Unworthy (11 page)

     “They’re all waiting.” she says, as she stands in the doorway looking alluring in her grey, but cheap suit. The woman should be nothing, but couture. I look between the two of them as I take my own folder from my table top.

     “Show time.” We make our way to the conference room, and as I step in the door I can’t help, but notice the worried faces that look back at me. That’s right, you stealing fuckers, you should be worried and I decide to keep them waiting as I take my time to take my seat. Grace and the lawyer take their seats next to me, Grace with a notepad and pen in both her hands ready for the action. I take a sip of water as I watch each and every one of them as they sit around the table and I swear I can hear the rapid beating of each of their hearts.

     “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.” I take another sip of my water, just to prolong the anxiety.

     “We were already here last week, but none of you were forthcoming with information so I had to make my own with some help. Do you know what I found, ladies and gentlemen?”  I take a look around at all the faces and just like me they are all looking around at each other waiting for anyone except themselves to answer my question. I hate people like this. They did the deed, but now that I’m asking questions they won’t open up and tell the person they have wronged what they did. Fucking wimps all of them, and they have no place within these walls. I take a look at each and every one of them and when no-one offers to speak I take the opportunity, like a true Harding male.

     “OK. If you would all like to take a look at the folders that my new assistant, Grace,” I gesture a hand towards her and all she does is nod her head as she continues to look down. Her head should be up high with pride, but these fuckers have helped to keep it down.

     “Has done up for you, you’ll see that we have both been very busy. The business has done very well, but not nearly as well as it should have done. In all the years you ladies and gentlemen have been in charge there has been no progression into other areas of the business. There should be enough money to at least build a new hotel here and there within Europe like my father has suggested, but there has been nothing. Would anyone like to guess a reason why?” Again, they all look around the table at each other with nervous glances. They know I have them and they’re shitting bricks. Good. I look around the table at each of them as they plead with their eyes for me to save them from their own making. I can’t do it, though; they have messed with the wrong family. As an employer we are always fair and give rewards to our valued staff and these fuckers have been taking the piss.

     “OK.” I bite my bottom lip and I begin to nod my head as I cross my arms in front of my stomach.

     “I’ll let my lawyer tell you.” I take a seat as the lawyer stands up and I don’t even listen to him, I just look at the faces around me go into complete shock as they realize they’ve lost their jobs. There are a few looks of hatred centered right at me, but most is just of sorrow and regret and I could almost feel sorry for them and I’m glad the lawyer and I came up with the agreement we have. We won’t press charges as long as they return the money and leave here with no issues. Time goes by and then they have all left and I am in the room with Grace and the lawyer. I look towards him as I shake his hand.

     “Thank you Mr. Jones.”

     “You’re more than welcome, Mr. Harding. I’ll see you soon, I’m sure.” And with that he exits the room and it’s just me and Grace left. I can feel her unease radiate throughout her and all I want to do is comfort her, but this I have to admit is too much fun. I really am a bastard, but her innocence speaks louder than any musical instrument. Her body language is just begging me to save her from herself and her past and I would be an idiot not to help. The more time I spend with her, the more I become entrapped within the web she is weaving around me and I can’t ask to be in a better place. As I watch her I feel the anger rolls over me in waves as she continues to keep her head down. I sit back down so I am less of a threat to her; I’ve never cared shit for that before. That’s what she is starting to do to me and I can’t help, but like it.

     “Do I intimidate you that much that you can’t even look at me?” She slowly raises her head and I am greeted by that beautiful face. I can see the sadness that hides within the depths of her very soul as I look into her eyes, such a beautiful color that holds too much emotion. It’s then that I realize that I could really care for this woman who sits before me like a scared animal.

     “Y…yes.” She says, just barely loud enough for me to hear it.

     “Most people do, so you’re not alone. But maybe just once I want something different.”

     “W…what?”  I’ve panicked her; best keep this as low key as I can. God, I’d love to know what’s messed her up so much that she’s so nervous and uptight. The challenge of unraveling her would be amazing and the rewards would be even better.

     “Calm down, sweet cheeks, don’t get your panties in a twist.” She looks at me a little confused and I can’t help, but laugh as she slowly shakes her head at me.

     “Panties? Do you mean knickers? You’re not going anywhere near my knickers, rich boy.”  There’s that fire that she every so often lets me see and it entraps me every time it comes out of her mouth, but she has to ruin it by saying rich boy. I’ve always been known as the rich boy, people are only ever interested in what I can do for them, but even though Grace says it I know that it is not meant in the same way. She is not like any other person I have met before. She doesn’t care about the money I have and it couldn’t be any more refreshing.  I stand up again and hold out my hand for her to take.

     “Come.”

     “Where are we going?” She asks, with both her hands still placed on the table.

     “Out. Anywhere, but here.” I take her hand that is nearest to me and I pull her up from the cage of her seat. I can tell her legs are like Jell-O as she is slightly unstable on her feet, so I have to place both my hands around her waist to steady her. She feels warm as I close in towards her and I can feel her body mould around mine. It’s as if we are made to fit one another. I’ve never believed that rubbish, but that was before I met someone who I could see a future with.

What the fuck? I pull away from her and grab a hand and lead her away from the conference room and the floor.

CHAPTER TWELVE

GRACE

The man reeks of confidence.

     A confidence I would love to hold myself, but my past has made me so damaged that I know that it could never happen. I sometimes feel like I am a lost soul, just going through the motions of every day living, just praying that someone will help get me out of it.  I’m not stupid enough to think that I live in a fairy tale, this is the real world and shit happens. Shit has definitely happened in my past and I don’t deserve the fairy tale or to even walk around my peers with the same amount of confidence as Samuel possesses.

I’m damaged goods; I’m the devil in disguise.

I only bring pain and loneliness to the people I have ever loved or who should love me, but can’t because it’s too hard to let me get too close. That’s why my father left; I was too hard to deal with so he left me with the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally. Instead, she hated me and my father had left me to that life without a care to the world. I deserve it though, I’m a horrible person.

I’m a pathetic excuse of a human being. I am soon pulled out of those very thoughts and they are soon forgotten until I allow them to reemerge as I realize we are out on the streets of London walking along the south bank of the river Thames and towards the London Eye. It’s so big as I look up and stop dead in my tracks, staring at the large ferries wheel. Samuel stops and looks at me with a questioning look.

     “Where are we going?” I ask him as I try to swallow around the words. I can feel a tug at my hand and Samuel’s smile loosens the fear that holds me to my spot.

     “Come. There’s nothing to worry about, I’ll protect you.” And he gives me a wink and I can’t help the words that fall from my stupid lips.

     “If only you could.” He looks me up and down, trying to take in what I’ve said, but I’m not going to elaborate so I don’t say anything.  He pulls me towards the front entrance and we are quickly walked to one of the many capsules which we have all to ourselves. Samuel lets go of my hand and I watch as he walks right up to the glass and I can see him watch the view as I feel the capsule move.

     “What are we doing, Samuel? Don’t we have work to do?” He turns around and I see the biggest smile I have ever seen grace his face and I’m sure another part of the massive wall I’ve built around myself begins to crumble, but not yet fall. 

     “Of course, but it can wait for now. Come have a look.” He gestures out his hand for me again and I don’t know why, but I take that hand and step up to the glass. As we continue to get higher I can see the beautiful view of London laid out beneath me and I can’t believe that in all the years I have lived here I have never thought of doing this before, it’s simply beautiful. It revolves around at a slow and steady pace so you have the time to take everything in. We can see Canary Wharf, Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace, The Mall, Big Ben looks proud and tall and the whole scene before me is stunning.

I sense Samuel step away from me, but I just take in the view.

     “I have something for you.” I’m sure I have misheard him but as I look towards him I see that he has a small box in his hands and my body goes into some type of shock.

     “What?” I manage to get out and all Samuel does is shake his head at me as he gives away a little giggle.

     “Don’t worry; it’s just to say thank-you.” With that he opens the box and inside is a beautiful pair of gold diamond stud earrings. They look so expensive and there is no way that I can accept them, he has done too much already for me and I can’t let him do anymore, I can’t.

     “They’re just to say thank-you, Grace, don’t panic” It’s a rather expensive gift just to say thank-you and before I know it he’s putting the box in my bag

     “I can’t.”

     “Yes, you can, and I want you to have them.” All I can do is look away from him as I say thank-you and out of the corner of my eye I can see his smile as he thinks he’s won.

As we get closer to the ground I can’t help, but melt at the wondrous look upon Samuel’s face.

     “I guess we should get back to the office now.” He turns away from the view that is slowly disappearing beneath us and shakes his head at me.

     “What?” I can’t help, but ask him as I can hear the laughter he releases at my expense. I can’t help, but fear it is centered at me. Just like everyone else.

     “So quick to go back to work, have you ever just allowed yourself to have some fun, Grace?” He looks at me in that way he does and I can feel myself become uneasy at his question
.

     “Fun.”

     “Yes, Grace, fun. Many people do it during the weekends or of an evening, anytime they feel like it; you should give it a try.” I am left speechless as I take in his words and I can see the small smile he gives away as he watches me and takes in my reaction to his statement. What a jerk, I mean who does this guy think he is. I mean, he’s my boss, my very attractive boss, but what gives him the right to say this to me? I’m just about to tell him what for when the bastard beats me to it.

     “Do you even know how to have fun?”  That’s it, I’ve had enough of this, of course I know how to have fun, and who does he take me for? A complete loser? Oh my God, I am so stupid, that’s completely what I am, but I can’t let this man know that. There is no way that I can let anyone know that I have no friends, that I keep myself isolated in the fear of getting people hurt or hurting myself more than I already do. That’s why my father left and why my mother hates me and I can’t help, but shed a tear as I think of my lost family, the family I never or will ever have. I can feel a sudden squeeze of my hand and as I look up Samuel has his perfectly-shaped brows up.

     “Are you still with me, Grace?”

     “Y…yes.” I can’t help, but stutter around that one word and as I try to control the need to run and protect myself I can see Samuel doesn’t believe me.

     “Are you sure? You looked like you were somewhere else?”

     “Yes. Samuel, I said yes didn’t I.” I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt, but at the thought of him not believing my little lie it just kind of came out. I try to cover my face with my hands; at the moment it seems to be the only way to hide. I can feel Samuel’s hands on mine before I see them and he begins to remove my hands from my face.

     “You’re too pretty to hide.” He whispers, so only I can hear him as he searches my face. I can feel the tingles shoot up my entire body as it heats up under his stare. I can’t help, but look down, there’s no point looking at him because the moment I do I will think he would actually mean it and there is no way that that could be a possibility.

     “Never look down, Grace.” And he pushes my chin up so I’m forced into the sea of grey that are his eyes and I can see honesty there, but it’s not for me. There is no way it could be for me, I’m damaged and unworthy of anything good, history has taught me that over and over again, I just never seem to learn from my lessons. I can sense him looking at me again with that questioning look of his and once he has my attention again he begins to talk.