Until Lilly (6 page)

“Dude
, what the fuck?” Nico growls, and I look at him. “So why didn’t Lilly try harder to contact you?”

“She
Googled me at some point and saw my wedding announcement. That, coupled with the fact that I had supposedly told her to have an abortion was the final straw.”

“So you have a daughter with Lilly
, and what, she finally called you after all these years asking you for support or something?” Nico asks.

I shake my head. “No
, I took Jax to Jumping Bean in Nashville and saw her there. When she saw me, she looked surprised, then a little girl came up to her calling her Mommy. The little girl knew exactly who I was when she saw me, and asked me if I was her daddy.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, her name is Ashlyn Alexandra.”

“Fuck
me
,” Asher whispers.

“She is beautiful
, and could be Jax’s twin,” I continue.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Get to know my daughter…and get my girl back.”

“Dude
, the last time that you came to us with a problem, you ended up married to Jules, who, by the way, is a fucking bitch to end all bitches,” Nico says, standing.

“Look
, I am going to bring her to Mom and Dad’s this weekend. You will all see for yourselves the kind of person she is.” Nico shakes his head, walking to the door. He has seen all the damage that Jules as has caused, and how much I’ve had to do in order to protect my son from her insanity.

“You know
, I get that you want to get to know your daughter, but dude, no way should you try to get back with your ex. You have enough problems already,” Nico says. I look at Trevor; he is the only one who knows that Lilly was mine. She is my one, and I gave her up thinking I was doing the right thing, Not that I regret for one second what I went through. If I didn’t do what I did, Jax more than likely wouldn’t be here, and I cannot imagine life without him.

“Lilly was my one
—
is
my one,” I state firmly, watching Nico’s face fall. He rubs his forehead.

“Fuck me
. I guess I will see you guys this weekend then.” With that, he lifts his chin and is out the door.

“Have you explained what’s going on to Jax?” Trevor ask
s.

“Yeah
, I talked to him about it. Well, I tried; he doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, but he knows that Ashlyn is his sister.”

“This is like a bad soap opera
,” Asher says, standing. “But I gotta say that if things work out, I will be happy for you, brother.”

“Thanks
,” I say, and he pats me on the back before walking out the door. I look over at Trevor, who is still sitting with his elbows on his knees.

“So
…when is she moving in?” He smiles, and I can’t help but smile back.

“Not sure
. I hope it will be soon, but it’s a little harder than your or Asher’s situations. We have to think about Jax and Ashlyn.”

“You want some advice?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s something Asher told me when I was starting out with Liz.” My eyebrows draw together.

“Push her,” he says, nodding his head like he just told me where to find a million dollars.

“Push her? That’s your advice
?” I ask, shaking my head.

“Yep, if she’s yours
, it will work out. Push her into a corner so she doesn’t have a chance to retreat.”

“And Asher gave you this advice?” I do not doubt this
, but seriously, what the fuck does that even mean?

“He did. And it worked
, so there you go.” He pats my back shaking his head, leaving me standing in the middle of the barn wondering how the fuck he and Asher ended up married.

                                                                                  *
~*~*

My GPS tells me I have reached my destination
, and I look around the apartment complex. I come to realize that they live in an area known as ‘High Row’; the whole areas is infamous for its easy access to drugs…and my daughter and woman are living here. I shake my head when Trevor’s advice comes to mind. After parking, I get out of my truck and slam the door. The doll I got for Ashlyn is in my hand as I walk up the two flights of stairs and knock on their door. I can hear laughter coming from the other side. When the door opens, Lilly takes a step back.

“Sorry
, we just got up so were making pancakes,” she says as I close the door behind me. She’s wearing a black tank top that is completely form fitting, and her legs are covered in tight, black spandex. I growl when she turns away from me; her perfect ass is on full display. She might as well be wearing nothing with how much her pants show off. She looks over her shoulder and my eyes fly up; I can’t help but smile at the look on her face.

“It’s no problem.” I shrug
, and her eyes narrow slightly. We walk around the corner into the living room/kitchen; the space is small, and most of the items in it have seen better days. Ashlyn is sitting on a barstool stirring a bowl of pancake batter. She is still in her pajamas, her hair is all over the place, and when she sees me she smiles, showing off one little dimple in her right cheek.

“You came
!” she says happily, looking at me, then her mom.

“I told you I would.” I smile
.

“I know
, but...” She pauses, looking back at her mom.

“I told you he would be here
,” Lilly reassures her, and Ashlyn shrugs, going back to mixing.

“Is it time to add eggs?” Lilly ask
s her.

“Yes
, can I crack them?”

“How about if Cash helps you crack them while I start the bacon?”

“Okay.” She smiles, and all I can think is how much I love her already. “Is that for me?” she asks, pointing to the doll that’s still in my hand.

“
It is,” I tell her, sitting the doll on the counter. “How about if she watches while we make breakfast?”

“Okay
,” she says, looking at the doll as I place it on the counter in front of her.

“Here you go
.” Lilly hands me three eggs and a bowl. “We don’t want to eat egg shells, so this is easier,” she says quietly before walking back to the fridge, bending over. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from groaning. I haven’t been with anyone since my divorce; I learned a hard lesson when that shit went down. It wouldn’t matter though; even if I had been fucking everything that walked, Lilly had always done it for me. She is the perfect package of sweet and sexy. Watching her with our daughter is completely different than watching Jules with Jax. When we lived together, I may as well have been a single father. The only time Jules had anything to do with Jax was when it was time to show him off like a new handbag, but the minute he served his purpose, she would hand him back to me. I shake my head and turn, just as I see Lilly’s head come up.

“You ready to do this?” I set down the bowl
, hand Ashlyn one egg, watch as she taps it lightly to the countertop, and when she gets it to crack, she lifts it over the bowl. Both of her small hands wrap around the egg and her hands squeeze, crushing it. I laugh, looking at the bowl that is now full of shells and egg.

“I did it
!” She smiles, and it’s just like her mom’s, bright and blinding.

“You did.” I nod
, handing her another egg. She follows the same steps two more times; I take the bowl away from her, along with one of the egg shells so that I can fish all the broken pieces out of the bowl. I feel the weight hit my chest and look up to see Lilly watching us. She’s smiling, but she also looks sad. I reach over, running my finger down her arm; she shakes her head, looks away and puts more bacon into the pan.

“Now we ha
b to mix it.” I finish removing the shells and hand her the eggs so she can dump them into the mixing bowl.

“Here.” Lilly hands me a measuring cup full of milk
, and I dump it in while Ashlyn stirs.

“Where are the pans?” I ask Lilly
, my hand at her waist. I feel her shiver as my fingers flex against her.

“What?” She looks over her shoulder at me and I spread my fingers out
, putting slight pressure on her waist. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Asking where the pans are.” I smile when she gives a slight growl
, stepping out of my grasp.

“Does your wife know you’re here?” She covers her mouth
, looking over at Ashlyn who is not paying any attention to what we’re doing; she is still happily stirring the batter.

“My wife?” My fist
s clench. She clears her throat.

“Never
mind. The pans are next to the sink.” I grab her hand, forcing her to follow me. We’re going to get this shit settled right now. “Now what are you doing?”

“We
’re going to get a few things straight.” I turn her so her back is against the wall, and she presses against my chest, trying to shove me away. Her size compared to mine makes it impossible.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”
she asks, and I press into her. We’re just around the corner from where Ashlyn is sitting. If I lean back, I can see her.

I put my mouth near h
er ear so I don’t have to talk too loudly. “I am not fucking married.” I press my hips into hers. “I was married. It didn’t last long. I hated my wife. I hated the reasons why I had to marry her. I missed you every day, but I do not regret marrying her because I have my son now.” Her eyes search mine; she crosses her arms over her chest. I pull her arms apart, putting them up above her head.

“Stop
,” she cries, wiggling and trying to get free. Her breathing speeds up, her eyes drop to my mouth, and just like that, it’s on. My body presses the length of hers, and keeping her hands above her head, I attack her mouth. I lick her bottom lip and her mouth opens under mine. My tongue touches hers and I coax hers into my mouth then suck hard, making her moan. She pulls back, biting my lip. I drop her hands and fist her hair, forcing her head one way and tilt mine the other. I missed this; I forgot how much I loved kissing her, and she could fucking kiss like no other. I pull back, laying my forehead on hers, trying to catch my breath and calm the hard-on that is making my jeans way too tight.

“I'm going to make you fall in love with me
again,” I tell her without thinking.

“What?”
she asks as I press my mouth to hers one more time, not answering her question. I step away, walking back into the kitchen to finish making breakfast.

I look over at Lilly
, who is standing on the other side of the counter. “This weekend we will be going to my mom and dad’s for a bar-b-que.” I run my hand down Ashlyn’s hair then look at Lilly. “I will come pick you up with Jax, and we can head over there together.”

“Um
,” she mumbles, looking confused. Her lips are swollen and her cheeks are a light pink. Trevor’s words come back to me again. I don’t know if he is right, but I guess we will find out.

“You should pack a bag and we should have a sleepover
this weekend,” I say, making Lilly’s eyes grow wide.

“Yay
, sleep over!” Ashlyn claps, making me smile and bend over to kiss the top of her head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea
,” Lilly states, crossing her arms over her chest, showing off the curves of her breasts.

“Well
, if we’re going to go to the zoo Saturday morning, it will be easier if we all sleep in the same place. I mean, Jax and I could stay here, but you don’t have as many rooms as I do.” I shrug like it’s no big deal either way.

“Were going to the
zoo?” Ashlyn whispers, looking at her mom. Lilly’s eyes fly to hers, and her face completely changes. “Can we, really?” Ashlyn asks.

“Sure
, we can go.” Lilly takes a step over towards Ashlyn, looking into the bowl. “Is that all ready?” 

“Yep.” Ashlyn smiles
, and Lilly kisses her forehead before taking the bowl away from her and setting it close to the stove. She goes about pulling out a pan and heating it up, while I talk to Ashlyn about the zoo and what she would like to see. Every chance I get, I touch Lilly, making sure she knows I haven’t forgotten about her. She doesn’t say anything, and I can see the wheels in her head turning. When breakfast is done, we sit down around the small table to eat.

“
Where is Jax?” Ashlyn asks, taking a bite of her pancakes.

“He’s with my mom
—your grandma.”

“Will I see him tomorrow?”

“No, you won’t see him until the weekend.” I look between Ashlyn and Lilly, coming to a decision. “Unless we come over tomorrow and take you ladies out for pizza?”

“Yay
, pizza!” Ashlyn yells, and I laugh. I look up at Lilly, who doesn’t look very happy.

“Go get dressed
, love bug,” Lilly says. Ashlyn scoots off the chair, and then heads down the hall to her room. Once she is out of sight, Lilly turns on me. “Look, I am happy you want to be a part of Ashlyn’s life, but that doesn’t include me, okay? I mean, we haven’t been a
we
for a long time.” She stands, picking up her plate.