Unsettled (Chosen #1) (11 page)

“It’s you
,” he continued. “You’ve become something more to me in these past few weeks. Coming here with you has made me feel different. I… I’ve never felt like this about anyone. You’re one of a kind, Lizzie. You mean…a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too. But I have to ask a question
,” I said. I didn’t want to bring up the night of Freddie’s birthday and the way he reacted to me being out with Freddie, and the way Freddie ignored me after that night. But I had to ask. It didn’t make sense after the initial proposition of just being a summer fling. He made it feel like something more than that after that night, and I wouldn’t know what he really thought unless I asked.

Teagan t
ensed behind me. I whipped around to look at him and he gave me a slight smile. He nodded for me to continue.

“Why were you so upset when I went out with Freddie last week?” I looked at him pointedly.

He shifted and his grip around me relaxed a little bit. I could see different feelings jump across his face but I couldn’t make out his thought process.

“Dunno. I think Freddie likes you. I think he has since the first night we met you
,” he said.

“Are you
... Do you think I like him, too?” I asked.

“Well, that night, I wanted you to be with me and you never expressed interest in him before. I thought maybe you were growing tired of me and I was worried I would lose you. I mean, not lose you because I
know I am going to lose you. But I would lose this, here and now,” he said as he put his hands over my shoulders.

“Te
ag, I like him. I like him like a friend. Sure, he’s attractive but I’ve never felt anything for him. It has never been like it is with you. From our first kiss, I felt like you had a piece of me forever. I know that it’s just a summer thing, but I won’t ever forget this summer. I know that,” I said firmly.

“I won’t ever forget it either, Lizzie
,” he said as he nuzzled my neck.

Much later, we walked in the darkness through the woods, hand in hand
, towards the cabin.

Seventeen

Romance

After a wonderful night of steamed lobster, beers, and christening of every piece of furniture in the cabin, Teagan and I slept in late. Even when we woke, I moved into his arms and we smiled
at each other. We lay there for a long time, enjoying the complete silence of the island. I couldn’t remember it being so quiet out there. The buzz of the city was long gone, and I could tell Teagan was enjoying the peace as much as I was.

I heard a large group of people approaching the cabin
, and Teagan lifted an eyebrow at the noise.

“It’s probably just a bunch of hikers. People don’t really care about trespassers here. Everyone is going somewhere on the island
,” I said.

Just then
, I heard the door open and the screen door slam shut, and all I heard were female voices. Wait... Oh my God. I heard Kelly first then Amanda and they were coming up the stairs singing, “Lizzie, Lizzie, baby.” I shot straight up and pulled the sheet up over my naked chest. I looked over at Teagan and he looked amused.

When they got to the doorway, they looked in and I could tell they were going to immediately pounce on the bed. When they were startled by Teagan, they immediately backed up. I smiled
at them. “Hey, girls. Long time, no see! I can’t believe you’re here,” I exclaimed.

“Uh, hey
, Lizzie. Girls, let’s go downstairs and give Lizzie a few minutes to get dressed,” Amanda said as she cocked an eyebrow at me.

My eyes snapped back to Teagan and he was still smiling
at me.
“Your girlfriends, I take it?” He laughed.

“Oh
God. Teag, I am so sorry,” I said.

He waved his hand
, and once the girls were downstairs, he lifted the sheet off his naked body and I watched him walk across the room to his bag to collect some clothes. He stopped to see if I was going to get dressed. His slightly confused look quickly turned to his usual amused smirk.

“Are you checking me out?” he asked.

“Always,” I said unabashedly.

I threw on a robe and jumped off the bed. As I walked downstairs, all I heard was small laughter and murmuring. As I rounded into the kitchen, all my old girlfriends sat at the table with steaming mugs of coffee in their hands. Kelly pointed to an empty chair
in front of a coffee cup and said, “Sit.” She was fierce. Another red head in the crowd and this could get surly.

“Spill
,” they all said at once.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“His name is Teagan. He’s here from Ireland for the summer. We met when he first got here and we’re really close friends,” I said, looking down at my perfectly made cup of coffee with sugar and cream and caramel drizzled over it.

I looked up to smile
, and all their faces were blank. Kelly’s mouth was wide open.

“Lizzie. That,” she said as she pointed up to the bedroom, “is not just
close friends.”

I sighed.

“Girls, it can’t go anywhere so I’m just having fun, and since we’re all here together, can’t we just relax? I haven’t partied in over a week and I want to get down and dirty with my girls,” I said, sipping my coffee like it would save me from the embarrassment of not knowing what the fuck was going on with Teagan and me.

“Hell yes!” Amanda screamed as she went over to the sound system and popped in a CD. I knew what she was doing. It was a tradition for us. Once
, in sixth grade, there was a talent contest and we performed a choreographed dance to “Pump up the Jam.” We all instantly fell into step in the living area space, pushing tables and chairs away to make room for all of us. Even though Kelly didn’t participate in the original, we made sure that, over time, everyone knew the dance steps, and while some of them changed to make them a bit sexier, it was the official start up to a girl’s weekend. I got in the front of the line and started my hips, falling into the rhythm of their heads bobbing in the back. It was very serious, like we were back in sixth grade and needed to win the grand prize, which we didn’t. I was sure that the male a Capella group didn’t have the same fun memories that we did.

As we
turned in a circle to move my hips in a slow fashion, I saw Teagan staring at all of us like he had never seen a show before in his life. I could see his pride, the riveting stare, only on me. The song wound down and we all started laughing and hugging.

“And the commencement begins! Is Holly nervous about today?” I asked.

“Hell no,” Amanda said. “She wanted to come with us but her mother-in-law is making her up and doing really strange things to her hair.” The rest of us rolled our eyes.

“Lizzie,” Teagan’s voice came from behind me. “I don’t think you
’ve introduced us.” He placed his hand on my back and looked around the girls expectantly. Their mouths opened and then shut again. I could tell they loved his accent as much as I did.

“So, Teagan, this is Amanda, Kelly and Sarah. They are very old friends. We went to school together. Girls, this is Teagan, my…my…” and just as I was going to say, friend, Teagan interrupted and said, “I
’m Lizzie’s boyfriend.” He politely shook their hands while the flush of my skin was apparent. All the girls darted their looks between him and I while plastering smiles on their faces.

“Teagan, it
’s a pleasure to meet you. Any friend, umm, boyfriend of Lizzie’s is a friend of ours. But are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?” Amanda said with all seriousness in her face.

Shit, she wasn’t going to bring up all the guys in my life
, was she? I started to clear my throat, begging her to halt that thought. She gave me a wicked smile and put her hand on Teagan’s arm.

“You
’ll never be able to keep up this weekend, so hold onto your knickers,” she said with a laugh.

“I think I
’ll manage.” He laughed while throwing his arm around my shoulder. I looked to him and smiled.

“Is that a challenge, Te
ag?” I asked.

“It’s a promise, Lizzie O’Malley,” he said with a mocking sneer.

“Okay, well, we have to go. If we’re going to actually make it to this shin dig, we might as well doll ourselves up. Lizzie, do you need anything?” Kelly asked as she blatantly stared at Teagan.

“Nope, all set. Teagan bought me a beautiful outfit and we
’re psyched,” I said with pride. Teagan squeezed my ass.

As I showed the girls out to the front lawn, I asked where they were staying.
Apparently, Holly’s family rented out the only hotel on the island for everyone to stay in. They were giddy with excitement. As we were hugging, I gave them a reassuring nod that I would see them later.

As Kelly hugged me again, she whispered in my ear, “Oh
, and Lizzie, Chase is here with Tyler. He wants to see you.”

My whole body tightened
, and when I was about to ask her ten different questions, she rolled her eyes and headed off down the path to the hotel. I stood outside the cabin in my robe for who knows how long. What the fucking hell was Chase doing there? Sure, they were his friends too, but it was a major trip for one night of wedding debauchery. Why does he want to see me? What didn’t we say on our trip from Oregon to Colorado? I always pushed marriage with Chase, trying to get my mind from racing about my place in life, or should I say, running away from life. I did want to settle, but after Chase’s declaration of not being ready for that type of commitment, I knew. I knew we were over. That rejection was all it took for me to lash out and hurt him the way he hurt me. Sure, actions are hurtful, but after years of us being together and exploring life, his words of denial cut so deep, nothing made sense anymore. I felt lost. Now, I would see him again. In a few short hours, I would be in the same church with him, watching our friends marry. Fucking irony. I pushed aside the thought of him even being there, and decided to avoid him at all costs.

Teagan came out
to the front steps with a mug in hand. When I heard the slam of the screen door, I turned to him and smiled brightly. His long cargo shorts with a million different pockets accentuated his bare chest and feet. He became more beautiful every day.

“Your friends are interesting
.” He smiled.

“Yeah, they are,”
I said as I rounded up to the sun room.

“
You were standing on the green grass in that silk white robe, the sun shining through your red hair. God, you’re a vision,” he said earnestly.

I blushed and looked into his eyes, wagering if I should say anything about Chase. Fucking fuck.

“So… boyfriend?” I asked coyly.

“Yes. This weekend, we are just that
,” he said with finality.

I crumbled
at his words. It was not safe. It was not the truth. He was not mine. Could I pretend? Wasn’t I doing that every single moment I spent with him? This was me, though. High drama in the most messed up situations. Sometimes I wondered if they should do a Lifetime movie about my consistent screw ups. With Chase on my mind and the thoughts of only being Teagan’s girlfriend for a weekend, I started to cry. Teagan wrapped his arms around me and shushed me.

“What did I say? Why are you upset?”
he asked.

“Because you and I both know the truth, Teagan. We will never be. You leave and I lose
,” I said through my tears.

He looked at me with sympathy and nodded.
“I lose too,” he whispered.

There was nothing more to say.
We just stood there, hugging each other and letting the reality set in.

As Teagan and I dress
ed for the wedding, I glided through the rooms, applying small amounts of makeup and blow drying my hair. When I pulled out the dress from the garment bag, Teagan came up behind me and led me to a full length mirror in the master bedroom. He helped me step into the black spaghetti strap dress. Pulling up the zipper, he put both of his hands on my shoulders and gave me a quizzical look.

“What?” I said.

“Something is missing,” he said.

“No, you saw this dress on me at Filene’s and this is the same dress
,” I said, poking him in the chest.

“Hmmm…”

I turned back around to look at myself in the mirror and it was a welcome sight. I looked beautiful. I saw my radiant tan from the hurling Saturdays and hikes with Teagan. I saw the weight I’d left my parents house. Food seemed to be the last thing on my mind this summer. Teagan pulled a chain out from his pocket and unclasped the necklace. He put it around my neck and my hand immediately went to the Claddaugh charm. I stilled and felt nothing but shock. All the breath left my lungs as I clutched the very romantic gift in my hand. Was he telling me something with this gift? Was I now his girl for real or just the temporary one that he initiated at the beginning of the summer? I shook my head and pushed the thought of a real relationship to the back of my head. Teagan would never know what some necklaces meant to American girls.

I turn
ed to look at him and he gave me the sexiest smile. “For my American girl. So you never forget your Irish boy,” he said quietly.

“It’s beautiful
,” I said in awe.

“I
’m glad you like it,” Teagan said, putting his forehead to mine. “I’m glad you like me.”

He kisse
d me softly, and as soon as it started, it ended. He crooked his head towards the outside window and said, “Let’s go, baby. We don’t want to be late.”

I nod
ded, slipped on my new strappy black heels, and grabbed my clutch. He held out his hand. I took it and we headed out towards the car.