Unhinge Me (15 page)

Bear attacked Alex the minute she walked in the door. Having Rachael to feed and spend time with her was apparently not enough for the bitchy cat. She tried to convince herself that Bear only missed her and that was her motivation for the attack, but she wasn’t convinced.

It was after midnight already. She went into the kitchen to make sure Bear had food and water, which she did, and then went right up to her room.

Suddenly feeling mentally and physically exhausted, she didn’t even bother to put her clothes in the hamper. She just stripped them all off right in front of her bed and slid under the blankets in nothing but her underwear. The sheets felt cool and soothing on her bare skin.

Bear came running in and jumped on the bed, meowing for attention. Alex sighed and absentmindedly stroked the cat’s fur. Soon the feline was curled up against her stomach and purring. Alex looked down at her and smiled at the familiarity of the little beast. She really did love her royal wretchedness.

Finally, the emotions she’d hid behind her high wall escaped and she began to cry. She still didn’t know why she was so upset, but the tears just started coming and coming. Bear snuggled closer as she cried for what seemed like hours.

She decided the first thing she was going to do in the morning was to call in reinforcements. Rachael didn’t have classes early so she would be able to come right over. The thought gave her enough comfort to slow the tears. She took another deep breath and burrowed deeper into her pillow. The tears stayed at a steady flow until she finally fell asleep.

After a fitful night’s sleep, Alex woke early and couldn’t go back to sleep. She showered and got ready for the day, but it was still too early to call Rachael. She sat around feeling fidgety and finally decided to go for a run. It had been forever since she had been running. Maybe it would make her feel better.

For a change of scenery, she took the route through town instead of the park. It felt good to have her feet on the road again. Even though it had been a while, she got right back into her rhythm and was soon jogging her way through her thoughts. Running usually helped to center her and helped clear her mind, but this time it just didn’t seem to help. Her thoughts kept circling back to Caleb and Graham and her strange emotions the night before.

She ran down Main Street and crossed at one of the crosswalks. When she turned to cross again, she was so distracted by the things going through her mind that she almost ran right in front of a car. A shout from behind her saved her. She stopped just in time and backed out of the road onto the sidewalk in shock. She stood there panting, dazed and confused. She couldn’t believe she was that distracted. It was so unsafe and unlike her.

“Oh my goodness, are you alright?” came the same voice who’d saved her.

She looked back to see who it was and recognized the teacher who taught across the hall from Caleb’s classroom.

“My God! Thank you so much Mr…”

“Edmunton,” he helped her and held out his hand. “I’ve seen you going to poetry class a few times. You can call me Paul,” he smiled.

Alex took his hand and shook it, still a little wobbly. “Well, thank you. Mr. Edmunton. I think you just saved my life!” she said, shaking her head.

Paul frowned slightly at her use of his last name, but quickly replaced it with a smile.

“No problem! I guess I was just at the right place at the right time,” he said. “Can’t have our students making messes in the streets now can we?” he joked.

Alex laughed at his joke and looked at the shop behind him. All of a sudden, she decided she needed coffee. She thanked Paul again and walked into the little shop. Standing there, still a little out of breath, she studied the board for what she wanted. Something strong, she decided.

With her run clearly over and her strong double shot espresso in her hand, Alex walked home. She wasn’t taking any more chances with running today.

Bear had, of course, had a whole lot to say about being left alone again so soon, but Alex ignored her and went to take another shower and get ready for the day, again.

When she was done and sitting at her kitchen table with her coffee and a package of pop tarts, she finally looked at her cell phone. She had been avoiding it all morning.

There were five messages and two voicemails from Caleb. Alex groaned. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. First she needed some girl talk so that maybe she could sort through all her jumbled thoughts. She dialed Rachael, who answered almost on the first ring.

“Wow! You’re up early,” Alex mused.

“What’s wrong?” Rachael asked immediately.

“Why does there have to be anything wrong?” Alex questioned, affronted.

“Because it’s not even nine in the morning and you’re calling me, that’s why,” she shot back. Then, softer, she asked, “Are you alright?”

Alex sighed. She felt bad for waking her friend, but she knew she was going to go crazy if she didn’t talk to someone soon. “I just need you,” she simply stated.

“Be right there,” Rachael answered and hung up without saying anything else.

Alex smiled and wondered what she would do without Rachael. Bear rubbed against her leg as if responding to her thoughts, reminding her that she was also there. Alex looked over at the cat’s food dish and saw it was empty.

“Let’s see how much you love me after you’re fed.”

Rachael walked in the door about a half an hour later with more coffee and some muffins.

“I figured whatever the problem is, carbs could be part of the solution.” She dropped the bag on the table and sat down heavily in the chair across from Alex. She handed her a coffee and took a long, slow sip of her own.

She had clearly left the house in a hurry. Her hair was pulled up into a messy, loose bun, and she hadn’t even put her contacts in because her dork glasses, as she called them, were still on. She had thrown on a pair of leggings and an old Care Bear t-shirt that was hanging off one shoulder, not because it was the style, but because the neck was that stretched out.

Looking her over, Alex felt bad again for pulling her friend out of bed like she had. But Rachael was smiling, even though her eyes were still only half open.

“Talk,” she demanded and sat back. Her coffee never left her lips while she slowly drank and Alex talked. She told her all about the spot in the park and the crazy hot rain sex, and then got to the part with Graham and how she had freakishly run away. As a side note, she added the near miss with the car that morning.

While she talked, Rachael slowly woke up and, by the time she was done, so was Rachael’s coffee.

“Soooo… why the freak out?” she prodded carefully.

“I don’t know!” Alex exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air, exasperated. “It’s not like he was rude or anything. It was actually kinda cute the way they were together. Caleb seemed so relaxed and at ease. I’ve only ever seen him like that with me before. It just wigged me out to have a piece of Caleb’s past thrown at me like that, when I wasn’t ready.” She deflated like a balloon and put her head in her hands.

“Fair enough,” said Rachael. “But once you got your bearings, you still bolted. What were you afraid of?”

“Afraid of?” Alex stopped to think. “Nothing really… except that I don’t know why he is here or what he wants… I mean, he may want Caleb to go back home since he mentioned that his mom was going crazy missing him,” she supposed.

“So you’re afraid he is going to leave,” Rachael honed in. “And you could… maybe… lose him.”

Alex looked up at her friend, thinking about her words. “Ugh, yeah. That makes sense…” She looked down, letting the realization set in. “Man, Rachael, you’ve been here ten minutes and you already figured it out,” she said, shaking her head in amazement.

Rachael snorted. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out, Lex. You feel like everyone who has ever loved has left you. Now you may lose him too and… because you love him… that terrifies you.” She leaned in and took one of Alex’s hands in her own. “And that’s okay,” she insisted.

Alex looked up at her best friend. Was she right? Did Alex love him? She nodded and sniffed. “Yeah, maybe…” She wasn’t willing to admit it yet, even if it was true. “But for now, I have to deal with this other guy and I don’t know how to handle it,” she admitted. “Maybe I can suggest we all meet at Shenanigan’s, and you can come too!” she brightened.

Rachael cringed. “I don’t know about that.”

“Oh,
please
? That would be perfect! You can help me not make a fool of myself
and
you’d finally get to meet Caleb. It’s weird you guys haven’t met by now,” she added.

Rachael looked at her friend, saw the desperation in her eyes, and caved.

“Okay, fine. But I am
not
spending the night distracting some fugly, snaggle-toothed brit just to give you and your boy toy some fun time,” she promised.

Alex felt so much better thanks to the new plan. “Of course not!” she agreed, smiling.

Alex texted Caleb later that day and made plans to meet on Friday. She texted him a few more times that week, but avoided talking to him on the phone. She used the excuse that she was trying to let him spend time with his cousin, but in reality she still needed time to think. She wasn’t happy about her emotional response over the weekend and it scared her. She was afraid she was falling too hard for Caleb. The last thing she needed was to lose him somehow and be heart-broken again. She didn’t think she could handle it this time. She spent the week cleaning her apartment and pretending she actually lived there. She tried to think about other things, but Caleb’s face, while he stood in the rain telling her to never be ashamed with him, haunted her.

Caleb begged her to answer her phone and still called her a few times a day, but never showed up at her place and gave her the space she needed. She appreciated that more than anything, thankful he wasn’t clingy.

Bear seemed to be the only one happy with the arrangement. She’d been pretty nice all week and only bit Alex once, which might have been a record.

Caleb slammed his phone down onto the counter and leaned over it with his eyes squeezed shut. He had just made another failed attempt at calling Alex.