

“Children were taken—children with special abilities, the kind most think only exist in fiction. Empaths, healers, seers… our government wanted to control them. What they ended up creating were cold-blooded killers. Some of Project Reaper’s creations could kill with just their minds.” My mouth fell open but no words came out. “Yes, I felt the same way when I first heard that, but I saw the tapes, Jonah. I saw a girl, probably no older than her mid-twenties, kill almost an entire building of people with just her mind. And she was smiling the entire time she did it. After that, the project was scrubbed and that was the last I’ve heard of it…until now.”

“This has to be a joke. I—I don’t know if I should laugh or—I don’t fucking know.” I paced back and forth across the room a few times before ending up beside Leila again. Her finely featured face looked so peaceful, so innocent. Had she been tortured as a child, and experimented on as an adult? Was her mind even her own? Maybe the Leila I thought I knew was an image, a carefully fabricated lie.

Leila groaned, her eyes fluttering open. Vivid green met dark brown and my chest tightened.
It doesn’t matter. What was done to her doesn’t matter. I’ll fix her. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll fucking fix her.
I bent down and cupped her cheek. “Tell me how we can help her, Kristoph. I’m not walking away.”

Kristoph sighed heavily. “I had a feeling you were going to say that. But Jonah, I’m not sure I can. I don’t have all the tools I might need readily available to me, and doing it like this, in your office in the dead of night…” His voice trailed off as he lost himself in thought.

Leila reached up her slender hand to cover mine. “You should walk away. I’m not worth saving. I thought I was—I thought I had a purpose, but I’m not even sure about that anymore. I don’t know what memories are real…I don’t know anything anymore.”

I pulled her up into my arms, burying my face in her hair, inhaling her flowery scent. I wasn’t sure when it happened but I’d developed genuine feelings for Leila.
Maybe I am more fucked up than my patients
. It was something she’d mentioned in one of our sessions. She’d wanted to know more about me personally because she’d heard psychologists were sometimes more screwed up in the head than their patients. I’d been with so many women who were available, who wanted me and who a good relationship would be possible with, and within a matter of weeks I was falling for someone like Leila.
Who would have thought I had Florence Nightingale effect?
I’d never suffered from it before. Why now? Which meant, what? If I was able to cure Leila then I’d lose my feelings for her?
Fuck.
The whole situation was a complete mess.

“I’m going to help you, Leila. I’m not going to just walk away.” I tightened my grip on her. If Kristoph hadn’t been in the room I would have already stripped her naked and buried myself deep inside of her. I needed to feel her around me. I needed—“

“Well, aren’t you a surprise?” Leila murmured against the side of my face.

I reluctantly let her go and she propped herself up on her elbows, turning to face Kristoph. “So exactly how fucked in the head am I?”

A sharp laugh erupted from Kristoph. “Direct, aren’t you? Sorry about the needle earlier, I knew it would work better the first time if you were surprised.”

I snorted. “I think that was more for me than her. You knew I wouldn’t have permitted the use of drugs.”

“It had to be done. There is no other way to go as deep with someone like her. And if we intend on going deeper…”

“More drugs,” Leila finished for him.

“I’m afraid so.”

I glanced at my clock and swore under my breath. “I can’t believe it’s been almost two hours. It feels like only a few minutes have passed.” I grimaced. “You have to go back to your room, Leila. Matt is going to be waiting.”

She nodded but didn’t say a word. I could tell she wasn’t pleased but resigned to the fact.
Maybe it really is time to fire Matt.
I kept saying I was going to but sometimes it felt like an advantage to have him working for me without him even knowing the full extent. But then again…
What will Leila do now if he tries to make a move on her?
Possessiveness burned through me, pumping my blood hotter. How did I go from trying to stay professional to a lovesick fool?
Wait…who said anything about love? Fuck me.

“What should our next step be?” I asked Kristoph as I helped Leila to her feet.

“We do another session tomorrow night. I’ll gather what I can and that’ll have to be enough.”

I nodded absently, cradling Leila against me as I led her to the door. “You going to be okay?”
With Matt
, I silently tacked on. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to admit I was jealous.

“Don’t you worry, I can handle him.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I muttered.

As soon as Leila was on her way, I shut my door and helped Kristoph out from under my desk, where he’d had to hide himself again from Matt. If only I had a closet. “I’m sorry to involve you in all of this. I knew Leila’s case was out of my element but I had no idea how much or about the rest. Be straight with me—are we in any real danger?”

Kristoph met my gaze, his face stone cold. “Yes. More so if you try to expose your findings to save her life. The kind of people that did this to Leila wouldn’t think twice about ruining you…or worse, to keep their secrets. You need to seriously consider this before we move forward. You may think she’s worth it, but in the end, is she worth sacrificing everything for?”

I scrubbed my hand down my face and groaned. “I want to say yes, but I don’t know. This all seems a bit surreal. I believed in the possibility of psychic abilities…to a point. But all of this…” A part of me was still hoping to wake up.

“I can assure you, Project Reaper and all of what’s locked away in Leila’s head is very real…and a very serious matter. Deadly serious.”

Leila

Matt’s feverish lips trailed a path down the side of my neck, leaving me lukewarm. He just wasn’t doing it for me anymore. Not when I could have Jonah. “Matt, please…not tonight.” I pushed at him gently, resisting the urge to shove him. “I’m tired.”

“What’s going on with Doctor Yoshihara?” he growled against my flesh, his fingers biting into my lower ribcage.

“What do you mean, what’s going on? You know what’s going on. He’s treating me, or diagnosing me. He’s my doctor.”

“Don’t play stupid, Leila. You know I mean what’s going on between the two of you?”

I knew this was coming. The suspicion in Matt’s eyes had been festering for days. If I’d wanted to alleviate his doubts then I should have simply let him fuck me, but the problem was, I just didn’t want him anymore. “Patient doctor confidentiality.” I smirked, unable to help myself.

He finally let me go. “You’re such a bitch. You think you can just play with me like that?”

“Stop being so dramatic. You think I have time to worry about playing you? My fucking life is on the line. Not to mention the fact that I just discovered someone’s been messing with my memories, amongst other things. You were there…”

“Yeah, I was there. But none of that should effect—”

“What, my libido?” I snorted. “You don’t know women at all.” I turned away from him. “Get out. I don’t want to deal with this, any of it.”

There was a marked pause before Matt muttered, “Such a fucking bitch.” And my door slammed.

I slumped to the floor right where I was, my legs tucked up underneath me. I needed to think. So far my plans to do with the hospital, Jonah, Matt…all of it were based off of some pretty fuzzy visions I’d had. The memories that had been uncovered from my past didn’t really affect any of that, did they? I’d seen both Jonah and Theo’s faces when I’d been a child. Things seemed to be playing out the way they were meant to even though I hadn’t remembered that particular vision. At least I think they were. I’d killed Theo because I’d seen myself die in a vision if I didn’t. It had come down to him or me, as far as I was concerned. That’s why I’d told Jonah that I’d loved myself more. I didn’t have a choice. Now I was wondering if I’d ever had a choice about anything.

How much of my driving forces of motivation were things placed inside my head instead of growing there naturally? How could I play a game when I didn’t even know all the players or what the rules were?

I walked my fingers over to the side of my mattress and pulled out the deck of cards. I fumbled through the deck until I found the queen of hearts.

“Playing with the queen of hearts, knowing it ain’t really smart, the joker ain’t the only fool, who’ll do anything for you.” He stopped abruptly, standing, and then fisted my hair. “That’s what you’re gonna do, baby, make them all fools for you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“But you will.”

“Get out,” I growled to the empty room. “My mind is my own and no one else’s.” Which is why I had to take back control of it. Even if someone had been stomping around in my head, my need to create heroes was a noble cause. It didn’t matter how it’d gotten into my psyche. I needed to stop feeling vulnerable and weak. That was something good I’d learned from Theo.

“Ignore it. Ignore all of it. You need to learn to compartmentalize. Don’t allow yourself to feel anything for that man. He’s dead—gone. We did the world a favor by offing him. I think we should celebrate.”

My eyes were riveted on the gore in front of me. It really didn’t look real, like the body was a part of a movie set or a haunted house, not flesh, blood, and bone. I let my eyes slide shut as Theo’s fingers dipped under the waistband of my pants. I let my head drop back against his shoulder, reveling in his touch. It was just us. I’d only let myself feel Theo in that moment, nothing else.

“That’s right. Don’t think about him. Think about me. Think about what I’m doing to your body.” His deft fingers circled my clit before delving into my slick folds. I moaned.

“Fuck me, Theo. I need you.”
Make me forget. Make me forget everything but you.

With one arm wrapped around my waist for support, Theo tugged my pants and underwear down to my knees. He rocked me forward as I fumbled with his belt and zipper. As soon as his rigid erection was free, he rammed into me from behind. I cried out, my eyes flying open.

Blood. So much blood
. Theo rotated his hips and my breath caught in my throat. He filled me so deliciously. Sex and blood. One was a punishment and the other a reward.

“Look at him,” Theo said into the back of my neck, nipping down on my flesh. “He deserved what he got. And you deserve this.” He picked up the pace causing my thighs to tremble.

“Yes
.” I do deserve this. Pleasure. I deserve pleasure, and he deserved death. No. That’s not right. But…
“Oh God, harder. Theo…harder…”

“Concentrate, Leila. Relax. Let go. You can see what he would have done. You can see his death was the only way to save those people.”

I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d been meant to forget all of it. It was obvious from my last session that Theo was never who I thought he was. Even our good times together were a lie. Maybe I was only meant to remember him like that. Maybe the bad times were supposed to be erased from my memory completely.

A sharp pain tore at my skull as a flash of memory ripped through my head.

“That’s the problem with someone who has visions. You never know how much they’ll see,” Theo said to someone as I stared at the ceiling, unable to move.

“Her visions were always weak which was why she was tossed from the program, her mind scrubbed. But that’s where they made the mistake. The weaker ones are easier to control. Her visions can be prompted and she’ll never see more than we want her to. We’ll succeed where Project Reaper failed. And she’ll be our greatest success.” Fingers pinched my left cheek like I was a child. I wanted to lash out but I couldn’t. My limbs lay useless at my sides.

“She has no taste for blood though, no matter how I try to change that,” Theo said with a tone of contempt. “I just don’t—”

“Ah, but her abilities to manipulate will help her make others do the dirty work for her. And the process is slow, but we’ve seen marked progression. Focus on her guilt more, that will help escalate things, bringing us one step closer to the ultimate goal.”