Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties (30 page)

     
I feel imprisoned. Yes I know, it’s pretty hard to feel imprisoned in a mansion, but believe me, that is exactly how I feel. The corset Emily had suggested I wear is not helping. I can barely breathe. I think Major Bates thought I was panting over him earlier. The damn thing is rubbing my navel so badly that it has almost taken my breath away. I discreetly pull at the front of my Givenchy white dress to gain some relief, but only succeed in pinching myself. I watch Diamond and the shocking scene of unbridled carnage the other side of the French doors as he devours a rabbit. A friend of Melanie’s stands around smoking, while her daughter looks on mesmerised. I suppose I should rescue her before she is damaged for life, the child that is, not the mother, who seems totally oblivious to the carnage in front of her. Today is my engagement party, the happiest day of any woman’s life, and I have never felt more miserable. There seems to be hundreds of people here, although in reality it is more like fifty. Etta James’ smooth voice croons over the loudspeakers and everyone is jolly. The ballroom is impressive. There is shimmering crystal everywhere. Hired staff bustling amongst guests with drinks and titbits and Hamilton’s family looking as pleased as punch. Fiona is positively glowing and Phoebe looks amazing in a backless satin dress. She is flirting outrageously with Brice and it’s all I can do not to look at them. She fans herself seductively with an oriental fan and glances at me. I turn away and sip from my glass of coke. Hamilton has said I’m not to drink.

     
‘I don’t want you messing things up, not today of all days. Let’s face it you have a habit of messing things up.’

I have no idea what he means. I see him watching me from across the room and lift my glass of coke in salute. That’s the thing about vodka. No one can tell it is in your glass can they? I’ve had three vodkas so far and I still feel tense. I see Julian approach Hamilton and my heart sinks. I really could do with some fresh air, but fresh air coupled with dead rabbit just doesn’t appeal. I turn back to the French doors and see Diamond now has a mouse and is shaking it in his mouth like a rag doll.
I swear that bloody animal is evil. I’d best stay indoors else he’ll be at my throat next. I swear the little sod is giving me the evil eye through the doors.

     
‘He’s having fun is he?’ says Margarita from behind me.

     
‘I’m not so sure the rabbit is,’ I reply breathlessly, trying to avoid the sight of the bloodbath.

     
‘You look very lovely tonight,’ she compliments me. ‘Far better without those
feed half of Africa breasts.’

     
‘Yes, I donated them to Comic Relief.’

She laughs and wanders towards a group of guests as the music changes to a more upbeat tune.

      ‘You’re bearing up well,’ says Alistair, sidling up to me.

     
‘Hello Alistair,’ I say checking his flies.

     
‘These are g-g-good trousers,’ he smiles.

     
‘Excellent,’ I say, trying to pull the corset away from my navel.

     
‘Are you okay?’ he asks.

     
‘Oh yes, fab, after all this is my engagement party isn’t it?’ I clench my teeth to make a false smile.

     
‘Everyone seems to be having a good time. I’m surprised you haven’t c-c-c-c- …’

     
‘Cocked it up?’ I offer.

He shakes his head.

      ‘No, I’m surprised you haven’t c-c-cracked up under the pressure.’

So am I.

      ‘Are you taking something?’ he asks curiously.

     
‘Coke,’ I reply.

His eyes widen.

      ‘The drink not the drug but with a touch of vodka, but don’t tell Hamilton.’

We glance at the said Hamilton who is chatting animatedly with Julian, and then our eyes scroll to Fiona and Sebastian who are talking intently.

      ‘Is there something wrong with that Major chap?’ he asks.

I look at Major Bates as he convulses around the dance floor like someone having an epileptic fit.

      ‘He c-c-c-can’t keep still,’ says Alistair.

     
‘Someone mentioned he had restless legs syndrome,’ I say, transfixed by the Major’s dancing.

     
‘Do you think Sebastian is f-f-f-f- …’

     
‘What?’ I say turning my attention to Fiona and Sebastian.

     
‘Do you think he is f-f-f-f- …’

Oh God, how do I know?

      ‘I don’t know. Is that what you’re thinking?’

He looks at me.

      ‘What do you think I’m thinking?’

Is Fiona fucking Sebastian is what I think he’s thinking but of course he could be thinking something entirely different. Stammers are buggers aren’t they?

      ‘I’m not sure,’ I say struggling to breathe.

     
‘Do you find him f-f-f- …’

Fuckable
? Most certainly not.

     
‘Not in the least,’ I say.

     
‘Really, you wouldn’t f-f-f-find …’

Good God no.

      ‘Christ, of course not.’

     
‘I don’t think he’s funny either,’ he mutters.

Oh funny, of
course. Why didn’t I think of that? The music changes and Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl blasts out, and before I know it I am being whisked around the floor by Brice Edmunds.

     
‘Enjoying your engagement party?’ he asks twirling me, obviously forgetting my bad foot. I wince.

     
‘I was until this torturous dance began,’ I reply.

     
‘Sorry,’ he smiles and lifts me off the ground.

The room spins with me as my vodka and coke takes effect.

      ‘You look very lovely in this dress,’ he says into my ear.

     
‘You look rather good yourself,’ I say feeling the drink loosen my tongue. My hands slide around his neck and his cheek brushes mine.

     
‘Are you ready for tonight?’ he asks softly.

     
‘I think so,’ I say, knowing full well I am nowhere near ready.

I see Hamilton striding towards us and the music changes as he reaches me.

      ‘Here we go,’ whispers Brice, releasing me.

Hamilton grabs me roughly and drags me to the middle of the floor. He pulls me tightly to him and I feel the breath squeezed out of me.

      ‘What the hell do you and your thieving little boyfriend think you’re up to?’ he grunts angrily as he whips me around the dance floor. Faces spin past me and I begin to feel dizzy.

     
‘I asked Julian not to come,’ I gasp.

     
‘He’s asking for twenty thousand pounds. Where do you think I’m going to get that kind of money from?’

He squeezes me roughly and I feel the corset pinch me.

      ‘Hamilton, you’re hurting me,’ I protest.

     
‘Smile and look happy.
In just a few weeks the old girl won’t know what’s going on. Tell your thieving boyfriend to back off, do you hear me.’

     
‘Hamilton,’ I say breathlessly, ‘I just want the other half of the money as we agreed. I came here and I pretended to be your girlfriend. I did more, in fact. I just want the remaining fifteen thousand you promised, nothing else.’

He drags me towards his grandmother and we stop with a skid in front of her. My foot is throbbing and my face flushed.

      ‘Good Lord boy, I’ve heard of sweeping a woman off her feet, but this is ridiculous.’

     
‘Harriet loves to dance don’t you Harriet?’

     
‘Oh yes,’ I say breathlessly. ‘Being dragged around a dance floor is my ultimate pleasure.’

She looks at me suspiciously and then back to Hamilton.

      ‘Grandma, Harriet and I were wondering if you would give us an early wedding present. With you being sick and everything, we want to be sure you see how we use it. We’ve seen a nice house and we want to get something for it to remind us of you,’ he lies. ‘We’d be so happy. Harriet wants to name the house
Margarita
, don’t you darling?’

As if. I barely know the woman, so why would I want to name my semi after her. God, he is such a
wally, but I nod all the same.

     
‘We were thinking fifteen thousand,’ he says boldly.

I fight back my gasp. My God, he doesn’t have the money to give me. All this time he has been leading me on when he’s as broke as I am. I feel my heart sink. All this hassle and I’m not even going to get myself out of debt. I feel tears smart my eyes. Margarita looks at me closely and I try to meet her eyes but I can’t.

      ‘That sounds marvellous Hamilton. Let’s get the ring ceremony over shall we, and I shall announce my plans.’

     
‘Thank you Grandma,’ he says kissing her.

It’s all I can do not to slap him across the face. I force a smile for Margarita and excuse myself saying my foot is painful. I need air. How could he have deceived me like that? I push past the guests and make my way to the kitchen where Emily, Cedric and Cook are bustling about frantically preparing food.

      ‘Miss Harriet, can we help?’ asks Cedric, seeing my crumpled face. I rush through the kitchen and out the back door, only stopping when I reach the bench in the rose garden. I flop onto it and sigh loudly.

     
‘Bastard, bastard,’ I mumble.

This must be some kind of divine punishment. What for I do not know. Maybe I’m being punished because I stole a ring from Woolworths when I was five. It all
seems a bit extreme, especially considering I took it back after my mum found out and threatened to call the police. Or perhaps it is because I bought all those things in Oxfam. Perhaps God thinks I’m supporting starving children and benefiting from their misfortune. Well I am in a way. Not supporting them starving, obviously not, I mean that goes without saying. I’m feeding them in a roundabout way, so why punish me for that? Blimey, this is a bizarre evening. I’d phone the Samaritans for advice except I don’t have any signal. I pull the corset from my navel and take a long shuddering breath. Maybe it is time to tell the truth. Instead of waiting for the shit to hit the fan maybe I’ll just throw the shit straight at it, get it over and done with. I begin to walk back to the house when I see Brice and my mouth goes dry. Before I know what’s happening I’ve fallen back onto the bench and he is beside me, his arms wrapped around me and I am snuggled against his chest, a mixture of emotions flooding through my body. I push weakly against him but it is useless and his lips are firm and demanding of mine. I respond passionately, feeling if I am to be punished it might as well be for something worthwhile.

     
‘Harriet, what are you doing to me? I have no control when with you,’ he growls into my ear.

The throbbing in my loins is unbearable now and I feel he could have me right here on the bench and I really wouldn’t care. My breasts are throbbing and begging for release. My head is spinning and there is a loud buzzing in my ears. Suddenly Brice is torn away from me and the only face I can see is Julian’s angry one.

      ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend? How dare you force yourself on her,’ he yells. ‘You ponces think everything is yours for the bloody taking don’t you?’

     
‘Julian, he wasn’t …’ I begin.

Julian glares at me.

      ‘Shut up Harriet. Just because I agreed to the Hamilton thing doesn’t mean I don’t care about other men manhandling you.’

     
‘Julian …’

     
‘Just stay out of the way,’ he barks, pushing me roughly onto the bench.

     
‘That’s enough,’ says Brice menacingly. His eyes are dark and hard and I shudder. ‘Don’t touch her.’

     
‘Who do you think you are telling me I can’t touch my own girlfriend?’ asks Julian with a sneer.

Brice shakes his head.

      ‘You have no idea how to treat women. You’ve treated Harriet abominably. You ran off and left her with all your debts and you call yourself a man.’

I nod, that’s a good point actually.

      ‘He is right,’ I say.

Julian glares at me.

      ‘Whose bloody side are you on?’

Brice’s actually
, but I think it best if I don’t voice that. I have to say I feel terribly flattered at having men fight over me. A shame there has to be blood and everything though.

     
‘A real man doesn’t desert a woman,’ Brice says provocatively with a gleam in his eye.

Jul
ian’s face turns red with anger and he whips off his jacket in one fast furious movement.