V is for Virgin (28 page)

“I don’t know,” I teased. “I don’t think I heard a please in there. That’s pretty weak begging if you ask me. I think he could do better, don’t you?”

I looked back down at Kyle, whose eyes were sparkling in a way I’d never seen them. He was thrilled that I was playing along. “Pretty please?” he begged clasping his hands together in front of him.

“With a cherry on top?” I asked.

Kyle raised an eyebrow. The grin he flashed me was positively wicked. “Cherries,” he agreed. “And whipped cream, and chocolate syrup, and anything else you’d like to lick off me.”

Okay. I’d walked right into that. I groaned, but despite my best efforts I cracked a smile. A real one. Kyle noticed it and gave me a big, silly grin. “Truce?” he urged again.

I pretended to think about it, and then sighed as if this was the most inconvenient decision I’d ever had to make. “Okay, fine,” I said sounding exasperated. “I forgive you.” I held out my hand to Kyle. “Truce.”

Instead of shaking my hand he took it in his and held it. He began brushing his thumb back and forth across my knuckles.

I shuddered, but it wasn’t his touch that was making my insides feel strange. It was the look in his eyes. Passion. Passion for me. Passion for this moment. Passion for his music. Passion for life. Just passion. It was as if Kyle Hamilton’s entire being was made of passion, and he was sending that passion straight into me. It was overwhelming.

“Shall we kiss on it?” he asked, breaking me from my trance.

The roar that statement caused from the crowd reminded me that Kyle and I were standing in front of thousands of people. I couldn’t believe that for a few moments I’d forgotten.

Kyle rose to his feet, still holding my hand, and dared me with a look to finish what he’d started yesterday. It had nothing to do with playing a part for the audience. He just wanted that kiss more than anything.

I felt horrible when I shook my head. “Sorry. I have a boyfriend.”

The hope bled from Kyle’s face but he found his smile before anyone other than me saw his disappointment. “The Tool,” he said. “I know. Don’t worry. He’ll understand.”

“I wouldn’t ask him to understand, because I’m not going to kiss you,” I said. “And if this whole truce thing is going to work out, you’re not allowed to refer to my boyfriend as ‘The Tool’ anymore. He has a name.”

Kyle sighed. “I’m sure
Isaac
is a wonderful guy. Forgive me if my pride has a hard time letting me acknowledge that.”

I was surprised that Kyle knew Isaac’s name even though I suppose I shouldn’t have been. I mean he knew my skirt’s name for crying out loud.

As I stood there, not knowing what to do next, and wondering how long this was going to go on, the crowd began to chant again. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

I listened to the demand for a moment and then looked back at Kyle. “Such loyal fans you have,” I said dryly.

One side of his mouth quirked upward. “The better to woo you with. Come on, Val, one kiss. One tiny little kiss and I’ll never bother you and your boyfriend ever again. Truce solidified forever.”

The offer was too good to pass up. “Fine. Deal.”

I enjoyed the look of shock on Kyle’s face as I stepped closer to him. Then I lifted myself up onto my toes and pressed my lips to his cheek.

Kyle sucked in a quick breath when my lips touched his skin, but then he frowned at me. “Not exactly the kind of kiss I meant.”

“Not my fault you didn’t specify,” I teased. “We had a deal. You got your kiss, now you have to leave me and my boyfriend alone.”

Kyle grinned from ear to ear. “But how could I ever leave you in the hands of another guy when you tease me like that, Legs?”

He guided me back a step until I fell onto a stool that had somehow been placed on the stage behind me. The whole band was also mysteriously in place, instruments at the ready. I’d never seen them join us.

“You should know by now, Val, that I’m not going to give up,” Kyle said, signaling to his band. “When it comes to you, I’ve got it
bad
.”

He winked at me, and then without warning Reid clacked his drumsticks together and shouted, “One! Two! One! Two! Three! Four!”

The familiar tune of my song ripped through the air and Kyle gave the most energetic performance of his life, in the form of my very own personal serenade.

She’s smokin’ hearts with a burnin’ flame

She’s got a wild side without a name

And when she’s riled it’s a cryin’ shame

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I’ve got it bad

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I’m goin’ mad…

Once it was over, I hurried off stage. It hadn’t been as bad as I’d anticipated, but I was more than ready for this public appearance to be done.

The band was right behind me and before I knew what hit me, Kyle had me in his arms and was whirling me around excitedly. “You were brilliant!” he cried, giddy as a kindergartner who’d just ridden a bike for the first time. “That was the best ending to a show we’ve ever had! They love you! The band loves you! I love you! We’ve got to take you on tour with us. You could be our little virgin mascot!”

He was still twirling me around, caught up in the moment and high on adrenaline.

“Kyle, please put me down.”

My request didn’t kill Kyle’s mood. He set me on my feet leaving his hands on my shoulders, grinning at me with wild eyes. Behind us, the Tralse fans were still cheering like crazy. “Quite the rush, isn’t it?” he asked. He gave my shoulders an excited squeeze. “Don’t go anywhere! The guys and I will be ready to go to the party in like ten, fifteen minutes.”

“But I came here with—”

“Your friends will find us. They’re all on the list. Cara will make sure they get in without any problems, but I’d be more comfortable if you’d come with us tonight. We’re taking the bodyguards this time. At least until we get inside.”

“Bodyguards!” I gasped.

“You’re not in danger, or anything,” Kyle promised quickly. “Crowds can just get a little out of control sometimes, and this one’s pretty excited tonight. There’ll be a lot of people outside the club too. It’s just better to use precaution.”

“But I’m not going—” I started to argue again but Kyle cut me off.

“Just don’t move from this spot. I need a quick shower, and then I’ll be right back.” He ducked down and placed a quick kiss on my forehead. “Ten minutes. I promise.”

Before I could do or say anything Kyle spun around and disappeared down a hall.

It took me a minute to catch up with what happened, but then I looked around and found Isaac waiting patiently in a row of hard plastic chairs to the side of the stage. When our eyes met he stood and I rushed into his arms, sighing with relief. “I am so glad that’s over!” I groaned.

“Are you okay?” Isaac asked.

“I’m all right,” I said. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. I don’t ever want to do it again, but at least the Tralse fans should stop attacking me now. Robin will be able to fix our website. Plus, I think Kyle was serious. I think he really will leave me alone now.”

“He might stop harassing you publicly,” Isaac agreed. “But that guy is not going to leave you alone. He is completely hung up on you.”

I rolled my eyes, but Isaac wasn’t kidding. His expression fell and he plopped back down to the chair he’d been sitting in. “Val, I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?”

Isaac raked a nervous hand through his hair and then looked at me with sad eyes. “I think it’s time.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. I knew what he meant, and even though I wasn’t all that surprised, I wasn’t prepared for it. I needed to be strong, though. I didn’t want this to be worse for Isaac than it already was. He deserved that much.

“We’ve known we were going to have to end it since I decided I was going to go on a mission,” Isaac said.

I knew that, but I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. Not after the week I’d had. Not after Zach and Cara and Kyle. Isaac was the one thing in my life that was constant. He was my rock. He was safe.

I sat down next to him and grabbed his hand. “But you won’t leave for another six months. We still have time.”

“I’m sorry, Val.” His voice, barely more than a whisper, clouded with emotion.

“If this is about Kyle, I’m sorry. I had to play along, but I want to be with you.”

It was the truth too. I’d thought long and hard about what I wanted in the last twenty-four hours. Kyle was right about the sexual tension between us. I couldn’t deny it. But that didn’t make him the right choice.

“It is, and it isn’t about him,” Isaac said. But he wasn’t mad at all.

“I don’t understand.”

“The way you guys looked at one another tonight, Val, you and I don’t look at each other like that.”

I blushed fiercely. I would have denied it if I weren’t swamped in guilt. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I wanted to be strong, but tears filled my eyes anyway.

“It’s okay, Val. I’m not mad. I know you didn’t fall for him on purpose. I don’t even think you realized it happened.”

“But I don’t want to be with him,” I said. “I can’t. Kyle doesn’t understand me the way you do, Isaac. He wouldn’t support me like you.”

“I’ll still be there for you, Val. I’ll always support you. We’re great friends, aren’t we?”

I nodded miserably. “Of course we are, but—”

“I care about you a lot,” Isaac promised. “I know you care about me too, but we don’t love each other.”

I couldn’t argue with that. He was right. We liked each other a lot, but we weren’t in love. We weren’t insane about each other the way Cara and Shane were. We’d been together for how many months now and neither of us had ever said the words, “I love you.”

“Just because we aren’t in love, doesn’t mean what we have isn’t a good thing,” I argued anyway. “It doesn’t mean I want to give it up. I love being in a relationship with you. Why not just enjoy it until you have to leave?”

Isaac sighed again. I could tell by the look on his face that I wasn’t going to win this argument. He’d already made up his mind.

“The truth is, I’m tired, Val. This? Things like tonight? All the fame? It’s too much for me. You’re strong enough to deal with all of this, but I’m not. I don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t keep up with you.”

I finally lost it enough that tears rolled down my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

Isaac pulled me into a tight hug. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m so proud of you. We just need different things.”

I couldn’t blame him for not being able to handle my crazy life.
I
couldn’t even handle it half the time. I really, really, didn’t want to break up, but Isaac had been so supportive, and patient, and amazing for so long, how could I not give him what he needed?

“Okay,” I said. I sniffled once, but managed to stop my tears.

“I’m sorry, Valerie.”

I shook my head. “If I’m not allowed to be sorry then you can’t either. I haven’t been able to be the girlfriend you deserve. I know that. But I wouldn’t take it back for anything. You’ve gotten me through this year.”

Isaac smiled. “That’s only fair considering I’m sort of the one who talked you into doing it in the first place.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” Isaac admitted. He gave me one last goodbye kiss. It was bittersweet, but I desperately needed it.

“You’ll find him someday,” Isaac said. He brushed his fingers over my necklace. “The guy who will make all of this worth it.”

I looked at the stage behind me, remembering everything that just happened, and a small laugh escaped me. “He’d have to be Superman to make all of this worth it.”

Isaac laughed. “He will be.”

“And you’ll find the cutest little wife who will go to church with you every Sunday, and give you twelve babies, and bake you homemade bread.”

Isaac laughed for real this time. “Now you’re just stereotyping.”

We both laughed, but it quickly turned into a mutual sigh. “You want me to take you home?” Isaac asked.

I smiled but I could feel the sadness behind it. “That’s okay. Kyle mentioned something about needing a bodyguard tonight, so I was going to call my parents anyway.”

I saw the concern fill Isaac’s face. He looked like he really wanted to take charge and make sure I got home safe, but he kept his mouth shut, apparently deciding he didn’t have the right to worry like that two seconds after breaking up with me.

I would have let him get me home if he’d persisted, but I was also sort of grateful when he didn’t. He nodded, rose to his feet, and then held out his hand to me. I let him help me up. “Still friends?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“I guess I’ll see you Monday at school then.”

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Monday,” I agreed and kissed his cheek. “Bye Isaac.”

“Be safe tonight,” he answered.