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His kisses drugged her and combined with the wine she'd drunk—a heady combination. When he began to unzip her dress she protested, but it was a half-hearted protest, her lips barely forming the words that would deny him. This was so right! They belonged together. She loved him so it must be right.

She reached up and stroked his dear face, then a tremor shot through her as his fingers closed over her breast. 'Please don't,' she murmured. She ought to protest more vigorously, but his hands were doing crazy things to her mind as well as to her body and she had no will left to resist him.

'It's all right, Anna. Don't fight me now,' he soothed, his voice strange and husky, unlike his normal, everyday tones. 'I want you,' he whispered. 'If you're going to say no, dearest, say it now,' he said, then his teeth began to nuzzle her breast.

'No, please. I ... I mean yes,' she murmured, her own urgency matching his. 'I love you, Rick,' she said, wonderingly, forcing open her heavy eyelids so that she could gaze into the eyes of the man she loved.

Gently, he kissed her eyes and a sweet smile curved her mouth. He loved her! Wasn't he proving it by word and gesture? This was heaven!

'How many men have you had, Anna?'

The question sobered her, and she didn't know how to answer. If she confessed her virginity he would laugh. Yet if she didn't, he would be angry, expecting an experienced lovemaker and finding only a scared, immature girl.

She forced the word out between clenched teeth. 'None.'

Rick gave a heavy sigh and Anna felt the cold at last. Her body began to shake and she couldn't control it. 'I wanted you to!' she wailed.

He got up and walked away from her, then sighed, a deep, troubled sigh, and she wanted to run to him, let him rest his dark, tousled head on her shoulder. Yet she must not.

He ran long fingers distractedly through his hair and managed a brief smile. Anna hardly dared breathe.

'I'll drive you home. Shan't be a jiffy.' He turned towards the door, then changed his mind, moving purposefully towards her instead.

She tensed, waiting for this dangerous animal to spring. Instead, he trailed his finger down her still flushed cheek. 'I know you can't help it, Anna. You didn't mean to tease.'

She gave a tremulous smile. 'I'm sorry. Really I am. I'm not like that. Not promiscuous, I mean,' she faltered, then flinched away from the laughter in his eyes. 'There's no need to laugh! I can't help the way I am!' Her voice rose, and the laughter died away from those stormy eyes.

He moved closer, then put lean, capable hands on her shoulders, his touch sending a thrill down her spine and up again. Her body pressed itself to his, and her face lifted to receive his kisses. Desire sprang between them again, and she clung to him unashamedly.

'Anna!' he moaned, then pushed her violently away. He gazed down at the stricken girl.

She couldn't meet his gaze. Embarrassment covered her. She was horrified at her own reaction. Certainly it wasn't the sort of behaviour one expected from Jennifer Curtis' daughter.

Rick chuckled, the sound making Anna wish herself dead. 'I'm surprised at you, Anna! I didn't know you were capable of such provocation!' he taunted, then he strolled towards the door whistling a little tune as he went.

The
drive home was a nightmare for Anna. She didn't know where to look, she was so embarrassed. Perhaps she'd imagined the incident. Why, it was completely foreign to her nature!

She coloured fiercely at her thoughts, wishing Rick Alexandre miles away. He must be laughing to himself! Indeed, he seemed in remarkably good humour. He was still humming a little tune. Anna could hear it above the purr of the engine.

How dared he sound so happy! She was miserable and her head ached. Her body ached too, from non-fulfilment. She wanted Rick. Her body, her senses had clamoured for him, and now she was frustrated, aching inside. It was a deep, gnawing ache such as she'd never experienced before. Was that love? she asked herself, but came up with no answer.

She had the car door open before the car had completely stopped, and darted away without so much as a backward glance. Poor Mother! She would be so distressed—and angry.

Jennifer
was
angry. But it was a cold, controlled anger. Anna's eyes went to the clock—nearly three o'clock!

'Oh, Mother! I
am
sorry! Time just flew!' Anna said lamely, taking her mother's cold hands between her own and trying to warm them.

Jennifer gazed at her reproachfully. 'It's perfectly all right, Anna. I realise your . . . young man comes before your mother.' She turned her head away and stared at the wall.

Anna felt guilty and angry, both at the same time. That Rick Alexandre! She'd like to bang his head against a wall! It was all his fault. No, that was unfair. She must share the blame—she hadn't wanted the interlude to end.

She paled at the thought. She was wicked. It was all her doing and she had no right to blame Rick. 'Please, Mother. I'm sorry. I know I'm late but Rick wanted to stop off at his bungalow and . . .'

'Bungalow!' Anna flinched as her mother swung round to face her. 'He took you to his home? Am I to understand you've been alone with him in his home?'

Anna nodded, avoiding her mother's searching gaze. 'Only for a short while, though. It's very small but quite pretty,' she added, but her mother was not to be sidetracked.

'I'm surprised at you, Anna. Next thing I know, you'll be coming in at all hours of the day and night, gallivanting about with him!'

'Oh, no, I won't!' Anna assured her. 'It's. . . it's all over. It wasn't ever a romance, really. He . . . Dr Alexandre doesn't like me very much,' she went on sadly, and Jennifer snorted.

'I suppose he tried it on and when you refused he turned nasty,' she said disdainfully, and Anna felt the shame washing over her.

'It was all that man's fault. If he comes here again, I'll wipe the floor with him!' Jennifer went on heatedly, and Anna hugged her.

'Please, you mustn't get overwrought. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I ... he thought I was willing!' Anna almost sobbed, ashamed yet relieved that she'd confessed.

Jennifer sighed. 'They all do, my dear. Men are selfish, egotistical creatures. Their only concern is for their own comfort, their own needs. Your father was one in a million. You won't find another man like that.' They were both silent for a moment, thinking of the sweet, absent-minded man they'd lost.

'I had a young man once,' Jennifer went on reflectively. 'It was before I met Daddy. He was a doctor. Steamroller type. Nothing like your doctor to look at but the same personality. I
was
willing so he took what he could get then walked out,' she finished sadly, and Anna hugged her, feeling closer to her mother than she'd ever done before. Now she felt Mother would understand about Mike Forster so, hesitantly, she poured out the whole sorry tale, about Bournemouth, the short clandestine meetings outside Millstones, their love— everything.

It was a relief to get it off her chest and it did not upset or even bother her mother particularly, much to Anna's surprise. Mother was stronger than she'd realised.

'And this Mike?' her mother queried. 'Is he still waiting under the clock-tower?'

Anna smiled. 'I hope not! But I have to go round there and make sure. I must apologise to him.' She searched her mother's face for reassurance, and Jennifer nodded.

'Yes, I suppose you must. But you're sure you
are
finished with him? That it's all over?'

'Yes, I'm sure.' And she was. She wanted only Rick's arms about her, Rick's hard, demanding mouth on hers, Rick's body lying by her side . . . And that was something she would be forever denied.

'And Dr Alexandre? Tell me you've broken with him!' Jennifer demanded, and Anna's heart sank.

'Yes, I've broken with him,' she assured her mother, knowing it to be true, for why should he bother with her now? She'd unwittingly led him on. Now he knew the truth about her, knew she was inexperienced, he wouldn't touch her again. There were plenty of pretty girls at St Aidan's. He would soon forget the tall, red-haired student. He might already have forgotten, she mused sadly, as she made fresh tea for her mother. Once she was settled she would go into town and call on Mike. The poor man would be so angry and upset.

Mike flung open the door at Anna's knock, his face concerned, not angry at all, and guilt stabbed at her.

'Anna! For pity's sake! I waited over an hour!' He almost dragged her into the small, untidy flat and shut the door, still keeping hold of her arm.

His grip was painful and Anna tried to break free without success. 'Mike! Let me go! I bruise easily she protested, as he pushed her onto the old-fashioned settee and settled himself next to her.

'Where I'm going to bruise you, it won't show-!' he assured her, and Anna felt the first stirrings of alarm. He must be thinking she'd come for the rest of the afternoon.

'No, Mike! Listen, please. I came to apologise . . .' she began, but his mouth covered hers and he began kissing her, expertly no doubt, but it left her cold. She no longer felt desire mounting as it used to. She'd since been aroused by a master, and Mike's efforts seemed clumsy by comparison.

He pressed her back against the cushions and something dug into her ribs. She could hear the settee protesting. Making a supreme effort she flung Mike's bulky body off, using her legs as well as her arms. She had the advantage of surprise—he wasn't expecting resistance.

'Mike! Please listen. I came to apologise, not to stay!' Her breasts heaved with the effort of freeing herself, and Mike's eyes were fixed on them.

His face was flushed and she didn't trust the feverish glitter in his pale eyes. 'You aren't staying?' he queried softly, and his lip curled as Anna nodded.

'Running back home to have your nappy changed, are you?' he taunted, and Anna flinched.

'That's a nasty thing to say! We ... we had friends in this morning and I couldn't get away from them,' she lied, hoping he would never find out the truth. 'It wasn't Mother's fault, Mike.'

He grunted, still wearing that sullen expression she'd seen so often before. 'Why can't you stay now?' He patted the settee invitingly.

'Because I have to get Mother's tea. It's the housekeeper's afternoon off,' Anna said, with some relief. At least it was a legitimate excuse.

'When I'm in Northern Ireland, you will think about me sometimes, won't you?' Mike asked suddenly, and Anna felt about an inch high.

'Oh, Mike! Must you go? Do you want promotion that badly?' she wailed, feeling wicked and selfish. Who was she to deny her boyfriend what she had offered so freely to the registrar?

He shrugged and got up, stretching and yawning. 'I'm doing it for you—for us. I need the extra money and there is a big market over there. As long as you think about me sometimes, I'll be OK,' he said, a trifle wistfully. He looked so young and vulnerable that Anna's soft heart melted and she flung herself into his arms.

With a whoop of joy, Mike tightened his arms about her and began stroking her back gently, one finger trailing up and down the ridges of her spine. Then his hand cupped her breast and she pulled herself away.

To her surprise he let her go, his smile wry. 'Not good enough for mummy's little girl, I suppose? I haven't any fancy airs and graces. All I can offer is plain and simple love.'

She felt his hurt, suffered with him, but could do nothing to ease his pain. She could not, she simply could not let him make love to her. It would be a betrayal of all she felt for Rick.

Without another word, she let herself out of the shabby flat and walked thoughtfully down the lino-covered stairs. Perhaps Mike was right. Perhaps she was a snob and unconsciously did not consider Mike good enough for her. But that was ridiculous! He was a fine man despite his faults. She cared for him. She realised she no longer loved him, if indeed she ever had, but she still wanted to be friends and she was concerned about him. The weight of her guilt hung heavy about her as she began the long walk home.

*

Anna slipped back easily into the routine on her return to duty. It was as if her two days' break had never been, as if the passionate interlude with Dr Rick Alexandre had never taken place. But it had! She loved him. She was quite sure of that now, though a cautionary voice within reminded her that she'd been convinced, once, that she loved Mike Forster. Anyway, it didn't matter. Dr Alexandre would have no time for her now. Of that she
was
convinced.

It seemed that she was right. During the next few days whenever they met he was cold, distant, impersonal, as if he'd never held her in his arms.

They were perfect strangers now and it hurt. Anna still went about her duties with a pleasant smile for the patients, but the light within had died. Once off duty, she went to bed early and rose late. She hadn't the energy for anything but no one appeared to notice save Mrs Jenkins, who told her she must ask the doctor for a tonic. The doctor
was
the tonic if she but knew! It wasn't medicine Anna needed, it was a smile from the doctor, an intimate look from those beautiful blue-grey eyes.

The patients were much the same as before. John Snelling was showing signs of improvement, his diabetes was becoming more stable, and it seemed as though he would have to be discharged before Christmas.

On Dr Tester's ward-round days they were always busy and that particular day was no exception. Everyone, it seemed, was to have the big bath, and Anna was rushed off her feet.

Apart from being so depressed she was also studying hard as the notes on heart disorders for Sister Noakes were due to be presented at the end of the week, and she was nowhere near finished, despite her valiant efforts. She simply could not study, for Rick Alexandre's lean face
would
keep getting in the way, his mocking eyes gazing up at her. from her textbooks.