Tessa felt right in his arms in a way no one else ever had. As he looked at her, an image rose in his memory. Niko standing at Julia’s casket, refusing to leave her side. Zander would never forget the haunted expression of pain and anguish on his brother’s face.
He pulled Tessa closer. Was he willing to give up what might be the best thing that had ever happened to him because of fear? Julia had died and Niko might as well have, but that didn’t mean he had to.
“Hey. You okay?”
Zander focused on Tessa, realizing he’d drifted off. “Sorry. I was just thinking about my brother. He’d really like you.”
He wasn’t exactly lying. Niko would have…a long time ago.
Her eyes darkened with concern. “I’m not going to push you, but you know you can always talk to me, right?”
“I know, angel.”
Her compassion wound around him, and he realized how easy it would be to tell her anything. Maybe, some day but not tonight. Tonight, he didn’t want the ghosts of the past to come between them. He didn’t want to be another sad story to her. He didn’t want pity.
She searched his face as if she could find the answers written on his skin. Finally, she smiled in defeat. “Do you want to get something to eat?”
“Sure.”
They headed for a cart that sold souvlaki and Greek spinach pie. She pulled her wallet from her purse, but by the time she got it open, he’d paid for their meals.
“Hey!” she said.
“My treat.”
“This isn’t a real date. I’ll pay for my own.”
How often would she bring that up?
“You’re doing me a favor. The least I can do is buy you dinner.”
She rolled her eyes but conceded.
They sat on a park bench near a tree strung with colorful Chinese lanterns and ate. Zander enjoyed the quiet peace of the night as they watched some of the merchants pack their wares. Tessa straightened beside him.
“There she is.” Discarding her dinner trash, she pulled Zander toward a table covered with brightly colored scarves and jewelry.
Obviously, she’d been telling the truth.
Tessa examined several beaded bracelets, trying on a blue one. Necklaces hung from a spinning rack in the middle of the table.
He pushed it absently, and a pendant caught his eye. Nestled among faeries, flowers and beads, a small, silver heart hung from a delicate chain. He picked it up. On closer inspection, he saw that angel wings formed the heart shape.
It was perfect for Tessa.
He laughed inwardly at himself. He’d gone from relationship-phobic to contemplating of buying jewelry for a woman. His closed his hand around it and considered putting it back. Jeez. What was the matter with him? It was just a necklace, not an engagement ring. Besides, no matter what, she was his friend, and this made a nice thank you gift. He glanced up. She had moved on to next table. While her back was turned, he quickly paid for the pendant.
Zander followed Tessa and slid his arm around her waist, nuzzling her hair. The fading notes of her sweet, spicy perfume drew him closer. “Mmm, you smell good.”
She didn’t even flinch. Maybe, the desensitization therapy wasn’t so far off the mark, after all.
“I’ve got something for you,” he murmured in her ear.
“Oh?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Is it a bad time to tell you I don’t like surprises?”
He shrugged. “It’s a little late.” For as long as he’d known her, she’d been a creature of habit, firmly entrenched in the predictable. The fact that she didn’t like surprises wasn’t a shock.
She eyed him suspiciously. “What is it?”
“You don’t trust me?” He realized in a moment of startling clarity that she didn’t. Not really. The thought stung more than it should have. More than it would have if she’d been anyone else. When had he ever wanted a woman’s trust so badly?
He pulled her from the rows of vendors to stand near a reflection pool that mirrored the rising moon. He lifted the hand he still held and placed the pendant on her palm.
“It made me think of you,” he said as she studied it. “I figured you could use your own set of wings.”
She ran her finger over the delicately etched feathers and smiled. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”
Zander lifted it from her palm and motioned for her to turn around. She complied, lifting her hair and exposing her graceful neck. He fastened the clasp, fingers brushing her warm skin. Unable to help himself, he lowered his lips and kissed the gentle curve where her neck met her shoulder.
Her breath caught in her throat before shuddering out in a sigh. That faint sound made him want more. Made him greedy for her. His lips trailed up the side of her neck to the sensitive spot behind her ear. “Turn around.”
She did, her eyes wide and luminous in the falling night.
He regarded her silently, ignoring the flow of people moving past them. He’d never bought into that whole time-standing-still scenario, but as he stood there staring into her eyes, it seemed as if everything else ceased to exist. He concentrated on the shape of Tessa’s mouth. Pink and full, her lips beckoned to him.
“More practice?” she asked, her voice breathy.
He shrugged. “It can’t hurt.”
“It does need to be believable,” she whispered. Leaning toward him, her gaze dropped to his mouth. She grasped the front of his shirt and tugged him forward.
He didn’t need any coaxing. Her lips met his, soft and warm and everything he’d been missing. She tasted like heaven and he wanted more. Zander pulled her to him, aware that she offered no resistance. She twined her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at his nape. He wanted her touch everywhere.
Her breasts pressed against his chest as he drew her closer. A breathy sigh escaped her lips, and his cock hardened at the sound. What he wouldn’t give to back her up against the wall and bury himself inside her. It was almost impossible to remember that they were in public. It was even more difficult to remember this was supposed to be make-believe.
Earlier, when she’d responded to his kiss, he’d pulled back, not wanting to push her. Now, he lost himself in the sensation of holding her like he’d always wanted to. Sliding his hands over her body, he couldn’t get enough of her. His fingers slid beneath the hem of her sweater, and the heat from her skin practically seared his hand. He wanted more. He wanted to cup her breasts, feel her nipples harden at his touch, suck the tight buds into his mouth while she cried out.
Trying to rein himself in, he raised his head slightly but she traced his upper lip with the tip of her tongue. Who was he kidding? He groaned and plunged into her. She tasted even sweeter than he remembered. She opened beneath his fevered onslaught and clutched at his hair. Her primal hunger staggered him.
Tessa didn’t show any sign of stopping. Instead, she slid her hand up and down his body as if crazy to touch him. Leaving her lips, he feathered kisses along her jawbone, moving toward her ear. Abruptly, she stiffened in his arms.
“Tessa?” Pulling back, he looked into her face. Had he pushed the boundaries of their friendship too far?
Her eyes open and fear-filled, she focused on a spot across the shadowed street. He turned his head, following the direction of her gaze, but he saw nothing unusual.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She didn’t answer.
“Tessa?” He turned her head to face him. “What’s wrong?”
She shook herself as if waking from a dream and pulled from his embrace. “Nothing.” She smiled suddenly. “I’m just tired.”
Her smile, plastic and unconvincing, needled him. Though she tried to project tranquility, tension rolled off her in waves. He should still be reeling from the taste of her on his lips, the feel of her in his arms. Instead, dread settled low in his gut as the memory of finding Julia’s lifeless body rose in his mind.
Something had spooked Tessa, and she wouldn’t tell him. Why? He wanted her with an intensity that unnerved him, but above all, they were friends. It wasn’t like her to lie. He looked into her face. Though she tried to hide it, he saw her panic.
He glanced over his shoulder again. Had someone been watching them? Someone who frightened Tessa? Protective fury roared through his blood. If someone wanted to hurt Tessa, he’d damn well find out.
Chapter Six
Despite the security Zander’s embrace offered, Tessa pushed from his arms. Apprehension slithered across the back of her neck, but she tried to keep the fear at bay. Someone had been watching them, but the person she’d glimpsed wasn’t necessarily her stalker. It could have been anyone who’d noticed her and Zander. They had been making out in the middle of the street.
Zander’s brow creased with worry. “I’m not buying the ‘nothing’s wrong’ line, so let’s try again. What’s the matter?”
What version of the truth would she tell? She peered over his shoulder. Whoever had been there was gone. Maybe, she’d imagined the whole thing because of nerves. If it really had been her stalker, wouldn’t he still be standing there?
“It’s stupid,” she began, meeting Zander’s gaze. “I thought I saw…an ex-boyfriend over there, and it startled me.”
“An ex?” Zander looked skeptical. She couldn’t blame him.
“The relationship didn’t end well.” She left the rest to his imagination, because she sure as hell wasn’t telling him the truth. He could fill in the blanks, and they could both go their merry way.
“What happened? Did he hurt you?” His worry morphed into anger. She almost expected him to ask for the guy’s name and address so he could pound the crap out of him.
“No. Nothing like that,” she hurried to say, ignoring the stab of guilt her lie caused. Since yesterday, she’d told one lie after another. Each one hurt a little more.
He stared at her, obviously waiting for more of an explanation.
She swallowed hard. “It just surprised me.”
A smile softened his expression. “And you hate surprises.”
“Exactly.” She wasn’t sure if he believed her, but he seemed willing to go along with her explanation.
She toyed with the necklace, still stunned he’d given it to her. She knew it wasn’t more than a gesture of friendship, but that alone was precious beyond words.
“Do you want to head back?” he asked.
“Yeah. I am tired, and tomorrow’s the big day.”
He frowned. He visibly struggled with something, but before he could speak, an older couple approached them. Tessa studied them as unobtrusively as she could, but neither one seemed familiar.
“Zander, good to see you,” the man boomed.
Zander shook his hand. “Alex, Helen, how are you?”
He introduced the couple to her, and they made the sort of polite small talk Tessa had never been any good at. Turned out they both taught in the History Department at Holbrook. Tessa nearly choked when Zander introduced her as the love of his life. She reminded herself that was the whole point of pretending in the first place, but hearing those words tugged at her heart anyway.
Eventually, they were able to extract themselves from the talkative couple and head toward home. When they were out of earshot, Tessa turned to him. “The love of your life? Don’t you think that’s a bit much?”
“Nah.” He grinned. “Alex is probably the biggest gossip on campus, and I’m pretty sure they saw us kissing.”
She tried to tamp down the disappointment. Of course, he’d kissed her for the benefit of the audience. The way she’d responded, no doubt he thought she was sex-starved and desperate. Which obviously she was—a fact she hadn’t realized until they’d started this sham of a relationship.
Regret at her behavior after the assault usually dampened any desire she’d felt in subsequent relationships. Unfortunately, Zander called to everything primal within her. The sexuality she’d suppressed for so long wanted out. This facade couldn’t be over soon enough.
He lifted her chin, and she met his gaze. “You don’t have to do this, Tess.”
“What?”
“If it’s too stressful to fake a relationship, we can forget about it.”
“No way.” She would not back out on him. He needed her assistance. “If this will help save your job, then we’re going to go to that party.” She poked him in the chest with her fingertip. “Got it?”
He laughed and took her hand. “I had no idea you had an inner dictator.”
She returned his smile, but it felt as if her face might crack with the effort of it. There was so much he didn’t know about her. As far as he was concerned, she was the girl next door. Innocent. Sheltered. Sometimes, she felt as if he thought of her as naïve or virginal. The irony wasn’t lost on her. She hadn’t been any of those things for a very long time.
Though she knew she could never live up to his sainted ideal, a part of her wanted to be that girl. Well, okay. She didn’t really want to be that girl, but she was also tired of dragging around her particular set of emotional baggage. Her response to the assault, the things she’d done in the name of dealing with her powerlessness, disturbed her almost as much as the attack itself.
Zander’s thumb absently brushed over the back of her hand, and she couldn’t stop the shivers that coursed through her body. It annoyed her that something as simple as his innocuous contact made her wish for more.
“Are you cold?”
She nodded. It seemed smarter than admitting his slightest touch made her want to forget their friendship and make love with him until they were too exhausted to move. No. She didn’t want to make love with him. She wanted to fuck him. Hard and fast. She wanted him breathless with need as he pounded into her.
What was the matter with her? He made her burn too hot too fast. He was her friend—not some guy who would be content letting her take control. Besides, she didn’t think he was the type to relinquish command easily. Or willingly. Anything less wasn’t enough for her. It wasn’t even close. Worse, she suspected he could make her lose control without much effort at all.
She refused to let that happen.
He drew her into the warmth of his body as they walked home. She searched for conversation, needing to distract herself from the seductive pull of his nearness. “After tomorrow, when is our next performance?”
“Tuesday, I think. Academic awards banquet.”