Authors: Justina Ireland
Tags: #Contemporary, #Fantasy, #Young Adult, #Romance
Am I just like them?
Tisiphone, her wings quivering, reaches for me with her taloned hands. “Finish it!” she urges, the sword appearing in my hand. I fall backward, away from her and out of Their reach. The sword clatters to the floor and lies there for a second before disappearing.
“No,” I say, my voice more certain than I feel. I remember Niko’s expression, the disgust and revulsion when he figured out my secret. Lethargy seeps into my limbs, making me feel heavy. I’m so done. “I won’t kill for you anymore.”
Megaera reaches for me as well, but her ghostly hands pass through me without injury. They both howl in rage as I crab-walk away from the doctor’s form. Pain claws behind my eyes and radiates down my spine as They try to force me back to Their side. I scream, and my eyes water, but I continue to scoot toward the front door. They fade from sight, losing Their foothold in this world.
Kill him! Seek your vengeance. You owe it to us.
You are one of us.
“No. I’m not like you. I don’t want to be a killer.” I hold tight to the memory of Niko’s sorrow-filled eyes. I will be the girl he thought I was.
You will be our Third.
“No.”
Think of it,
Megaera cajoles.
It will be like Savannah all over again. It’ll be like last night. We’ll stand by your side and keep you going until your body gives out. And when that happens, you will be like us. Eternal.
There’s the soft rustle of wings, and the winged one echoes the serpent’s wheedling tone.
Do you really want to be just another human, just another piece of meat? Do you want to flash brightly before burning out? Wouldn’t you rather be a force of nature?
Maybe, once upon a time. But something has changed. I’ve changed. Now I don’t want revenge. I want happiness. I want love. I want a normal life.
I want Niko. He saw something worthwhile in me, once. I want the opportunity to show him that the goodness in me truly does exist.
“No. I told you no.”
Nausea churns my stomach, and when I put the back of my hand to my nose, there’s blood. Fear and adrenaline make my skin feel like it’s a size too small, but I push through the feelings. I lean against the sofa and try to take shallow breaths, breathing through my mouth in panting little gasps like a woman in labor. They are tearing through my mind in Their attempt to fight free, to make me kill, and I’m afraid my head will split apart like a ripe melon.
Now’s a good time to start screaming.
The pain grows as They fight for control, but I still manage to stay huddled against the couch. At times I writhe on the floor, shrieking as They try to claw Their way out of my head. I cry and curse and mentally try to push Them back. It feels like slamming my head into a wall. At some point I vomit from the torture.
Slowly I come back to myself. I sit on the floor, leaning against the couch. I’m shivering even though the apartment is warm, and my sweater is soaked through with sweat.
“Don’t worry about how you look. I hear funeral homes are very good at putting people back together.”
Goodhart stands over me with a smirk. His left arm hangs twisted at his side, but he holds the gun in his right. He points it at me and fires. Heat and pain lance across my left bicep, and I howl. Blood traces a path down my arm, and my mind floods with panic, stealing my sight. I take shallow breaths until I can see again.
The Furies are quiet. I can feel Their smugness.
I hate Them.
Dr. Goodhart stands over me. “On your knees. The only reason you’re still alive is because I want to hear you beg for your life. Maybe if you’re nice, I’ll take you with me. I’m always looking for a subject for my clinical trials, and multiple personality disorder is so hard to find.”
Anger courses through me at his tone, the rage all my own. “Fuck you,” I grit out. I’m done. They aren’t coming to the rescue this time, not after my rejection. I don’t want Their kind of rescue, anyway. The price is too steep.
“That’s not a very nice way to ask. You’d better hurry before I lose my patience. If you lived in a better neighborhood, I’m sure someone would have been here by now, but a gunshot will have the police en route even in this miserable pit. If you want to live, you’d better start begging.”
He’s lying. No matter what I say, he’s going to kill me. But if I’m going to die, I’ll do it on my own terms. Brave words, since I shake with fear.
Dr. Goodhart has opened his mouth to say something, when there is a knock on the door. His eyes widen comically in alarm, and he gestures with the gun toward my front door. “Open it and see who it is.”
“Open it yourself.” I fall sideways onto the floor. I am truly fearless for the first time in years. It’s probably the blood loss. It flows out of my arm unchecked, and I’m pretty dizzy. I think the doctor may have hit an artery or something. I never thought my life would end this way, bleeding out onto the floor in a cheap apartment.
But there are worse ways to go.
The doctor grumbles something I don’t hear, kicking me hard in the ribs as he steps over me to get the door. I groan and roll instinctively into a ball. I wonder what he’ll say when he opens it. “Oh, don’t mind the gunshot. I was just trying to kill a cockroach.”
He inches the door open and sticks his head into the gap. He doesn’t say a word before thunder booms through my apartment and the back of his head explodes. He falls backward, and blood pools on the floor. The door slowly swings open to reveal Mindi, a gun clutched in her shaking hands. Her shocked gaze meets mine. She looks down at the dead man on the floor and then back at me.
“I thought he was you,” she whispers.
“Dumb luck,” I mutter. I look away from the doctor. The sight of his head makes me want to puke. Darkness begins to tinge the edges of my vision, and They flow out of me, manifesting in a burst of heat. Maybe They’re here to gloat.
Mindi turns the gun on me, but when she catches a glimpse of Them, her mouth forms an
O
of surprise. She doesn’t look afraid, though. More awestruck. “What are They?”
“The Furies.” No big deal, just creatures straight out of mythology.
Mindi holds out a reverent hand toward Them. I felt the same way the first time They appeared before me. Funny how things change.
“Where were you when my mother was killed?” Mindi asks in a hoarse voice. There’s a spark of some dark emotion in her eyes. This is not a good thing.
I manage to push myself up on my elbow. “Wait. You don’t want to talk to Them, Mindi. They aren’t what you think They are.” It’s too late. Already I can feel Them pulling away from me toward her. I understand why. Her sorrow and vulnerability are so raw, so naked. They are pulled toward her like iron filings to a magnet. After all, she’s the perfect candidate. I’ve seen her violent streak. And she just killed Dr. Goodhart. “Stop that, Mindi. They won’t give you what you want. You don’t want what They have to offer.”
Mindi stares at me, her eyes burning with an eerie light. With horror I realize it’s the brown melting away into cobalt blue. “Why wouldn’t I want what They offer? Justice, righteousness. I could find the guy who killed my mom, who left her on the floor like trash. My life was ruined the day my mother was killed. If I kill him, maybe everything will be better. I can fix things. I can have the perfect life.” She tilts her head to the side, as though listening to far-off music. Her brown locks curl, and bleach out to blond. Her newly blue eyes snap as she looks at me with disdain. “You had your chance, Amelie. Now it’s mine. I always lose. I’m going to win for a change.”
Silver chains begin to show around Mindi’s arms, and I sit up in panic. “No, Mindi. You don’t want this. Their price is higher than you think.” I try to crawl forward, to slap some sense into her, but a superheated wind picks me up and hurls me into the bedroom and slams the door behind me. Mindi screams as They take her.
I have to do something.
I sway as I get to my feet. Dizziness almost overwhelms me, but I manage to stay upright. The doorknob scalds my hand when I touch it, and I turn to grab something to use as a barrier.
The room is filled with a golden glow. I blink, and when my eyes adjust, I see Alekto standing near my bed. She’s a blinding pillar of light. My eyes water at her strange beauty. “Leave it alone, Amelie. You cannot help her.”
“I have to. I summoned Them, and I have to get rid of Them, take Them with me when I die.”
“You did not summon Them. They found you, the same way They have just found Mindi. My sisters have been here far longer than you know. They can’t be stopped, only slowed. They will always find a broken girl to use.” She smiles sadly. “And I will always be there to attempt to put Their vessels back together.”
She gestures toward me, and soft warmth suffuses my body. “This is not your fight any longer.” The light in the room brightens before fading away. When it clears, Alekto is gone. So is the wound on my arm.
Go live your life, Amelie.
Her dulcet tone echoes in my mind.
You are free. Go after what your heart truly desires. Go find your love.
I run across the room, open the window, and take the fire escape down to the alley below. When I look up toward my apartment, smoke billows out of the window I just exited. An explosion rips through the room, and I cover my head. Bricks and bits of ash rain down from above, somehow missing me. I shakily walk out of the alley toward my car.
In front of the building my neighbors gather, a few stragglers running out of the building in a crouch. My clothes are a mess, so I stand off to the side and watch the inferno rip through the structure.
I stand with my shell-shocked neighbors for a long while, wondering if Mindi got out alive. I have no doubt she caused the wreckage. The memory of her appearance changing to a pale imitation of Alekto’s makes it pretty clear that They accepted her as Their new Third. I only hope everyone else was able to get out in time.
There’s a soft pressure near my ankles, and I look down to see Odie. He’s covered with soot, and he meows plaintively at me. I smile and scoop him up, hugging him close. “Sorry about that, but I didn’t think I was going to make it.” I’m not sure what to do. My apartment has just exploded, and very soon cops and firemen will be showing up. They will have a lot of questions that I have no answers for, so I decide it’s a good time to take a walk. I stroll down the block to where my car is parked.
I climb in and dump Odie onto the passenger seat. He sits up high, like the co-captain of a ship.
I flip down the visor and examine my eyes. They’re gray, like the sky during a rainstorm. And no matter how I stare at my irises, there isn’t any movement. Even my hair is different, dark and straight. All except for a golden streak near the front. A memento from my time with Them.
Odie meows loudly. I scratch him under his chin. For once the only thing I hear is his contented purr. My mind is finally, blissfully silent.
“Let’s go home, Odysseus.”
JUST LIKE CINDERELLA
Niko answers on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Hi. How are you?”
He takes a sharp breath. “Jesus, Amelie, where are you? Are you okay?”
I look out over the beach, at the waves crashing upon the sand. The Pacific is different from the Atlantic. The waves are bigger and the water is ice-cold. Still, families frolic in the surf, and couples hold hands and walk along the water’s edge, their toes dipping into the foam. I envy them their closeness, when the one I want to be with is more than three thousand miles away.
“I’m good. Better than good, actually. I’m fantastic.”
“Where are you?”
A flock of green parrots flies overhead, calling out raucously. I smile at the sight. “San Diego. I’m sitting on the beach, watching the waves. Did I ever tell you your eyes remind me of the ocean?”
There is a heavy silence on the other end, and Niko takes a sharp breath. “Are you okay?” The pain in the question makes me laugh a little too loudly, and a few people turn to give me looks. I just wave at them.
“I’m fine. I told you, I’m doing wonderfully. How are you?”
“Mindi’s missing.”
People around me point and exclaim at something in the water. I shield my eyes against the sun and look out toward the horizon. In the distance a school of dolphins breaks the surface, their curved dorsal fins distinctive. The sight makes me happy. “I know. She’s gone.”
“Did you kill her?”
I snort. “No. Under that sweet exterior she was full of rage over her mother’s death. She wanted a way to get revenge. They gave her what she needed. I imagine she’s out there somewhere ripping criminals to pieces.”
Another silence. “The Furies.”
“Yes. She wanted Them; They wanted her. I tried to stop Them, but . . .” I trail off, a familiar heaviness in my chest. I’ll probably always feel guilty about letting Mindi take Them, despite what Alekto said. I don’t think Mindi’s strong enough to control Them.
I hope I’m wrong.
“Did you really try to save her?” Niko asks softly.
“Yes. She was my friend.” The weight in my chest has moved up to lodge in my throat, and I swipe a tear away before it can fall past my sunglasses. Maybe I didn’t do enough. What could I do? She had to make her own choice.
Niko sighs, and I wonder if he believes me. “Who shot Dr. Goodhart? The newspaper said he was in the apartment. It also said he suffered a fatal shooting.”
I remember the sight of his head and swallow my nausea. “Mindi, but I doubt you’ll believe me if I tell you that it was an accident. It was Their way in. If she hadn’t killed him, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’d be dead. ”
I don’t add that she was trying to shoot me at the time. Let him have some untarnished memories.
The silence stretches between us, seconds ticking away to minutes. I swallow hard, and ask, “How are you?”
“I miss you,” Niko says. His voice is rough with emotion, and my eyes fill with fresh tears.
“I miss you, too.”
“I still love you, you know. That day in the diner, I walked to my car and immediately changed my mind. I walked back to talk to you, to tell you that we should work through things together, but you were already gone.”