Unknown (17 page)

'Guests?' Anna looked blank.

'We run a guest-house. At Greve de Lecq. Didn't Rick tell you?' Mrs Alexandre gave her son a reproving look, and he smiled, unrepentant.

'When I'm with Anna we have other things to discuss, Mother. Other things to do, as well!' he said cheekily, knowing Anna would blush.

She did, of course, but his mother, seeing her embarrassment, began to talk about the guesthouse run by her husband and herself. 'We don't open until Easter and we close in October as a rule, but if you're ever in Jersey do look us up. It doesn't matter if we are closed. We can always find a room for any friend of Rick's.'

Overwhelmed, Anna thanked her, believing she might take up the invitation. She would go late in the year, she decided, perhaps early October when she had another fortnight's holiday. She wouldn't wish to disturb them out of season.

All too soon dusk was upon them and Anna knew she must leave. Nurse Dixon was at home but Anna felt guilty at leaving her mother for so long. It wasn't fair. From under her long, gold-tipped lashes Anna surveyed the family scene before her.

Rick stood with his back to the fireplace, his face animated as he described a hospital colleague to his father, who sat contentedly puffing on a cigar. Mrs Alexandre began to clear away the dishes and Anna jumped up to help, glad to get away from the family circle. It brought home her own and her mother's isolation—and it hurt.

When Rick drove her back to Millstones, he left her with a cheery wave. He made no attempt to kiss her or even squeeze her hand, and perversely Anna was angry. She would have objected, or tried to, if he'd caressed her, but surely a little kiss wouldn't have hurt? One kiss from him was worth half a dozen from anyone else. It was hard to believe now that she had once enjoyed Mike Forster's caresses. Hard to believe she endured those of Paul Tester, as well.

Anna knew now, after that little glimpse of heaven, that she would rather stay in every night than spend even a minute with another man. Getting the message across to Dr Tester was hard, though. At first he didn't understand. When he did, he became angry, a vein standing out at the corner of his brow.

Anna feared for his blood pressure, but he didn't appreciate her concern and told her so, brusquel
y.

'I'm sorry,' she murmured. They were having dinner at a club not far from Southampton. As always, she'd insisted on going Dutch so that she would not be beholden to him. She stared down at her steak, her appetite gone, little nerves in her stomach jumping and fluttering about. She hated scenes, avoided people with quick tempers, but she had to be honest with him. It would do the man no good to keep on hoping.

'Am I to know the name of my successor?' he asked nastily, and Anna's eyes flashed. He put up a hand as if in surrender. 'Green fire, Anna. You'll never be poor while you have emeralds for eyes,' he said wryly, drawing back his chair, leaving the steak untouched in front of him.

'Well—who is he?' he demanded, as he obediently stopped his car several yards from her gate.

Anna dropped her eyes. 'No one in particular,' she said after a lengthy silence, and Paul laughed harshly.

'There is, but you aren't going to tell me,' he commented. 'I suppose, whoever he is, he doesn't know you exist?' Taking her silence for confirmation, he went on, 'The fellow must be blind. Anna Curtis carrying a torch for him and he doesn't notice!'

She moved to get out of the car, but he placed a hand on her shoulder. 'Anna!' he pleaded. 'I love you, I
need
you!'

'No. It was just friendship, remember? I suppose I was naive, thinking I could have a platonic friendship with you,' she whispered, hating herself for what she was doing to him, yet knowing it was in Paul's best interests.

Without another word he let her go, and a disconsolate Anna walked the remaining few yards to Millstones. If only love wasn't so complicated.

During the two weeks she was in school, Anna clung to the thought .that Rick had wanted her to meet his parents. Surely that meant some degree of involvement on his part? He wouldn't take every girlfriend home to meet them. It was a comforting thought, but as she walked to the Training School at the end of her second week, she saw Beth Sinclair and Rick, hand in hand.

With eyes that ached because of her unshed tears, Anna watched them get into Rick's car. Beth laughed up at him, Anna could see her sparkling teeth even from that far away. Then the car turned out of the hospital driveway and sped away in the direction of the coast. Towards Rick's bungalow. Of course they might have been going for a drive, or. . .Or perhaps Rick was taking Beth to meet his parents before they returned to Jersey.

It was bitter gall to her. And, on top of that, she had an unpleasant interview with Mrs Lucas, who expressed her disappointment in Anna's report from Park Ward. Anna must, she said, show a marked improvement. The tutor uttered no threats, did not say 'or else' but the words were implied, and Anna was nearly in tears when she got home. From now on, she vowed, she would work and study until she dropped. Her career was of vital importance. Men were definitely out!

Anna managed to keep her resolution for a whole week. She was on the children's ward now—Summer Ward. It was full of noise from morning till night and she found it strange at first. Never having been used to children, the noise and chatter gave her a splitting headache, but by the time her days off came around, she was reluctant to leave the children. One of them, Jimmy, a boy of seven, was just like a junior version of Rick, and he became her special favourite.

Mothers were allowed to visit at any time they wished—indeed visiting hours were very generous throughout the hospital. Jimmy's mother had three other children, all younger than him, so could not visit very often, and Anna tried to give him extra attention, simply because he had no one else. She hated leaving him for her two days off, but promised to bring him a present when she returned.

She was browsing through the quaint Middleborough shops for Jimmy's gift when she bumped into Rick Alexandre. He, too, was examining toys and putting them down again.

'It's been a long time, Anna. How is your love-life?' he asked softly, beginning to turn the key of a mechanical rabbit.

A sad-eyed Anna ignored the remark and watched the rabbit perform its jerky dance, emitting squeaks as it turned. 'I don't like that,' Rick commented, but Anna was making her way to the soft toy counter. Why should Rick care about her love-life? She
had
no love-life without him, so it was a waste of time replying.

What on earth did one buy for a boy of seven? Spoilt for choice she eventually settled on some drawing books and non-toxic pens, knowing how children loved to suck pens and pencils. She would give the pens to him when he was being discharged. Sister wouldn't thank her for brightly coloured sheets!

Rick wandered over and waved a furry duck at her. 'Like this? Or shall I buy a teddy?'

'What? Oh, a teddy is so ordinary. Everyone has a teddy bear!'

'I haven't. Never mind, what about this pink elephant? He's really handsome,' Rick enthused, and Anna tried to forget her heartache in helping him find a suitable cuddly toy—presumably for a nephew or niece. Niece, she decided, as he finally bought the pink elephant. His mother had told her that Rick's married sister often helped in the guesthouse.

'I'm off tomorrow,' he said suddenly, and Anna gave him a suspicious look.

'That's nice for you,' she said tartly, then wished she hadn't as his face darkened. 'Forgive me, Rick. I'm just overtired,' she murmured, trying to hide her resentment. He turned to her only when no one better was available. It was so obvious—surely he must realise she knew? Perhaps he thought she was so besotted with him that she was content to be second-best. In a way that was true, but she didn't intend him to find out!

'Children's ward getting you down, is it?'

Her green eyes softened. 'No, I love it. But the noise was hard to take at first. Then the mothers are always around. When they're chatting among themselves it doesn't help!'

'I like kids. I want three of my own. Or four. Have to see how it goes!' he joked, and Anna felt sick.

It was probably mingled jealousy and shock rather than anything serious, but she knew she had to sit down. Wildly she gazed around for a chair or the exit. Fresh air. That was what she needed.

With a muttered excuse she thrust the books and pens into Rick's arms and dashed out, not stopping until she was outside the little store. There were several benches nearby and she plonked herself down on one. It was too cold to sit about but she was glad of the support for her legs.

Whatever must Rick be thinking? He would believe her mad. But it was his fault she felt ill! Boasting about the children he and that . . . that Beth Sinclair were going to have! Quite likely they'd started one already. The more she thought about it, the more truth there seemed to be in her wild guess. Beth hadn't looked well when Anna saw her in the canteen a couple of days before. The 'flu epidemic was over, so . . .

Rick's baby. A baby boy, with large blue-grey eyes and . . . Anna almost choked as she forced back the tears. It could be that the fluffy elephant was for his baby. She must be pleased for them both, must not begrudge Rick a little happiness. True love meant that you wished your loved one happiness, even if he could not be happy with you. If it
was
true love she felt for Rick then she must be glad for him. Glad. She clenched her fists, then Rick was beside her, stroking her cold, numb fingers back into life.

From out of the depths of her misery Anna summoned up a sweet smile for him. He must never know that he had just trodden on her heart. 'I'm sorry. I felt rather sick,' she explained, and he dropped her hands as if he'd touched a hot brick.

'Too much studying, I expect,' he said brusquely, leading her towards his car. 'Or too many late nights,' he added.

'No. I'm always in early,' she protested. 'Really there's no need to give me a lift.'

He stopped so suddenly that a passer-by bumped into them. Waiting until the man had gone, he snapped, 'Why? Is he picking you up?' The blue-grey eyes were sending out storm signals and Anna was half afraid of the anger she saw there.

'No one is picking me up,' she said stubbornly. 'I . . . Oh! I meant those books and pens for little Jimmy! I'll have to go back.' A package was thrust into her hands and she stared at it stupidly.

'It's the books and pens,' Rick explained slowly, as if she really was stupid. 'The books and pens you threw at me when you felt. . . unwell.'

Before she could thank him, he was gone, and Anna was left standing in the middle of the High Street, her gift clutched to her chest. The man she loved strolled away without a backward glance.

'But she was all right when I left her!' Anna could not believe that her mother had suffered another heart attack, and her mind went blank, shutting out the shrill tones of Nurse Dixon, who had telephoned her on Summer Ward. 'She can't have. She . . .' Anna stopped, realisation dawning at last. Mother was seriously ill and she must hurry home. If only she didn't feel so inadequate!

As she flung her raincoat on, Anna wondered why Nurse Dixon hadn't requested an ambulance—perhaps it was already too late . . . Wishing she had listened more carefully to the phone message she hurried along the corridor, longing for the sight of Rick's familiar figure.
He
would understand, would help. But children's ward was a long way off his beat. The only way she could contact him was by having him bleeped, and she didn't dare. It wasn't his problem. In any case, Mother's doctor would probably be there by the time she arrived.

Fear lent wings to her feet as she began the mad dash across the car-park. She hadn't waited to call a taxi, knowing she could be home before it arrived. She was nearly at the hospital entrance when a car tooted behind her. Could it be Rick? Her lips half formed his name as she spun round—to meet the baffled gaze of Paul Tester.

'Oh, Paul! Could you give me a lift?' she pleaded, feeling bad at using him but her mother's needs were paramount.

Without a word he opened the door and she collapsed against him, panting. 'I feel awful asking you, but. . . it's Mother!' she burst out, filling him in on the details as they drove.

'Might it be hysterical?' he queried, frowning. They drew up outside the house before Anna could answer, and she was upset that Dr Smith's car wasn't there.

'He hasn't come! Poor Mother!' Without waiting for the consultant, Anna dashed in through the open front door then paused uncertainly. She could hear raised voices and she thought the noise came from her mother's room.

She put her finger to her lips as she tiptoed towards the room, followed by Paul, who muttered that her mother was surprisingly vocal for a person who was at death's door.

Anna shot him a pained glance and his lips quirked. Embarrassed and angry because she had panicked when she ought to have remained calm, Anna softly opened the door.

Jennifer was lying back against umpteen pillows, spots of colour on her cheeks, kneading a large handkerchief, her hands moving restlessly. Nurse Dixon raised an eyebrow at Anna, then pursed her lips and shrugged.

Anna knew that meant Jennifer was giving a performance and that she hadn't been in real danger. Relieved, she ran towards her mother, flinging her arms around the taut, tearful figure.

'Mother! You had me so worried!' she scolded, then remembered to her horror that she'd brought a consultant out on a wild-goose chase!

Paul Tester hovered in the doorway, looking puzzled. Then his face cleared and he and Jennifer stared at each other. Perplexed, Anna looked from one to the other, expecting to see anger on the doctor's face. Instead his expression was indefinable. Amazement, disbelief and some other emotion were mingled on his heavy features. It was her mother who broke the silence.

'Paul? Paul Tester! It
is
you?' Jennifer disentangled herself from Anna, and opened her arms in welcome to the consultant.